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040. TGT: Not Sexy, But Effective _ Personal Contracts

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Episode 40 from The Grit Theory. Today we discuss the lessons learned from the past 110 days, how the personal challenges have transformed into character cultivating contracts, and what the future holds.Highlights include: -550+ 5k’s ran, 420 additional hours claimed, sovereignty over bad habits achieved-A tool to become a better version of yourself-Its not a war against yourself-Learning how to incorporate the good and the bad -Lifestyle change-What you can do-The next 100 daysIf you found value in the show please SHARE IT with someone you care about as well as SUBSCRIBE and RATE IT with a 5-Star Review! Ready to dive deeper? Visit ULAUniverse.com to explore more of the impactful work we're doing. Don't forget to use code 'BERELENTLESS' at checkout to enjoy a 10% discount sitewide!Do you have a question for us, want to be on the show, or have a recommendation for a guest or topic? CONTACT US HERE.We are grateful you joined us! Be Relentless is a Forge Publications LLC production and is proudly co-branded with the Universal Learning Approach. Copyright 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Episode 40 from The Grit Theory. 

Today we discuss the lessons learned from the past 110 days, how the personal challenges have transformed into character cultivating contracts, and what the future holds.

Highlights include: 

-550+ 5k’s ran, 420 additional hours claimed, sovereignty over bad habits achieved
-A tool to become a better version of yourself
-Its not a war against yourself
-Learning how to incorporate the good and the bad
-Lifestyle change
-What you can do
-The next 100 days

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Also, check out Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be waymakers HERE.

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The Book: Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be WayMakers.

The Podcast: “Be Relentless Podcast”

The Fuel: Sisu Stamina, Performance Evolved

Linktree: Here.


Episode Transcript

00;00;10;26 – 00;00;12;08

Jon Mayo

Hello, Lindsay. How are you doing today?

00;00;12;19 – 00;00;15;00

Lindsey Mayo

I’m doing well. I think.

00;00;16;26 – 00;00;17;21

Jon Mayo

Life continues.

00;00;18;05 – 00;00;18;21

Lindsey Mayo

That it does.

00;00;19;29 – 00;00;42;06

Jon Mayo

So kind of exciting. A 110 day journey is over now, for we’re on the second day since its completion, and at least for me. And today we’re going to talk about not just the last hundred and ten days and the contract I did with myself. We mentioned personal contracts a lot. They start as challenges, you know, growth points, things like that.

00;00;43;02 – 00;00;53;23

Jon Mayo

But really, this last year, right, because Thanksgiving just happened. And last Thanksgiving of 2020, we kind of got on.

00;00;53;24 – 00;00;55;11

Lindsey Mayo

A lot of year. Yeah.

00;00;55;11 – 00;01;15;05

Jon Mayo

Yeah. The great Billy Walker and myself, he wanted to do some crazy work out there, wants to be for Thanksgiving. So we did it. It was a Goggins workout that kind of lit this crazy fuel mindset thing of like, Well, maybe I should start these challenges. And there’s like 21 day challenges and 30 day challenges and 50 day challenges and hundred day challenges and all the stuff.

00;01;15;05 – 00;01;31;25

Jon Mayo

And now all of a sudden I’m looking back at over 300 days of contracts. I transformed them from challenges to contracts with myself, but over 300 days of contracts being fulfilled in the last year, and most recently.

00;01;33;15 – 00;02;01;23

Lindsey Mayo

When we’ve been reflecting on not necessarily even just the nitty gritty of the challenges and the contracts, because we just tried to go through them and we were like, Wait, but you added this one and then made this one harder, Just the different things like that. But really, what has it done to you through character, through mental, you know, ability or stamina and not even like there was a lot of physical aspects of that.

00;02;01;29 – 00;02;10;22

Lindsey Mayo

But really, what did it do inside you as a human being? As a lot of the conversation that I really feel like is really worth diving into.

00;02;11;10 – 00;02;15;18

Jon Mayo

Yeah, that’s incredibly fair. And I think for context, there’s a few details I’d like to share.

00;02;15;23 – 00;02;16;14

Lindsey Mayo

Oh, absolutely.

00;02;16;15 – 00;02;24;28

Jon Mayo

And and part of it’s because it didn’t start with the aim of cultivating character.

00;02;25;02 – 00;02;25;24

Lindsey Mayo

No, it didn’t.

00;02;25;24 – 00;02;59;16

Jon Mayo

But that is definitively the purpose now of these contracts and you know, Saturday. So when I’m recording this, it’s Monday the 29th of November. So Saturday the 27th, we were going to come back home from Utah, so woke up extra early, completed all the requirements for the last contract, got in the car, drove and went to bed, finished out the contract and completion, and the last 110 days has been spent doing a5k every day, five K plus runners, 3.2 miles and of 3.1.

00;03;02;10 – 00;03;02;24

Lindsey Mayo

Y.

00;03;03;29 – 00;03;25;01

Jon Mayo

One mostly there. So there’s 110 days because last winter I did 100 day contract with myself where I wanted to do the five K day for hundred days and on day 55, the whole winter 55 thing we’ve talked about, right. I had to adjust the means to get to the target because of injury and concern of significant injury.

00;03;25;03 – 00;03;33;17

Jon Mayo

Yeah, and I wanted to double down on that and prove that I could pay any cost overcome without injury. Right.

00;03;33;23 – 00;03;41;20

Lindsey Mayo

And for some humor thrown in here, why is it 3.2 miles, not a standard five K 3.1.

00;03;42;10 – 00;03;59;25

Jon Mayo

Because so there’s a site. So on my normal route, there’s like the sign that’s 3.1, but in my mind. So the first time I ran the route, I did it with Billy and with Aaron and we got to the sign there, got this three point line. But the entire time out I had this other pole in my mind that’s like, that’s the turnaround point.

00;04;00;17 – 00;04;07;16

Jon Mayo

So it’s like, no, no, it’s that poor. And we went and by the time we got back, it was 3.2. So I just kind of stuck with that forever.

00;04;07;21 – 00;04;29;22

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah. It’s been your running point ever since then. In fact, to the point where we take the boys to school every morning and many of the teachers will comment, Oh, I saw you running this morning, or your parents will be like, Oh, I did see him out there and his shorts and no shirt running and his lights. And it’s been really entertaining to strike up lots of different conversation on it because you run on the road right next to the house.

00;04;29;22 – 00;04;36;02

Lindsey Mayo

So it’s a I mean, it’s a decently busy road, so it’s not like it’s, you know, some dirt road that nobody’s watching you on.

00;04;37;01 – 00;04;43;15

Jon Mayo

Yeah, I guess there are people I have to interact with there and try not to get hit by and things like that. And it is fun though, because. Well, I.

