Episode 9 from The Grit Theory.

Today we discuss “Embrace Your Inner Bison and Run Toward the Storm”  an article written by Aaron Barrette that explores the more dangerous yet hearty and free Bison compared to the placid, domesticated cow and the implications of studying these two animals as metaphors for how we can embrace life.

Highlights include:
– The Pain Paradox
– Dangerous Freedom vs. Comfortable Security
– Building Resilience
– Crafting plans to respond to life’s “storms”
– The importance of your community
– The value of pushing into your problems

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Also, check out Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be waymakers HERE.

Do you want to learn more? Check out:

The Book: Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be WayMakers.

The Podcast: “Be Relentless Podcast”

The Fuel: Sisu Stamina, Performance Evolved

Linktree: Here.

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Episode Transcript

00;00;00;00 – 00;00;16;21

Mostly Aaron

Good morning, everybody. Welcome to the grid Theory with Aaron Robinson, myself and John Mayo. Hello, John. Good morning. How are you? I’m great. Up in Adams camp, beautiful day is starting to become spring here in Garden Springs. And we’d love this time going.

00;00;17;08 – 00;00;21;25

Mostly Jon

We do. I forgot what green looks like.

00;00;21;25 – 00;00;34;18

Mostly Aaron

People say that about coming here anyway. It’s generally browner, I guess, in other states, but worth it. Yeah. Oh, so many more benefits. But hey, let’s not get going on our our state pride here.

00;00;34;18 – 00;00;36;09

Mostly Jon

But we don’t need more people moving here.

00;00;36;16 – 00;00;38;03

Mostly Aaron

So that’s true. Yeah. It’s not that great.

00;00;38;12 – 00;00;45;15

Mostly Jon

It’s terrible. You get snow or spring, it’s muddy, it’s dreary, it’s terrible. We only get some sun.

00;00;45;17 – 00;01;07;05

Mostly Aaron

All the stereotypes. Yeah. Six feet of snow out here. All the time. Yes. Anyway, well, hey, well, thank you for joining us, everybody. All our great fans out there. We are going to get into that. So today was really near and dear to John and I started talking about the grit of life. But this specifically, I think, really encapsulates gives us a really good word.

00;01;07;05 – 00;01;32;08

Mostly Aaron

Picture of what it looks like to be gritty one. But but why we really do it, why it’s not an insane, masochistic kind of journey that we’re on, you know, as people from the outside looking in. Why is it that we we push through difficult things? What is the benefit today? So today we’re going to be getting into an article that we found the title of the article.

00;01;32;08 – 00;02;08;01

Mostly Aaron

So embrace your inner bison and Run toward the Storm, which seems variances that equal to everything your mind would tell you to do run into the storm. I mean, it’s like to me, there are certain things that seem like not just a paradox, but seemingly like antagonistic to the human journey. Like if why would I do the thing that makes things worse as as you get as you think about something and this is we’re going to get a little bit more into the heart of this because this is not something that we say flippantly in life.

00;02;08;07 – 00;02;16;09

Mostly Aaron

We’re trying to be some tough guy or something. There’s actual, real methodical thinking behind it. I feel like what do you think about that?

00;02;16;09 – 00;02;38;13

Mostly Jon

John Yeah, I agree. And it’s also fun because back in episode six, Bayley called Into the Storm, pushing to the storm that we kind of touched on this principle as fruit from that conversation, right? Well, yeah, you just have to embrace such adversities and there’s benefits to that conversation to get upon that stream more. And look at the analogy for me today I think is going to be fun.

00;02;39;00 – 00;02;55;12

Mostly Jon

But yeah, we are very adaptable creatures, human beings and we are a product of that which we repeat. So I agree there’s I believe there’s a method. I think it’s well proven over numerous infinite examples.

