Episode 49 from The Grit Theory. 

If you want to obtain the gold that is in this conversation, there is only one way. Jump in and hold on. 

Darren’s self-proclamation preparing for the Black Toe Run: 
 “Your best efforts don’t warrant recognition. Your entitled mind will result in a broken mind. You must transcend your already heightened mindset if you have one, but even this probably won’t be enough, because others will have reached that level too. Even if you manage to win, you don’t deserve shit other than personal gain. No money, no award ceremony. Because victory here is not meant to be a finish line. This is purely a showcase of your inhumane ability to endure. You will hurt, you will continue to hurt, then you will hurt so much more. You will be forced to find your true potential, or the warm fire will find you. Comfort has no place here. Unless your comfort is the discomfort. Anything short of excellence will be defeat and even excellence will probably result in injury. In short, the Black Toe Run always wins. However, if you choose to endure, if you embody everything this race represents, you will leave forever changed, and maybe… just maybe, a champion.”

Also, check out Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be waymakers HERE.

Do you want to learn more? Check out:

The Book: Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be WayMakers.

The Podcast: “Be Relentless Podcast”

The Fuel: Sisu Stamina, Performance Evolved

Linktree: Here.

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Episode Transcript

00;00;09;01 – 00;00;33;00
Jon
Hello and welcome back to the Grit Theory. Today, I sit down with Darren Terry. He’s an absolute savage of a human being and a mentor. A giant in warrior. Darren has embraced suffering as his tool to burn off the parts of himself that cast him into his own personal hell and caused him to lose all of his hope.

00;00;33;16 – 00;01;08;17
Jon
And in so doing, he has climbed some pretty incredible mountains, both metaphorically and literally in that pursuit, culminating currently in winning the Black to Run, which was a 48 hour event for max distance and time. And he accomplished 115 miles in that venture alone. But the path to that win and what that has done for him mentally and how he interacts with his fellow human beings has changed everything about Darren’s life.

00;01;09;00 – 00;01;33;19
Jon
And it is just the beginning of his journey as he continues forward on a new chapter. So today we have the opportunity to dive in and listen to what occurred from Darren’s perspective, from a very dark moment in his CVS out to in the morning, working third shift to now when he has accomplished, some of which he’s determined to do.

00;01;34;00 – 00;02;18;23
Jon
And is still made swing on a few other things. His hope is that the theme of this episode is adversity is a test, not a restraint. And as you adjust your mindset to embracing adversity, that test turns in opportunity. And a quote from today that I think is powerful and helps get us in the right mindset as we jump in is, you know, you found your purpose when you no longer require fun company, social status recognition or rest and actually mean it.

00;02;20;01 – 00;02;55;02
Jon
We’re going go to some dark places. We’re going to climb to the top of the mountains regardless of where you’re coming from. If you struggle with feelings of doubt, hopelessness or loss. This conversation has a lot of gold in it. And the only way to get to all those nuggets is to listen So with that, let’s let’s understand a bit.

00;02;55;02 – 00;03;03;01
Jon
So you’ve crushed a couple ultramarathons in Seth. The most recent one being the black foot race in the Appalachian Mountains.

00;03;03;01 – 00;03;05;04
Darren
Too black to run Red Sea?

00;03;05;19 – 00;03;26;18
Jon
Yes, sir. That’s that. And that’s actually what caused us to meet instead of being like two ships passing the night. Right. We work at the same company. And, you know, we walk past each other a few times, but then I hear everyone talking about how you just finished this crazy run. I’m like, okay, you know, probably went and did like a 15 K or something.

00;03;27;23 – 00;03;43;16
Jon
And then I find out, no, you did the 48 hour continuous back to run an Appalachian Mountains and did 150 miles and won it this year. Mm hmm. And I said, All right, I want to meet this guy And there goes.

00;03;43;22 – 00;03;47;22
Darren
You usually don’t see that too often in the trades, do you?

00;03;48;17 – 00;03;50;03
Jon
Just in general, I think yeah.

00;03;51;29 – 00;04;14;05
Darren
I came back to the office after winning that, and everybody was asking how it went because they all knew not everybody knew But a lot of the leadership knew what I was off to do. They didn’t understand it, but they knew what I was signed up for. So coming back getting the share that I had accomplished exactly what I said I was going to do.

00;04;14;20 – 00;04;19;17
Darren
And you were standing there over hearing it. I saw that like glimmer in your eye.

00;04;19;28 – 00;04;20;09
Jon
Mm hmm.

00;04;20;27 – 00;04;26;18
Darren
Your interest piqued immediately. And then I knew you’re wearing those different breeds as well.

00;04;28;21 – 00;04;30;00
Darren
That was very exciting.

00;04;30;02 – 00;04;30;13
Jon
Yeah.

00;04;31;01 – 00;04;52;16
Darren
Because I’m not used to seeing that. It’s a breath of fresh air because not many people know what it’s like to struggle on a daily basis and then go back and do it again and again and again and get excited about it because, you know, there’s growth and all that suffering. So definitely a fresh breath of air.

00;04;53;00 – 00;05;18;10
Jon
Yeah. 100%. And that’s where right now my focus my goals are in that sport in jujitsu. So it’s like, yeah, I’ll dabble in a day’s event and something else, but I’m protecting my proceed. Just like you’re protecting yours and we’ll get to what your current one is, which is pretty exciting also. But you came back, you finished this run, and that marked a turning point, right?

00;05;18;10 – 00;05;52;00
Jon
A change in how you set goals and what those things look like and stuff. And there’s a long path to get to the point of winning that one. So your story is one that I think is worth hearing and is necessary for us to explore together. If anyone’s going to have any context on why the things we’re talking about have such a close hold to our lives, you know, and specifically for you, why it matters so deeply and the pursuit of bettering yourself and and discipline and grit and endurance and pushing the limits.

00;05;53;06 – 00;06;17;08
Jon
So what I’d love is, if you don’t mind, you know, I heard you share your story a while back, but if we could walk back through that and just kind of start and hit the different milestones, you know, to share your story. And we’ll just kind of talk about the milestones as we go back to current and then we can keep having fun and talk about what you’re working on now in the future and just play around.

00;06;17;13 – 00;06;17;28
Darren
Perfect.

00;06;18;02 – 00;06;19;05
Jon
Cool. Yeah.

00;06;21;00 – 00;06;23;18
Darren
So where you want me to start childhood or something like that?

00;06;24;00 – 00;06;30;19
Jon
We as far back as you want. I know CVS was a big deal. Yeah, I was a turning point. Yeah. So that was a turning point.

00;06;30;19 – 00;06;34;10
Darren
So I think it’s important to know how I was before that.

00;06;34;16 – 00;06;34;25
Jon
Okay.

00;06;35;12 – 00;07;06;19
Darren
Um, so let’s take it back to childhood. I grew up in a very loving family. No feuds, nothing. But I was never truly pushed, you know, I love my parents, but, um, they never forced me in the sports or anything like that. Maybe because they didn’t do too many themselves. I’m not sure. Um, but I definitely miss out on some key tools for conquering life.

00;07;06;27 – 00;07;07;08
Jon
Mm hmm.

00;07;09;11 – 00;07;33;25
Darren
But I haven’t talked to my brother too much an extent on how he got his drive. All I know was he had his drive from a very young age. He knew his path. His path was to become a dentist. And he dedicated his whole childhood and young adult life to accomplishing that.

00;07;34;00 – 00;07;34;09
Jon
Mm hmm.

00;07;34;16 – 00;07;54;06
Darren
And as time went on, he got more and more successful, started using that drive to do other things. You know, for example, in the summers, my grandma she played piano at her at her church. So she was always trying to give us piano lessons in the summer.

00;07;54;10 – 00;07;54;20
Jon
Mm hmm.

00;07;54;26 – 00;08;04;28
Darren
My brother had that that mindset of I want to learn. I did not. I was more concerned with, uh, cartoons and just bullshitting, I guess.

00;08;04;29 – 00;08;05;10
Jon
Mm hmm.

00;08;07;09 – 00;08;37;04
Darren
But he would dabble in those things, and, um, he was shining from a very young age. And any time that him and I were around family, friends, whatever, they would always ask him about his pursuit, not necessarily about mine. And if they ever did, my answer would be. I don’t know. Mm hmm. I never had a pursuit I didn’t even know what it meant to have drive, to be honest, how important that is.

00;08;38;02 – 00;09;11;19
Darren
So basically, I started forming this self-image of just being mediocre from a very young age. And as he grew and grew and grew, I just shrunk I got deeper into the shadow, you know? Oh, man, And, you know, in sixth grade, middle school, that’s when you’re, you know, you’re in your your math class, and that’s where you get to prove yourself to be able to get that day.

00;09;11;28 – 00;09;15;28
Darren
And then seventh grade, that’s when they start separating you from the crowd.

00;09;16;13 – 00;09;16;22
Jon
You know?

00;09;17;05 – 00;09;20;15
Darren
Oh, you got me in math. Let’s try pre-algebra.

00;09;20;25 – 00;09;21;04
Jon
Hmm.

00;09;22;05 – 00;09;28;01
Darren
The people that didn’t do so well in that math class, you get to do math again in seventh grade.

00;09;28;19 – 00;09;29;19
Jon
So you’re the difference.

00;09;29;19 – 00;09;49;09
Darren
You’re already separating yourself from the smart kids, and that becomes your identity. Right. So I was already in the shadow, and inadvertently, my brother never had any bad intentions like that. He didn’t, you know, because I never talked about it, because I didn’t even realize what was going on, to be honest.

00;09;50;12 – 00;09;51;18
Jon
And he’s just focusing on.

00;09;51;23 – 00;10;17;29
Darren
Exactly. Exactly. So I was in his shadow and now I’m making bad grades. Also, I’m starting to gain weight. Um, you know, I’m from Indiana, the country, um, corn, mashed potatoes, all that good, unhealthy stuff. Everything cooked in butter. Um, plus, my, my family is a bunch of foodies. You know.

00;10;17;29 – 00;10;18;08
Jon
So.

00;10;19;00 – 00;10;33;17
Darren
Um, I wasn’t immersed in sports. I wasn’t making good grades. Now I’m starting to gain weight, so now I’m separating myself even further. I’m the fat kid, right?

00;10;35;24 – 00;11;02;19
Darren
So as time goes on, um, you know, those smart kids start separating themselves even further. And I’ve already established in my mind that you know, I’m not that smart. I don’t even know how to truly study. And to be honest with you, once you start sliding behind like that, I don’t know if the school system realizes it, but in a kid’s mind, it makes you feel like you can’t make that ground up.

00;11;03;02 – 00;11;23;29
Darren
Hmm. Unless you have you know, a good mentor or somebody like that to be like, no, no, no, we can correct this. Yeah. And here’s what we can do to correct it. I truly hope that my brother get on the me about my grades, but, you know, he’s got his own life. He, you know, he’s working on himself.

00;11;24;09 – 00;11;28;02
Darren
He’s not necessarily going to help me with my discipline, you know?

00;11;28;06 – 00;11;28;17
Jon
Mm hmm.

00;11;30;02 – 00;11;39;15
Darren
So I was kind of left to fend for myself in a way getting in the high school. This is where it gets bad.

00;11;42;22 – 00;12;01;00
Darren
I’ll never forget it. I got into chemistry class. Not like an advanced placement class. Nothing. Just the standard chemistry. My brother had been in there. He had been in there with the teacher, and as a general icebreaker in most classes, they like asking, Have I ever had one of your siblings?

00;12;01;11 – 00;12;01;23
Jon
Mm hmm.

00;12;02;15 – 00;12;20;01
Darren
And Mr. Coy asked me, have I have I ever had your sibling? I said, Yeah. Craig Terry. Sorry, Craig. I mentioned your name, but. And he got really excited because Craig was excellent.

00;12;20;18 – 00;12;20;25
Jon
Mm.

00;12;22;03 – 00;12;51;28
Darren
Oh, he was in for a surprise because I failed everything. I wasn’t doing my homework. Nothing Um, I saw goofing off in class. That was a distraction. And I’ll never forget this. This was a really defining moment for me. I was walking into our computer lab to take our final, and as I was walking in, Mr. Koi said, is today the day, Terry?

00;12;53;11 – 00;12;55;14
Darren
And I said, Probably not.

00;12;55;23 – 00;12;56;04
Jon
Hmm.

00;12;56;17 – 00;13;01;08
Darren
That was my self-image. And I went in there, and I bombed it.

00;13;03;17 – 00;13;36;28
Darren
Fast forward to a world history class that I was in. History is fun, man. It’s supposed to be fun. You know, learning about where we’ve been as a society. And, you know, it’s not too hard to grasp that it is if your self-image is flawed. I I got kicked out of world history. Um, she said, you show absolutely no drive, and you’re distracting others who really want to be here.

00;13;39;08 – 00;14;12;12
Darren
So she opted me out of that class and study hall took its place where I could slack off even further Fast forward the senior year. Um, I got very scared because there’s no way with my GPA I was going to make it into any college whatsoever. So I start to obsess over studying this when I first, I guess, saw what my mindset was really capable of because I was able to reverse a lot of the damage that was done.

00;14;13;07 – 00;14;29;04
Darren
I would come home and I wouldn’t play games, I wouldn’t do anything. I would just crack open the book. And I remember, um, my parents got divorced, so I would say of my dad and all that. I remember. I just remember him like, you know, like ten you’re still studying.

00;14;29;14 – 00;14;29;21
Jon
Hmm.

00;14;30;25 – 00;14;51;00
Darren
You know, he was kind of looking for his time with me, but I would come home, crack the book, and wouldn’t close it until it’s time for bed. Basically, and I was able to get some decent grades, and I slid into college. I had no business in college. I didn’t have a pursuit nothing. I just went. Because that’s what you do.

00;14;51;25 – 00;14;53;09
Darren
That’s what they tell you that you do.

00;14;53;16 – 00;14;53;28
Jon
Yeah.

00;14;53;29 – 00;14;55;01
Darren
And I was scared.

00;14;55;02 – 00;14;56;03
Jon
So the system set up.

00;14;56;08 – 00;15;12;07
Darren
Yes. And I was extremely scared at this point in my life because I was like, I have no idea where I’m going. And if I don’t go to college, basically, I mean, doesn’t that mean that I’m I’m stupid, I’m worthless, whatever.

00;15;12;14 – 00;15;12;23
Jon
Hmm.

00;15;13;21 – 00;15;27;13
Darren
So, yeah, I had no business going to college, but I did anyway. And I got into the University of Southern Indiana, and within my first semester, I was already on academic probation.

00;15;35;19 – 00;15;37;04
Darren
That’s interesting to talk about.

00;15;37;28 – 00;15;42;26
Jon
Yeah, but what I’m hearing is, like, the slide of slide into hopelessness. Yes.

00;15;43;26 – 00;16;20;01
Darren
Yeah. And that’s very hard to get out of if you don’t have the tools right. For a variety of reasons, I didn’t end up obviously finishing college at all, but I tell my wife this all the time. The best thing that I got out of that experience was her how we met my my sophomore year. And even though I wasn’t going to college anymore, I couldn’t I could not move back home.

00;16;21;03 – 00;16;45;03
Darren
That was not an option. But I was staying and on campus housing so I had to I had to figure out something. So I had a bunch of questionable living situations. I don’t really want to get into it because I don’t want to get anybody in trouble. But essentially, I was homeless and um, I don’t want to overstate that.

00;16;45;03 – 00;16;55;08
Darren
I was not homeless. I had backups. I could have always went back home. I had that support system, but I didn’t truly have a place in my own at all.

00;16;55;16 – 00;16;55;24
Jon
Mm.

00;16;56;14 – 00;17;40;25
Darren
Um, and from there, I, I attempted to crawl out of this despair, basically. Um, I tried coming up with any business scheme that I could to be successful, you know, because my brother is almost me, that man, he’s almost that dentist. The time is ticking. He never knew this, but I was always comparing myself to him. I want to be successful like that to but I don’t know how but I remember one of my business ideas was one thing that got pretty big was like doing like Facebook marketing and stuff like that for businesses and I end up doing that.

00;17;41;10 – 00;17;50;20
Darren
And my first client, 517 Fitness and Evansville, Indiana. Um, they also had me build their website.

00;17;50;26 – 00;17;51;18
Jon
Um, so.

00;17;51;18 – 00;17;54;21
Darren
I learned just on the spot how to build websites.

00;17;55;25 – 00;17;57;00
Jon
That’s a fun endeavor, isn’t it?

00;17;58;10 – 00;18;21;08
Darren
I’ve always had like a level of creativity because, you know, I was never, I was always doodling in class instead of paying attention, you know, so I’ve always had more of a creative mind. So it was fun for a while. And then from there I got other opportunities to build websites for other companies. Um, so for a while I was like, Wow, I might do.

00;18;21;08 – 00;18;24;23
Jon
This, you know, pulling on that string. Yeah, yeah.

00;18;26;03 – 00;19;00;21
Darren
So where all this new money coming in? Um, I started to try and portray success, materialism, you know, stupid stuff like that. Um, I dress really nice. Um, just because anytime anybody saw me, I wanted them to know Darren has a business. He looks like business. A serious cat, you know, um, but, um, from there, uh, we get a pretty nice apartment.

00;19;01;20 – 00;19;04;10
Jon
Right at this point, who’s we getting the book?

00;19;04;15 – 00;19;33;12
Darren
Sorry. Um, my girlfriend, Miranda, and I, um, we got this nice apartment. Um, because I was like, oh, I get cash flow now. I can afford it. Well, I started not getting contracts. I started having anxiety attacks about, like, taking the business further. I would get so scared of, like, just cold calling or just walking into a business to ask for more.

00;19;33;23 – 00;19;42;26
Darren
You know, just ask for that opportunity. As soon as that adversity presented itself, I realized that I wasn’t mentally prepared for this.

00;19;43;18 – 00;19;45;01
Jon
Oh, yeah? Yeah.

00;19;45;07 – 00;19;47;12
Darren
So money is no longer flowing.

00;19;47;16 – 00;19;47;26
Jon
Mhm.

00;19;48;13 – 00;20;02;11
Darren
So I do I, uh, I see that there’s, uh, a sign on, uh, in front of CVS saying hiring third shift workers. I was like.

00;20;02;24 – 00;20;03;04
Jon
Ooh.

00;20;03;21 – 00;20;17;09
Darren
This could be a temporary thing. I could work through the night. And then stay up, build websites, you know, get that business going again and all that. I’ll be out of CVS in no time.

00;20;17;16 – 00;20;18;01
Jon
Mhm.

00;20;18;25 – 00;20;23;12
Darren
So I went in with all this cocky confidence, even though I was there because.

00;20;23;29 – 00;20;24;05
Jon
I.

00;20;25;02 – 00;20;27;04
Darren
Was not a rock star in business.

00;20;27;04 – 00;20;28;18
Jon
Yeah. Things were not going well. Yeah.

00;20;28;29 – 00;20;46;02
Darren
Yeah. Um, but eventually absolutely no opportunities were coming my way because I wasn’t actively seeking them because I was too scared. So I was just a half ass in business, basically. Um.

00;20;46;27 – 00;20;47;22
Jon
Oh, entrepreneur.

00;20;47;29 – 00;20;49;22
Darren
Yes. Yeah.

00;20;50;04 – 00;20;50;26
Jon
It’s a fun term.

00;20;51;07 – 00;21;16;16
Darren
And I remember telling Miranda that if I didn’t make it happen within like two years, I’m going to I’m going to move on, you know, and that I think I push it to three years maybe, and I was just like, all right, I can’t handle this anymore. I am now. I can’t even, like, stay up after my third shift job.

00;21;17;03 – 00;21;26;15
Darren
I am so defeated and sleep deprived, so I would just end up sleeping my day away. And before you know it, you know, businesses that are closing by the time that I’m waking up.

00;21;26;21 – 00;21;30;06
Jon
Mhm. So the cycle is just continuing, you.

00;21;30;06 – 00;21;44;10
Darren
Know, so it’s just like you, I, I can’t do it, I cannot escape this trap. Um, so eventually just for my own mental health, I push all of that to the side and all I was left with was CBS.

00;21;44;16 – 00;22;01;12
Jon
Yeah. And a quick point of clarity there, right. So you go in and you’re like, okay, I can turn this around. I’ll work the night, shift some money, some money flowing in, and then I work the days to build the business so that doesn’t leave really any time for sleep. So you’re maybe getting an hour or two. That accurate?

00;22;01;17 – 00;22;04;07
Darren
Yeah. You’re not performing the movie at all.

00;22;04;12 – 00;22;29;04
Jon
Over time that hour to wears you down to the point of breaking you sleep deprivation wise so that you need to sleep during the day because you’re going you’re losing it. Yeah. And then what you just said is you let go. You push the side stuff away after losing more and more of the opportunities of the day and the fear is compounding and the panics compounding and everything’s compounding to the point where it’s like okay, well, at least I can sleep and to do this job.

00;22;29;17 – 00;22;39;27
Jon
Yeah, because at least the money’s coming in from it. So you push everything away, bring your business in. You’re just CVS night shift in life now, correct? Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah.