00;04;43;15 – 00;05;16;23

Lindsey Mayo

Also think it’s really cool too, because try not to cut you off. Sorry, but you and Aaron always talked about how when you do these types of things, it’s affecting other people and other people are seeing and watching you do these things, even though you’re not necessarily like consciously aware. And I think that’s a great point to even just be like, Wow, this is really good imagery right here to be able to see that, you know, sometimes people you don’t even necessarily know extremely well are watching you and almost expect to see you every morning as part of their routine.

00;05;17;01 – 00;05;17;23

Jon Mayo

Mm hmm.

00;05;17;23 – 00;05;18;09

Lindsey Mayo

I think it’s cool.

00;05;19;21 – 00;05;21;04

Jon Mayo

Yeah, I haven’t thought about that way.

00;05;21;12 – 00;05;22;19

Lindsey Mayo

It’s different. Rabbit trail. Sorry.

00;05;22;20 – 00;05;45;15

Jon Mayo

No, it’s good. There’s nothing to be sorry for. Let’s stop apologizing. But the, you know, the thing that’s interesting is each of these contracts that has made them kind of unique over time and I think this is some of going is they are tools that I’m using to attack what makes me afraid, what makes me uncomfortable, what makes me unsettled so that I can cultivate something stronger of myself.

00;05;45;15 – 00;06;07;21

Jon Mayo

That’s why I do them. That’s why I have continued to develop them. And as I’ve thought more about them and had more conversations with people, I realized that these are how I am choosing to cultivate character myself one, and to ensure that I’m truly experiencing life. You know, this isn’t like a product or service or a gift to myself.

00;06;08;01 – 00;06;33;13

Jon Mayo

It’s a means to fully, unintentionally take responsibility for my actions daily and experience life as intentionally and fully as possible. And that’s played out in some interesting ways. So, you know, starting this thing off 112 days ago, there was the five K, there was waking up at 4 a.m. because waking up before five really sucked for me and I didn’t want to do it.

00;06;34;05 – 00;06;53;25

Jon Mayo

And I wanted to conquer that myself. And then there is also this trading system. It’s like a bartering system with myself where I could drink alcohol, but every drink costs me a certain number of calories on an assault bike as well. Or I could do an additional five K to kind of make up this whole bartering system I made with myself to kind of pay the fee, if you will.

00;06;53;28 – 00;06;54;25

Lindsey Mayo

Right.

00;06;54;25 – 00;07;14;04

Jon Mayo

And I realized I kind of knew it was coming right as I was going through this thing. But I had made this determination that I would not give up, like I would not stop running this time. I’d do whatever it took to get to my intended target because it wasn’t the running the five K every day that really meant anything to me.

00;07;14;12 – 00;07;56;01

Jon Mayo

It was what it was causing me to change in myself and how I perceived the world and how I perceived myself and interacted with you and the boys and everything. It was forcing change that permeated far beyond just going out and doing a couple of miles with the margins is nothing. But because of the injuries that were already there from the previous time and because of these other things I’ve realized fairly early on, like around the month mark, I wasn’t going to make it to the 110 day mark if something that changed the load on my body from the additional miles and cycling from drinking was too much with the run for the injuries that

00;07;56;01 – 00;08;23;07

Jon Mayo

were still fairly recent, it was also the inflammation of all that sugar and all that alcohol was also causing issues. So I came to this point where on September 4th I realized as I was running, I would either have to stop drinking and do whatever it frickin took beyond that to ensure that I was, you know, stretching and recovering properly, sleeping properly, going to bed early enough, my diet was healthy enough, all these things to get to this target.

00;08;23;07 – 00;08;41;04

Jon Mayo

And the entire purpose of this last contract was, am I willing to do what it takes to stick with it and go the distance? That was the it was a mini experiment, a hypothesis for myself, kind of like, you know, we have the grit, the urine, all these other things. Can I do it on a micro scale? And I chose to write.

00;08;41;06 – 00;08;52;10

Jon Mayo

So from September 4th, I didn’t drink a drop start stretching more differently, watched my diet more and things like that, and learned a lot about myself over the rest of the contract.

00;08;52;16 – 00;09;17;27

Lindsey Mayo

Well, that first you did you did find yourself like within that first week of not drinking you did want more sugar because alcohol does convert to sugar in your body and it’s almost like your brain was telling you you needed it. And then the other thing too, that I found that was really interesting that you’ve commented on a lot is how you have felt buzzed or in a sense drunk when you’ve not had any alcohol.

00;09;18;05 – 00;09;44;10

Lindsey Mayo

And I think that was something to be really aware of. And I thought it was really interesting to just like not not interesting to watch you, but interesting to have you realize that your mind is already trying to numb yourself in general when you get into productive up flows, if you want to call it that. But that alcohol makes it that much harder for you to push further than you’re capabilities right now.

00;09;44;16 – 00;09;52;29

Lindsey Mayo

And I think that was something that was really interesting to kind of, you know, be aware of and discover. And I thought it was yeah, I thought it was interesting.

00;09;52;29 – 00;10;06;24

Jon Mayo

Well, like in full transparency, the drinking thing was a big deal for me, right? I started drinking. I was 13 and it was a normal part of my life from that point forward. And I then went to college drinking, you know, after university joined the Army.

00;10;06;27 – 00;10;12;04

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah, there’s a it’s like a good old boys society.

00;10;12;04 – 00;10;29;02

Jon Mayo

Well, that there’s a lot of alcohol consumed in military. So I fit right in and I did good. And, and then, you know, we went to live in places where there are bourbon clubs and all these things. So like drinking has just been normal life and I could put it down. And it was such a normal part of my life that I was a height.

00;10;29;05 – 00;10;48;26

Jon Mayo

The way I look at it is I was a highly functioning alcoholic. I had like ultra high functioning alcoholic, but I didn’t want to go a day without drinking. If I could, I could say, no, not. But I was also very good at persuading myself into and it was at the point where I knew I was not happy with this habit, and that was creation.

00;10;48;26 – 00;11;10;22

Jon Mayo

So when I decided to stop, I was giving up, you know, most of my memories of as an adult through being a child when I was 13, of having this consistent companion and routine and rhythm and ritual and everything that went with drinking. So it was kind of like this bigger moment of what am I going to do right?

00;11;10;22 – 00;11;20;05

Jon Mayo

Like if I stop drinking, am I going to lose friends that I drinking? Am I going to be come a social? Because I kind of relied on it to be more social and social events, right?

00;11;20;09 – 00;11;21;27

Lindsey Mayo

Your life Social to begin with.

00;11;22;13 – 00;11;26;00

Jon Mayo

Yeah, well, that I learned. But you know, there’s all those fears.

00;11;26;00 – 00;11;32;09

Lindsey Mayo

It also helped you really assess if functions were worth attending or not.