00;02;55;23 – 00;03;19;08

Mostly Aaron

And I’m excited to jump in. Absolutely. Well, so with that said, I only read a little bit of this article just gives a backdrop. I want to give some credit to the author, Aaron Barrette. This is this is a great article. I just really enjoyed reading this interview. Professor There are few symbols that represent our past and the American West quite like the American bison, better known as the Buffalo.

00;03;19;12 – 00;03;40;01

Mostly Aaron

The official the official mammal quote of the United States is often used throughout and throughout North America in official SEALs, flags and others in the Native American community. The bison is a revered, especially among the Plains Indians who considered a sacred animal and a religious symbol as a history major in college and someone with specific interest in historical West.

00;03;40;01 – 00;04;09;16

Mostly Aaron

I’ve been long fascinated by the Buffalo, one of the best books I’ve read in the years is American Buffalo In Search of a Lost Icon by Steve Rinella, the well-known podcast host and star of Meat Eater on Netflix, authored a compelling and comprehensive history of the animal and the incredible impact it has had on our nation’s history. Skip ahead here, the symbolism of the majestic bison heading directly into the storm is very fitting and an interesting reminder of how to confront life’s obstacles.

00;04;09;26 – 00;04;33;21

Mostly Aaron

We all know that the worst thing we can do when confronted with a major challenge in life is to run from it. And then he writes, Don’t run, don’t avoid it. Don’t hope it goes away. Take it head on and back up. You said preface this statement with one of the most fascinating characteristics of the bison is how they react when a storm is coming.

00;04;34;09 – 00;04;47;06

Mostly Aaron

And again, don’t run, don’t avoid it, don’t hope it goes away, take it head on. But as human beings, we often don’t do that. Why is that, John? Well.

00;04;49;01 – 00;05;14;14

Mostly Jon

I think that we are wired to pursue comfort in our natural state. Right. Like, that’s my opinion. What’s easier being the comfortable thing. And and it kind of makes sense if you think about it in a survival perspective. We’re like calories that are scarce, right? You’re not going to go just run to run. You’re not going to put yourself in unnecessary risk because there’s no medical attention.

00;05;14;14 – 00;05;33;17

Mostly Jon

Help you if you’re out in the middle of the wilderness by ourselves. Right. So there’s kind of the I’m going to do what’s necessary to survive and not more than that or to maybe, like, be comfortable as possible, like have enough food and things like that. But why would I do more than that? Risk injury expense, calories, things like that.

00;05;33;17 – 00;05;34;05

Mostly Jon

So I think that.

00;05;34;13 – 00;05;39;04

Mostly Aaron

It’s like you’re talking like a nomadic man. Yeah, I covered many hundreds of years ago. This was.

00;05;39;11 – 00;06;01;20

Mostly Jon

Yeah, I’m I’m looking at like, why would we want comfort over. Yeah. Facing the storm And I think it comes from our history, you know, but I don’t think we’ve adapted well to modern civilization because there wasn’t a laziness then perceived or you die, right? Like you would do the hard things because they were necessary. You just wouldn’t take on unnecessary risk.

00;06;02;05 – 00;06;21;21

Mostly Jon

But now we’re the hard things or have changed in necessity. We avoid them because you can eat three days worth of calories in 10 minutes, you know? So it’s like we’re good. We have heating and air conditioning and we don’t have to worry about our baseline survival for the most part.

00;06;22;06 – 00;06;44;22

Mostly Aaron

And we don’t know where to go. Jonathan What’s strange to me, and I think this is the insidious nature of life where we don’t realize we’re actually in a storm. Yeah. So when you say to me, we can consume 3 to 10 minutes of that, which is true, I mean, it’s so convenient to totally just mess up your health, right?

00;06;45;11 – 00;07;04;17

Mostly Aaron

But people think that comfort is the same thing as health or this or the same thing is own happiness or whatever you want to call it. Like it’s a good thing. It’s a good thing when when they know I mean, when they know this is not really what they want. This isn’t truly freedom. This is not exactly health.