00;22;46;00 – 00;23;18;05
Darren
I also need the note. I was so scared of failing in everybody’s eyes that I was even more scared of feeling in Miranda’s eyes. Because before I even pushed the business stuff to the side, I had proposed to her. You know, I saw a life with her, and I didn’t want her to know how bad we were truly struggling as far as she knew we had it, because I had this kind of a compulsive lying issue about the finances.

00;23;18;29 – 00;23;26;21
Darren
I worried that we’ve kind of focus on school. Finish that up. I’ve got this. I did not have this man.

00;23;28;12 – 00;23;33;12
Jon
And and that just further degrades the situation and increases the panic and fear.

00;23;33;13 – 00;24;03;22
Darren
Yes. And I’ll never forget it. I, I was able to avoid several, like, eviction warnings, but one day they had enough in my apartment complex, you know, people and they called the secondary contact and they called Miranda on her first day at her new job after college, saying if you don’t have this money ready, you know, we’re going to evict you.

00;24;03;22 – 00;24;06;19
Darren
And like only so many days, like single digits.

00;24;06;26 – 00;24;07;06
Jon
Hm.

00;24;08;02 – 00;24;08;22
Darren
Oh, man.

00;24;10;29 – 00;24;22;24
Darren
That was a bad situation. Um, I, I can’t recall how we even came up with that money, but we relied on family several times, and that’s pretty degrading. Right?

00;24;23;19 – 00;24;26;04
Jon
So not to mention that conversation when you got home.

00;24;26;17 – 00;24;47;16
Darren
Yeah, because, um, I can’t just hide in lies anymore. It’s all starting to come out of this compounding effect. You know, all the compounding effects are adding up. There’s no hiding. I am failing, but we work through that. Ultimately, those times out.

00;24;47;23 – 00;24;49;04
Jon
I’m shut out. Stranded, huh?

00;24;49;07 – 00;25;08;02
Darren
Yes. She put up with a lot with me. Um, in fact, she used to call me a squirrel, basically, because I would always jump on the next thing because I was such a half ass. You know, if she like, you would get so obsessed over something and then immediately jump ship as soon as it got a little difficult or whatever.

00;25;08;05 – 00;25;13;03
Darren
I’m not dogging on hearing it was the truth. So shout out to her.

00;25;13;21 – 00;25;14;07
Jon
Speaking the.

00;25;14;07 – 00;25;28;14
Darren
Truth. Am I right? But okay. So business gets pushed, pushed to the side. I’m left with the CBS third shift. Yes. Now my self-image is at an all time.

00;25;28;14 – 00;25;28;24
Jon
Low.

00;25;30;19 – 00;25;43;24
Darren
Because I’m engaged. You know, we’re going to get married. I don’t even know what my future looks like. There’s just darkness for me. She’s the only light in this thing.

00;25;44;25 – 00;25;47;08
Jon
Are you start to shape to also.

00;25;47;17 – 00;25;58;29
Darren
No, no, no, no. I need to back up here after high school. A big thing that got on my way in college, too, was I did find an obsession and that was weightlifting.

00;25;59;06 – 00;25;59;15
Jon
Okay?

00;26;00;13 – 00;26;26;13
Darren
Because right after high school, I was I was tired of being the fat kid. So I dedicated that summer after high school, to getting very lean, teaching myself about nutrition and fitness and all that. And, in fact, uh, my cousin, my first cousin, Matthew Tomlin, he he joined me on that journey. Rice, and we pulled that, that string together, and we just obsessed over powerlifting and bodybuilding.

00;26;26;18 – 00;26;27;12
Darren
We loved it.

00;26;27;21 – 00;26;28;02
Jon
Nice.

00;26;28;20 – 00;26;31;03
Darren
A little too much. He got in the way of a.

00;26;31;03 – 00;26;34;15
Jon
Lot so.

00;26;35;08 – 00;26;48;18
Darren
But at around that time, you know, I was just left at CBS, and the business was done I did start getting out of shape again because I was just losing my whole drive for anything.

00;26;49;07 – 00;26;49;19
Jon
And, uh.

00;26;50;07 – 00;26;57;04
Darren
Matthew came to visit me one day from out of town, and he was just like, Wow, you’ve ballooned up.

00;26;58;29 – 00;27;00;14
Jon
To more that honesty. Yeah.

00;27;00;27 – 00;27;01;29
Darren
Yeah. And so just adding.

00;27;02;24 – 00;27;03;14
Jon
Fuel to that.

00;27;03;14 – 00;27;31;15
Darren
Fire, you know, just making it worse. Um, it ended up being around three years. I was just left with CBS. I would have customers like, um, you know, just repeat customers coming in. Maybe, like, you’re still here, you’re still here, you’re still here year after year. It was very degrading, and all the while, my brother’s still on the rise.

00;27;33;25 – 00;27;45;11
Darren
And I’m, believe it or not, even in the starkest point, I’m still trying to portray this image of success because I didn’t want anybody to know how bad I was feeling.

00;27;48;09 – 00;27;49;06
Jon
Just added to it.

00;27;50;09 – 00;28;17;13
Darren
You live in somebody else’s life, basically. You’re living your life for somebody else. So all of that added up one night? Yeah, I just I was walking the aisles of CBS, and it’s probably 1:00 in the morning. Nobody had been in there in a while. Um, I just had this complete breakdown. It was an anxiety attack. I don’t know what it was.

00;28;17;13 – 00;28;41;22
Darren
It was something big. Just like, you know, I did have friends. I did have my best friend, Matthew, um, still in my lives, but they weren’t as president as Miranda. So, really, she was the only gleaming hope in my life. Other than that there was no purpose. I didn’t even know what I was living for.

00;28;43;27 – 00;28;53;29
Darren
And I it’s kind of scary to say that you get dark in your mind in a moment like that.

00;28;54;04 – 00;28;54;12
Jon
Um.

00;28;54;26 – 00;28;56;09
Darren
Admit something like that.

00;28;56;22 – 00;28;57;01
Jon
Yeah.

00;28;57;10 – 00;29;33;25
Darren
Um, in fact, if any of my family ever heard this, you know, that’s scary, you know, to share with them but, um, that’s the reality. And I’m going to start, you know, portraying that, um, but that, um, that creative side, I think it started speaking to me in that dark moment. Like, there’s always been this optimist somewhere in there, this dreamer, you know, I’m always trying to make something of myself, but I would always come up short right?

00;29;34;08 – 00;29;39;09
Darren
Whenever you get that dark, you have to get real or opt out of the program.

00;29;41;23 – 00;30;11;09
Darren
In that moment, probably because, you know, I had that history of powerlifting and bodybuilding. I was just like, I want to set a goal, not a goal, a life dream. And it needs to be so impossible that I might chase it for the rest of my life, but I need to change everything about me. I never want to be a half ass again.

00;30;12;05 – 00;30;41;08
Darren
I don’t want my family to look at me as kind of like, oh, that’s that’s too bad for him. You know, he’s going down this bad path. No, I want to change all of that. I want to change how I view myself whenever I wake up in the morning. I want to live with some crazy fire inside. Um, so that if I pursue this dream, I never give up.

00;30;42;12 – 00;31;06;22
Darren
If I die in pursuit of it, at least people like Miranda could be like, Wow, he was very driven and unstoppable. So that, uh, that dream was to set a Guinness world record. And I thought hey, I can’t do pull ups. Why don’t we make it a pull up record? I didn’t even know which one I wanted to shoot for, but that was.

00;31;06;29 – 00;31;29;05
Darren
That was it. And I accepted that no matter how much struggle I go through, I’m. I’m going to never give up in fact, I, I’ve. I’m still in pursuit of it. Um, my path has taken a lot of twists and turns, so I’ve. I still haven’t gotten it, so that’s okay.

00;31;29;18 – 00;31;54;24
Jon
Real quick. So you you’re running, right? And as you’re running through life, you’re becoming more and more hopeless, more and more desperate, and you just get into this rut to where even the customers are slowly degrading on what you’re holding on to with this false perception, right? Like, oh, you’re still here, or you’re still you’re just like this dripping reminder of I’m living a lie.

00;31;55;18 – 00;32;24;21
Jon
And I’m stuck. And that one night in CVS, you meet yourself and can’t run from it anymore. Yeah. And that puts you in a decision pathway mode, right? You’re at a fork in the road. Yes. And one leads to opting out of the game. Nothing out of this whole thing, calling it quits. Right. And the other one, because you’re at rock bottom and you’re like living like this is not worth living in.

00;32;24;21 – 00;32;55;20
Jon
The other option, that little optimistic voice, that creative pieces. What if I manufactured, created something to pursue, to fix all of the things I hate about where I am now in living wasn’t what I’m living now. Yeah, and you chose that. And the means of doing that to start that thing, to grab on to say, okay, or give me something to pursue and begin changing everything I don’t like about myself for the things I want to be was the Guinness Records with pull ups.

00;32;56;11 – 00;32;59;08
Jon
And that started like the Sparks again? Yes. Okay.

00;32;59;16 – 00;33;05;08
Darren
And I knew I really knew what my problems were, man. I think most people.

00;33;05;08 – 00;33;05;24
Jon
Do.

00;33;05;26 – 00;33;30;14
Darren
Know what their issues are that hold them back. It’s the demons, you know, but nobody ever wants to face them, it seems I didn’t want to face mine. Mine were my whole life. I just wanted actually neither my whole life, because the majority of that childhood, I was in the shadow, and I didn’t even realize that was destroying my mentality.

00;33;31;05 – 00;33;58;25
Darren
Um, but I always wanted to be on Craig’s level. And as time went on, um, I just. And he got more successful. I wanted to be like that, too, and I wanted the people that never asked me. I want my pursuit to be I wanted them to be like, Hey, Darren, successful, too. So I needed validation from everybody I knew this social status, I guess especially.

00;33;58;25 – 00;34;32;15
Darren
And, you know, as I started business, um, so I knew to pursue this dream, I have to drop all of that. I don’t care about social status anymore. Meaning I also don’t care about materialism anymore. Um, so in that moment, you know, I went ahead and deleted my social media presence, um, because I knew on this path you know, even if I didn’t make it public, I’m going to get a lot of hate that might hold me back.

00;34;32;15 – 00;34;45;17
Darren
But also, I don’t even want people’s positivity. I don’t want anybody on this journey with me, because I know if I’m going to actually do this, it’s going to be very personal. So nobody even has the right to be in that with me.

00;34;48;06 – 00;35;26;02
Darren
So that was one of the things that I had to crush immediately was the need for social status to I’m a I was I still in an extreme half ass, but that’s what I fight everyday now to not be that that’s just a piece of me. But I knew to drop that that would be the key to accomplishing an impossible task because you can’t be a half ass to get a Guinness World Record right so I knew for me to get that, you don’t have to drop that terrible trait.

00;35;26;10 – 00;35;26;21
Jon
Mm.

00;35;27;09 – 00;36;06;10
Darren
So from there it was on, uh, I feel like people say that they’re changing, but in that moment, I truly changed those aspects of myself. Like, it was like this switch that flipped and the next day I remember going to the gym and I, I didn’t know how I was even going to navigate a pull up world record, so I just started doing hundreds of very, very bad pull ups, you know, jumping up, just kind of holding the resistance all the way down.

00;36;06;10 – 00;36;30;23
Darren
And I figured I would if I could do that hundreds of times over the course of weeks, maybe I could eventually do one pull up. And so for like that first week, I did a thousand very bad pull ups and all that. I still was too scared to tell Miranda what I was chasing because, you know, I was that squirrel.

00;36;31;27 – 00;36;36;22
Darren
I didn’t want to just put another thing in front of her for her to be like, Oh, come on.

00;36;37;00 – 00;36;37;14
Jon
Mm mm.

00;36;39;23 – 00;37;07;07
Darren
But as the weeks went by of me training, I was just like, Wait, this is my path. Now she has to know and I told her, I don’t think she thought too much of it, honestly, because, you know, I hadn’t shown great examples that I could stick with anything yeah. But I just started pulling at that thread, and I’ll never forget it.

00;37;07;24 – 00;37;28;09
Darren
I was doing my big set of pull ups, you know? Oh, do like one day I would do like 100 pull ups. The next day would be 200 polos, the next day, 300 pull ups. It was like one of those 300 pull up days. Yeah. Of the week. So I had to let YouTube go on like podcast and you.

00;37;28;19 – 00;37;29;02
Jon
Excuse me.

00;37;29;12 – 00;37;30;01
Darren
Hey, watch.

00;37;30;01 – 00;37;31;23
Jon
It. I know, man. Getting jumpy.

00;37;32;14 – 00;38;07;01
Darren
But uh, I finish one podcast and another one just started autoplaying and I was like, wow, this guy that Joe Rogan is talking to is incredible. He’s gone through so much is is his childhood is rough. Mine wasn’t rough, but, you know, mine was destructive. And he had this shifting moment like I did so I’m digging this guy from doing my pull ups, you know, to fuel on the fire.

00;38;07;27 – 00;38;26;10
Darren
And then he gets to the point where he talks about how he set out to do a Guinness World Record for Pull-Ups. And I immediately stopped what I was doing, and I got fully engaged with the podcast just that guy was David Goggins, you know?

00;38;27;09 – 00;38;27;18
Jon
Yeah.

00;38;30;06 – 00;39;03;26
Darren
He opened up the world to me because, um, I was very humble about this process that was about to go on. I was like, this dude got the world record for 24 hours of Pull-Ups. If anybody knows how to do this, it’s him. And what’s something that he’s into suffering. Yeah, hard core, because he says it strengthens your mind every time that you push further than you ever thought possible.

00;39;05;25 – 00;39;50;05
Darren
He’s really big into ultra endurance so I was like, Man, I need a piece of that so I immediately set my sights on the ride across Indiana. It’s a 165 mile bike ride that traverses the entire state of Indiana. I had heard about it growing up because my and uncle were avid cyclists, and in fact, my uncle did this ride he was very athletic back in the day, but this was only like he did his right across Indiana just four years before I did.

00;39;50;24 – 00;39;51;03
Jon
Okay.

00;39;52;01 – 00;40;13;14
Darren
So I was just like, Okay, he did it. There’s proof it can be done and I want a piece of it now. So while training for these pull ups and all that, you know, I set my sights on riding a hundred miles for the first time um, I don’t know what was going on with my bike, maybe a bad tire or whatever.

00;40;14;02 – 00;40;23;12
Darren
So I decided to do it on a stationary bike, and luckily I had a a buddy who’s always stuck by my side named Jo Jo Falls, and he lives in Denver now.

00;40;24;29 – 00;40;25;16
Jon
That’s cool.

00;40;25;17 – 00;40;35;10
Darren
Yeah. Um, probably get into that later. How my, and his journey has we’ve we’ve come a long way together.

00;40;35;23 – 00;40;36;07
Jon
Yeah.

00;40;36;18 – 00;40;44;17
Darren
I love that guy. He’s my brother. But I was lucky enough to have him come suffer with me on that bike.

00;40;44;29 – 00;40;46;01
Jon
Good friends. Yeah, man.

00;40;46;15 – 00;40;56;04
Darren
Because I was like, I. I’m going to be doing 100 miles when you come do this. Like, I’ll get there a little later. You know, he ended up doing about 70 miles with me.

00;40;56;13 – 00;41;01;08
Jon
No training he showed up and started pedaling. Yes.

00;41;01;22 – 00;41;13;17
Darren
And that was in December of 2018 rain registration opened rain is the ride across Indian and South Africa. So I’m just going to go by rain and cooler.

00;41;13;29 – 00;41;16;25
Jon
Yeah. Anytime you can plug an acronym right.

00;41;16;29 – 00;41;43;27
Darren
Rain registration opened up January 1st of 2019. Here we are banging out this 100 mile ride on a stationary bike. It’s excruciating by the way it sucks. It’s terrible um because on a real bike you know, you get the coast, you know, you eat several miles just through coasting, you know, on a stationary bike. That’s not the case.

00;41;44;08 – 00;41;45;04
Jon
Just consistent.

00;41;45;04 – 00;42;10;17
Darren
You have to keep pedaling to get the mileage January 1st came without even thinking about it. I just signed up for this 165 mile ride. Right? There’s like validation that my mindset is so much different than what it was just three months before.

00;42;10;25 – 00;42;11;03
Jon
Some.

00;42;11;22 – 00;42;24;26
Darren
Light years different because the old me would have. That’s not for me. That’s for, you know, professional cyclists, you know, whatever. I’m not athletic. You know, I get winded walking up the steps, you know.

00;42;25;22 – 00;42;28;20
Jon
And that’s so true. I still get winded walking up the steps.

00;42;28;20 – 00;42;59;01
Darren
Well, I was, I was I was I held on to a lot of muscle mass because of multiple years of like bodybuilding muscle eats oxygen. I came to learn. So, you know, I was not good at going long distances in the beginning. Um, but here’s where the big shift starts happening. My buddy Joe, it mentioned who told me he talked about he was a rock climber at the time.

00;42;59;07 – 00;43;14;23
Darren
That was his, like, activity of choice. He said that his local gym was doing this challenge from the beginning of January through the end of March, where you, you climb, I believe, a 30 foot.

00;43;15;01 – 00;43;15;18
Jon
Wall.

00;43;16;09 – 00;43;26;21
Darren
165 times in that time period. And that’s a mile. And if you climb the mile, you know, your name goes on the list you get a special shirt, whatever.

00;43;26;28 – 00;43;27;06
Jon
Hmm.

00;43;27;16 – 00;43;39;08
Darren
And he was like, Hey, I’m going out to see my girlfriend who lives in Arizona. I’m doing a bouldering competition out there whenever I get back. We should, like, work on chopping at this thing.

00;43;39;12 – 00;43;39;23
Jon
Yeah.

00;43;41;02 – 00;43;51;05
Darren
Well, he planted that seed and I couldn’t wait while he was in Arizona. I, I. Okay, let me.

00;43;52;00 – 00;44;03;21
Jon
Add a quick question for you. So you did 100 miles on the stationary bike. You registered for rain. Did you then do that race, or is this rock wall thing between registration and the race itself?

00;44;04;06 – 00;44;07;14
Darren
I’m glad that you’re so good at this podcast thing because I don’t get timelines that.

00;44;07;29 – 00;44;09;07
Jon
We’re were just having a conversation and.

00;44;09;15 – 00;44;15;13
Darren
Rain happens in July when it’s the hottest and most humid in Indiana.

00;44;15;13 – 00;44;18;24
Jon
Indiana is gross. It’s gonna say yuck.

00;44;19;00 – 00;44;19;21
Darren
It’s bad.

00;44;20;12 – 00;44;22;08
Jon
Right? Yeah. Okay.

00;44;23;13 – 00;44;44;01
Darren
So here we are. I was trying that, you know, I was doing the Goggins thing, you know, I was strengthening my mind. That’s why I wanted to do this rock climbing challenge. But instead of over the course of days or months, I want to do it in one day because rain is an ultra endurance cycling event.

00;44;44;08 – 00;44;44;17
Jon
Mm.

00;44;45;14 – 00;44;53;00
Darren
I figured rock climbing a mile for a non climber is pretty much an endurance event as well, so I might as well get used to the suffering. Right.

00;44;53;04 – 00;44;53;13
Jon
Mm.

00;44;54;19 – 00;45;06;13
Darren
I remember just sitting in the parking lot outside of that rock climbing gym, like, I I couldn’t even comprehend I was about to go through. All I knew was I have to do this.

00;45;06;17 – 00;45;07;24
Jon
165 times.

00;45;08;13 – 00;45;33;24
Darren
Yes, and I went in there and I just started chipping away at it. People were looking at me, you know, I was hogging the wall, you know, but I didn’t care. I built up so much lactic acid in my hands and my feet that my fingertips, skin and my toes, my the skin on my toes even started peeling off.

00;45;34;16 – 00;45;48;15
Darren
It was a bloody mess. Lactic acid mess. I still have never felt my hands or feet walk up like that. To this day it was terrible, but I accomplished it.

00;45;49;07 – 00;45;50;12
Jon
All one 65.

00;45;50;29 – 00;46;12;01
Darren
And then I did one more because I just wanted to put that nail in the coffin for myself. Yeah, you are capable, and not only are you capable, you can be the guy that maybe pushes it just a little bit more. And that’s the ultimately. Let’s go back to that pull up record. The goal is to be the best.

00;46;12;13 – 00;46;19;21
Darren
I have to be the guy that pushes that one step further. So I was already training for that dude.

00;46;20;04 – 00;46;36;15
Jon
And you transform yourself in you cause to go from I’m not sticking with things and I’m being an imposter too. I’m exceeding one 65 and doing one 66 bloody and everything and it’s done. That must have been in and of itself freeing.

00;46;36;21 – 00;47;02;17
Darren
It was exhilarating. I I never had purpose. I didn’t know what this was. This was excruciating. But it felt like this thing that I was supposed to be doing, this path I was supposed to be on for the first time in my life, I felt like, Wow, I’m in this and there’s going to be good that comes out of it.