00;11;32;26 – 00;11;52;22

Jon Mayo

Well, and that’s that’s where I think we get to the benefits. So there’s all this fear going into it. There’s the realization it took the failure of the first time, everything else to come to this point, we’re on September 4th. I’m running I think I did a 15 K run that day in the sun and I was like, Nope, no matter what the cost, like for myself personally, I felt a conviction and a calling to give it up finally.

00;11;53;23 – 00;12;03;25

Lindsey Mayo

And you had had like soft challenges in the aspect of like, I’m not soft, like a weak, but like, oh, I won’t drink for this amount of days. Yeah. You know.

00;12;04;00 – 00;12;05;13

Jon Mayo

I’ve always had the discipline not to.

00;12;05;13 – 00;12;15;12

Lindsey Mayo

Correct. And so that’s why I call it like a soft chocolate. I never said it was never a Yeah, I’m going to give it up completely for longer than like 21 days I think is what it was.

00;12;15;12 – 00;12;25;15

Jon Mayo

It was like fab dieting. Yeah, but it wasn’t lifestyle change and it doesn’t work when you do that. So you know all that to say there is it looking back. That was the biggest shift for.

00;12;25;15 – 00;12;42;00

Lindsey Mayo

Me, right? I’m I guess my point to say all that was it wasn’t just like this, Oh, let’s try this out. It was like a building aspect of like, no, this is really ruining what I’m trying to to achieve. So that’s why I was mentioning that it is degrading.

00;12;42;00 – 00;13;01;16

Jon Mayo

And there’s this really interesting thing because there’s always a pleasure source. And four months prior to this, right, and contracts before 110 day one, I had been doing this bartering system right on the bike, the salt bike where I had to do a certain number of calories per drink and stuff. So I was teaching myself to associate what was pleasurable for most of my life to costly, right?

00;13;01;17 – 00;13;08;04

Jon Mayo

And then I was starting to realize like, you know, you we’d have dinner, I’d have a couple drinks after a long day of work.

00;13;08;08 – 00;13;15;16

Lindsey Mayo

Or it wasn’t worth it because you’d be tired and you’re like, Now I’m waking up early tomorrow and I have all these extra things to do, and you’re like, Oh, I’ll just skip it tonight.

00;13;15;25 – 00;13;32;17

Jon Mayo

Yeah. So there’s all that going into it and, and I think like very thoroughly I’ve been transparent and vulnerable on some of the things that some people may not be comfortable sharing about themselves. But, you know, I identified some that didn’t like myself and yada yada, yada, ultimately made the choice to pay that price. And here’s the cool thing.

00;13;32;17 – 00;13;53;09

Jon Mayo

The lessons learned, the fruit of giving that up and staying the course with it through my birthday, through Thanksgiving, which was really challenging because we were also traveling and visiting family. And I’m so grateful I stuck with it didn’t because I needed my wits about me to to be present. Right, and all these other things. There are some really funny learnings.

00;13;53;09 – 00;14;11;09

Jon Mayo

Like you said, I would still get drunk. It felt like I was buzzed. Like especially we would have date nights on Wednesday nights and we’d go and take the kids to something and then go and get some supper or what have you. And I would be like, I feel like I’m stealing my words. And I realized I was slowing down.

00;14;11;09 – 00;14;31;28

Jon Mayo

I don’t know what my body was doing, but it was just this bizarro feeling of like, Holy crud, I hit these moments of like, degraded faculties. And I always thought it was because I drank, but the drinking probably just accentuated. Yeah. These natural chemical rhythms that my body’s going through anyways. And then, like you said, man, the first two weeks after giving it up, I was a sugar fiend.

00;14;32;04 – 00;14;35;13

Lindsey Mayo

You really were all the baked goods, like, Yeah, you can make that.

00;14;35;22 – 00;14;36;14

Jon Mayo

Oh, man.

00;14;36;14 – 00;14;37;19

Lindsey Mayo

And then make some more.

00;14;38;16 – 00;14;43;28

Jon Mayo

But it makes sense, right? Because sugar’s inflammatory or inflammatory and alcohol converts to sugar and carbohydrates.

00;14;44;15 – 00;14;50;11

Lindsey Mayo

Well, and then it triggers your brain. So, like, it all plays back into all of that. And you can really see that within our kids, too.

00;14;50;15 – 00;14;52;08

Jon Mayo

The sugar piece. The sugar, they’re not drinking.

00;14;52;08 – 00;14;58;18

Lindsey Mayo

No, at all. They’re not drinking, but the sugar piece, when they get a little bit, they they they’re like crack addicts looking for their next hit.

00;14;58;28 – 00;15;08;10

Jon Mayo

Correct. And in you know, certainly there’s all these lessons from it. But over time, I realized, like, well, what if I if I don’t hang out with someone because I don’t drink? Okay.

00;15;08;25 – 00;15;10;03

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah. Was it a true friendship?

00;15;10;06 – 00;15;18;26

Jon Mayo

And then we’d see some friends and we’re so grateful for in the last since September 4th, to the end of it, it was like I lived every life experience in which I would have wanted to have a drink.

00;15;19;03 – 00;15;19;20

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah, really.

00;15;19;20 – 00;15;23;29

Jon Mayo

Though it was better for not having had one. So it’s this really interesting thing. And.

00;15;24;26 – 00;15;26;08

Lindsey Mayo

And did you lose any friends over it?

00;15;27;16 – 00;15;30;19

Jon Mayo

I already didn’t have very many at this point, but no, I did not lose any of them.

00;15;30;24 – 00;15;34;22

Lindsey Mayo

Right. We’ve actually hung out with a couple of friends and it made no difference.

00;15;34;22 – 00;15;48;17

Jon Mayo

In fact, there’s like some gratitude. It’s like, oh my goodness, I’ve been trying to cut back or do this or that. And and it’s been interesting because for me, looking back, it’s like, okay, I attacked the things that scared me to give up to get to where I wanted to go. And that was the benefit of this last contract.

00;15;48;17 – 00;15;55;02

Jon Mayo

And I cultivated I grew in myself a strength that I didn’t have before. I practice something I wasn’t practiced in.

00;15;55;19 – 00;16;19;03

Lindsey Mayo

You’ve even mentioned quite a bit that how the days that you’ve woken up at 4 a.m. and then did your run and on Sundays you’ll come and snuggle me. But the days that you’ve done that or you’ve, you know, whatever, for some reason the alarm didn’t go off. Like that did happen one night. And I was like, I like 330.

00;16;19;03 – 00;16;39;17

Lindsey Mayo

I was like, You didn’t set the alarm, which was awful because I woke up at 330. But through those things it was You learned that if you didn’t wake up 100% at 4 a.m. and go upstairs and work out, other than just like waking up doing your right and then coming and snuggling me, you felt like you had lost the day.