00;07;04;27 – 00;07;10;04

Mostly Aaron

Right. But there are so many competing elements that are trying to steal away the thing that we really want.

00;07;10;07 – 00;07;34;06

Mostly Jon

Well, what you just mentioned something that I think is pretty central to this idea because there’s two competing systems. I see. There’s the comfort versus lack thereof and the benefits of each. Right. But then there’s the concept of the freedom versus being domesticated or lack of freedom. Right. And there’s analogy that we can pull out in a second.

00;07;34;06 – 00;08;04;19

Mostly Jon

But freedom is is dangerous, it’s costly, It’s difficult to maintain. And it inherently puts the benefit, the benefactor of freedom, into greater adversity. Right. They’re responsible for the decisions they’re making. They’re responsible for the consequences of their actions. They’re responsible for making those decisions in the first place. That’s daunting. Right. So it or at least it can be in many cases.

00;08;04;19 – 00;08;23;27

Mostly Jon

So I see there’s fairweather and there are storms and they can be small. Like I was thinking about this. If you’re communicating via email with someone and you send off an email and maybe the situation’s a little testy and you see their response popping on your phone or whatever, what’s your reaction? You kind of dread opening it. Right.

00;08;24;08 – 00;08;34;01

Mostly Jon

That’s a micro storm. But if you’re like, okay, they’re responding. And you guys, I don’t even think can click the dang e-mail, read it.

00;08;34;02 – 00;08;55;22

Mostly Aaron

Yes. There’s no there’s a great cushion that I’m sure some of our listeners read by Brian Tracy called Eat That Frog. It’s it’s it’s a great it’s just a book on how to do the hardest things first because in how much is his process the energy it takes. Yeah. To be mulling that over in your mind Oh my gosh, I got this thing.

00;08;55;22 – 00;09;12;14

Mostly Aaron

I got to do the same thing. You know, and it steals away from everything else. And because you didn’t push into that one thing, you’ve actually wasted time. It’s made the storm longer when it could have been just like with the email. Oh, okay. Well, this is going to suck and get through it.

00;09;12;18 – 00;09;13;09

Mostly Jon

Eat it head on.

00;09;13;12 – 00;09;14;20

Mostly Aaron

And just be done. Okay.

00;09;15;19 – 00;09;31;02

Mostly Jon

So you it’s it’s so true in a in a book called Radical Candor. Highly recommend to read. It’s fantastic. One of my favorite quotes from it and I’ll make it G-rated is if you have to eat a poop sandwich, don’t nibble.

00;09;31;13 – 00;09;31;21

Mostly Aaron

No.

00;09;32;29 – 00;09;34;26

Mostly Jon

If you have to eat it, get it down right.

00;09;35;06 – 00;09;44;21

Mostly Aaron

And I said it to the kids to like when they there it is like it was the best way to improve sandwich. That’s why. Eat it as fast as you can.

00;09;44;21 – 00;09;45;11

Mostly Jon

Yeah don’t even.

00;09;46;08 – 00;09;46;20

Mostly Aaron

Don’t you.

00;09;47;06 – 00;10;14;17

Mostly Jon

Just did it it So it’s behind you. Right right. Just tackle it head on. And Rory Vaden, who’s a bestselling author, I’m not certain what he wrote. I’m pulling this out of the article we just mentioned, introduced this concept of a pain paradox, which is exactly what we’re talking about. It’s the pain paradox. Conceptually is the short term easy leads to long term difficulty, while long term difficulty leads to long term easing right?

00;10;15;03 – 00;10;41;14

Mostly Jon

I do believe that’s true. You know, in our pursuit of making something simpler, easier or avoiding a problem, we’re making our lives so much harder and we’re really turning a small issue into a gigantic problem. Right. You know, it was just a little more how I could kick back in and stop down. And now I have to climb it for four days, or at least in my mind, we’ve made this giant mountain of inertia.