00;47;05;02 – 00;47;14;09
Darren
So from there, I have like this kind of transcending moment of, wow, you are capable. You’ve been telling yourself a lie your whole life. What’s your problem?

00;47;14;21 – 00;47;30;29
Jon
What’s really interesting there is there’s this concept of like deadwood where a lot of us carry around a lot of things that aren’t helping us, right? So it’s not helpful. It’s Deadwood, but they don’t want to discard it. And like in the CVS moment, you looked at everything about your life you didn’t like in your I’m discarding this.

00;47;31;16 – 00;47;54;24
Jon
And then this journey we’re walking through is the action that follows through the decision to discard it, right? Yeah. So, like, you climbing that wall, burned off the capability lie, right? You’re like, I’m doing this. You did it, you went further, you did one 66, and then you’re sitting there feeling accomplished, exhilarated and realizing I’ve been living a lie.

00;47;54;25 – 00;47;59;04
Jon
I am capable, you know, in the largest side, and I’m going to keep going.

00;47;59;13 – 00;47;59;26
Darren
Yes.

00;48;00;08 – 00;48;02;10
Jon
So that’s just a fun way of looking at it.

00;48;03;27 – 00;48;30;25
Darren
And you know what? I don’t I don’t want to harp on Goggins too much, but he deserves it. He I, I talked about how I never had these tools and him like this, just he gave me this one key tool that you can grow through suffering. And I suffered there and I absolutely had growth from that because from there, um, shout out to my cousin Matthew.

00;48;31;19 – 00;49;03;19
Darren
This is where our relationship gets better because we were always brothers growing up. But as I went through my hard time, he was starting to get his life together. And, you know, I felt a shift there as hard as it is to talk about but after he started seeing me, you know, get my light, I think, you know, reconnected us and I, he knew what I had registered for because his dad is the one that complete a drain.

00;49;03;29 – 00;49;04;10
Jon
Okay.

00;49;05;09 – 00;49;07;00
Darren
So he’s very familiar with that, right?

00;49;09;06 – 00;49;39;16
Darren
I told him this happens in July. You know, it’s going to be hot. It’s going to be humid. I not only got to be conditioned, I have to be conditioned to suffer. And here’s what I just did on this rock climbing wall. I need to take it further before this ride happens. I need you to basically beat me into a powder and then continue to beat me until I feel I’m ready, you know, to suffer through this.

00;49;40;12 – 00;50;09;08
Darren
That dude would be knocking on my door at 9:00 at night before my 11:00 shift at CVS. And it was always like one memoranda were, you know, have an hour, just personal time. We’d be watching, like, movies whatever. Chillin on the couch and more comfy. Knock, knock, knock. Here’s Santa Claus to give me a new present. You know, hey, we’re jumping in the pool right now.

00;50;09;19 – 00;50;16;11
Darren
The Matthew is 9:00. You know, I have work in a couple of hours. Who said this was going to take a couple of hours?

00;50;20;04 – 00;50;29;04
Darren
This is still kind of the beginning of the year, too. Yeah, the the apartment complex is pool. It just opened, but it was still frigid.

00;50;29;04 – 00;50;30;14
Jon
Yeah, it’s still a bit chillier.

00;50;30;14 – 00;50;55;07
Darren
It’s still a bit chilly. But what’s cool about him is he was so excited for this journey that I was on. It wasn’t just him telling me that I was going to suffer. He did it to him. So we started growing together, actually, but knock, knock, knock. Here I am again. Um, we’re going to go run five miles around this movie theater.

00;50;56;05 – 00;51;25;02
Darren
And then we’re going to go jump in the pool. This time, he just nonstop, just a thorn in my side. But I was very grateful and then rain came I was I. Okay, so it starts in Terre Haute, Indiana, on the far left side of Indiana.

00;51;25;13 – 00;51;29;19
Jon
Okay, so far. So it’s west to east, right yes.

00;51;30;12 – 00;51;53;21
Darren
And my wife and I, we took off for Terre Haute pretty late. Um, so we got to our hotel very early, and then my nerves were not let me sleep I got like two or 3 hours of sleep. Maybe it wasn’t like that deep rem. It was like, you know, you’re dreaming about being scared because you are so scared.

00;51;54;13 – 00;52;15;05
Jon
And all the more because with some of the things you’ve already accomplished just in preparing for the journey, this is almost more of a mental battle. I imagine mhm. Right. Like you’ve set up this thing that in your mind is the proving of already changing and you’re like encouraged by the rock wall climb, but you haven’t accomplished that goal.

00;52;15;05 – 00;52;26;23
Jon
You haven’t started kill that squirrel, right? That ability to follow through. So you’re sitting there afraid of Can I show up Hmm. Is that accurate? Absolutely. Okay.

00;52;27;02 – 00;52;44;24
Darren
Let’s add to the hype behind this race. I don’t remember the exact stats, so I’m going to butcher it a little bit, but this will give you a good idea this was going to be the hardest rain ride in the history of the ride.

00;52;45;26 – 00;52;46;26
Jon
Of course not.

00;52;47;06 – 00;53;10;01
Darren
Exactly. It’s and, you know, later on, I’m sure we’re going to get into it, you know, the kind of the universe works on you a little bit. Yeah. If you’re intentionally living and pushing towards a goal, a dream, the universe will just mess with you. It will test you constantly. And this was one of those tests in my mind, it does.

00;53;10;01 – 00;53;13;10
Jon
Both. Right? I’ll test you and then I’ll reward you occasionally.

00;53;13;16 – 00;53;14;13
Darren
But don’t expect.

00;53;14;14 – 00;53;16;05
Jon
It. Don’t be waiting on it.

00;53;16;05 – 00;53;32;08
Darren
Do not expect it. It’s not the plan. But whenever it does happen, you’re in for the ride of your life. Yeah, the best. But those weather predictions came out I believe. 30% of the registrants dropped.

00;53;32;14 – 00;53;33;10
Jon
Just at the weather.

00;53;33;14 – 00;53;43;08
Darren
Yes. And you know what? I didn’t have Facebook I think it was like and I’m like Miranda’s Facebook or something. And what people were saying on the Rain’s Facebook page.

00;53;43;08 – 00;53;43;19
Jon
Yeah.

00;53;44;05 – 00;53;59;25
Darren
Oh, this is be bad. You know, people asking so many questions about the heat. But what was interesting was in my mind, all I saw was weakness. I’m now in a position where I’m looking at others and being like, your mind is weak.

00;54;00;16 – 00;54;09;11
Jon
You’re what? You’re asking the wrong question. So that was a shift even in of itself. Yes. Yeah. Like, wait a second. This isn’t familiar. Why? What are they doing? Yeah.

00;54;10;10 – 00;54;34;15
Darren
And my mindset was, I don’t care if it’s 120 degrees with this I have to complete this, right? I have to and I and this was my mindset at the time, I was fully willing to go to the hospital of a heat stroke or whatever because I knew if I didn’t follow through with this, what does that mean?

00;54;34;28 – 00;54;43;17
Darren
Because this is just the beginning of this change. I’m just, I need to prove to myself that I can do this because if I don’t, I’m still that half ass.

00;54;43;20 – 00;54;47;16
Jon
Yeah, it’s on the line. Mm mm mm.

00;54;48;25 – 00;55;09;23
Darren
So not many riders that year I show up. It is hot, man. Even in the morning. Terrible. And as we get riding my nerves start getting to me because I’m just like, you know, I feel like a, a lie, you know, in a way, I still feel like the old me.

00;55;09;28 – 00;55;10;06
Jon
Hmm.

00;55;10;11 – 00;55;12;22
Darren
And I’m like, what have you gotten yourself into?

00;55;14;28 – 00;55;32;21
Darren
As I start writing? Um, it’s actually pretty early in the ride. This the interesting part. You ride through this town called Brazil, Indiana. And for anybody that does no Guardian story, that’s where some of the worst stuff of his life happened in his childhood.

00;55;32;27 – 00;55;33;06
Jon
Hmm.

00;55;33;29 – 00;55;41;25
Darren
That’s this place that escapes I rode through that town. I insulin. Remember that from his story.

00;55;42;11 – 00;55;42;25
Jon
I was like.

00;55;43;21 – 00;56;03;00
Darren
You know, this is the crown that Goggins is walked on, and he got out of his mental hell. I will not quit. And then from there again, I flow state whenever I don’t remember much other than extreme heat and humidity. Man in.

00;56;03;01 – 00;56;03;15
Jon
Movement.

00;56;03;15 – 00;56;30;14
Darren
You’re just seeing people drop like flies because they’re so overheated in their minds. Aren’t right. Man. Everybody’s going so slow. It’s going to be hard to make that cut off time, especially for me. You know, I’m not even a wheelchair cyclist. For this I had ever ridden was 100 miles on a stationary bike. Here I am doing 165 in 109 degree heat and 100% humidity.

00;56;30;29 – 00;56;38;14
Jon
Which is absolutely a definition of hell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nuff said on that pain. Mm hmm.

00;56;39;13 – 00;56;40;07
Darren
But, um.

00;56;40;18 – 00;56;42;06
Jon
So you pedaling and pedaling.

00;56;42;24 – 00;56;48;14
Darren
And it was really cool. About halfway across Indian, that’s where her part of my family lived.

00;56;48;19 – 00;56;49;08
Jon
My uncle.

00;56;50;09 – 00;57;16;10
Darren
Um, the one that had it done rain, um, him, my aunt, my mom, some of my cousins, they were there to greet me, basically the halfway mark. And it was such a surreal moment for me because at one point they looked at me, I, they never told me, but I know that they looked at me was like, oh, that’s too bad.

00;57;17;26 – 00;57;33;10
Darren
He’s going down this rough path, you know? He’s not making anything about himself, too. Now, I’m one of the few that’s chosen to make it to this point and just look at pride on, like, my uncle’s face.

00;57;35;02 – 00;57;35;29
Jon
It’s strong, man.

00;57;36;27 – 00;57;50;17
Darren
That everything to me and my mom was being a great mom, and she was, like, so concerned. She wanted me to quit.

00;57;51;27 – 00;57;53;00
Jon
Not great if.

00;57;53;00 – 00;57;55;28
Darren
You’re, like, trying to do something incredibly hard.

00;57;55;28 – 00;57;57;14
Jon
But appreciate it in hindsight.

00;57;59;07 – 00;58;06;15
Darren
But then my uncle even asked me, you know, you think you’re going to continue? I said, yes, absolutely. And then I took off.

00;58;06;21 – 00;58;07;01
Jon
Yeah.

00;58;08;04 – 00;58;15;13
Darren
And then from there, it’s like my mentality was building. As people started dropping, I got stronger in my mind.

00;58;16;16 – 00;58;40;23
Jon
When it’s real quick, too. It’s really interesting because one of the things I think is really powerful about walking through this and I’m grateful that you’re willing to to share who can talk about it is when you look at someone like Goggins, you know, in his upbringing, like there are some serious bad stuff going on there. Right. And I think that there are so many of us who get trapped into the exact type of hell you’re describing.

00;58;41;06 – 00;59;04;23
Jon
There’s a lot of people who have Goggins experiences, right? Terrible upbringing, violence, all that. There’s a lot more who gets suffocated and snuffed out in the type of upbringing that you’re describing. Right. There’s a lot of people right now that are still in their three year period of CVS and when you look at all these people who are willing to share, they they deserve to share it.

00;59;04;26 – 00;59;29;08
Jon
So none of this is a discredit to them. However, it is rare to find someone who is willing to be as honest about the experiences and how the traps that happen continue to cycle down through hopelessness to this thing where it’s like, Yeah, I did have a great support system. I had people like me, I had all these things, and yet I went further into my own hell while I tried to live this lie.

00;59;29;09 – 00;59;49;09
Jon
Right. And then you continue through. Now we’re transcending, we’re climbing, and you see your family and everyone may not see it, but you always see the facial expression shift from, in this case, your brother to you. You always could feel that difference. So to see that, like they’re looking at you for the first time in a new way.

00;59;49;23 – 00;59;50;18
Jon
Holy moly.

00;59;53;28 – 01;00;42;05
Darren
That was the. Okay, so I before I see what I was about to say, I want to say I got to smile I believe it was like one 40 or something like that. And people I started hearing and stories of people getting very, very sick at this point because they were enduring for so long. And that started creeping into my mind for the first time that I’m at that point to and I had this big breakdown and it was the cool thing was with this ride, you’re allowed to have a crew, you know, bringing you here so far into the ride and give you supplies and all that.

01;00;42;09 – 01;00;48;26
Darren
My crew was Miranda, so that was also a big thing that helped me along this journey.

01;00;49;04 – 01;00;50;25
Jon
I had no to yes.

01;00;51;21 – 01;01;20;01
Darren
Because now she’s seeing me not be the squirrel anymore. But for a moment, everybody else’s weakness crept in and I was allowed to feel my own weakness. And I had a complete breakdown. I got off my bike and I sat in her car in the air conditioning just crying because I was just, I can’t do this. There’s no way I can do this.

01;01;22;08 – 01;01;59;29
Darren
But I have to do this. And that’s why I’m crying, because I can’t even imagine to endure this any longer. And she give me some of my first bouts of tough love because she was a prior athlete. Now, at this point, I think she was still an athlete. I can’t remember for college she essentially kicked me out of the car and from that moment on, that’s when I started really repeating to myself, I have to do this so if I get hospitalized, so be it.

01;02;01;20 – 01;02;08;18
Darren
At least, you know, if I died of heat exhaustion, I was on a path and I was relentless.

01;02;09;04 – 01;02;11;25
Jon
You don’t choose the out. Yes. You chose to endure.

01;02;11;25 – 01;02;26;00
Darren
And was like just thinking like that shifted my mindset from my speed picked up. I got that confidence in that confidence. Let me see who I truly was, because that was at my most broken down.

01;02;26;12 – 01;02;29;18
Jon
So you got a glimpse of who you could really be and you were nice.

01;02;31;10 – 01;02;50;10
Darren
I was pushing the lies to the side and, uh, I rode in the Richmond, Indiana, and tears rolling down my eyes for probably the moment that I saw the Richmond sign me in tears.

01;02;50;29 – 01;02;52;20
Jon
Because, you know, you’re there.

01;02;52;25 – 01;03;19;20
Darren
I did it and I knew my family that met me halfway. They drove the Richmond my my good, not the whole family, but a big piece of my family was there to see this moment that was the beginning of this long journey that I was about to go on. That was the one thing that I needed to be like I’m in.

01;03;20;28 – 01;03;25;10
Darren
I’m not an imposter at all.

01;03;27;16 – 01;03;49;29
Jon
What I love. So that’s your first taste of hope, right? And it’s so interesting because you say you finish that race after six plus months of training because you were training before you even knew about the race. She six or nine months of beginning to just hammer and yourself going into the forge, upping the heat, shaving off the crab and hammer yourself into what you want to be.

01;03;50;22 – 01;04;11;05
Jon
So you’re over half a year in and you finish the race. You set out to finish your you know, that first Ultra during school, you’ve already done that mile up the climb. Plus, yeah, you done your 400 miles on the stationary. You’ve accomplished all these things. You’re you’re transforming already and it’s that moment when you finish that race after all those months of training that your journey starting.

01;04;11;11 – 01;04;20;23
Jon
Yes I think there’s something powerful there not to walk past too quickly yeah. Because it was nine months of just working to get to base camp.

01;04;20;23 – 01;04;21;02
Darren
Yeah.

01;04;21;29 – 01;04;23;22
Jon
Yeah just get started.

01;04;24;01 – 01;04;36;01
Darren
I also need to point out I you know it it seems like what I’m describing is I was trying to finally get the validation from my family.

01;04;36;08 – 01;04;36;17
Jon
I’m.

01;04;37;01 – 01;04;47;23
Darren
Actually in CVS. I dropped all of that to I wanted them to be proud of me, of course. But that was not my priority.

01;04;48;08 – 01;04;48;12
Jon
Know.

01;04;48;25 – 01;04;52;29
Darren
But what was cool about that rain ride? It was a side effect.

01;04;53;17 – 01;04;54;06
Jon
As a gift.

01;04;54;14 – 01;05;20;26
Darren
It was a gift because that was the only race that I’ve done that a big part of my family was there. The seed and I’m so glad that it was that first big one because, you know, I got the I got the luxury of seeing how they looked at me in that moment. And I already felt a certain way about myself from finishing that.

01;05;21;02 – 01;05;31;06
Darren
So that was the cherry on top. And I was just like, this is my path and I will pursue it. With excellence or try to, you know.

01;05;31;09 – 01;05;44;00
Jon
Yeah. So you finish that, you get the benefit, the added benefits, the unexpected treat, right? Yeah. Of the family seeing the way, seeing that shift.

01;05;46;01 – 01;05;46;10
Darren
I.

01;05;46;28 – 01;05;56;21
Jon
Shot across the bow, right? People, I notice Miranda is like, wait a second, something’s changing. Yeah. And the journey starts in what is what? Where do you want to go from there? What are you thinking?

01;05;57;19 – 01;06;08;26
Darren
Well, think it’s important to know. This is the moment that I truly started building my toolbox. My mental toolbox, those tools I didn’t necessarily grow up.

01;06;08;26 – 01;06;09;06
Jon
With.

01;06;10;06 – 01;06;26;15
Darren
Who I’m finding them now. I big lesson was that moment that I wanted to quit. I didn’t allow myself to because I didn’t have an option to use this darkness again.

01;06;26;22 – 01;06;29;13
Jon
Yeah, it’s either this or the other side of CVS.

01;06;29;15 – 01;07;01;15
Darren
So choice painful is that made my mindset, you know, you have to get back out there. No choice. That’s like night. It almost doesn’t even feel like volunteer suffering anymore. Voluntary suffering it feels like you’re being forced. And but that allowed me to switch the mindset after that point. And then I started going my fastest pace of the race, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01;07;01;15 – 01;07;02;28
Jon
It’s interesting. At the end.

01;07;02;28 – 01;07;07;25
Darren
I was tapped out, and here I am getting better at the end.

01;07;08;16 – 01;07;09;16
Jon
Yeah. Oh, man.

01;07;11;28 – 01;07;18;18
Darren
Of course. It’s another Goggins lesson, you know, when you think you’re at 40% or 100%, you’re only at, like, 40%.

01;07;18;23 – 01;07;19;02
Jon
Hmm.

01;07;20;10 – 01;07;21;03
Darren
Very true.

01;07;24;08 – 01;07;57;25
Darren
Um, yeah, from there I knew because, uh, I was starting to acquire all those tools to help me along this journey to getting that pull up record. I was like, Man, what my takeaways from Rain were so much more significant than that climb. I better keep on this path, but to keep learning, I think I have to make the challenges harder or else, you know, why am I even going to wind up Dante?

01;07;58;12 – 01;08;01;17
Darren
I bought my first pair of running shoes after that race.

01;08;05;00 – 01;08;18;21
Darren
Because, you know, I learned over those months about ultra endurance I wanted to run an ultra. And by the end of the year.

01;08;20;23 – 01;08;21;24
Jon
And to find an ultra.

01;08;22;13 – 01;08;39;10
Darren
Fresh and ultra technically is any distance past the traditional marathon of 26.2 miles. Okay. So when I believe it’s like 30 miles is basically the start of ultra.

01;08;39;17 – 01;08;40;13
Jon
You know, like a 50 game.

01;08;40;15 – 01;08;47;14
Darren
But what’s amazing about Ultra is that it could be a thousand miles it never ends.

01;08;47;22 – 01;08;48;02
Jon
Yeah.

01;08;49;20 – 01;09;13;12
Darren
But I just wanted to get into the Ultra territory because let’s go back to the past a little bit, dude, I failed every test and P.E. as well. And one of those things was the time Two Mile, I walk that thing did I never ran a mile in my life. I just completed Rain. I know what I can push myself to do now.

01;09;14;03 – 01;09;51;24
Darren
So my first pair of running shoes and man, the, the first objective was running a half marathon and the pursuit of that took everything I think that was almost harder than the rain ride. I kept getting injured like almost immediately. I fractured the side of my foot and I was like out of running for a while. But then as soon as it healed and I could walk again in a straight line, I, uh, I just started hammering at, you know, that half marathon I did.

01;09;51;27 – 01;09;55;21
Darren
I six miles felt like a hundred.

01;09;55;25 – 01;09;57;29
Jon
Yeah. It’s amazing.

01;09;58;19 – 01;10;28;27
Darren
But I had to keep going back and then I finally did run a half marathon after so many times of failing. It’s insane how many times I failed so from there, what’s the next objective? I’m going to run a marathon and I, uh, I. I found the Indianapolis Marathon man.

01;10;31;11 – 01;10;46;20
Darren
In pursuit of that. I need, man, I’m just jumping all over this timeline. Um, there was another big Indian ride known as the hill we hundred. It’s the oldest ride. A bike ride in Indiana.

01;10;46;25 – 01;10;47;05
Jon
Okay.