00;16;40;08 – 00;16;57;10

Lindsey Mayo

And so I think that was that’s really, you know, worth talking about, too, in the aspect of now you’ve lost 2 hours of your productive day because you would come up and work. It wasn’t like, Oh, I’m going to come up and be out of my bed at 4 a.m. and lay on the floor upstairs in the office.

00;16;57;17 – 00;16;59;10

Jon Mayo

With the exception of the week, I was very ill.

00;16;59;20 – 00;17;15;20

Lindsey Mayo

That was that was fair. You did Still, I you did still wake up every day at 4 a.m. because the alarm clock could still go off at 4 a.m. every single day. But I did request that you would go to bed at least early enough to offset the alarm clock. Going to bed.

00;17;15;25 – 00;17;16;15

Jon Mayo

That week was.

00;17;16;29 – 00;17;27;29

Lindsey Mayo

You did? Yeah, that one was hard, But you still did it. You still even walked on. I requested that you walked on the treadmill because it was a colder week as well as really worried about some other things.

00;17;28;00 – 00;17;30;01

Jon Mayo

Well, I was really I mean, it was a.

00;17;30;04 – 00;17;30;16

Lindsey Mayo

It was.

00;17;30;20 – 00;17;35;03

Jon Mayo

Just basic, like a normal circumstances. I would have just probably rested.

00;17;35;21 – 00;17;43;06

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah, it was. When I say I requested, it’s because I know you well enough to know that most of the time you’ll say, Go get fluffed.

00;17;43;16 – 00;17;43;28

Jon Mayo

Yeah.

00;17;45;03 – 00;17;57;07

Lindsey Mayo

I know. It’s like I’m genuinely concerned about these things to the point where most of the time I don’t even request because I know it’s going to be a no. But this time I was like, I don’t know about this one. This one I was I was pretty nervous about.

00;17;57;08 – 00;18;03;05

Jon Mayo

Anderson And here’s the reason. Most of the time it’s a no, it’s because it’s me.

00;18;03;05 – 00;18;13;21

Lindsey Mayo

Wanting comfort versus you wanting comfort because it’s me being selfish and wanting you to stay in bed and snuggle with me until 6 a.m.. And it’s certain things like that. And it’s okay for you to say no.

00;18;15;07 – 00;18;22;20

Jon Mayo

Yeah, that’s a really fair point. Completely different than what I was thinking. Oh, sorry, but no, I’m not. I’m saying you’re sorry. I’m really grateful you shared it, though.

00;18;22;20 – 00;18;22;25

Lindsey Mayo

Well.

00;18;24;10 – 00;18;51;03

Jon Mayo

I’m really grateful you shared it, though, because that’s, I think, a powerful thing and a quick tangent upon that thread. I think a lot of couples have tension when pursuing something. Right. And you and I have talked about these contracts. These contracts are self cultivating, right? So they’re focused on me growing myself. But the fruit, the gift, the outcome of that is something that I think he and the boys, at least in my mind, I hope will benefit from.

00;18;51;17 – 00;18;51;20

Jon Mayo

Right.

00;18;51;27 – 00;19;13;07

Lindsey Mayo

I think we have I think kind of goes back to we were talking over this last night and I go back to that same analogy of the what’s in your bag. And I was talking about it from a land navigation perspective, which is more of a military term, I would assume, or an outdoors term for, I guess, Boy Scouts type of thing.

00;19;13;17 – 00;19;44;26

Lindsey Mayo

It’s basically where you’re looking with a compass for different routes or areas or points through climbing or hiking through a woods. And I think it’s really interesting, you know, that all of these would be points you were looking to go towards and you would adjust along your courses to figure out these different points. And then you had this great idea of like I had to figure out what I actually had that was or was not throwing me off.

00;19;44;26 – 00;20;11;26

Jon Mayo

Yeah. So, yeah, so I mean, like inland navigation, you’re, you’re located somewhere and you want to get to a different location right. And a great tool for that is typically you have a map and a compass and a compass tells you what direction you’re traveling, which is what you’re just talking about. And what we’re referencing there specifically is, you know, through the creation of these contracts in this last hundred and ten day one, I had a target, right?

00;20;11;26 – 00;20;30;25

Jon Mayo

It’s like seeing a mountain peak or some distinct landmark on the horizon that I wanted to get to. Right. Right. Or, you know, I wanted, you know, now, even better yet, I want to travel north. So I shoot north on my compass and I see this landmark and I’m like, okay, that’s where I have to go. So now I don’t always have to look at the companies to get there.

00;20;30;25 – 00;20;51;24

Jon Mayo

I know I’m traveling in the right direction and I use the analogy you’re discussing of, you know, drinking was part of my life. It was in my my bags that I shared with me on this journey. And it took me kind of getting knocked down, losing the bag for a bit, and realizing that when I checked my direction with the compass, it wasn’t at the landmark.

00;20;51;24 – 00;20;54;23

Jon Mayo

I saw North was somewhere else. It was off.

00;20;54;26 – 00;20;55;18

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah. It threw you off.

00;20;55;18 – 00;21;24;05

Jon Mayo

Course it threw me off course. And then when I found, you know, drinking again, this item in my bag, twofold metaphor. And I look through the compass skin. It pointed back to the landmark, and I realized if I set down the bag, walked away and use the compass, it would point back to True North. And through that, there’s this discovery process of realizing that certain parts of my life may be skewing how I can use my tools to see what the direction I really want to travel in.

00;21;24;05 – 00;21;35;15

Jon Mayo

And you brought up a different analogy of like seeing the world through glasses and you don’t realize that you’re seeing the world through whatever tinted glasses. And to take them off, step back and evaluate what you’re looking at.

00;21;35;22 – 00;21;38;07

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah, it’s a lot of power and perspective.

00;21;38;14 – 00;21;52;17

Jon Mayo

Yeah, that perspective is incredibly powerful. And so there’s this value in evaluating what you’re carrying with you and trying to do your best to determine is it potentially throwing me off course without me knowing it.

00;21;53;02 – 00;22;13;08

Lindsey Mayo

Whether it’s good or bad, because even some of the good could be throwing you off course. And that, I think, is is something that’s difficult to genuinely look at and go, Wow, I didn’t realize that even that’s good. Like in drinking, it’s fun, it’s social. That could be a good aspect of it, right? Because you get to do it.

00;22;13;08 – 00;22;31;05

Lindsey Mayo

It’s a communal thing. But on the other end of that, it, you know, you don’t control yourself as well in general and like alcohol alters your brain, so that can be the bad. So you have to figure out, you know, which way do I want to stay, which way do I want to go?