00;10;41;15 – 00;10;45;10

Mostly Jon

Nothing, because we start dreading it, making anxiety and avoiding it. Right.

00;10;45;22 – 00;11;01;16

Mostly Aaron

This happens a lot with it is something I appreciate. You see, it’s something that we often do is there might be something that is annoying to you about another person. And I’m talking about me because I can annoy John. I know how to do it, but we’re in the secret.

00;11;01;16 – 00;11;02;26

Mostly Jon

We do this mutually together.

00;11;03;15 – 00;11;22;06

Mostly Aaron

That’s but it’s but the best thing you can do instead of like, secretly harboring this, like you’re like this guy’s idea, you know, like it’s, it’s more like, hey, by the way, let’s think about this. What do you think about it? And then it’s more like, Oh, that wasn’t as big a deal. Is that really like, you have to do this?

00;11;22;08 – 00;11;45;26

Mostly Aaron

This happens in any friendship and in relationships with bosses and plays with in your marriage. You know, you guys can think about the last fight you had maybe with your spouse and go, man, when you guys actually got to the work of getting through it, it really wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t days like you had in your head, like this person knows they’re doing this and this is going to be a fight.

00;11;45;26 – 00;12;05;06

Mostly Aaron

The whole way is, Hey, this thing I am like that. Like, oh, and another. Oh, you didn’t know that. Oh, well, don’t do that. Okay, well, then, you know, it’s not that simple, but it’s it’s generally a few minutes to get through that kind of thing, but we chop it up to be like this sad, crazy thing. It’s not that bad.

00;12;05;09 – 00;12;25;23

Mostly Jon

It’s so true. And I think that’s the avoidance of confrontation or perceived confrontation, right? Because like, who am I? Like this marriage partnership, friendships, Right. This is very true. And you don’t have these conversations all the time. And it’s not confrontational because we just hey, I have this perception here or this assumption. I want to make sure it’s right.

00;12;26;13 – 00;12;48;03

Mostly Jon

Right. And like, is this true? Is this what you want? Right. Because in just getting ahead of it, if I’m starting to feel frustrated or hurt or confused by something I’m perceiving or assuming, I think it could be 100% my problem because I don’t know what you’re thinking or we’ve not discussed it. So it’s like, Hey buddy, can you help me understand this specific point?

00;12;48;03 – 00;13;12;27

Mostly Jon

This is what I’m perceiving. This is what I assumed. Is that true or not? And then it’s like, Oh, wow, I was all messed up. But now I know that in 30 seconds from asking you, instead of allowing it to swing, you get frustrated and build up this big thing that if I keep swallowing, could be, you know, cause a big blow out between you and a big fight or a significant issue or just unnecessary friction.

00;13;13;12 – 00;13;17;04

Mostly Jon

And it’s like, no, we just we just talk about things as we think these are.

00;13;17;04 – 00;13;36;13

Mostly Aaron

And I’m bringing this up because like, it sounds like less of a a cool story to talk about some some big giant storm. Really most of life is the little stories, right? Yeah, the little things that like, oh, there’s a cloud on my desk plotting you about it and it’s like practice for the best. Like, it’s not always going to be like the big C-word or something, you know?

00;13;36;22 – 00;14;01;27

Mostly Aaron

That’s rare. What mostly happened inside the cancer versus confronts. Yeah. More daily and we we I think we become anemic with because we we don’t know how to walk into storms as it were, as it were we we do well when I want to point out in the article is we choose a different animal to act like you know there’s the buffalo that walked into the storm.

00;14;02;05 – 00;14;03;02

Mostly Aaron

Yep. Right.

00;14;03;13 – 00;14;14;15

Mostly Jon

And to that I won’t steal the thunder if you mean to read it. But yeah to that I think it’s so environmental. Right. So how about this? Actually we read it real quick and then and then I’ll say Yeah, yeah.