01;10;50;10 – 01;11;00;27
Darren
I convinced, um, right after my wedding, I convinced my cousin Matthew and his brother Jacob to do that ride with me. And guess what? That weather forecast was.

01;11;01;13 – 01;11;02;24
Jon
Was a cold. Yes.

01;11;04;14 – 01;11;31;05
Darren
Good at this. 100% rain. 100% of the day freezing temps. And guess what? You’re on a road bike and whenever you get 15 to 20 miles per hour oh that wind is brisk. So, uh, with my new mindset, I was all right, you guys do this. I’m going to do it without any thermal gear.

01;11;35;04 – 01;11;36;19
Jon
And now that you.

01;11;39;22 – 01;11;58;09
Darren
I think I’m forever traumatized of the cold, actually, because of that ride, because my cousin, my youngest cousin, Jacob, um, he, he had never done a significant bike ride like that, so, I mean, wow. But he was starting to vibe off of this mentality as well.

01;11;58;15 – 01;11;58;23
Jon
Okay.

01;11;59;10 – 01;12;02;13
Darren
To see, he wanted it. He went a piece of it, right?

01;12;04;18 – 01;12;29;29
Darren
But I said, if you’re going because you’re not going to be as good as me, but if you’re going to endure these elements, I’m going to do them with you. We were in that those conditions for 8 hours. Also, there were a lot of people registered for this ride. In just like rain. Whenever they saw the weather prediction, almost everybody dropped.

01;12;30;09 – 01;12;31;18
Jon
So it was more than 30.

01;12;31;24 – 01;13;07;05
Darren
Yes, it was I, I saw very few people at the start of that. In fact, it was so bad that they kind of did staggered starts, you know, just start whenever you want. And I, we didn’t ride with anybody else in the beginning. There were so few people but, uh, here we are riding pretty slow because my cousin Jacob was a little inexperienced and I’m just, I can feel the muscles around my spine trembling because I’m so cold it got pretty inhumane how cold it was, actually.

01;13;08;07 – 01;13;30;04
Darren
But just like the rain ride, I couldn’t let myself quit because what does that mean? Essentially, I can’t quit anything until I get that pull up record. So I remember we get to one of these aid stations where they’re handing out donuts and all that, and I remember that there was, like, radiating he offered like this miniature donut.

01;13;30;14 – 01;13;35;20
Darren
I literally was soaking that in. That’s how cold I was. I was getting my heat from a donut.

01;13;37;23 – 01;13;40;02
Jon
Just eating anything you can. Yeah.

01;13;40;03 – 01;14;10;10
Darren
Yeah. And then after that, we get to pretty much the halfway point. And we were at this aid station, and this when the staff starts showing concern over me like, um, are you okay? So I looked very pale and I was shivering uncontrollably in my spine, physically hurt from the muscles tense to me. And basically I was moving into, like, probably stage one hypothermia in that.

01;14;10;10 – 01;14;10;18
Darren
Right.

01;14;10;27 – 01;14;12;00
Jon
Hmm. Um.

01;14;13;13 – 01;14;19;17
Darren
But we finish, we finished. So today I had a complete breakdown at that one as well.

01;14;19;19 – 01;14;20;00
Jon
Yeah.

01;14;20;24 – 01;14;37;13
Darren
During that aid station where they were showing concern because at that point I started to believe what they were saying and just like rain, they overcome that. And then again, I overcome it and I pull it off.

01;14;39;13 – 01;14;40;07
Jon
Boom round to.

01;14;40;12 – 01;14;46;09
Darren
That tool. They acquired it. Rain showed itself to be effective in this one, too, so it must be legit.

01;14;46;22 – 01;14;47;24
Jon
Yeah. Heat now.

01;14;47;24 – 01;14;52;18
Darren
Cold yeah. One month later, it’s marathon time.

01;14;53;13 – 01;14;56;13
Jon
And now this is the marathon you mentioned. What was the name of it?

01;14;56;13 – 01;14;57;15
Darren
The Indianapolis.

01;14;57;16 – 01;14;58;08
Jon
The Indianapolis.

01;14;58;14 – 01;15;04;24
Darren
Marathon. The monumental marathon. My cousin Jacob, the one that did the holy hundred, the youngest cousin, he wanted.

01;15;04;24 – 01;15;05;06
Jon
More.

01;15;06;08 – 01;15;07;26
Darren
So he went on that journey with me.

01;15;10;21 – 01;15;43;16
Darren
And we we are very, very locked up during that race. Yes. We were stretching like every 10 minutes after probably the 15 mile mark. It was bad. But whenever we got to around mile 20, he was doing so incredibly bad. But I felt a little energized and you know, I knew if he was going to make it, he probably needed to be alone in his mind to figure things out.

01;15;43;22 – 01;16;07;03
Darren
So I was just like, Hey, if we’re going to do this we need to split up and that allowed me to just I fully embrace that true potential that I saw. Rain and the hilly hundred I was just like, I’m going from this moment on these last six miles, not one person is going to pass me. I will not let it happen.

01;16;09;08 – 01;16;25;18
Darren
So I’m just getting more and more sought, but I’m picking up pace. I saw people I think I cried for about five miles actually, because the pain was so immense. And also it was tears of me realizing where I was in life because Thibs is still in my head.

01;16;25;23 – 01;16;28;03
Jon
Yeah. The redemption of it. Yes. Yeah.

01;16;29;14 – 01;16;36;22
Darren
It was optional, but I finish in a couple of my cousins were there to see it happen.

01;16;36;28 – 01;16;39;08
Jon
Did you guys finish he did get.

01;16;39;25 – 01;16;46;05
Darren
In the time frame. You know, he was the champion because he basically had like one leg working for him.

01;16;48;23 – 01;16;56;03
Darren
I think it’s important to know at this point, this is roughly around the time that I kick CVS to the curb.

01;16;56;10 – 01;16;59;29
Jon
Nice. With the completion of the Appalachian Marathon. I’m in.

01;17;00;22 – 01;17;23;11
Darren
Indianapolis. I believe it happened a little bit before that, probably around the hilly time that freezing cold bike race. But that was the moment that I was just like, why am I still holding on to a piece of this mediocrity? Nothing against anybody that works at CVS. That was just my own mental hell. You’re awesome. Why am I still partly in this hell?

01;17;23;12 – 01;17;23;23
Jon
Yeah.

01;17;23;28 – 01;17;25;18
Darren
Why is my foot still in there?

01;17;26;00 – 01;17;26;08
Jon
Hmm?

01;17;27;10 – 01;17;54;28
Darren
I don’t belong here, but I also don’t have a college degree, so I’m not going to try to go and work for Nasser anything. But I got on indeed, and I was like, what is the hardest thing that I can find that doesn’t require a degree? And at the time, I saw an ad for Spectrum Internet and cable, it’s just like, expand it.

01;17;54;28 – 01;17;55;20
Darren
You basically.

01;17;55;25 – 01;17;56;05
Jon
Okay.

01;17;57;02 – 01;18;05;09
Darren
I don’t know anything about that world. It seems like a perfect arena to showcase my mindset. My new one.

01;18;05;15 – 01;18;07;25
Jon
I’m fresh start.

01;18;09;24 – 01;18;31;11
Darren
I remember I remember the interview too, because I gave up my glimpse of what I’ve been telling you and the dude was just kind of speechless in a way, and I got my opportunity to work there, and they put you through this pretty intensive training for, you know, I don’t know, maybe a month. I don’t know. And it was my goal.

01;18;31;15 – 01;18;47;05
Darren
I’m I’m going to stand out. I’m going to essentially destroy all my competition. I’m going to be the rock star of this class because in a way, I’m beating down an old demon of never being good in the classroom.

01;18;47;24 – 01;18;48;08
Jon
Okay.

01;18;49;05 – 01;19;10;01
Darren
Oh, yeah. So here I was showing up to work, you know, before everybody else, even my instructor I had this this one other guy named Trevor, he eventually became my friend. He was the only other guy that was pushing remotely hard, like me.

01;19;12;21 – 01;19;41;23
Darren
And I was just like, and I’m going to take him out uh, so I just started excelling and all the things that they put us through. Kind of like a star example. Trevor is right on my feet. The whole time but after, you know, we finished training the the competitive side dropped him, and then he wanted to come into my world.

01;19;42;28 – 01;19;52;06
Darren
And then we ended up started. We started training together, and he dabbled in some, like, rock marches with me and stuff like that because he was an army reserve.

01;19;52;21 – 01;19;53;01
Jon
Okay.

01;19;53;08 – 01;19;57;21
Darren
So he actually had that idea. So I was like, Let’s start doing it.

01;19;58;11 – 01;19;58;29
Jon
Let’s go.

01;19;59;17 – 01;20;26;19
Darren
And, you know, our relationship grew from there, but it was cool that I was able to take on very stiff competition like him because he already had discipline and all this stuff. So it was really fun going head to head with that. But besides, you know, seeing that this new mentality shift in the work force was also around the same time that I developed my Second Life dream.

01;20;27;13 – 01;20;27;23
Jon
Okay.

01;20;28;07 – 01;20;42;21
Darren
I had just done two of Indiana’s hardest cycling events. I had just done their monumental marathon. Seems like maybe I should try to go for a triathlon.

01;20;43;07 – 01;20;43;18
Jon
Okay.

01;20;45;05 – 01;21;11;11
Darren
So I set my sights on one of the hardest triathlons in the world, the Ultraman World Championships and is a 320 mile triathlon that goes around the entire perimeter of the Big Island of Hawaii. I still haven’t done it, but that was like the moment I am. Mark, that is a life dream.

01;21;11;23 – 01;21;12;05
Jon
Okay.

01;21;13;04 – 01;21;18;16
Darren
So now I’m up to two life dreams. It’s crazy how just following this thread, pulling out.

01;21;18;16 – 01;21;18;21
Jon
It.

01;21;19;12 – 01;21;22;18
Darren
Has unlocked more more purpose for me.

01;21;25;24 – 01;21;54;05
Darren
But, uh, let’s push the Ultraman stuff to the side. Um, I did complete that marathon. I’m officially in the running for an ultra prerequisite. Complete. Yes. So I found one. The Lookout Mountain 50 miler in Tennessee. I was pumped, and I believe some people around me were saying, uh, I don’t know because, you know, my marathon was the Indianapolis marathon.

01;21;54;15 – 01;22;00;03
Darren
People go there, specifically the set pass because it is so incredibly flat, low elevation.

01;22;01;01 – 01;22;02;11
Jon
So it’s one of the easier ones.

01;22;02;14 – 01;22;15;09
Darren
Yes. So now saying one month after this moment, I’m going to double this distance. But on Lookout Mountain in Chattanooga, Tennessee, quite a bit different. Race two.

01;22;16;26 – 01;22;17;24
Jon
Oh, it’s Charles. Well.

01;22;18;03 – 01;22;30;16
Darren
Yeah. Mm hmm. Um, I don’t want to run you through step by step or detailed. Yeah, every single race, but I think this one’s very important. Okay. My wife did it with me.

01;22;30;26 – 01;22;31;11
Jon
Oh, cool.

01;22;31;19 – 01;22;56;07
Darren
She did the 18 mile, and I did the 50. But we we start, and, you know, she’s coming off this long history of running, so she separates herself from me, focuses on her own race. And, you know, I’m still trying to get through this mental barrier of, oh, my God, you said you were going to run water, and here you are.

01;22;56;27 – 01;22;57;10
Jon
You can’t.

01;22;57;10 – 01;22;57;22
Darren
Quit.

01;22;58;00 – 01;22;59;01
Jon
And you’re stuck.

01;22;59;01 – 01;23;30;13
Darren
You are stuck. Um, I got six miles in and the Lookout Mountain races, a lot of single track on the side of the mountain. There are lots of drop offs, like scary, like a hundred foot falls. And, you know, I still didn’t know. I didn’t know anything about ultra um, really. So I. I ran in my same shoes. I ran the, the road racing.

01;23;31;22 – 01;24;04;21
Darren
I didn’t have a pair of trail shoes. And six miles in, I was talking to this dude that was in front of me. You were just talking a bunch of mindset stuff when I slide off the side of this drop off slide right off the track. Luckily, it was like a six foot drop, but I fall in such a way that my right the side of my right thigh lands directly on this jagged log and it completely cuts up my leg.

01;24;04;21 – 01;24;08;27
Darren
I’ll have to show you a picture of it is gnarly. It’s just.

01;24;08;27 – 01;24;09;21
Jon
I’m. Yeah.

01;24;09;29 – 01;24;11;03
Darren
Bathed in blood.

01;24;11;13 – 01;24;14;08
Jon
Here just now. You’re shredded six miles on my mark.

01;24;16;17 – 01;24;27;05
Darren
That wasn’t too painful. What was painful was it did this it triggered my knee in such a way that I can no longer run downhill without immense pain behind my right knee.

01;24;27;10 – 01;24;27;18
Jon
Hmm.

01;24;29;23 – 01;24;35;21
Darren
I am six miles in to a 50 mile ultramarathon in the mountains. There’s a lot of up and down. Yeah.

01;24;36;03 – 01;24;37;09
Jon
It’s a lot of downhill running.

01;24;37;28 – 01;25;12;12
Darren
Yeah, here was my first true test of overcoming insane adversity. Because now the race has physically hurt me. Mm but I keep going. But eventually, I have to resort to ibuprofen. And you know what? I was pretty done with whenever it came to ibuprofen to because I didn’t know that if it took too much, it’s dangerous.

01;25;15;07 – 01;25;27;12
Darren
So I probably hurt my knee about 2 hours then. And from that moment forward for the next 11 hours, I popped to an hour. Do the math.

01;25;27;21 – 01;25;32;17
Jon
You know, that exceeds the recommendation by, like, fourfold. Mm hmm. Yeah.

01;25;33;28 – 01;25;55;03
Darren
I get to 30 miles. My cousin Jacob, the one that hit 100 in the marathon with me, he wasn’t running on Ultra, but he wanted to volunteer so he was at the 30 mile aid station. I see him and he thinks I’m doing good. I do not think I’m doing good, man. My knee hurts but the ibuprofen is keeping it at bay.

01;25;56;09 – 01;26;20;13
Darren
But then whenever you leave the 30 mile aid station, it does this like big loop that comes back to that same aid station and you start running the course, you know, in this opposite direction. But while I was out there on that loop, I everything started spinning. I was like on the borderline blacking out and I laid down the trail off.

01;26;20;27 – 01;26;22;29
Darren
I didn’t even know what I was thinking anymore.

01;26;25;01 – 01;26;53;02
Darren
And I stand up and I was so confused and really what it was, it was the ibuprofen getting to me. It was really bad for me. Going hard on my kidneys, all that stuff. So I looked behind way down the mountain and it’s this dude. I later became his friend, older gentleman named Jack Sayles and I was like, Hey, are we, like, going to miss cut off?

01;26;53;19 – 01;27;15;18
Darren
I feel like we’re on the wrong course, like an alternate course where, you know, they’re they direct us on this thing that is going to lead us back to the start because we didn’t make cut off things. Like what? I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Just keep running there’s where I learned don’t try to do math in the middle of a hard challenge like that.

01;27;15;19 – 01;27;37;08
Darren
I’m suffering because you’re not thinking clearly. And, you know, I really was bad off because of the ibuprofen. But, you know, I fight through that and I get back to Jake and I’m like, I am in bad shape. Right now. And then he is awesome because he’s just like my my cousin Matthew who tortured me. You, you to rain.

01;27;37;24 – 01;27;39;29
Darren
He gave me that tough shit pill basically.

01;27;42;09 – 01;27;44;06
Jon
And what mile you’re at when you make it back to him.

01;27;44;13 – 01;27;45;19
Darren
You know, it was like 37.

01;27;45;21 – 01;27;50;02
Jon
Okay, so because of my loop. Yes. You’re in the homestretch now. Yes. 30 miles.

01;27;50;02 – 01;27;58;13
Darren
But because of all of my complications on that little loop back to that aid station, I am now in jeopardy of missing cut off.

01;27;58;21 – 01;27;59;00
Jon
Okay.

01;28;01;20 – 01;28;26;19
Darren
I started, I left the aid station because, you know, I have to do something. And, uh, I found three other runners doing my same pace, so I linked up with them and for the first time in this kind of, this journey, kind of, it was more than just me. I developed this little, little team or person squad and we were all in a similar situation.

01;28;27;28 – 01;28;33;03
Darren
If we don’t do something, if we don’t act, we are all going to fail.

01;28;35;09 – 01;28;58;07
Darren
So let’s run this last half marathon faster than the previous miles. Yeah, and we kicked it in. I don’t, I, I don’t know how I pushed through for that long. It felt like I was a red lining. The entire half marathon and at this point, it was dark. By the way, I didn’t even have a headlamp going into that race.

01;28;58;07 – 01;29;06;10
Darren
Luckily, that one of those guys that I went up with, he had to say, Yeah, yeah, I had vision at this point.

01;29;07;14 – 01;29;14;22
Jon
Um, did the amount of learning. Yes, like ibuprofen headlamps. So choose yeah. Not to mention the challenge of.

01;29;14;22 – 01;29;22;18
Darren
You learn everything else, failure and stupidity. Um, you would think that would be common sense, but I, I didn’t think of it.

01;29;25;06 – 01;29;49;13
Darren
That’s when I learned a new lesson. Surround yourself with other like minded individuals and they will push you to the next level. We just, I chose to be in the back of the pack and we are running through the night stubbing our toes on every single rock, almost every single one of my toes after that race was black because there are so many rock obstacles that you just kick.

01;29;49;22 – 01;29;50;01
Jon
Um.

01;29;50;22 – 01;30;08;04
Darren
But anyway, um, I was in the back, and I was yelling at the dude in the front. His name was Brandon, him and his wife. And then this other dude that was 100 mile or so. He had experience. Posizione, um, don’t you slow down. I knew that they had a daughter. I was like, What are you trying to represent for them?

01;30;08;07 – 01;30;15;08
Darren
For her, you know, who you trying to be? It was like I was the train conductor, kind of.

01;30;15;15 – 01;30;15;26
Jon
Hmm.

01;30;16;17 – 01;30;22;27
Darren
And we all ran our fastest half marathon at the very end, and we finished less than an hour before they cut off.

01;30;23;24 – 01;30;25;04
Jon
Came back some time to you then?

01;30;25;23 – 01;30;28;08
Darren
Yes. And there it was.

01;30;30;09 – 01;30;40;04
Darren
In a six month time period. I ran my first ultra the same year that I ran my first one mile.

01;30;41;28 – 01;30;46;16
Jon
The same half year. You run your first one? My good man.

01;30;46;23 – 01;30;56;00
Darren
After that, I reflected on that a lot because you look on Google or anything like that and people say you need like this crazy ramp up and stuff like that.

01;30;56;04 – 01;30;56;13
Jon
Mhm.

01;30;57;15 – 01;31;07;21
Darren
Um, not necessarily um, and thank goodness I, I stuck through and did that.

01;31;08;00 – 01;31;18;13
Jon
Did you stop taking did you do the ibuprofen the rest of the race. So it wasn’t until well after the race that you realized you’ve dodged some bullets. They’re not poisoning yourself. You know.

01;31;18;13 – 01;31;20;27
Darren
I was like puking out the window going down the mountain.

01;31;20;28 – 01;31;21;10
Jon
Yeah.

01;31;21;17 – 01;31;23;03
Darren
I felt so bad.

01;31;23;11 – 01;31;24;03
Jon
That’s dangerous.

01;31;24;23 – 01;31;30;18
Darren
So I was like puking and crying because crying because again, I’m realizing where I’m at in life.

01;31;30;28 – 01;31;32;21
Jon
Mhm. Yeah. It’s positive.

01;31;33;02 – 01;32;10;08
Darren
My, my wife just saw me become an ultramarathon. Yeah. My cousin, that’s one. I’m starting to slip into that next level. And from there I was like, well, it’s progression. What do I do next? And through all my research, I found this one very obscure race and, uh, it’s notorious. And this is like a quote from the race director is notorious for horrible weather, consistent hills and the allure to discontinue Sounded great.

01;32;11;05 – 01;32;11;23
Darren
Yeah, that’s my.

01;32;11;23 – 01;32;12;08
Jon
Cup of tea.

01;32;12;08 – 01;32;40;19
Darren
Handy. It’s a 24 hour ultra. It’s not just like a distance event, it’s how many five mile loops through the mountains can you do in 24 hours? I was like, It’s perfect. So I believe Lookout Mountain happened on December 20, first of 20, 19 um, the black till run is that run that I was just talking about. It happens.

01;32;41;12 – 01;32;50;20
Darren
January 31st of 20, 20. We’re looking at about around a month to get ready.

01;32;50;27 – 01;32;51;05
Jon
Mm.

01;32;51;18 – 01;32;52;24
Darren
Just slightly over a month.

01;32;53;06 – 01;32;57;24
Jon
That’s about your M.O. thus far for looking at what we’ve shared. So you have a month for this one. Yeah.