00;22;32;21 – 00;23;03;02

Jon Mayo

You’re absolutely correct. And ultimately for myself on a personal level. Right. And I want to talk about the applicability of this also for others at some point. But I realize, like I’m not trying to create contracts with myself that are short duration, you know, 3200 days. But I’m really doing is building the strength in a way that I have the courage to actually tackle lifestyle change and things that are kind of difficult for me to grasp doing right.

00;23;04;15 – 00;23;21;12

Jon Mayo

And I’m using these contracts as a tool to get there. But one of the things I’ve had in my mind is I designed a new contract that’s going to start on the 30th of November, so tomorrow. And so I’ve only had 48 hours between contracts here and it’s going to be a hundred days.

00;23;21;26 – 00;23;26;20

Lindsey Mayo

There will be no running limited. I know it’s not every day. So.

00;23;27;00 – 00;23;28;03

Jon Mayo

Yeah, I’m going to.

00;23;28;19 – 00;23;30;08

Lindsey Mayo

We’re going to take a break from good for a little bit.

00;23;30;15 – 00;23;48;02

Jon Mayo

And let’s just talk through it real quick. But but ultimately what I see is I would like to create potentially the next contract to be a year long one. And the reason why is I don’t want you know, we talked to drinking. I had like fab diet drinking things for like 21 days and now it’s been months of it.

00;23;48;02 – 00;24;07;12

Jon Mayo

And my relationship is different like I have. I did have some drinks yesterday and I’ve had some today. And that’s going to well, it’s part of my, you know, reward. It’s part of the celebrations, part of all these things. But I don’t feel the same way about it. I would say I have no desire to go back to how it was.

00;24;07;12 – 00;24;27;27

Jon Mayo

I could used to with the diet things. Now it’s like, okay, this is cool, but it’s really not that cool, which is a huge difference. My perspective has changed. I’ve actually grown to value sobriety, a sober mind that can at eight, 9:00 at night, get back up and start going again because it’s not weighed down by something. Right.

00;24;28;00 – 00;24;28;13

Jon Mayo

You know.

00;24;29;11 – 00;24;52;26

Lindsey Mayo

One, you’ve talked about a lot of how you felt without like physically have felt without alcohol and then introducing it again, you know, just kind of sometimes alcohol just makes you feel it’ll make you feel bloated and just like these different things that you go through, not even just the mental fatigue, but the physical like inner workings of your intestines and stomach and all those other things.

00;24;52;26 – 00;24;55;00

Lindsey Mayo

And you just feel gross in a sense.

00;24;55;08 – 00;24;55;12

Jon Mayo

Well.

00;24;55;24 – 00;24;56;12

Lindsey Mayo

As well.

00;24;56;21 – 00;25;08;09

Jon Mayo

Yeah. And this is all aimed at, like I said, cultivating character, which means I want to create the best possible version of myself. And I realize towards the end of the contract that I was getting scared of ever having a drink again, right?

00;25;08;10 – 00;25;08;20

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah.

00;25;08;21 – 00;25;14;25

Jon Mayo

Because I saw what I was becoming, not drinking. And I loved it. And I remembered.

00;25;14;25 – 00;25;30;28

Lindsey Mayo

You’ve had this right and left balance to be able to look at one side. This is me. When I’ve been drinking and I’ve been high functioning and I’ve done a lot of really productive things, but look how much more I’ve done without it. And I think that’s been really cool to watch and see too.

00;25;30;29 – 00;25;48;08

Jon Mayo

It’s like taking the limiter often engine and I’m just learning how to function without it. Right, Right. So but I was scared and I wasn’t going to drink it during these two days for a while. And then I finally made a decision. It’s like, No, you’re throwing yourself back in to have some because you need to see how you react when you test again.

00;25;48;08 – 00;26;02;21

Jon Mayo

You only see if you fall back to your habits. You need do these things. You have another contract. So you have a safety net, right? You have another contract you’re about to initiate. So if you realize that you don’t have the self-control you hope you will, you have a contract to reshore up things and grow the disciplines you need to do.

00;26;03;03 – 00;26;22;20

Jon Mayo

And like I said, this is incredibly vulnerable. Most people would never admit this type of weakness. But here’s the bottom line. Like I came to realization the last couple months that’s been big for so long. I’ve been at war with myself, trying to kill off the bad and cultivate the good. And I realized that that is a fool’s errand.

00;26;23;11 – 00;27;04;18

Jon Mayo

What I really need to do is take into account the sum of my parts, the good and the bad of my self, my past, my family’s, my history, everything. And incorporate them into something that can be used for good moving forward. Right. It’s through this union, this incorporation of everything that really is become powerful. And I’m happy to report after the last two days drinking specifically, I am not concerned that I’ve lost my discipline and I my what I desire right to accomplish is stronger than the desire that I used to have for the comfort of the drinking.

00;27;04;18 – 00;27;05;27

Jon Mayo

And that’s exciting.

00;27;05;27 – 00;27;29;10

Lindsey Mayo

But I’m also to the point where your consumption hasn’t been anywhere near like you would have seen, let’s say, when you did like a 21 day challenge. It was, Oh, I haven’t drank for 21 days, let’s have a couple beers or let’s make up for all the alcohol. I’ve not had in the last 21 days. Whereas the last two days it’s like tonight we’ve had a glass of wine and you’ve had a beer.

00;27;29;14 – 00;27;34;10

Lindsey Mayo

Mm. That’s it. It’s not been like, let’s count a six pack and have a bottle of wine like.

00;27;34;24 – 00;27;35;28

Jon Mayo

And some whiskey, you know.

00;27;35;28 – 00;27;36;08

Lindsey Mayo

Right.

00;27;36;09 – 00;27;37;18

Jon Mayo

Just trying to make up for lost time.

00;27;37;22 – 00;27;55;15

Lindsey Mayo

Right. And I think that’s really different in this aspect of this challenge too. But I do want to get into like, how can people make this applicable and how do how do they find value in what you’ve done and so that they can make it for them as well?

00;27;55;22 – 00;28;10;17

Jon Mayo

Yeah, and please hold on to that because I want to get there very quickly. Okay. But I can’t understate how monumental it’s been for me specifically the fact of incorporating the good and the bad instead of trying to kill off the bad and feed the good, right?

00;28;11;00 – 00;28;32;27

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah, that has been something that you’ve really even for, I think, the duration of our marriage, you’ve always been trying to to kill off the bad and feed the good. Whereas I do believe this last challenge has really shown you that you have to embrace the bad and figure out how to lead it.

00;28;32;27 – 00;28;59;20

Jon Mayo

Where there’s a there’s something valuable in looking at something and not avoiding it and saying, never again. I will acquire the strength, I will acquire the endurance or acquire the ability to ensure that never again is this type of behavior or these types of actions where this type of self will ever see the light vegan period. And you can’t do that when you’re trying to kill it or run from it, right?