00;14;14;22 – 00;14;45;04

Mostly Aaron

Okay. So there’s the buffalo, the walk into the storm, and then there’s the other animals. I just read this piece here. The reaction of the to animals is and is interesting. Oh, sorry, Becca. Okay, but that’s not what the bison does as far as procrastination. Like, this is what they’re referencing rather than waiting out the storm or running away from the storm, the bison charges into taking it head on and running right through it.

00;14;45;04 – 00;15;18;16

Mostly Aaron

This has the effect of reducing the amount of exposure to the storm. On the contrary, cows have a different reaction. They run away from the storm receiving the brunt of the storm in the process. The reaction to animals is an interesting juxtaposition of free to roam bison versus the domesticated cow, the wild and free animal versus the captive cow to animals both from the same biological subspecies with two fundamentally different instinctual reactions to the stress of the storm.

00;15;18;16 – 00;15;50;07

Mostly Aaron

Every day we are all faced with challenges, both personally and professionally. Sometimes these challenges are the equivalent for the big storm that the bison takes head on. So there’s these two choices right through the bison, says Storm. The best way to get through a storm, they agree. I think that the good thing the good news is in the bison mentality is the storm is actually shorter the way they handle it, which I think we would all agree.

00;15;50;07 – 00;15;59;29

Mostly Aaron

And I don’t want the storm to be as long that real okay, good bad news in order for it to be shorter, it’s got to get harder. First, they have to.

00;15;59;29 – 00;16;00;17

Mostly Jon

Embrace it.

00;16;00;17 – 00;16;23;07

Mostly Aaron

And embrace it and resist because as we say and push right into it as they get harder. But they know that as you push it, the harder the storm’s coming at you, the faster it’s moving over you versus the cow there. It’s if we walk with the storm, it’s less severe. But of course, the cloud is falling the whole way.

00;16;23;28 – 00;16;37;25

Mostly Aaron

We I’ve been that person before and let the clouds rule over a day or a season. Worse yet, right now, there’s a choice you got to make. What do you want? Do you want a long term or short term?

00;16;38;09 – 00;17;24;29

Mostly Jon

Well, it’s interesting because in this conversation, storm equals adversity right there, synonymous with what we’re talking about, difficulty, problems that we’re facing. And it’s interesting because if you study the two herds side by side in the blizzard, the casualty rating is significantly lower on the bison than the the couch. And I just love that the concept of the free to roam bison, bison versus the domesticate cow, it’s it’s just this beautiful juxtaposition because when as long as there’s been cities in abundance of resources, you know, I think that that’s where the comfort and, you know, ability to live more lavishly has sunk in.

00;17;25;09 – 00;17;44;21

Mostly Jon

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with creature comforts or anything like that, but now we’re in a position out of necessity where we get to choose what mindset we want. I really think that this is more a systemic mindset or outlook on life perspective than just like a flippant choice, right? You have to develop the type of person you want to be.

00;17;44;21 – 00;18;06;08

Mostly Jon

Do I want to embody the spirit of a free, resilient being, or do I want to be dependent on others for security and comfort in my circumstances, for security and comfort and not know how to handle when the good graces of my circumstances run out?

00;18;07;20 – 00;18;33;06

Mostly Aaron

You, John, like the when I’m thinking I have seen the casualties of of not understanding this concept. I’ve been a casualty. Right. You’ve been injured. We’ve all not done this the right way. But what you’re speaking to is kind of a preparation mindset, like you’re embracing a mentality. But here’s the key with that. It’s timing. Like Noah didn’t build a boat.

00;18;33;06 – 00;18;40;11

Mostly Aaron

Well, it was raining, right? Like, you don’t get friends when it’s raining. Yeah, you get friends before the storm comes.

00;18;40;11 – 00;18;48;13

Mostly Jon

If you don’t prepare for winter in spring, the next winter, you die. The next one you’re going to do well. At least back in. Back then, like.