01;32;57;24 – 01;33;15;12
Darren
But I just did this Ultra and it’s, you know, December 21st, you know, I still have a solid week or so before the end of this year. Yeah. What can I do to just end the year strong. I had that second life dream in my mind of Ultraman. I can’t do Ultraman unless I do like an Iron Man first.

01;33;15;12 – 01;33;15;22
Darren
Right.

01;33;15;23 – 01;33;25;01
Jon
Mm. So you’re trying to plug in Iron Man between the ultra you just ran for. Look at Mount and your first 24 hour race.

01;33;25;08 – 01;33;25;19
Darren
Yes.

01;33;26;02 – 01;33;28;07
Jon
The 24 hour edition of the block to run.

01;33;28;07 – 01;33;31;05
Darren
Yeah. Okay. Eight days after Lookout Mountain.

01;33;31;06 – 01;33;32;15
Jon
Okay. So just plug it in there.

01;33;32;15 – 01;33;34;10
Darren
Yeah. So on December 29th.

01;33;34;16 – 01;33;35;25
Jon
Just to make sure you’re on the same page.

01;33;36;05 – 01;33;36;27
Darren
To some between.

01;33;37;03 – 01;33;45;05
Jon
50 miles. Iron Man. Just plugging into the. You’re strong you’re now transformed. So yeah. Whether you feel it or not.

01;33;45;05 – 01;33;47;20
Darren
The mindset is radically different. Yeah.

01;33;47;25 – 01;33;50;04
Jon
And then you have a 24 hour, so. Yeah. Iron Man.

01;33;50;16 – 01;33;53;00
Darren
Yeah. And then this is where is this?

01;33;53;00 – 01;33;53;12
Jon
The Iron.

01;33;53;12 – 01;33;58;24
Darren
Man? This is the Iron Man. Okay. This is where my wife takes another shift.

01;33;59;04 – 01;34;00;23
Jon
Yeah. What’s that shift?

01;34;02;01 – 01;34;25;18
Darren
So I wanted to do this Iron Man. But, you know, also, I think the weather had the potential of going sideways, so I considered doing it all indoors, going to the gym, you know, swimming the the miles required, then jumping on a stationary bike, then, you know, going outside and just running the marathon.

01;34;25;24 – 01;34;26;04
Jon
Mhm.

01;34;26;17 – 01;34;45;24
Darren
Um, but I woke up and I told Miranda, you know, I’m kind of uninspired by that. I think, you know, there’s a good chance that the weather will be good enough for me to do this whole thing. Outside my house, you know, the pool. So I decided to do it outside. So I go to my gym.

01;34;46;25 – 01;34;50;05
Jon
So this isn’t an official Ironman you’re just going to hit the requirements on your own.

01;34;50;10 – 01;35;02;25
Darren
It was around this time. Also, I didn’t care about accolades or awards or anything, man. I just had to push. And this late in the year, there’s, there’s no events going on besides, dude, iron man’s costs. Like a grand.

01;35;03;03 – 01;35;03;13
Jon
Delay.

01;35;03;20 – 01;35;27;19
Darren
Yeah, okay. I don’t need $1,000 race to push myself at this point. So I was choosing to do it myself. So I go to the gym, do my swimming, or that went great because I. I never learned how to truly swim either. So it was pretty awesome to be able to swim that amount of miles. Yeah. And I did great.

01;35;28;10 – 01;35;34;12
Darren
Then I went outside, grab my bike out of the car, hopped on it, and started following a random bike route.

01;35;36;18 – 01;35;52;18
Darren
And eventually uh, maybe 25 miles into that ride, the route turned me onto an old highway, Indiana 68. And it’s not uncommon to ride on old highways for cyclists. It happens all the time. You know the.

01;35;52;18 – 01;35;54;04
Jon
Roads outside here, man. Yeah.

01;35;54;14 – 01;36;01;28
Darren
Exactly. Like this road out here. Um, just be cautious don’t be an asshole to the drivers, and you’ll be all right.

01;36;04;08 – 01;36;04;29
Darren
That’s what I thought.

01;36;07;04 – 01;36;13;02
Darren
Around 30 miles, I heard a car coming because I don’t ride with music for that reason.

01;36;13;10 – 01;36;17;23
Jon
Say, safety. Yeah. We’re starting to think a little bit about safety. As we’re pushing. Yes.

01;36;18;26 – 01;36;21;21
Darren
Just a little bit, because I’m starting to cross some boundaries here.

01;36;21;23 – 01;36;25;22
Jon
Yeah, you’re right. Gosh, I better start to think about just.

01;36;25;22 – 01;36;40;01
Darren
A little bit. You know, I always have my my helmet here on. Yeah, my flashing lights and everything. I my bike is one that my uncle gave me. His old bike. Yeah. A 93 diamondback and it’s bright orange. My jersey was bright white.

01;36;40;05 – 01;36;41;23
Jon
You’re like, I’m visible. I’m very.

01;36;41;23 – 01;36;46;24
Darren
Visible. And this is so Indiana Highway. I mean, it’s flat.

01;36;47;06 – 01;36;48;00
Jon
And straight.

01;36;48;07 – 01;37;20;00
Darren
For a long time in the silver cast, I hear a car coming wasn’t uncommon. I just get on that white line a little bit further, if possible. This time it wasn’t enough. And the unbelievable moment happened for me. I was hit just perfectly. Her mirror exploded on my ass and my arm bounced off of that. That bar between the door and the windshield.

01;37;20;05 – 01;37;22;11
Jon
Mm. That frame piece.

01;37;22;12 – 01;37;23;14
Darren
Yeah, that frame piece.

01;37;23;14 – 01;37;23;22
Jon
Yeah.

01;37;24;07 – 01;37;46;00
Darren
And around the police report says that she was going 55. The 60 the speed limit she didn’t hit me on the head or anything. I was completely conscious through this whole experience. All I remember was I don’t know if I fell in anything. I was just on my feet and alert and I knew what had happened and I couldn’t believe it.

01;37;46;26 – 01;37;54;04
Darren
And she kept driving and now I look around and I’m in this, I’m in the fields, man.

01;37;56;13 – 01;37;58;29
Darren
Corn fields all around. She’s driving.

01;37;59;08 – 01;38;00;19
Jon
Go into shock. Probably.

01;38;02;12 – 01;38;20;06
Darren
I think I was slight amount of trauma lying around it, but I still get a little you know, shaky whenever I talk about it. Um, I thought I was going to die I, I had no reason to believe that I didn’t have internal bleeding.

01;38;21;14 – 01;38;21;29
Jon
Um.

01;38;22;12 – 01;38;38;17
Darren
So I just started screaming and, like, screams. I’ve never heard myself do, and it was so, like, primal. I just felt like, this is it. After all this pushing, this is what I get it’s my own fault. I guess that’s what was going through my mind.

01;38;38;21 – 01;38;39;01
Jon
Um.

01;38;39;25 – 01;38;40;26
Darren
I was asking for it.

01;38;42;26 – 01;38;59;09
Darren
And I just. I stumble into the ditch and started to call 911, and thankfully, she had turned around, and she did that for me, and then I got the pleasure of calling my wife and telling her what had happened, and that was extremely hard.

01;39;01;12 – 01;39;07;09
Jon
Because at that point, when you called her dad, he still hadn’t even shown up yet or reached on that mindstate.

01;39;07;12 – 01;39;08;17
Darren
Mindstate. Okay.

01;39;08;20 – 01;39;11;19
Jon
So you’re still thinking I’m probably not going to make it.

01;39;11;28 – 01;39;19;17
Darren
Yeah, but, uh, I held all that together for her, so I didn’t want her to be scared, too scared. So I was like, Hey.

01;39;20;02 – 01;39;23;01
Jon
So hit by a car.

01;39;23;02 – 01;39;35;20
Darren
Yeah, no big deal. I’m just laying in a ditch. No one’s on the way. It’ll be all right. It wasn’t like 2 minutes later. Word got around to the whole family. My cousin Matthew, he calls me right away. She just got hit by a car.

01;39;36;07 – 01;39;36;16
Jon
Yeah.

01;39;36;29 – 01;39;58;25
Darren
I’m like, yeah, I did. Um, but also, within 10 minutes, the whole town in this little country town of, um, believe it was called Hop Start, Indiana, seemed like they were all around me. Everybody was there to help. But it just so happens that the first person on the scene was a nurse just driving by. How lucky is that?

01;39;58;28 – 01;39;59;07
Jon
Yeah.

01;40;00;00 – 01;40;05;07
Darren
And she said, you know, I think you’re just you might just have a few broken bones, but you’re all right.

01;40;07;11 – 01;40;08;29
Darren
Then the mindset.

01;40;10;23 – 01;40;10;27
Jon
The.

01;40;10;27 – 01;40;13;18
Darren
Mindset mindset shifted once again.

01;40;13;22 – 01;40;19;00
Jon
So now you’re not afraid that you’re going to die. Yeah. Now you’re just broken and broken.

01;40;20;07 – 01;40;22;05
Darren
And I’m a broken man with dreams.

01;40;25;25 – 01;40;45;19
Darren
How my arm, my left arm is very messed up. I can’t even move it. So that first life dream of the pull ups, how how am I going to do a pull up record with one arm? Maybe there’s a one arm pull up record and the next stop, man, she ruined my Ironman. I was doing pretty good.

01;40;46;07 – 01;40;47;22
Jon
Swimming and 30 miles down.

01;40;47;22 – 01;40;55;08
Darren
Curtis But if you remember we flash back a little bit. I had just signed up for that nasty, terrible race in Tennessee.

01;40;55;27 – 01;40;57;02
Jon
You have, what, a few weeks?

01;40;57;28 – 01;40;59;18
Darren
I have just over 30 days.

01;40;59;29 – 01;41;00;12
Jon
Okay.

01;41;03;03 – 01;41;15;19
Darren
And in that moment, I had this exact thought, by the way, I told myself, this is your opportunity to show how far you’ve come.

01;41;16;03 – 01;41;16;13
Jon
Hmm.

01;41;18;15 – 01;41;33;17
Darren
How much? Oh, Goggins always talks about how much mental growth you get from suffering. And I’ve chosen to suffer through a lot up to this point. I’ve overcome a lot, and I know for a fact I’m a different person to me. Let me show how different I am.

01;41;33;26 – 01;41;51;07
Jon
So you see that opportunity? Was there any, like, extra mental steps though, between seeing the light of the opportunity and I think I’m going to die? So you think you’re going to die? You learn you’re going to be okay now. You’re like, holy crud, unbroken. And then was it just like, snap, cool. I’m good to go have this opportunity?

01;41;51;20 – 01;42;08;24
Jon
Like, were you angry? Were you sad? Like, were you relieved when you need to be okay? Like, just that emotional peace, you’re still on the side of the road and you’re shifting through, what do I do? Or did it take some time to get to the conclusion of I’m going to turn this into an opportunity because like, there’s a transition.

01;42;08;24 – 01;42;10;02
Jon
There has to be a transition there.

01;42;11;02 – 01;42;26;16
Darren
The only transition I can remember was so I know, man, it was like a switch night. It was immediate, those thoughts, because I was just like, Well, this is my new challenge overcoming this.

01;42;27;29 – 01;42;30;04
Jon
So you’ve conditioned yourself to assume that.

01;42;30;12 – 01;42;43;16
Darren
The only, like, realistic thought that I had in this whole thing that wasn’t just a way out. There was you’re about to go through a lot that’s as real as I kept it.

01;42;43;25 – 01;42;44;03
Jon
Hmm.

01;42;44;28 – 01;43;15;28
Darren
This is going to require a different level from, you know, this is obviously going to be like a like a lawsuit type of situation you’re about to set off to raise this race in just over 30 days. Like, how do you even recover for something like that? You know, I was accepting that because I, I also had this thought of if my life were a movie a motivational movie, what would the main character do in this situation?

01;43;16;01 – 01;43;16;10
Jon
Hmm.

01;43;17;18 – 01;43;29;20
Darren
I think what would make it a movie would be he would choose to fight through the injuries and still race in just over 30 days. And that’s exactly what happened.

01;43;32;19 – 01;43;34;27
Jon
It’s a broken tailbone, messed up arm.

01;43;35;27 – 01;43;44;12
Darren
Shredded arm in unknown. At the time I had herniated disk right in the middle of my back and my neck got a little jacked up as well.

01;43;45;08 – 01;43;56;05
Jon
How are you feeling, given those injuries in today? You know, you were in some fun positions as we moved around each other. Were you okay? Did you feel them specifically your uncle?

01;43;56;07 – 01;44;07;04
Darren
So what happens is if I don’t eat properly, um, that, that injury, that preexisting injury, that herniation is still there. Um, it flares up.

01;44;07;13 – 01;44;11;23
Jon
Okay, so inflammations. You hit the thing you do to keep it at bay movement. You’re pretty good on.

01;44;11;27 – 01;44;35;01
Darren
I eat a very low inflammatory diet um, because if I don’t, sugar is like an accelerator for your injuries. It flares them right up and anybody with an injury could probably tell you that. Yeah, I just eat all this food. Oh, my God. I’m hurting Steph or hurting whatever.

01;44;35;07 – 01;44;42;08
Jon
Like fruit and honey. Are really, like, the only ones that don’t make me feel that way unless I just go insane on, like, too much honey.

01;44;42;12 – 01;44;59;23
Darren
Yeah. So nowadays, I still live with it. It’s a piece of me. Some days I have bad days because I’m human, and my wife and I will have fun meals or whatever, and I might get a little out of hand for a couple of days over the course of a couple of days. That’s all it takes. Down, waking up like, three in the morning because my back hurts so bad.

01;45;00;14 – 01;45;01;09
Jon
Right. Time to get.

01;45;01;09 – 01;45;22;29
Darren
Back. Yeah, but anyway, I accepted that was about to go down a really hard path, but it was. It felt like going back to that universe thing, I felt like the universe was giving me this great opportunity you know, through insane adversity.

01;45;23;07 – 01;45;28;18
Jon
So at first I was testing and now even seeing what was a test before nursing opportunity.

01;45;28;18 – 01;46;11;08
Darren
I’m now name and viewing them as test. They are opportunities. For me, that’s a shift. The mind is getting stronger. Yeah. Um, ambulance comes I turn it down. That might have just been in general and talking. I don’t know, but I was already in that mindset. I’m racing so the sheriff’s deputy volunteers that drive me and my bike back to that gym where it started from the end of the pick me up in the hallway there I was telling them what I was about to do and I was all fired up and he was getting fired up to them before we knew we were talking about like the Warriors mentality and before before long, I was

01;46;11;08 – 01;46;21;05
Darren
like calling him a bitch because, you know, he’s talking about how he hasn’t ran in a while. And I was just like to do that. Just got turned in the road, kill his tone you stop being a bitch and start training.

01;46;21;12 – 01;46;21;26
Jon
Yeah.

01;46;22;05 – 01;46;24;10
Darren
Because I knew, you know, the benefits that you can get from it.

01;46;24;10 – 01;46;31;12
Jon
Yeah. It’s just hilarious. He’s driving a broken due to the gym. You guys are starting to own each other.

01;46;31;19 – 01;46;39;13
Darren
You find the firefighters whenever they showed up, they were like, when we heard that a cyclist got hit on this road, we weren’t expecting someone that was alive.

01;46;42;02 – 01;46;44;21
Darren
You know? So this whole experience is odd.

01;46;44;24 – 01;46;45;06
Jon
Yeah.

01;46;45;24 – 01;47;03;14
Darren
Miranda picks me up when she takes me to the urgent care. They’re booked up, man. I can’t even walk in. And I was just hit by a car. So we make an appointment on the other side of town, but it’s in, like, 2 hours. So I go home and take a shower, and I just remember taking a shower. I just got hit by a car.

01;47;04;10 – 01;47;06;05
Darren
You’re going to get a shower?

01;47;06;05 – 01;47;06;17
Jon
Yeah.

01;47;07;26 – 01;47;12;03
Darren
Washing off the grime of the Iron Man and the crash.

01;47;12;03 – 01;47;12;16
Jon
Yeah.

01;47;14;08 – 01;47;24;08
Darren
This is weird. Yeah. Because most people in, myself included, were to use that as an opportunity to be coddled for the rest of their life.

01;47;24;17 – 01;47;25;09
Jon
And be.

01;47;25;09 – 01;47;26;28
Darren
A victim of the situation.

01;47;29;22 – 01;47;51;26
Darren
Not me. Nope, not this time. And, you know, I went to the doctor, you know, they found the broken tailbone, all that stuff. I get prescribed pain meds, but I knew the journey I was about to go on. I know I need to know exactly where my pain tolerance is. I need to feel from being even more injured.

01;47;53;14 – 01;48;15;13
Darren
There are no pain meds in this regimen, so I refused every painkiller, no ibuprofen, nothing because also those just slow down recovery. You know, it’s easing your pain, but slowing your recovery process. I can’t afford that. I got to recover as much as I possibly can in the next 30 days.

01;48;15;16 – 01;48;15;25
Jon
Yeah.

01;48;16;17 – 01;48;24;07
Darren
So I obviously can’t run. I don’t even know what I can do. So I go to the gym on January 1st just to.

01;48;24;07 – 01;48;24;19
Jon
Find.

01;48;24;19 – 01;48;26;24
Darren
Out. Yeah. Hop on an elliptical.

01;48;26;25 – 01;48;28;15
Jon
How’s your arm real quick at that point?

01;48;28;15 – 01;48;31;27
Darren
Oh, it’s just dangling there. It’s it’s very swollen and.

01;48;32;11 – 01;48;36;07
Jon
So did he know that it would likely recover in his just torn up?

01;48;36;07 – 01;48;49;27
Darren
Yeah, they they did X-rays. It wasn’t broken. It was just a lot of soft tissue damage. But there was like one day like my forearm swelled just randomly, but that part wasn’t even impacted. And there was like fear of a blood clot and all this craziness. But anyway.

01;48;50;01 – 01;48;50;26
Jon
So he’s recovering.

01;48;50;26 – 01;49;10;13
Darren
All I need is legs to do this race. So that thing was just dangling there. But I hop on an elliptical and I’m like, man, I could, I could do this without it shifting the tailbone too much. I’m in such a position. No jarring looking impact. Yeah. I was like, It’s on. I found the key to making this happen.

01;49;11;15 – 01;49;20;04
Darren
So I threw down a lot of hours on that thing, man. 8 hours the next day, the same thing. And it went on and on and on, day after day.

01;49;20;07 – 01;49;25;05
Jon
8 hours a day? Yeah. For how many days was it? The full 30. Do you just do it up to the race?

01;49;25;07 – 01;49;32;19
Darren
No, no, no, no. Okay. That first week I logged I think around 30 hours on the Stairmaster.

01;49;32;22 – 01;49;33;00
Jon
Okay.

01;49;33;23 – 01;49;36;20
Darren
A lot of time. Yes. Stairmaster, dude, that’s mine.

01;49;36;20 – 01;49;38;03
Jon
No. Oh, not on the elliptical or.

01;49;38;03 – 01;49;51;23
Darren
Not to sit where jump. I’m. Yeah, I’m having like. And you strangle me this morning. No, the elliptical. The elliptical. That’s very mind numbing to do that amount of hours on an elliptical.

01;49;51;23 – 01;49;52;18
Jon
Absolutely.

01;49;53;08 – 01;50;01;16
Darren
And there’s no guarantee that you’re even going to be good to go in 30 days. You’re just kind of going on faith and self-belief and for the story.

01;50;01;16 – 01;50;01;27
Jon
Yeah.

01;50;02;15 – 01;50;05;26
Darren
Because I kept telling myself because it wasn’t completely painless.

01;50;06;02 – 01;50;06;13
Jon
Yeah.

01;50;06;13 – 01;50;21;20
Darren
I couldn’t say I couldn’t do anything. And I was just like, but if you follow through, you don’t slack once you’re going to have, like, this endless part of motivation that you get the dick from. Yeah. Every time that you’re in difficult situation throughout the rest of your life.

01;50;22;01 – 01;50;33;10
Jon
So you hit the elliptical hard and that becomes your tools. You spend the 30 days dress living there. Yeah, living on it. And your first 24 hour race, right?

01;50;33;23 – 01;50;33;26
Darren
Mm.

01;50;35;05 – 01;50;39;15
Jon
How’d that go with the injury the elliptical training and, um.

01;50;42;15 – 01;51;10;05
Darren
My work did not know that I was, you know, I was off of work. Obviously, I was broken but I, they didn’t know that I was training because I didn’t want them to know because I didn’t want to go back to work prematurely. I was on this insane mission. I didn’t have time for that so they didn’t even know that I was at this race.

01;51;10;05 – 01;51;34;02
Darren
Actually, so that being said, I showed up and my injuries were not healed. And it rains pretty much 100% of the time at this race. Is very muddy. And you’re in the mountains, so you’re like sliding down hills. Everybody’s falling. It’s kind of like this controlled water slide, basically that you’re just trying to run on or just looping.

01;51;34;03 – 01;51;34;13
Jon
Yeah.

01;51;35;13 – 01;51;37;07
Darren
I couldn’t afford it in the fall like everybody else.