00;28;59;21 – 00;29;06;14

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah. You really turned and faced it and said, Hey, I’m going to I’m going to talk to you about it real quick type of thing.

00;29;06;14 – 00;29;11;09

Jon Mayo

And not even just the drinking. Like there’s all sorts of things from my past and things I’ve done right.

00;29;11;15 – 00;29;14;29

Lindsey Mayo

Stuff that I think the drinking one’s an easy one to be applicable.

00;29;14;29 – 00;29;16;00

Jon Mayo

And for anyone.

00;29;16;00 – 00;29;16;26

Lindsey Mayo

For anyone. Yeah.

00;29;16;27 – 00;29;21;10

Jon Mayo

You know what? It could be your diet. It could be your lack of keeping the truth right.

00;29;21;10 – 00;29;22;08

Lindsey Mayo

Filling your.

00;29;22;08 – 00;29;49;04

Jon Mayo

Yeah. For for whatever a big one is drinking. And there are some, like, more singular decisions of me in my life that I’ve wrestled with and tried to forget. And really, there’s been a long journey to fully embracing every aspect of who I’ve been to realize that I can incorporate the things that I hate about myself, that I hate that I’ve done as a means to say never again as long as I draw breath, that will never happen again.

00;29;49;04 – 00;30;18;24

Jon Mayo

And I will create a life and a individual and a community that safeguards and ensures that these types of things can never happen again. And there’s immense power on that aspect as much so because it unifies with the the more positive side of yourself that says we will accomplish great things. And the two together remove a significant amount of naivety, remove a significant amount of escapism and guilt.

00;30;19;03 – 00;30;22;08

Lindsey Mayo

Honestly, because you’ve, you’ve chosen to turn around and deal with it.

00;30;22;11 – 00;30;39;11

Jon Mayo

Well, you pay the price of bearing the weight of your your sins, for lack of a better word, for missing the mark. Right. You know, like if you do something that hurts you and you face it head on, you bare up under that weight and you choose to own it. It changes your relationship with it. It doesn’t control you anymore.

00;30;39;25 – 00;31;04;00

Jon Mayo

It doesn’t feel good. It’s not positive. But at least you can say never again. And there is power in remembering something and saying never again. And whenever you remember it being like, Yep, that’s true, I did that, but never again. And being able to continue that path. So this this whole idea of incorporating the good in the bad to create a better future I think is incredibly powerful and exciting.

00;31;04;14 – 00;31;07;25

Lindsey Mayo

And it’s a newer one that we’re really diving into and developing.

00;31;08;00 – 00;31;25;08

Jon Mayo

It is, and it’s one more step closer to, Wow, what can other people do with it? Right. Well, we’ve talked in depth now about how the contracts have kind of evolved and really attack things that I was weak and scared and things like that. Well, I just designed the one that starts tomorrow. It’s pretty simple. Run through it really fast and I’ll explain why.

00;31;25;08 – 00;31;29;04

Jon Mayo

And then that, I think, is a direct jump into what people can do with these contracts.

00;31;29;04 – 00;31;29;14

Lindsey Mayo

Perfect.

00;31;29;28 – 00;31;45;18

Jon Mayo

And so I’m starting another 100 day contract tomorrow and it’s going to be a five day day on the assault bike, not running. Okay. I can substitute with a run, you know, if we travel or if, you know.

00;31;45;29 – 00;31;48;01

Lindsey Mayo

The weather’s beautiful or whatever, or.

00;31;48;01 – 00;31;49;14

Jon Mayo

It’s really atrocious and you just.

00;31;49;14 – 00;31;49;29

Lindsey Mayo

Need to go get.

00;31;49;29 – 00;32;10;08

Jon Mayo

Out there. Yeah. There’s all physically I really want to, like, put a bunch of weight on myself, like, you know, the change the bags and everything. Go and do a5k for distance. But, but online five k down the salt bike can be substitute run. That’s point one. There’s seven points, The second is five lifts per week. So I’m going to do some form of lift Monday through Friday because I really miss the strength training, the mobility training, all that.

00;32;11;04 – 00;32;34;01

Jon Mayo

So that really handles my physical output side, physical input side. I am terrified to fast t like intermittent fasting. I’ve done like breakfast lunch. It’s been hard. What I’m really scared of, like frankly, for lack of a better terms, it’s the that it makes me really uncomfortable. Even think about is idea of going to bed having not eaten all day and like hangry.

00;32;34;12 – 00;32;57;16

Jon Mayo

You know, being hungry and angry is not excuse bullshit. Excuse me, but it’s absolute crap. And I realize like, Oh, here’s my next deficit. I get to own the menu of this and I need to be a sweet and loving and placid, sweet and loving and caring as if I’m well-fed. And so one day a week, Tuesdays to Wednesdays, from wake up to wake up.

00;32;57;16 – 00;33;18;10

Jon Mayo

I’m not. I’m going to fast. I’m going to stop taking salt. I’m going to allow myself a little bit of coffee and water, but I’m going to do that as a means to gain master from my mind. And you know, the dependance on trying to medicate my life with food. Right? And it’s going to, you know, I’m excited to see what that journey does.

00;33;18;19 – 00;33;38;13

Jon Mayo

I’m excited to see the discipline it creates my mind, the self-control and the appreciation, right. For food and for how we have so much abundance around us and what we can do with that. And as equally as it freaks me out and seems it’s the most daunting piece on this next contract for me for sure. Even though it’s one day a week.

00;33;39;14 – 00;33;50;21

Jon Mayo

It’s also, I think, what’s going to probably be the most rewarding, and we’ll see how that goes. But real quick, earlier, like I don’t agree with you on that one. Why was.

00;33;50;21 – 00;33;52;26

Lindsey Mayo

That? I’m not going into that. Continue on. They’re gone.

00;33;53;02 – 00;34;08;19

Jon Mayo

So I’m going to be that pretty pumped about it in a weird way. And then I want to train myself to wake up early. So the next point is backup alarm to later than 530. My goal is to train myself to wake up naturally at four on days. I want to ensure I wake up before. That’s when I set the alarm.

00;34;08;29 – 00;34;10;15

Lindsey Mayo

I think you’ve done that pretty decently.

00;34;11;13 – 00;34;12;03

Jon Mayo

It serious?

00;34;12;10 – 00;34;18;24

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah. That’s fair. It’s really I think it’s really dependent on we actually get into bed too. So there’s like a couple of things, but.

00;34;19;04 – 00;34;21;26

Jon Mayo

That is interesting. Like tomorrow my alarm set for fork.

00;34;21;26 – 00;34;27;09

Lindsey Mayo

So I guess my thing is, is you’ve never really slept in, quote unquote, unless you’ve been sick.

00;34;27;18 – 00;34;28;00

Jon Mayo

Yeah.