00;18;48;15 – 00;19;25;14

Mostly Aaron

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You absolutely. This is like life or death. Mm hmm. I, I when someone comes to you and they’re in the storm and you realize they didn’t do any preparations, it’s hard to do anything for them. Yeah. You know, like, if you’re listening to this now and you’re concerned that you don’t have that family support, that friends support that, that mentality that you built to get through these things, I would be very concerned about you because let me tell you something.

00;19;25;18 – 00;19;29;27

Mostly Aaron

This is a universal reality. The storm is coming. It hasn’t come already. A problem.

00;19;29;29 – 00;19;30;09

Mostly Jon

Is going to hit.

00;19;30;21 – 00;19;31;26

Mostly Aaron

It. Absolutely. Well, I.

00;19;33;07 – 00;19;50;00

Mostly Jon

I do think, though, that even if you’re not prepared, Brian, and you’re you’re kind of in this war as me state being afflicted through some adversity, it’s not hopeless. You know, like there is. You have a choice on how you’re going to continue reacting. Right.

00;19;50;00 – 00;19;56;16

Mostly Aaron

And you could still build the blow to voters or it’s not fun, you know? Yeah, you’re building a lot of raining on you, but.

00;19;56;18 – 00;20;20;24

Mostly Jon

You have a choice. And to come to it real quick, it’s interesting because if when when in a city you have this bison encounter in a field, right? They’re hungry, they’re cold. If they were thinking as human beings, let’s look at this. You have two people in a field, they’re backpacking, they’re out very different backgrounds. They’re both hungry, they’re both cold.

00;20;21;07 – 00;20;44;08

Mostly Jon

One person has this take ownership of my circumstances and find solutions mindset. The other one is very lived, a very comfortable existence and has ran from adversity. What do you think the thoughts you’re going to be thinking in that place? If I had to, if I had a guess and posit the one whose used to find working towards solutions and owning their circumstances is going to be sitting there and saying, okay, this is not pleasant.

00;20;45;02 – 00;21;01;17

Mostly Jon

How can I work to a position that allows me to put food on my stomach and get warm? Otherwise, how do I fix this? Right? They’re not looking for some savior to come help them. They’re not looking for they’re not saying woe is me, whereas the other person is going to be like, This is terrible. I’m a victim.

00;21;02;04 – 00;21;24;19

Mostly Jon

Why is it anyone helping me? This is the saddest thing in the world. It just makes you sick Hearing it makes you sick thinking about it. And that person in a life and death circumstance is significantly more likely to die. So they are singing the Woe for Me song verses that I better get to work fixing this song, you know, in that that too.

00;21;24;20 – 00;21;44;01

Mostly Jon

That to me is the underlining factor. Are you going to choose to foster the victim mentality and choose to look for someone to help you out of whatever problem or are you going to say, No, this is atrocious, this sucks, I’m angry, I’m sad. Now what? What am I going to do about it?

00;21;44;01 – 00;22;03;16

Mostly Aaron

Right, Right. Yeah, It’s the guy. It’s the guy that, you know, like I’m thinking of, like, the alien movies or the old the old suspense thriller movies. Like, it’s the guy that loses hope. That’s to die next. I mean, that’s like, Yeah, I mean, it’s generally how they set it up, right? Yeah. Edward Snowden. Yeah. No, you’re dead.

00;22;03;17 – 00;22;26;24

Mostly Aaron

You are. You’re. Yeah. Don’t be that character in the movie, right. Yeah, it’s true. But it’s but there’s always a hero. We want to be that you. What we’re like. Okay, this this situation sucks. Like, we’re not downplaying it. We’re not. We’re not, like, creating some cognitive dissonance, Like, turn over. Everything is fine. You know? It’s like, we don’t need that.

00;22;26;25 – 00;22;35;15

Mostly Aaron

Glad to know we don’t want to be that person that’s, like, not even in touch with reality. Reality is it needs to be embrace. That’s it. Yeah.