01;51;37;14 – 01;51;37;19
Jon
Yeah.

01;51;37;20 – 01;51;40;16
Darren
Because if I thought my ass I might just Rebeca.

01;51;40;17 – 01;51;41;10
Jon
Think, yeah.

01;51;42;09 – 01;51;48;18
Darren
And then, you know, it’ll work and it will be a long time before I can return.

01;51;48;23 – 01;51;49;04
Jon
Yeah.

01;51;49;17 – 01;51;55;05
Darren
Um, but I didn’t fall once that year. I was probably one of the only ones that didn’t fall.

01;51;56;24 – 01;51;57;12
Jon
You finished it?

01;51;57;16 – 01;52;02;00
Darren
I did finish. Nice. I believe I got either 15th or 12th place.

01;52;02;05 – 01;52;03;22
Jon
Okay. Overall.

01;52;04;12 – 01;52;06;26
Darren
Which is insane for that one.

01;52;09;00 – 01;52;48;28
Darren
That’s the year that I got trench foot two at that race. Because you’re running through streams. It’s raining. I still didn’t have a lot of ultra endurance knowledge around running. I didn’t know that if your feet are constantly going to be wet, take a lot of changes of socks. So I didn’t change my socks once and I had probably been running for, I don’t know, maybe 20 hours, maybe and I went to spread my toes because they’re kind of cramped and a little bit in the webbing in between my toes pulled apart of wet paper, you know, restraining and it was so easy.

01;52;49;00 – 01;52;49;09
Jon
Yeah.

01;52;49;24 – 01;52;54;15
Darren
And I felt in, I knew exactly what happened and I just kind of laughed in my mind.

01;52;57;15 – 01;53;01;10
Darren
This is an obstacle after what I’ve gone through the be here.

01;53;01;15 – 01;53;01;23
Jon
Mm.

01;53;02;07 – 01;53;18;22
Darren
I do not care. In fact I think it fueled my fire. I was like, not only did you go through this whole process of being here, but now you’re getting trench foot and you’re still going that’s a lot different than the guy that was lost at CVS.

01;53;18;26 – 01;53;19;05
Jon
Um.

01;53;20;17 – 01;53;44;03
Darren
So right then and there, just because of that story, behind that, I made it my third life dream to win that race. That meant so much to me because every time that I go back, I get to relive that moment in my life where I pushed harder than I ever have. I did the thing that most people would not.

01;53;44;03 – 01;53;44;12
Jon
Do.

01;53;46;12 – 01;53;54;05
Darren
They take their pain meds, you know, just give up on everything. Oh, man, I’m too broken for this, not me.

01;53;54;28 – 01;54;13;01
Jon
So you finish the 24 and you realize I want to win this. So you go on training and stuff. This becomes a life goal. I know a little bit about it. So I know that you learn that some crazy man decides to say, Well, instead of 24 hours, let’s make it 48 hours.

01;54;13;10 – 01;54;13;20
Darren
Yeah.

01;54;14;03 – 01;54;15;14
Jon
So which excites you?

01;54;16;02 – 01;54;16;26
Darren
Yes.

01;54;16;26 – 01;54;22;06
Jon
And you also decide to lose your shoes somewhere in between here, don’t you, for a couple of adventures. Um.

01;54;22;28 – 01;54;51;24
Darren
So we’re looking at, um, so after that for some of them, we’re still in 20, 20, um, I had a friend at that same gym that I did the elliptical on, um, and he worked there and he was, he’s in the army reserves or something. I’m not even sure. His name’s Layden and he saw the whole process and I told him what I did in Tennessee he was like, I can’t believe it, basically.

01;54;52;26 – 01;55;08;23
Darren
And then before I knew that he was challenging himself, he was awesome. And then he started talking about how you wanted to do this Mount Everest challenge on the Jacob’s Ladder. For anybody that doesn’t know, the Jacob’s Ladder is like a treadmill where you climb a ladder and it never ends.

01;55;09;03 – 01;55;13;12
Jon
Correct. At a slight incline. So it’s not completely vertical. It’s like a 45.

01;55;13;13 – 01;55;56;09
Darren
It’s like a 45. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah. And he was like, so the challenge is over the course of seven days, you do the height of Mount Everest from sea level 29,029 feet and I was in such a mind state that I said, You do that and I’ll do it in one day. When he does it. And then I go in there to do it and not even 2 minutes and the doing it, the, the stair or the Jacob’s Ladder, it breaks down and it was broken down for like a month or two and then randomly laden text me says, hey, it’s back up and running he’s still calling me out.

01;55;56;15 – 01;55;56;26
Jon
Yeah.

01;55;57;17 – 01;56;22;27
Darren
So I tell him I’ll be in there on Saturday, but because you seem so amped up and ready the continue push pushing, you’re going to do 100 miles on the stationary bike right next to me and he took me up on it. It was awesome. Nice I showed up at like I think 9 p.m. Saturday night and I was completely uninspired by doing that.

01;56;24;22 – 01;56;25;27
Jon
So no desire.

01;56;26;06 – 01;56;35;10
Darren
No desire whatsoever. And I knew from my research that only a handful of people have ever done the Everest challenge. But in one day.

01;56;35;16 – 01;56;35;25
Jon
I’m.

01;56;37;23 – 01;57;11;08
Darren
What if I could push a little further so what gave me that fire, that inspiration was I’m going to just break the known record for distance, climbed on this thing and ultimately over the course of 12 hours I climb 32,000 feet, which is roughly 3000 feet higher than Everest. No training whatsoever. There’s where I learned another lesson. You don’t always have to be prepared that jump into the fire and accomplish something.

01;57;11;15 – 01;57;11;28
Jon
Hmm.

01;57;12;18 – 01;57;13;14
Darren
Just do it.

01;57;13;22 – 01;57;14;20
Jon
Dude. That’s a cool one.

01;57;14;20 – 01;57;31;12
Darren
I had my mind. It was right. You know, I put it through so much, I might not have had experience on this, but I had the correct mindset for it and I just show up and I break the known record and my hands didn’t work for two months after that.

01;57;33;24 – 01;57;40;29
Darren
Um, because I was constantly climbing, putting all my body weight on these two little punk ass hands, basically.

01;57;41;21 – 01;57;42;07
Jon
You know.

01;57;42;26 – 01;57;52;26
Darren
And you have the major nerves that run through your hands called the ulnar nerves. And if you pinch those, you’re losing like the feeling and half of your hand. And that happened in both hands.

01;57;53;14 – 01;57;56;00
Jon
So you’re losing feeling. Losing function. Yeah.

01;57;56;17 – 01;58;00;09
Darren
Not good right after that. You know, I moved the Colorado.

01;58;00;09 – 01;58;06;27
Jon
Way real quick. I just realized something, you started this at 9 p.m., so you just did 12 hours through the night to my name.

01;58;07;03 – 01;58;13;22
Darren
Yeah, it was funny actually, because the the workers that were there when I started showed up again in the morning.

01;58;14;10 – 01;58;16;01
Jon
And they’re like, you’re still here doing this.

01;58;16;10 – 01;58;20;12
Darren
Yeah. They were following along on like the security cams and stuff. Give me my distance.

01;58;20;20 – 01;58;33;25
Jon
Oh, so everyone’s got you have like this impromptu group. Oh, just like, let’s go. Yeah. The crowd, this guy’s going through the night, which, by the way, I see worked Friday. Then I’m assuming because you get Saturday night.

01;58;33;25 – 01;58;35;05
Darren
Yes, I would have worked. Right?

01;58;35;17 – 01;58;45;01
Jon
See, worked Friday when had dinner and stuff came to the gym. At 9 p.m., jumped on to my knee and ended 32 or three.

01;58;45;28 – 01;58;46;17
Darren
32.

01;58;46;18 – 01;58;48;05
Jon
30, 24 32.

01;58;48;05 – 01;58;50;05
Darren
Thousand 353.

01;58;50;05 – 01;58;55;14
Jon
I think could you just give yourself 12 hours to go? But how did you pick the 12 hours if you decide just to go as far as.

01;58;55;17 – 01;58;59;14
Darren
The goal was to just go further than Everest.

01;58;59;25 – 01;59;00;07
Jon
Okay.

01;59;00;19 – 01;59;22;24
Darren
Because that was like the known record. Yeah. In one day. So anything past that was going to be a success can I got past it and you know, my mind was like, let’s just see how far we can keep going. And then we got to a point where I was just like, well, I’ve already beat it and let me put this in perspective.

01;59;24;06 – 01;59;32;03
Darren
Yeah. So this was harder than everything I had done before. It really, it was torture, man. You’re on a 45 degree angle.

01;59;32;17 – 01;59;33;19
Jon
So your back starts, you are.

01;59;33;19 – 01;59;58;13
Darren
Looking white feet in front of your face right at the Jacob’s Ladder step step, step, step, step. Hours upon hours. And once your neck gets kind of tired from holding your head in that position, you look up. But then all of a sudden you’re getting like a rapid of stress injury from holding your head backwards. Like that kind of so you could, like, watch that TV in front of you or whatever.

01;59;58;13 – 02;00;18;22
Darren
You’re craning your neck and it adds up those hours. Yeah. And then your hands are going numb. You know, because you’re doing nerve damage and your feet don’t want to lift anymore. It is so unlike running or cycling or anything or that climb that I did in the very beginning, this one was bad. This was the first time.

02;00;18;22 – 02;00;40;21
Darren
And I like transcended what I even thought was possible for me. And I thought there was a lot possible after all the stuff that I had gone through. There are several levels beyond that, what I had done before. And it was like in that single push, I had jump like three levels.

02;00;41;04 – 02;00;41;16
Jon
Dang.

02;00;41;27 – 02;00;43;19
Darren
Dude, it was it was terrible.

02;00;43;19 – 02;00;44;18
Jon
Just a game changer.

02;00;44;20 – 02;00;44;29
Darren
Yeah.

02;00;45;02 – 02;00;47;27
Jon
Straight from hell. Yeah. Mhm.

02;00;48;27 – 02;00;50;05
Darren
But I did it and uh.

02;00;50;27 – 02;00;51;18
Jon
Yep, that.

02;00;52;12 – 02;00;58;28
Darren
Now I moved to Colorado, started my new job and in fact the company that we worked for.

02;00;59;00 – 02;00;59;08
Jon
Yep.

02;00;59;24 – 02;01;23;27
Darren
I started there with impaired hands didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t want to be viewed as a weak link. They didn’t know much about me in the very beginning, but I knew about me and, and I applied the same mindset. I’m still doing it. There’s, I did it spectrum yep. Except for I’m even better nowadays and I was there.

02;01;25;01 – 02;01;36;26
Darren
Um, but then from there, whatever, um, I decided the race the black to run again so quite an experience to go all the way back to Tennessee. Just put myself back in the fire.

02;01;36;29 – 02;01;37;08
Jon
Mm.

02;01;37;20 – 02;01;53;05
Darren
Um, and I only place, like, I just did a little bit better than the year before. I ran ten more miles, but I wasn’t even close to being the winner then. 20, 21 rolls around.

02;01;53;07 – 02;01;53;17
Jon
Okay.

02;01;55;14 – 02;02;23;27
Darren
I started grinding at the pull ups again at the beginning of the year. Um, I was like, man, I, I went pretty far with this older stuff, but black toes, not for basically another year or so. It’s like, I want to really revisit this pull up thing because it’s been on the back burner, and I pushed it to the limit, and then it got to the point where my progress was slowing because I was just too heavy and I was going to the death every time.

02;02;24;25 – 02;02;42;10
Darren
Um, I did unofficially break that record three or four times in training, but my goal was not once my, my, and specifically the pull up record that chose to go for it was the most rear pull ups in one minute. So behind the head because they’re harder.

02;02;42;15 – 02;02;42;24
Jon
Yeah.

02;02;45;03 – 02;02;59;00
Darren
The record is 45. I my best is 48 but I wanted at least 50 because I’m not concerned with the other guy’s record. I, I’ve always wanted 50.

02;02;59;09 – 02;02;59;19
Jon
Okay.

02;03;00;10 – 02;03;24;04
Darren
But I was just too heavy to make it happen in my progress is sliding black toes coming up I got to start getting back in the running and then my buddy Joe gets in the marathon running because of my wife Miranda. She wanted to do her first marathon. I was like, hey Joe from earlier in this conversation, the one that lives in Denver, okay.

02;03;24;12 – 02;03;37;28
Darren
It’s been on his dream board to do an Iron Man and I was like a big piece of an Iron Man. It’s the marathon at the end. Why don’t you challenge him? He immediately said yes.

02;03;38;19 – 02;03;39;22
Jon
So who challenge Miranda?

02;03;39;24 – 02;03;40;08
Darren
Miranda.

02;03;40;11 – 02;03;42;27
Jon
She say, Hey, Joe, run this marathon. I said, Yes.

02;03;43;09 – 02;03;44;01
Darren
Absolutely.

02;03;45;03 – 02;03;45;20
Jon
Love it.

02;03;45;22 – 02;03;47;00
Darren
Yeah, I love his mindset.

02;03;47;01 – 02;04;09;27
Jon
Don’t you love real quick because. Because it’s happening without being stated. But it’s not just your mindset that’s shifting everyone around. Use mindset who you spend your your day in and day out with. You’re attracting the people who want to say yes to this type of thing. Yeah, there’s something powerful about that. You know, I love it. And that life lesson you point to about put yourself with people who are the same pursuit.

02;04;10;29 – 02;04;12;20
Jon
So. All right, so they’re training for the marathon.

02;04;13;03 – 02;04;39;14
Darren
So they they pick a really hard one. They picked a marathon just out of outside of Leadville, Colorado, which is the highest altitude city or town in America. So they’re doing this marathon, only 10,000 feet of elevation for their first one because it’s a lot different than my first marathon. Yeah. Flat Indiana Indianapolis Marathon. So they’re both savages.

02;04;39;14 – 02;05;09;18
Darren
For doing it. But they had originally signed up for the Boulder Marathon. It got canceled because of COVID and pushed to October so that’s why they found this other marathon that they did is their first one. But they were still signed up for the the Boulder Marathon, even though it got moved they wanted me to do it. But by this point, I had done so many marathons and training for the black to run just throughout the years.

02;05;10;06 – 02;05;13;16
Darren
I wasn’t inspired by it, but I was like.

02;05;13;25 – 02;05;14;08
Jon
Wow.

02;05;14;11 – 02;05;41;10
Darren
Well, the second year of going in the black toe, I actually injured my Achilles running 60 miles is a training run. And I had read this book called Born the Run. It talks about, you know, screwed of NATOs and South America who run barefoot and in sandals. And they have been doing that their whole lives. And they compete just strictly to survive.

02;05;41;10 – 02;05;49;03
Darren
They like win prizes of like £1,000 of corn, for example. So the rifle literally is running.

02;05;49;12 – 02;05;49;21
Jon
Okay.

02;05;50;15 – 02;06;10;18
Darren
But what makes them so interesting in this book is they do it with no shoes. And the whole point was this one inch heel that we all have beneath our shoe. This foam pan is actually what’s injuring us. Because we’re not running natural like that.

02;06;13;17 – 02;06;19;26
Darren
I was like, well, maybe I could lose the shoes and do this marathon with Joe and Miranda.

02;06;21;00 – 02;06;22;00
Jon
There comes the intrigue.

02;06;22;04 – 02;06;34;27
Darren
There are a couple of levels. This maybe it will keep me from getting Achilles injuries in the future, but also it’s going to hurt really bad in that intrigues me because it will be really hard to pull off.

02;06;35;07 – 02;06;38;21
Jon
And how did you picture the course? Did you picture it being like smoothly paved or.

02;06;38;23 – 02;06;43;12
Darren
Yes, because it’s Boulder. The Boulder Marathon Boulder is very boujee.

02;06;43;13 – 02;06;43;24
Jon
Yeah.

02;06;44;04 – 02;07;01;27
Darren
In high class, I expected freshly paved roads it wasn’t like that at all. Probably 75% of that course goes through the country of Boulder, you know, the country rural areas, you know, it’s all gravel.

02;07;03;29 – 02;07;04;07
Jon
And you’re.

02;07;04;07 – 02;07;14;22
Darren
Barefoot. Yes. Oh, boy. Um, leading up to that marathon, um, I think still to this day is the hardest thing that I’ve done.

02;07;14;23 – 02;07;19;29
Jon
So what you’re about to say is worse than the 30,000 feet on the ladder.

02;07;20;04 – 02;07;50;29
Darren
Yes. Okay. This is the second time that my mind takes that quantum leap, and this time it’s such a leap that it’s almost like an out of body experience. It’s unlike a fellow state hmm. You’re, you’re accessing this level of your mind that you just can’t simply tap into unless you’re truly suffering I guess. Um, so I was just like, well, if I want to run a barefoot marathon, I need some steps here.

02;07;51;27 – 02;07;58;03
Darren
But I live in Colorado Springs and our main mountain that dominates the springs. It’s Pikes Peak.

02;07;58;04 – 02;07;59;08
Jon
Yep. Queen of the Rockies.

02;07;59;11 – 02;08;01;19
Darren
Yes. America’s mountain.

02;08;01;19 – 02;08;02;04
Jon
Hmm.

02;08;04;20 – 02;08;10;11
Darren
What if I could hike to the Pikes Peak summit with no shoes?

02;08;13;14 – 02;08;28;17
Darren
It is a 100% like granite gravel path all the way to the top. Every step ensures pain if I can do this, I can run a barefoot marathon in Boulder. You’re not. It’s not like I’m going up to 14,000 feet.

02;08;28;17 – 02;08;28;29
Jon
Mm.

02;08;29;24 – 02;08;53;06
Darren
Well, I start, and within a mile, I tell the other guys that were with me, a couple of army friends I was never in the army, but there they were. Um, go on without me, because I’m already suffering in my mind. And it’s like, if I’m going to make this, I need this person all the time right now.

02;08;53;17 – 02;08;54;13
Jon
You’re going to go deep.

02;08;54;24 – 02;09;18;04
Darren
Yes. Somehow I get to the top of the tree line at around 12,000 feet on the mountain. That’s where the, the the trees no longer grow because there’s no oxygen to support it. I guess at that point, the rocks get significantly sharper and bigger that you’re walking on. Basically, just shattered boulders. Basically, it’s not even gravel at this point.

02;09;18;04 – 02;09;22;11
Darren
It’s shards, a big rock. Oh, good.

02;09;22;23 – 02;09;25;00
Jon
And your feet are already torn out yeah.

02;09;25;05 – 02;09;59;28
Darren
And that’s probably gonna be like, eight miles up the mountain maybe. And it’s pretty much 13 to the summit. So I saw like five, maybe even six miles to go until the summit when I get to this point where I just kind of tip over and then I stand back up and I try to make it to the end of the switch back and I make it like two steps and I fall again because the pain is insane.

02;10;00;04 – 02;10;18;06
Darren
It feels like the skin has been peeled off of the bottom of my feet. I’m hitting every single nerve with every jagged rock This was not an ultramarathon. This was not a physical challenge of, like, where your muscles just hurt.

02;10;18;13 – 02;10;18;23
Jon
Yeah.

02;10;18;27 – 02;10;43;27
Darren
This is actual physical pain with every single step. But I can’t give up because no matter how far I’ve come I still haven’t touched even one of those three life dreams that I currently have. I’m not going to be that squirrel again. I was in the past you know, I’ve given it everything, so but I can’t even make it to the end of a switchback.

02;10;43;27 – 02;10;50;09
Darren
And I still have like five to six miles at Pikes Peak. Yeah, to go. That’s not normal. Five to six miles, by the way.

02;10;50;11 – 02;10;52;16
Jon
It’s straight up. And you’re already over 12,000 feet.

02;10;52;19 – 02;11;19;22
Darren
Yeah. At least not not a big deal at that height because I’m not like running or anything. But you’re very exposed to military cover. And it was very hot because it was in August I think it was pretty hot up there. Um, I called Miranda because I, I had to talk to somebody. I had to bring some of the real world to this situation.

02;11;20;10 – 02;11;47;29
Darren
And she gave me that same tough love that she did at the rain ride, essentially. Are you at your 100%? What’s it going to hurt if you just give it everything? It turns out you could hurt a lot, but I hang up the phone and it’s just just her saying that, I don’t know, maybe it was just the comfort of hearing her voice, but I was allowed to just dig in and get very emotional.

02;11;48;10 – 02;12;17;29
Darren
And it was kind of interesting from that moment on. I think I cried the entire time. There’s this constant theme of crying going on. It’s because there’s a lot of power and emotions and that’s when I started dissecting the story that we’ve been talking about and going all the way back to the childhood you know, just like man, even with that car crash, you should be paralyzed at the very least.

02;12;18;10 – 02;12;24;13
Darren
But here you are still pushing, and now you’re the one man on the mountain with no shoes.

02;12;26;15 – 02;12;48;27
Darren
And it was just at that moment I just put a hood up and I go extremely dark. I’m trying to shade myself from the sun, and I’m just I don’t even know what I’m thinking about anymore. I’m not even in a flow state. I just don’t even know what’s happening. Barely other than barely existing, but fully alive. And step by step, that’s what I’m amounted to at this moment.