00;34;28;05 – 00;34;29;17

Lindsey Mayo

Like you’re normally up by six.

00;34;30;18 – 00;34;31;10

Jon Mayo

That’s fair enough.

00;34;31;10 – 00;34;42;21

Lindsey Mayo

And I think the waking up before the awesome like the naturally I think that’s awesome no later than FiveThirtyEight the idea I’m just saying I you’ve never been like the person who will sleep until like ten or 11.

00;34;42;28 – 00;34;46;24

Jon Mayo

No in the goals. Really. Can I train myself to wake up at like the ungodly.

00;34;46;24 – 00;34;47;21

Lindsey Mayo

Hour by yourself?

00;34;47;24 – 00;35;10;21

Jon Mayo

Yeah, right. And we’ll see. And I’m going to rely on the alarm in the days after you. So there’s like, there’s the fast, there’s the lift, there’s the run. I mean, the the five K on the salt bike. There’s the waking up early. Alcohol is so extremely limited, it’s only going to be communal. So like you and I have a glass of wine or something for a date night or we’re with some friends for a barbecue, that type of thing.

00;35;12;06 – 00;35;40;22

Jon Mayo

And that’s it. So it’s going to be pretty rare. And then the other two things have incorporated as we’re transitioning to a lifestyle change, you know, and looking at a year long one, next time is Sunday is going to be rest days. So I don’t have any requirements on Sunday’s period. You know, wake up when you and I wake up naturally, really invest in our marriage and our relationship, really invest in the boys and our family and ensure that we are restoring and rejuvenating energy.

00;35;41;02 – 00;35;45;10

Lindsey Mayo

And a lot of the time that in our house that looks as no technology for the day.

00;35;45;21 – 00;35;49;27

Jon Mayo

Yeah. To cut off all reception into the house right.

00;35;49;29 – 00;36;08;05

Lindsey Mayo

Right Every now and then we still will do a family movie but there have been many Sundays that will say no electronics for sure. And it’s even been good for the boys too, because then we just spend time, you know, with each other and talking with one another or reading or playing games. And that’s been really sweet.

00;36;08;22 – 00;36;09;12

Jon Mayo

Yeah, it’s.

00;36;09;12 – 00;36;10;25

Lindsey Mayo

Been really sweet family time.

00;36;10;25 – 00;36;14;27

Jon Mayo

And we’ve created some rituals to look forward to, right? So yeah, we have WrestleMania every Sunday now.

00;36;14;27 – 00;36;15;06

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah.

00;36;15;10 – 00;36;18;03

Jon Mayo

And there’s a book series that I’ve read them one book a week.

00;36;18;11 – 00;36;25;00

Lindsey Mayo

Which is fun because you read it. And then at night I read. So they’re getting from both of us, and I think that’s really fun.

00;36;25;06 – 00;36;27;09

Jon Mayo

It’s been a really the readings become.

00;36;28;02 – 00;36;39;29

Lindsey Mayo

Oh, we missed it this last week. And I think I’ve heard at least twice a day that even you’ve heard twice a day that the boys are very displeased with our actions of not reading this last Sunday.

00;36;41;01 – 00;36;41;10

Jon Mayo

Yep.

00;36;41;19 – 00;36;44;09

Lindsey Mayo

And I think it’s sweet that they look forward to it.

00;36;45;01 – 00;36;52;29

Jon Mayo

Oh, I love it. And I think there’s a whole conversation to be had there as well, you know, for another time. But the fact.

00;36;53;00 – 00;36;54;00

Lindsey Mayo

Stay tuned for a coffee.

00;36;54;00 – 00;37;02;09

Jon Mayo

Yeah yeah that that I think we should absolutely talk about that. And then the last thing for the next hundred days is no social media on my phone. I deleted Facebook and Instagram off the phone.

00;37;02;15 – 00;37;02;25

Lindsey Mayo

Right.

00;37;02;28 – 00;37;21;22

Jon Mayo

And I’m really excited. You know, the computer is not ideal for post on those platforms, but I’m going especially Instagram, but I’m going to do that for a great theory. You know, it’s forcing us to while forcing you to schedule and automate some stuff and do some things I wanted to do. But it’s been so convenient on the phone.

00;37;21;22 – 00;37;23;01

Jon Mayo

The problem is I realized.

00;37;23;27 – 00;37;29;16

Lindsey Mayo

It’s so easy for your Oh, I’ll turn it on to post. Shoot. I’ve been scrolling for 20 minutes and I haven’t posted yet.

00;37;29;20 – 00;37;49;12

Jon Mayo

They’ve invested hundreds of millions dollars and have billions of people’s data points to understand how to how to make it very difficult to restrain. Right. Yeah. So I’m going to gain the discipline by cutting it off. So it’s already off my phones and I’m really excited to see what that looks like for the next hundred days and what it does.

00;37;49;13 – 00;38;12;04

Lindsey Mayo

I did that for about 40 days and it was I loved it. It was fantastic. It’s hard in the aspect of when you’re trying to supposedly grow a business that is social media driven. It’s difficult because, like you were saying, you can’t do some of the things that you can do on a phone like reels and post to your story and certain things like that are limited on the computer.

00;38;12;11 – 00;38;34;09

Lindsey Mayo

But the rest of it, it’s like you actually connect with the people around you. So what it made me do was I was like, Oh, I should just text that friend instead of just like that photo and be like, Hey, how in the heck are you? Like, What’s going on? You know what I mean? So it’s so different because it takes the impersonal out of it and it takes you back to personal.

00;38;34;14 – 00;38;37;00

Jon Mayo

What’s intentionality? Times 1000, right? Right.

00;38;37;24 – 00;38;55;20

Lindsey Mayo

I loved it. I absolutely loved it. Ever since then, I’m I don’t go on mine as often as I used to because I also realized that it was such a time suck and it was a it was a source of joy that was lost.

00;38;55;20 – 00;39;05;28

Jon Mayo

So I deleted it a week ago in like our phones. Tell us at least if you have an apple what your screen time is each week, right? I’m already down like 40% and I said, Oh.

00;39;05;28 – 00;39;07;04

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah, mine is this week. I got.

00;39;07;04 – 00;39;09;24

Jon Mayo

Lucky. I was like, Holy moly, that’s a significant downgrade. It’s a.

00;39;09;24 – 00;39;10;22

Lindsey Mayo

Lie. Yeah.

00;39;10;23 – 00;39;23;09

Jon Mayo

40%, almost half gone. And that doesn’t count like having maps up, you know, like maps goes into that time, all this other stuff. So it’s like if you have your Google maps on or you have a YouTube video playing in the background to listen to a podcast or something.

00;39;23;09 – 00;39;28;28

Lindsey Mayo

Yeah, my podcast. Mine always goes up when I’m listening to more podcasts or audible books and things like that.