02;12;49;19 – 02;12;50;23
Darren
One step after the other.

02;12;54;06 – 02;13;02;15
Darren
I remember this old lady came in, she passed me, but before she passed me, she tapped me on the shoulder and she’s like, Can I ask why you’re up here?

02;13;04;16 – 02;13;12;25
Darren
And I didn’t even have a response for her because I couldn’t even comprehend how to even answer that question, especially in that amount of pain.

02;13;15;04 – 02;13;43;26
Darren
And so I forget what I said, but I was trying to be as nice as possible. But basically, please leave me be please oh man. Every time that I looked up from that moment forward and I just see these great rock faces and they never get closer to me, I’m on this endless journey of self-discovery, and I’m like, transcending by the minute.

02;13;46;12 – 02;13;53;28
Darren
Eventually that it all ends because everything does. And I have not been the same since that climb.

02;13;54;27 – 02;13;56;09
Jon
In you success summit.

02;13;56;16 – 02;14;19;00
Darren
I did. And people the funny thing about Pikes Peak is, you know, there’s a highway that goes up the back and it’s a very touristy thing. Um, I’m too damn near everybody. Probably 98% of the people up there got up there either by a train or their car on the highway. And here I come, cresting over the side with no shoes on.

02;14;20;15 – 02;14;25;14
Darren
And they’re looking at me like, I’m like this alien from another planet. And I felt like one too I was.

02;14;25;14 – 02;14;28;01
Jon
Going to say, you probably thought everything was surreal.

02;14;28;08 – 02;14;32;14
Darren
Yeah, I have not been the same since that.

02;14;33;07 – 02;14;38;25
Jon
How would you say look? What feels different? If you notice something’s different.

02;14;38;25 – 02;15;02;14
Darren
A scary amount of possibility. This is so far beyond what society tells us we’re capable of because we look at, you know, the major sports players as the elites in they are what they do. But that’s not even close to what we can do with our bodies and our minds.

02;15;04;23 – 02;15;26;14
Darren
And this pushed me levels beyond what everything else was given me. I do not look at challenge the same way anymore. Literally any challenge. I don’t care if it’s impossible or seemingly impossible in my mind, I can now make it inevitable and strictly mean that.

02;15;29;04 – 02;15;29;20
Jon
That’s cool.

02;15;29;24 – 02;15;30;18
Darren
Because look at what I just.

02;15;30;18 – 02;15;31;11
Jon
Did. Yeah.

02;15;34;06 – 02;15;52;20
Darren
So right after that, I run the Boulder Marathon and I have some ups and downs I don’t want to get into all the games, but I have the ups and downs and I reflect on that Pikes Peak moment. I’m just like I’m finishing.

02;15;52;26 – 02;15;53;06
Jon
Yeah.

02;15;53;08 – 02;16;13;02
Darren
There’s no doubt in my mind in this barefoot again. Yes. And I want to point out, I started off that race in Dead Less because it was so incredibly cold that morning that the moment I took off my shoes, my feet went numb and the doubt crept in. And Joe, my buddy Joe was seeing me in action for the first time.

02;16;13;02 – 02;16;24;08
Darren
Everything before this was just stories to him. And Miranda’s there to, you know, lifetime cheering me audibly say there’s no way this is happening.

02;16;27;07 – 02;16;47;11
Darren
Then the gun goes off. And by the way, at the same time, I’m having these feelings. A thousand people are looking at me because this is like the first time I’ve truly done, like, a public challenge of this magnitude. Everybody’s looking at the guy with no shoes. So that’s just weighing on me. And the gun goes off. Everybody takes off.

02;16;47;11 – 02;17;07;00
Darren
I told Miranda and Joe leave me, just like I told the Army buddies on pikes. People leave me because if I’m going to have any chance, I need to be alone. Right now, I’m and I ran a half mile into that race. It turns to gravel. Adding more insult to injury. But then I started thinking about what I had done on Pikes Peak.

02;17;09;07 – 02;17;33;27
Darren
I know it’s possible now. I pick up my pace and I see the first runner. I picked them off, then the next one pick them off. From that moment forward, nobody passed me until mile 14. In fact, like mile six, I passed Miranda. I like Tapper on the shoulder. I’m just like, Hey, she couldn’t believe it because, you know, she had heard me at the beginning.

02;17;34;22 – 02;18;01;09
Darren
Most people would give up. If they’re already thinking like that. It’s inevitable. You know me. I told her, you know, this feeling, my fade. So I got to keep going. So I passed Miranda and I keep passing people, passing people, and I pass this one. Do you need stops me use this like, hey, that’s crazy. I saw a dude last month that did Pikes Peak Barefoot I was just like, that was me training for this.

02;18;02;08 – 02;18;05;13
Darren
I thought that was pretty surreal, but, yeah, witnessed both of these.

02;18;05;15 – 02;18;05;28
Jon
Yeah.

02;18;06;14 – 02;18;14;26
Darren
And then flash forward, and a bunch of craziness happens. Uh, I catch my buddy Joe at 19, and we finished that race together.

02;18;17;13 – 02;18;19;14
Darren
Our journey is just getting started.

02;18;19;20 – 02;18;20;06
Jon
Cool.

02;18;20;25 – 02;18;44;24
Darren
Yeah, but I finish that, and then that gave me the confidence to go into the third black to run. But like you had mentioned before, this was the year that the race director announced on Facebook. How about a 48 hour race I hated him. His name is John Harden. He’s a masochist. He’s, he’s evil, but in the best ways possible.

02;18;45;20 – 02;18;50;09
Darren
But I hit him because I can’t turn down his hardest challenge because that’s the only reason I go back.

02;18;51;12 – 02;18;52;23
Jon
So you’re doing it, dude.

02;18;52;23 – 02;19;29;10
Darren
I messaged him the same day. I was just like, You make it possible and not 200%. I’m racing it. And I did. And after I told him that the pressure was on because you don’t just simply act that confidence to this man because he’s accomplished a lot as well as and in the Tennessee community, especially over there, it’s just like, you really better back up your words if you’re even going to open up your mouth because it’s the firm belief that you keep it all bottled inside until you’ve done it.

02;19;29;17 – 02;19;55;24
Darren
Be very humble but you know, when I sent that message, my intent was to win. So I set out to run a hundred miles in training for it. Failed. Two weeks after running the Boulder Marathon, I set out to do 100. I failed like mile 20 because my calves, they’re still jacked up from the Barefoot Marathon. Not even a month goes by.

02;19;56;15 – 02;20;22;15
Darren
I try again and my buddy Joe comes out and I think we push it to maybe like 50, 60 miles. I’m not even sure. But I fail again. I try it a third time. Joe comes out, he runs a complete marathon with me, and he didn’t plan on that. He just saw how bad it was. And I think I got to like 60 something miles failed again.

02;20;22;15 – 02;20;28;21
Darren
And it’s December. I basically got a month to get in there.

02;20;28;25 – 02;20;29;03
Jon
Yeah.

02;20;29;12 – 02;20;52;16
Darren
A month and a half maybe almost to be in shape, to run for 48 hours. Yeah. When I see, it’s like there’s a reason I’m failing these 100 mile runs and because my mindset is not there. I mean, like, I can injure myself in pursuit of something, but I can’t afford to get injured. Before this one. So I, I kept pulling back.

02;20;52;19 – 02;21;12;08
Darren
Yeah, it’s just like my, my legs are getting injured too fast. I’m obviously not doing enough miles to be able to do this. So from that moment on, I made the choice to run 20 miles a day and then in January, it turned into a marathon a day.

02;21;12;20 – 02;21;17;11
Jon
In real quick, for perspective, you’re working a full day yes.

02;21;17;11 – 02;21;19;01
Darren
Still manual labor.

02;21;19;01 – 02;21;23;10
Jon
Manual check. Yeah. If you install the air ducts for a track.

02;21;24;13 – 02;21;27;12
Darren
Uh, I do a lot of work with, like, indoor air quality.

02;21;27;13 – 02;21;30;21
Jon
Okay. Yeah. So you’re crawling around, you’re lifting things.

02;21;30;21 – 02;21;37;24
Darren
Crawl spaces, you’re in attics, you’re hauling in heavy equipment day after day. Repetitively.

02;21;38;09 – 02;21;53;02
Jon
And so just to frame it properly, you’re working a manual labor job. Mm. Eight plus hours a day. Yeah. And still doing 20 miles to then a marathon a day. Yeah. So like very early morning or late. Late night.

02;21;53;20 – 02;22;18;01
Darren
Wake up 3:00. Do your half marathon go work and do your next half marathon. Spend your little amount of time with Miranda, go to sleep, do it again. Some mornings. I didn’t want to wake up, but do you know what that meant? After work? Some of those days, I did a complete marathon yeah.

02;22;18;01 – 02;22;25;06
Jon
Because let me guess that you were on the mornings, you didn’t want to wake up and you didn’t all day. You carried the weight of all that to show up because.

02;22;25;19 – 02;22;31;10
Darren
Yeah, it was kind of just like black to you alive. So it wasn’t even like I was it being myself.

02;22;31;10 – 02;22;31;19
Jon
Of like.

02;22;31;23 – 02;22;51;05
Darren
I can’t believe you didn’t wake up. I knew I was doing it. So I accepted the fade, and I’m just focused on my work throughout the day. And the moment that I clock down it, it was time for some next level shift. And on those days, you know, I had to do that marathon and the final piece of the puzzle.

02;22;51;07 – 02;23;27;11
Darren
I finished up my training by going up Pikes Peak again, but this time with my buddy Joe. And we did a winter ascent. You know, you’re in snow up to your knees are above and we get to I kept promising at the top of this mountain, there’s that building it’s got he got hot coffee and all that. But then we get up there, they close that and but we got up there right as they were closing and they were like, oh, my goodness, do you guys want a ride down on the train?

02;23;27;23 – 02;23;29;28
Darren
They were giving us a free descent down.

02;23;29;29 – 02;23;30;09
Jon
Yeah.

02;23;30;26 – 02;23;32;10
Darren
Because of how treacherous it was.

02;23;32;16 – 02;23;32;25
Jon
Yeah.

02;23;34;16 – 02;23;39;05
Darren
Man, he’s just like me at this point. We said, no fucking way.

02;23;40;29 – 02;23;42;07
Jon
You know, keep your ride.

02;23;42;24 – 02;23;48;11
Darren
We went back down on that mountain on foot and almost lost a few toes in the process.

02;23;50;22 – 02;24;04;22
Darren
But he asked me at the top, he was like, How do you feel? Because I am gassed. I said, I’m exactly how I want to feel right now. It wasn’t even remotely hard. It’s time for the black to run.

02;24;04;29 – 02;24;07;23
Jon
There you go. So that was your signal. Like it to go time?

02;24;07;24 – 02;24;08;06
Darren
Yeah.

02;24;11;26 – 02;24;15;24
Darren
I fly into Louisville, Kentucky.

02;24;19;00 – 02;24;46;15
Darren
On a Thursday. My race starts Friday morning. I I went there specifically to because my cousin months before my cousin Matthew, the one that torture me, and he was going to sign up for the 12 hour race at the black to run like a month before he got hit by a car, actually. But in his car. But he got in there and all this stuff on him.

02;24;46;15 – 02;25;02;28
Darren
I don’t want to be like, oh, I overcame my why didn’t you overcome yours? He’s a savage. He has nothing to prove but he didn’t end up going bad. Or he scheduled the plane ticket to go to Louisville. That way we could ride down together. Okay, so now I have to rent a car. So I was like, Oh, rent a van.

02;25;04;18 – 02;25;24;07
Darren
I show up, I go to the car rental place, and I see the van that I’m supposed to take a big cargo van so I could situate my stuff stretch in there, be able to weather the black to run if I need to be, um, my credit card. Miranda and I have a credit card together. Her name is on that card.

02;25;25;22 – 02;25;32;12
Darren
Your credit card name has to match your ID name to be able to rent this van.

02;25;33;14 – 02;25;34;17
Jon
Oh, oh, oh.

02;25;35;13 – 02;26;19;17
Darren
That’s my only credit card. And they don’t take debit I am stranded in Louisville, Kentucky, and I need to be in Watertown, Tennessee now. So I’m already facing the adversity from this race. If, like, it’s already hidden me testing me, will you give up before you even show up? Basically, and we do a lot of research and the hours go by, I find out that, you know, I could pay with the debit card at the airport if I just show proof that I have a return flight and so I get a car and I just immediately go down there and it’s a Toyota Corolla.

02;26;20;04 – 02;26;20;20
Jon
Not a van.

02;26;20;22 – 02;26;21;15
Darren
Cramped.

02;26;21;22 – 02;26;22;06
Jon
Yeah.

02;26;22;24 – 02;26;26;27
Darren
Completely opposite of what I wanted, but it’s what I get.

02;26;26;27 – 02;26;29;05
Jon
So to hell with it. Yeah.

02;26;29;21 – 02;26;50;27
Darren
So I drive down there. I was like one of the I was the second person there. One of my competitors got there first. Um, I’m getting some stuff situated. I go to sleep in my car. John Harden the race director, rolls up, and he’s like, He’s about to sleep in your car. And it’s just like, yeah, it’s like you’re running 48 hours to sleep.

02;26;50;27 – 02;26;52;27
Darren
In this bunkhouse. I was like, Dealin.

02;26;52;27 – 02;26;54;14
Jon
You’re like, Thank you. Yeah.

02;26;55;13 – 02;27;24;14
Darren
Um, but it was cool. Um, he’s a very interesting cat to be around Shout out at the John Harden because in June, June and July of this year, he’s setting out to break the speed record on the Appalachian Trail. If you don’t know what that is, look it up. He’s an insane man. You know, so in that bunkhouse, he was asking me, you know, what’s your goals for this?

02;27;25;28 – 02;27;55;21
Darren
It’s all about being humble at this race. I couldn’t tell him what I was going to do, so I just saw him. I had, like, some record, uh, goals for the 12 hour portion and the 24 hour portion and then ultimately leading into the 48. But I never told them I’m going to win this thing. Because every year prior that went to the black to run, I never talked about what I had gone through to be there the first.

02;27;55;21 – 02;27;56;14
Jon
Time.

02;27;56;17 – 02;28;14;15
Darren
Or what it meant to me to come back the second time or the third time but then, you know, he leaves me with a few pieces of advice and then I just remember falling right to sleep knowing I’d no fear, not like the night before rain.

02;28;14;21 – 02;28;15;03
Jon
Hmm.

02;28;16;01 – 02;28;47;05
Darren
I’ve gone through so much. That’s why I know that through intense struggle your mind does get stronger. I wasn’t having nightmares. I woke up and I was so in the zone, it was snowing this year. Right away. Yeah, right away. New element, the welcome. And he’s notorious for giving speeches notorious? Yes. His speeches are dark and motivating. They’re awesome.

02;28;47;11 – 02;28;47;20
Jon
Yeah.

02;28;48;03 – 02;28;56;04
Darren
He says, you know something along the lines like you are standing before me because you’re the few.

02;28;57;10 – 02;28;57;22
Jon
Who have.

02;28;58;29 – 02;29;20;01
Darren
Reached this level. And have no fear. And I don’t even remember what he says. I don’t want to butcher it, but basically saying you’re out of the next level, so show what you can do He also called us dumb asses for choosing to do this course for two days straight.

02;29;20;02 – 02;29;24;13
Jon
Yeah, it’s both the races you ran the previous two years together in one go.

02;29;25;00 – 02;29;27;28
Darren
Yes, yes. It’s hard to comprehend.

02;29;27;29 – 02;29;28;08
Jon
Yeah.

02;29;29;06 – 02;29;49;25
Darren
It’s hard to comprehend. It’s a big deal for 48 hours, let alone on this course. It’s terrifying. But that morning, while he was telling the speech and the snow’s coming down, it’s very cold. I was already in that state of mind that I was end up on top of Pikes Peak with no shoes near there.

02;29;50;08 – 02;29;51;22
Jon
Yes, it’s game time.

02;29;52;07 – 02;30;07;24
Darren
Then he says, Go and I remember I was kind of in the middle of the pack because these guys are amazing on paper. Every single one of them were better than me. But my accomplishments weren’t on paper.

02;30;07;27 – 02;30;08;06
Jon
Mm.

02;30;08;25 – 02;30;27;17
Darren
You know, all their great accomplishments were all recorded. I didn’t have many laying and we’ve talked about Goggins quite a lot throughout this and what he means to me uh, one of the guys beat Goggins in a 240 mile race, and now I’m up against this guy.

02;30;28;03 – 02;30;31;13
Jon
Which also just to not run past 240 miles.

02;30;31;17 – 02;30;39;01
Darren
Yes, there’s a lot. That’s what his experiences, you know, my, for this rate, your race to that day.

02;30;39;25 – 02;30;40;05
Jon
Know.

02;30;41;09 – 02;30;50;24
Darren
I did a 30 hour race in Colorado Springs one week after running the black to run for the second time. And I you’re in 80 miles just about.

02;30;50;29 – 02;31;02;05
Jon
So up to this point 80 year for this. Yes so here you are you have some heavy hitters to include one who outran you were like the kind of mentor and hero to do.

02;31;02;05 – 02;31;16;05
Darren
That opened up this world to me it’s given me so much talk about coming full circle I guess it wouldn’t be full circle until I face the man himself but this man happened to be him in a race. How does that not weigh on your mind?

02;31;16;05 – 02;31;18;19
Jon
A little bit has a bit of a taste, a little bit.

02;31;19;16 – 02;31;40;24
Darren
So as soon as John Hardin says go, basically I’m behind that guy and a few others and momentarily for that first 5 minutes, I was thinking, 48 hours look who you’re racing, all this stuff.

02;31;40;29 – 02;31;41;11
Jon
Yeah.

02;31;43;01 – 02;32;13;18
Darren
Then my mind shifted again. They didn’t train like you they didn’t climb Pikes Peak barefoot. They did not run a barefoot marathon just for the mental edge. Every single person has the right to be here. Based on their experience. But as far as I know, they haven’t challenged their minds strictly like they. They’ve done the running. Everybody’s condition I did so much mental training through legitimate, painful suffering over the last year.

02;32;14;19 – 02;32;48;04
Darren
I might just be at the next level that could win. So I pass them, and not one person passed me until the end of the race. You know, I one start to finish surreal. Everything that I had we’ve talked about led up to that moment, all that suffering, the crying reflection on CVS resulted in my first life dream being accomplished.

02;32;49;21 – 02;32;54;21
Darren
Yeah, it was an incredible I was also the first person to touch 100 miles on that course.

02;32;55;25 – 02;32;56;19
Jon
And then you did your own.

02;32;57;14 – 02;33;04;04
Darren
115 total so that’s 30,000 feet of elevation gain.

02;33;04;25 – 02;33;08;00
Jon
23 laps, five mile course. Yeah.

02;33;08;10 – 02;33;13;21
Darren
Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Um, yeah.

02;33;14;03 – 02;33;18;08
Jon
30,000 feet. So you climbed Everest over four.

02;33;18;10 – 02;33;18;21
Darren
Feet over.

02;33;18;25 – 02;33;25;14
Jon
From base to tip. Uh huh. Well running 150 miles over the course of 48 hours and.

02;33;25;14 – 02;33;40;03
Darren
The first day was a it started off snow then it turned into an ice storm, basically insane winds. But you know what, I trained in that good nine degree Colorado weather got that frozen beard.

02;33;40;10 – 02;33;40;17
Jon
Mm.

02;33;40;24 – 02;33;52;25
Darren
Every day for like a month. Those winds felt like the winds on top of Pikes Peak. The several times I had gone up there over the course of the last year, I feel like I’m in my training environment.

02;33;53;04 – 02;33;54;19
Jon
You feel the familiarity of it all?

02;33;54;24 – 02;33;55;07
Darren
Yes.

02;33;55;07 – 02;33;56;12
Jon
Like I took a welcome gift.

02;33;56;12 – 02;34;17;15
Darren
And then I saw the first 48 hour runner go off for another loop and then come back to his vehicle. I was like, Why did you forget it? Because I hadn’t started my next lap yet. This was the first night of darkness in the snow storm, and it’s the winds have picked up. He’s so cold, man. I don’t care what you’re wearing.

02;34;17;15 – 02;34;49;20
Darren
It’s cutting through so you can’t wear too much of running. You will overheat in these mountains. So let’s find that nice balance that he comes up. He’s like, I’m tired of this shit. I need to stop putting myself through this. This is way too much. The environment crumbled his mind. Yeah, and I watched the first guy drop off and I found so much strength in that, but I didn’t want him to drop.

02;34;49;20 – 02;35;12;00
Darren
I, I encourage them. I was like, dude, just put on another layer and we’ll go out together. I wanted to keep them going, but it wasn’t enough so that was my first taste that, wow, I am in kind of rare air right now because this only just dropped off, but I’m still going. And then it just keeps going on and on and on.