00;39;29;02 – 00;39;57;28

Jon Mayo

So if you think like 40%, even with those things in the picture is big and you know, the reason I share this here is because you mentioned how does this become applicable for people? Well, this is this these contracts and what they’re evolving into being, which are tools to cultivate character, are really means of isolating and cutting out where you’re weakest and building this strength in whatever means you have the courage to face yourself to overcome this point of weakness.

00;39;57;28 – 00;40;21;12

Jon Mayo

So like we already talked about how killing, drinking and learning to stay the course, regardless of pain and all these other things, was the victory, the gift of this last one on this one, You know, my dependencies on food and things like that are under like I’m attacking. The lack of sovereignty and self control over social media is gone.

00;40;21;12 – 00;40;31;20

Jon Mayo

Right. Like the amount of focus I’m going to have and the loss of distraction by removing those things I can already feel last week and very much so looking forward to the next hundred days and.

00;40;32;09 – 00;40;53;17

Lindsey Mayo

I think another way that this can really be applicable to people as well, as we’ve talked a lot about starting small, but these types of challenges are, these are the top five things, let’s call it that, that really bother me, really push it to me. You know, they’re always eating at me and it’s like I’m going to do all five of these things at once.

00;40;53;25 – 00;41;33;12

Lindsey Mayo

And that’s really because you want trajectory changing of your being and of your actions and those things. And so the these types of challenges are don’t start small in the aspect of I’m just going to change, you know, make my bed every day. And like, those are good habits to start to get into for habit changing. But this is something where it’s like, I’m going to up root this in my character because I see there’s something better over here at the end of this challenge when I’m doing these things collectively together day in and day out.

00;41;33;26 – 00;41;40;17

Lindsey Mayo

This is not a, Oh, I’ll take it, you know, this one step at a time. No, it’s either all in or all out in.

00;41;40;17 – 00;41;42;26

Jon Mayo

Your attacking the weakest parts of yourself, right?

00;41;42;27 – 00;41;44;05

Lindsey Mayo

So all in or all out.

00;41;44;13 – 00;42;02;27

Jon Mayo

And that’s the reason I was doing that. Correlations like these things are attacking the weakest part of myself time in, time out and then whatever scares me or makes me the most uncomfortable is what the next contract will be focused on, right? You know, or will be utilized to safeguard and continue the growth in the directions that have already been won.

00;42;02;27 – 00;42;23;02

Jon Mayo

If I don’t have a clear identified target right in like you just said, that’s exactly where this is applicable for someone else. So we talked about like I didn’t I didn’t know who the heck Andy for Scylla was if 110 days ago. But over this last contract, someone’s brought him up to us. And I’ve learned about his like 75 hard program and all that stuff.

00;42;23;02 – 00;42;46;10

Jon Mayo

And I’ve studied it some because I was curious. I was like, Oh, I’m, I’m doing something. What is this about? And I’m grateful I didn’t learn about it until, you know, almost a year into it, because I’ve enjoyed the journey of creation. I’ve done. And, you know, looking at that, I’ve realized what I’m doing. The self-discipline is a prerequisite for attacking the character, things that are here.

00;42;46;21 – 00;42;56;10

Jon Mayo

And I think what I really admire about the 75 Heart program and what they do is that’s a really good way to cultivate discipline. If you don’t have it, if you don’t know where to start and don’t have discipline, I think that’s fantastic.

00;42;56;11 – 00;43;00;02

Lindsey Mayo

And even some mental resiliency because it pushes you outside comfort zones.

00;43;00;02 – 00;43;17;13

Jon Mayo

Yeah, and I fully agree with the idea of like follow the parameters on that. Do not change them. Do we have to do that? Like if you have the self-discipline right, then your ultimate goal is not like weight loss, right? Because you control your for keep control your what you put in your body and you control your output already.

00;43;17;21 – 00;43;38;15

Jon Mayo

So you’re you’re unsettled by something more. And I think that’s really where these contracts, in my mind hold their value. Now, you could use them as a starting gateway as well, but for me, it’s really like you already have discipline. You just don’t know what hey, that you don’t know what what to what ideal team to get you to the next point, right.

00;43;38;15 – 00;43;58;13

Jon Mayo

To to further progress yourself. And that’s where it’s like take some time to evaluate What do you not like about yourself? What behaviors do you do? Like, what do you hate about yourself? And if it’s the fact that you don’t trust yourself, like I’m going to do this and they don’t, then set something up to make it easy.

00;43;58;13 – 00;44;17;02

Jon Mayo

Build equity in self-respect, in trusting that you’re going to follow through with what you say you’re going to do, even if it’s just for you, you know, and then grow on that. Right? It maybe it’s maybe it isn’t going to work out this many times week. And then you don’t set the contract so that you do and then hold yourself to it.

00;44;17;02 – 00;44;34;21

Jon Mayo

And the real critical thing is you have to be honest with yourself that once you start one of these things, it’s not just of I miss a day, I restart it. Right. Which is a great way like you could be doing 75 hard forever if you keep missing days and you keep restarting it, you know, just quit on yourself.

00;44;35;10 – 00;44;56;26

Jon Mayo

But it’s like you have to realize if you breach the contract, you have to pay the debt, not just restart it. You have to look in the mirror and realize the cost that does on your character and your self-respect and everything else and be willing to pay that price. And I don’t know what that looks like. So I’ve not done it.

00;44;57;15 – 00;45;27;11

Jon Mayo

I’ve not failed to hit a day because I’m terrified to write like I’m building up so much the importance of following through with this stuff that I miss a days unfathomable and, you know, to choose to miss a day would be unfathomable. So I really think that these things are powerful. It’s a mental framework that’s been powerful me for me and I think is accessible for others to say, okay, what do I just not like about myself?

00;45;27;11 – 00;45;52;08

Jon Mayo

What do I hate about myself on a deep level? And let’s create something that I think will challenge me to overcome those things and then hold myself to that for an extended period of time and learn from that, evaluate it, and then continue that process in a cyclical fashion. And it’s highly individualistic, like the problems that plague us or universal, right?

00;45;52;23 – 00;46;14;06

Jon Mayo

Many people have drinking problems or fitness problems or what have you, but like the things that really eat you up that you have the courage to face about yourself are going to be fairly unique to you and cultivating the courage of whatever aspect of yourself you can determine to attack, to get better. And then that’s where you put your focus to start and go from there.

00;46;14;29 – 00;46;54;04

Jon Mayo

And over the course of, you know, dang near doesn’t contracts, now you gain over time the strength and courage to attack the bigger and bigger things in yourself that need corrected and then eventually what I think this is going to go is it’s not so much correction but evolution and growth and you’ll start going to just grow and cultivate the good things and not just overcome the weaknesses.

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