02;35;12;06 – 02;35;21;05
Darren
And then it was very apparent that I was going to be the first person to do 100 on this course. Of course somebody was going to do it, one of us, because we’re running for two days.

02;35;21;06 – 02;35;21;15
Jon
Yeah.

02;35;21;20 – 02;35;24;11
Darren
The furthest on this course in 24 hours was 85.

02;35;24;21 – 02;35;27;11
Jon
Okay. Which is cooking. Holy moly. It is.

02;35;27;26 – 02;35;53;19
Darren
Um, they had people who have set speed records on parts of the Appalachian Trail come and race this thing because the goal is always to get to 100 miles and 24 hmm. No one’s ever done it. So I was the first to do it in this two day span and everybody was talking about how insane it was. And it was so surreal for me because of my back story with this race.

02;35;55;00 – 02;36;01;05
Darren
I was like, of course it’s to me not to be cocky or anything. It was just, this feels like my race.

02;36;01;20 – 02;36;03;09
Jon
Yeah. Like it was made for this circumstance.

02;36;03;09 – 02;36;34;19
Darren
I was yes, it was reserved for me. Of course, I’m and of course I’m the one that won the first 48 hour black to run and then, you know, I’m Mark my last lap and I sit down because you’re marking your lap times at this barn at the end of the loop. That’s where the race directors that the helpers and all that, they’re keeping you hyped up after every lap because they know that you just went through the wringer.

02;36;36;12 – 02;36;54;12
Darren
I remember just sitting on the concrete slab on that barn looking out over, over that farm that takes place on and for the first time and all the times that I’ve gone to the black to run, even though is notorious for the weather, it was sunny and warm that morning.

02;36;56;21 – 02;37;07;16
Darren
That universe thing we were talking about. And I felt like it was shining on me and giving me this moment I could feel the energy. It was crazy.

02;37;10;08 – 02;37;10;29
Darren
And here we are.

02;37;11;12 – 02;37;12;02
Jon
And here we are.

02;37;13;13 – 02;37;16;21
Darren
Finally happy for the first time in my life, like true happiness.

02;37;17;15 – 02;37;42;03
Jon
You know, it’s cool also because you came back and I heard a shorter version of your story. So it’s been fun to be able to go into this much depth because you were addressing the company we work for during one of our get togethers. And that was really powerful. And it was cool also because even though you weren’t seeking it any longer and you’d accomplish this for yourself, I was kind of like a second moment of your family seeing you.

02;37;42;23 – 02;37;51;14
Jon
It was everyone you worked with in your community, like the standing ovation and pouring out of support because of your story.

02;37;51;26 – 02;38;14;17
Darren
And I showed up to work the next week, but at the end of the week on Friday, we do trainings on Friday mornings, so we were all in this classroom. In the very end, we all get out the walkout. My supervisor, Andrew, calls us all back in. He specifically yells for me and he says, You know, oftentimes people do amazing things.

02;38;14;17 – 02;38;40;19
Darren
They go above and beyond every day. But one person went way beyond, and I don’t want it to go unnoticed. And then, you know, I wasn’t prepared for this. I’m not much of a speaker, honestly, like I’ve I’ve had like anxiety this whole time that we’ve been on the mic because on me is just like, I want you to share what you did over the weekend and up to this point, people have heard of the challenges that I was doing, like all the barefoot stuff.

02;38;41;10 – 02;39;07;28
Darren
I thought I was just like some bad ass or something. I don’t even know that. I just had this reputation of doing these hard things that people would kind of joke about it. Nobody knew how I started, and I didn’t even go into the childhood stuff and all that build up. I know even CVS, I started at the car crash on and there were some guys and tears and Andrew was very moved.

02;39;07;28 – 02;39;17;08
Darren
And later that day he asked me to lunch with some of the other leadership, and because they wanted to dove deeper into that because they weren’t expecting that.

02;39;19;06 – 02;39;39;08
Jon
And that’s part of the transition that we’re seeing now. Right? So you can push one of your three life goals. Yes. And you’re starting to see you’ve won. You secured for yourself the man you want to be. Yeah. And now you’re on the journey and you’re happy for the first time of your life. Truly happy for the first time in your life.

02;39;39;08 – 02;39;49;03
Jon
So you’re going through this transformation and that journey. So mid step, obviously, but you’re not done yet. So what’s what’s life like now?

02;39;52;03 – 02;39;52;25
Darren
It’s amazing.

02;39;55;02 – 02;40;10;18
Darren
It is truly amazing because for years it was just all of all this. I knew what I was building up to after that first rock climb. And I knew that there was something to this it just felt right.

02;40;10;24 – 02;40;11;05
Jon
Mhm.

02;40;12;14 – 02;40;31;17
Darren
Ever since then, I’ve just had this unbelievable confidence in my dreams. So but it’s existed in my mind. And with the few people around me, my close knit group and everybody else in the dark, no social media presence, nobody at work even knows the real me.

02;40;33;28 – 02;40;52;13
Darren
But then I did this and I shared it at work because Andrew wanted me to, and then he asked me to lunch, and then they ultimately asked me to speak this message in front of the whole company because they feel like there’s some value in it for others because others in the company have gone through a really hard time in the past year.

02;40;53;26 – 02;41;16;04
Darren
Some of the lost a little bit of hope. I losses. And that was a weird moment for me because I was like, this has always been so personal. You know, I made a pact with myself. I don’t want anybody to be a part of this. If I’m going to make it through. Because you described to me the other day, it’s like almost like I’ve gone up the mountain and now I’ve returned to share a little bit of it.

02;41;16;21 – 02;41;50;13
Darren
So that’s why I’m opening up now. And speaking in front of that whole company was such a big moment for me because even though it was just our company, I got to share this thing that’s existed in my mind for so long. That was a way that I think that was even more powerful to me than winning the black to run itself, because I got to see people get something out of that message and then you come into the picture and ask me to do this.

02;41;51;22 – 02;42;19;17
Darren
So of course, over the last week I’ve been a little sick to my stomach because I’m like, This is the deep dove. This is something that I could share with my new nephew. My soon to be niece, maybe some future children, and anybody else that happens to cross the theories path. Uh, how do I portray this thing that’s been existing in my mind for so many years and how I do it properly?

02;42;21;15 – 02;42;26;29
Darren
And I think we’ve done a pretty good job of dissecting the mind.

02;42;28;18 – 02;42;51;25
Jon
It’s been a blast. I do think if you’re up for it, I’m curious if you’re willing to share what you’re working on now, because so much of what you just mentioned at the end is this transformation of isolation proving itself to succeeding in that. And now having learned so much and having done these things, there’s a hunger that you’ve seen.

02;42;51;27 – 02;43;12;26
Jon
Right. And you’re welcome for the last week of indigestion to hear this story. And that’s because it’s powerful and that’s because it inspires action. Right. And it taps into a unique group of people because a lot of people have our times. A lot of people go through hell that they put themselves into without knowing how to escape. Yeah, right.

02;43;12;26 – 02;43;36;08
Jon
And that is your journey into hopelessness. Yeah. And you get to I think I think you have the opportunity to be able to help and like that. And as you keep sharing and pursuing your own life, just natural happens to just that awareness. You know, at this point, you’re earning things that are producing some level of responsibility and new challenges that couldn’t even be fathomed before.

02;43;36;19 – 02;43;53;19
Jon
Right? Yeah. And not just in the physical and the mental and emotional in the share in the in a relational so it’s kind of fun, man. And I’m super grateful to be part of this journey with you in that you would excepting come out here in the middle of the country and roll around and get choked for a little while and have some fun.

02;43;53;22 – 02;43;58;13
Darren
Yeah. Um, I’m happy to share it with what I’m working on right now.

02;43;58;20 – 02;43;58;28
Jon
Cool.

02;44;00;12 – 02;44;12;04
Darren
And it was spawned out of injury from the black two. If you don’t mind, I’d like to read you this little thing I wrote about the black toe leading into that race, and it will give a little build up for what I’m doing now.

02;44;12;05 – 02;44;13;01
Jon
Okay, please.

02;44;14;00 – 02;44;20;13
Darren
Because I had to fully understand that race to be able to overcome it. So this is what I wrote going into it.

02;44;20;25 – 02;44;25;05
Jon
Going into the black to so this would be the win. Okay, this is before you went to win.

02;44;25;14 – 02;44;25;26
Darren
Yes.

02;44;26;00 – 02;44;26;08
Jon
Okay.

02;44;26;10 – 02;44;32;28
Darren
Before I was rehearsing this, I was reading it over and over and over and reminding myself what this race is.

02;44;33;13 – 02;44;34;05
Jon
Leading up to it.

02;44;34;05 – 02;45;06;05
Darren
Like on the plane, I was just got over and over. Your best efforts don’t warrant recognition you’re entitled mind what would result in a broken mind. You must transcend your already heightened mindset if you have one. But even this probably won’t be enough because others will reach that level to slick, powerful man. Because like I wrote this before, but even if you manage to win, you don’t deserve shit.

02;45;06;15 – 02;45;14;11
Darren
Other than personal gain, no money, no award ceremony. Because victory here is not meant to be a finish line.

02;45;18;23 – 02;45;51;27
Darren
This is purely a showcase of your inhumane ability to endure. You will hurt you will continue to hurt. Then you will hurt so much more. You will be forced to find your true potential or the warm fire will find you at this race. The fire means you’ve quit. Gotcha. Because this company comfort has no place here. Unless your comfort is the discomfort, anything short of excellence will be defeat.

02;45;52;12 – 02;46;39;00
Darren
And even excellence probably will result in injury. In short, the black children always wins. However, if you choose to endure if you embody everything this race represents, you will leave forever changed. And maybe, just maybe, a champion and I fully embody it, every word of that. And I pulled it off. Congratulations and the tell the tale. But what I the reason I read that is because there’s that part in there when I talk about how even excellence will probably result in injury and not even one day into that race pretty much the same knee problem that I had to look out mountain after slipping off the edge and little Cliff came back.

02;46;39;29 – 02;47;04;07
Darren
I couldn’t just run down hills anymore, but I also couldn’t show that pain anybody because as soon as they know that the guy on first is hurt, it’s on That’s the mental fuel that they might need to win. So every time I cross someone’s path, I had to be like, Oh, I’m doing pretty good. As time went on, I’d see the the guys that weren’t on my tail, I’d like slapped some people on.

02;47;04;07 – 02;47;09;21
Darren
I’d be like, I would let a little bit of that come out. Yeah. Just ask him for, like, some ibuprofen or something.

02;47;10;15 – 02;47;12;28
Jon
So you start playing psychological warfare with your competitors.

02;47;13;06 – 02;47;14;16
Darren
But they were doing it to me too.

02;47;14;17 – 02;47;14;27
Jon
Yeah.

02;47;15;17 – 02;47;37;28
Darren
Um, sidenote the dude that was my main competitor. His name is Justin. Ford. Shout out to him. He was the demon on my back for two days straight, and I was the demon in front of him for two days straight. Yeah, it was highly competitive. We cross each other’s paths one time, I believe, and we just talked and we talked about the goals.

02;47;38;14 – 02;48;03;07
Darren
He said his goal was just to get to 100 miles. This isn’t as a race thing. He’s calling it quits. I couldn’t afford to believe that because I shortly after he told me that he got injured and I heard about it. So obviously I got that mental gain because he was sharing. But he ran with that injury, passed 100.

02;48;03;20 – 02;48;21;06
Darren
So I’m glad I didn’t listen to him because I think he was hoping that I would quit at 102 because I said that that’s my goal cause I was doing the same thing to him. We both went the same amount of distance. I just did it a little bit faster, but ultimately the point there was I got injured in day one.

02;48;21;14 – 02;48;21;22
Jon
Yeah.

02;48;22;28 – 02;48;58;05
Darren
I’m like a fourth of the way through and I’m beyond messed up and I continue running on that injury I return to Colorado and I try to run that same 30 hour race later in the year before just like weeks after the black run when I was like, I want to keep this going. I just won this great life dream, a pretty respected ultra um, maybe I could do some more and ultra maybe I could win this 30 hour race, not even a quarter mile.

02;48;58;05 – 02;49;02;21
Darren
And that knee injury came right back. Something was severely wrong.

02;49;02;26 – 02;49;03;07
Jon
Um.

02;49;03;22 – 02;49;07;10
Darren
Black toe did hurt me, regardless of excellence.

02;49;07;14 – 02;49;07;22
Jon
Mm.

02;49;08;12 – 02;49;30;23
Darren
I was very injured and I endured that for like seven or 8 hours and I only went 20 miles before I was, I had to stop it because I was like, man, this race means almost nothing to me. And I am beyond injured. I know I could limp for the next, you know, 22 hours, but what am I going to get out of it that I didn’t get the black toe run?

02;49;30;23 – 02;49;55;29
Darren
So I chose to stop. So I went from winning this incredible thing to losing bid. Didn’t matter. So I have no finish line so it’s like, I’ll be back. But from there it was like that injury, that adversity forced me to stop thinking like an ultra runner. And go back to where I started. The point was just to find more of myself.

02;49;56;05 – 02;49;56;16
Jon
Hmm.

02;49;56;26 – 02;50;06;21
Darren
It doesn’t matter. The challenge doesn’t matter if it’s a rock climb, Jacob’s ladder, a bike or run for about that mental growth.

02;50;06;22 – 02;50;08;14
Jon
So it almost redirected you back home.

02;50;08;14 – 02;50;20;21
Darren
Yes. So I rediscovered swimming and I found a a ten case swim this year in Castle Rock that I’m going to do is the highest altitude ten swim in America.

02;50;20;21 – 02;50;21;17
Jon
So nice and chilly.

02;50;22;01 – 02;50;26;08
Darren
Very chilly. I found cycling again.

02;50;26;18 – 02;50;26;28
Jon
Okay.

02;50;27;03 – 02;50;34;07
Darren
So this year I will be cycling up Mount Evans, which is near Denver.

02;50;34;07 – 02;50;34;24
Jon
And it’s.

02;50;35;09 – 02;50;39;22
Darren
Pretty much the third 14,000 foot peak like Pikes Peak is for us in Colorado Springs.

02;50;42;15 – 02;51;04;18
Darren
But I also found that I could train on the Stairmaster and whenever I move to Colorado, one of the first things that I did was the Manitou Springs Incline. And I made a mental book bookmark about that. So I was like, I’m going to come back to this because I feel like there’s a lot to be learned on this mountain.

02;51;06;03 – 02;51;24;16
Darren
More specifically, I wanted to break the 24 hour incline record going up and down as many times as possible and 24 hours. The incline is very nasty because it climbs 2000 feet in point eight miles that’s insane.

02;51;24;29 – 02;51;26;00
Jon
It’s a vertical climb.

02;51;26;03 – 02;51;39;11
Darren
Yes. So discovering that I could do the Stairmaster hard without that knee flaring up like it does whenever I run.

02;51;39;16 – 02;51;39;25
Jon
I’m.

02;51;40;19 – 02;52;10;27
Darren
Reignited that thought I took that bookmark out of my mind. I said, I’m going to do the 24 hour attempt I started training and I was completely uninspired. This time. I don’t know what it is but my mind shifted to the ultimate goal that could be achieved on the incline, I believe, which is the speed record for the ascent.

02;52;11;04 – 02;52;44;11
Darren
Just to the top. It has stood for seven years and it was set by Joseph Gray seven years ago. Seven or eight, I can’t remember. It stood for a long time because it was set by an Olympic athlete and nobody can touch it what if I could go from racing 48 hour races and use that new mindset that I have towards Ultra, but apply it to something completely out of my comfort zone?

02;52;46;02 – 02;52;56;25
Darren
Because running for days entitles a lot different of a mindset than basically sprinting up a mountain in like 16 minutes.

02;52;57;00 – 02;52;57;07
Jon
Yeah.

02;52;57;17 – 02;53;24;15
Darren
But what I do know is it’s just suffering. And what I do now is I’m not competing against an Olympian. His time is there. My time is significantly lower that I’m aiming for it’s just me versus me. I’m just applying that ultra mindset to a much shorter event. No shortage of suffering whatsoever. But what if I could do this.

02;53;25;05 – 02;53;30;10
Jon
I mean, that’s the power of what if and of us facing ourselves. Yeah.

02;53;31;09 – 02;54;00;12
Darren
And going from the guy who had such a dark mode and CVEs and never thought much of himself to be able to publicly announce that I want to beat an Olympic record on the most extreme trail in America. That’s that’s quite the shift, I think. And I think it would be pretty powerful if I do it. And it’s in my mind, it’s inevitable.

02;54;00;12 – 02;54;11;05
Darren
It’s just another another one of those dreams. And this one is my fourth life dream, because that’s so significant. It’s not just the goal.

02;54;11;16 – 02;54;33;03
Jon
You know, it’s a big one. It’s a big one. Yeah. So all of that leads us to today and a glimpse into the future. You have some fun things to play around with back and cycling back in the pool or the lake. And the goal that you’re really aiming for right now is your knee heals is to break the speed record on the main two incline.

02;54;33;11 – 02;54;56;13
Darren
Yes. Also, there’s different layers of this. If I become great at that, if I can pull that off, I’ll be very conditioned for these mountain races. I’m going to be doing this here. But that also leads me up to the end of the year. When I race my one of my best friends, Joe, the one in Denver, Joe Falls, shout out.

02;54;58;02 – 02;54;58;17
Jon
He.

02;54;58;26 – 02;55;09;10
Darren
Uh, challenge me to the Arizona Ironman, and I will be racing him in November and I want to kick his ass. And I know that he wants to kick mine.

02;55;09;21 – 02;55;11;16
Jon
Finally found a worthy rival. Yeah.

02;55;12;00 – 02;55;39;08
Darren
We want the best for each other. Yep. But that’s a great level of competition. But also, if I can become the best mountain racer that I possibly can this year, maybe, just maybe, I could return to the black to run and break the 100 mile record or 100 mile dream in 24 hours because no one’s ever done it and that’s a mountain race.

02;55;40;17 – 02;55;41;17
Jon
So it’s all pointing.

02;55;42;03 – 02;55;43;24
Darren
There’s levels to this stuff.

02;55;43;25 – 02;55;44;08
Jon
Yeah.

02;55;45;14 – 02;55;46;17
Darren
Which keep me inspired.

02;55;46;25 – 02;55;52;00
Jon
And that’s what I was going to say. It would be terrible if there was a finish line. Yeah.

02;55;53;08 – 02;56;13;09
Darren
Absolutely. I’m going to do this stuff until the day I die. Because it’s given me so much. The last three and a half years of my life have been so significant compared to the 22. Prior to that I’m just 26, but I feel like I’ve lived like three lifetimes already.

02;56;15;26 – 02;56;29;02
Darren
I’m going to keep this thing going and that’s why I was excited to come out here and dabble in your world. It’s suffering, just like I suffer so I knew I’d like it. I knew that you would enjoy seeing me get strangled.

02;56;30;24 – 02;57;06;14
Jon
What I found Joy in is introduce and you do something I believe you would truly love that’s it. That’s what I found the joy in. And it was that. And it it’s a weird teleport station device to some of those mindset places. You know, if you’re training with the right person at the right level, like at a specific level with the specific philosophy and mind set in mind, in all defining the end state, then you can transport yourself in a cool way.

02;57;06;15 – 02;57;10;19
Jon
So I’m glad to have had the privilege to introduce it to you and plant that seed.

02;57;11;12 – 02;57;18;02
Darren
Just like with that incline two years ago, I put the the bookmark in my mind because I knew I’d revisit it.

02;57;18;18 – 02;57;19;17
Jon
Do you feel that way about this?

02;57;21;02 – 02;57;34;20
Darren
There is no finish line but you just to know. And that’s the way I live my life. So I could see after reaching these life dreams, maybe dabbling in it. Cool. Now even maybe it’s going to be up.

02;57;34;21 – 02;57;37;26
Jon
Probably you just got to get some work done.

02;57;37;26 – 02;57;57;05
Darren
That was legitimate struggle that I’m not used to. I’m used to that I am used to struggle. But that was like I’m not used to getting my, my neck choked out. I’m used to like just battling environmental elements in my own doing so having another man inflict damage. It’s pretty interesting.

02;57;58;23 – 02;57;59;07
Jon
Yes.

02;58;00;22 – 02;58;07;02
Darren
That’s what I respect about your pursuit. I see why you pursue it. I see why our body perceives it to.

02;58;07;04 – 02;58;27;17
Jon
Yeah, but at the swim as a gift man on holy crud. We’re coming up on 3 hours. But I would love the way. Yeah, we’re coming up on 3 hours. But I would absolutely love, you know, years from now when you’ve had some fun continuing on your journey to sit back down and chat if you’re interested.

02;58;28;05 – 02;58;28;24
Darren
Any time.

02;58;29;05 – 02;58;31;24
Jon
Any parting thoughts, or you get to just put this one up.

02;58;34;14 – 02;58;52;26
Darren
I think I’m good to split this one out, but I want the theme of this particular Grit Theory podcast to be adversity is just a test. It’s not a restraint if you think otherwise, start restraining that mindset.