00;22;35;15 – 00;22;55;20

Mostly Jon

And that’s the perfect statement. Reality needs to be embraced. And that’s what I think is another way of looking at this. When the problem strikes, you can embrace the reality that you have something to deal with or are you going to just try to avoid it until and hope it goes away? It goes away, you know, And that’s where like if you’ve not prepared for whatever difficulties life staring at you right now, they’re endless.

00;22;56;13 – 00;23;12;04

Mostly Jon

But if you’re in this place of despair and you’re trying to avoid it like that’s were really are saying, I don’t think it’s hopeless for you. You just need right now you have a choice because we’re talking about it and we’re going to keep avoiding this garbage. Right. I’m going to keep looking for someone to come save me.

00;23;12;04 – 00;23;35;12

Mostly Jon

And for this to magically just walk away and leave me alone because the universe is good and it wants me to be happy right here. And this is the offer to, Hey, if you’re in this spot, you’re not prepared to take a look in the mirror, acknowledge that reality, take a look at your problem, and find some incremental small thing you can do to begin pushing into it and resolve it.

00;23;35;19 – 00;23;36;18

Mostly Aaron

Yeah, Anything.

00;23;36;24 – 00;23;53;07

Mostly Jon

Anything. Even if it’s a partial small solution, you can’t see the solution at the end. It’s too big and scary. That’s okay. What can you do in some small way to incrementally make it better, even if you have not slept or eaten because you’re so messed up from this, this maybe the best thing you can do is just force a meal.

00;23;53;23 – 00;24;13;04

Mostly Jon

Go get something fatty and protein dense. Get in your body because within 1015 minutes after doing that, your body physiologically you’re in a significantly better position on how you perceive the world. So maybe that is the the insignificance of the step you need to take right here. Night. I’m going to force myself to care for myself right now because I’m scared.

00;24;13;04 – 00;24;24;21

Mostly Jon

I don’t know how to handle the situation. I’ve been running from it. I don’t want to. I’m in despair, right? I’m alone. Okay? I challenge the assumption you’re alone, but maybe get some food in your stomach. Force it.

00;24;24;24 – 00;24;52;26

Mostly Aaron

John, This is. This is so good. Because when you talk about the person I’m talking about, I’m talking to myself, like, who has been in the storm and who’s going to be the star. And I want to say to Aaron or to John, are you going to storm? I want to talk against those voices and somebody saying, you know, this is happening because of that person or I’m not worthy or I’m not whatever, you know, it’s like you’re just this negative crap.

00;24;52;26 – 00;25;03;18

Mostly Aaron

You’re making the storm worse. It’s like it’s not even that bad and you’re just saying it’s worse than it is. You’re not a bad person. You’re just welcome to the club.

00;25;03;18 – 00;25;04;07

Mostly Jon

You’re in shock.

00;25;04;09 – 00;25;08;02

Mostly Aaron

Yeah. Is that. That’s going to the team. We’re doing this together.

00;25;08;05 – 00;25;36;12

Mostly Jon

Well, that’s where the preparation comes in. I think we owe some more conversation. What does preparation look like? Right, Because a fun example. Our septic system is on the rocks, right now. That’s a $20,000 problem. That’s terrible. The second you start thinking about that, the reaction for me, right, was to immediately extrapolate all the problems, all the loss of freedom, all the auxiliary things that happens that come with a price tag like that’s unexpected in a bad way, right.

00;25;36;12 – 00;25;57;19

Mostly Jon

But then if you tell yourself to shut up and you simplify the problem, it’s like, okay, well, me thinking about all this stuff doesn’t help. That’s when I can say, Well, what’s the next step? I need to get some advice from some professionals. Let’s do that. But evaluating and what do I need a week in preparing for that potential second or third order effects, Right.

00;25;57;29 – 00;26;14;17

Mostly Jon

I make that you just take the first step. You call the professionals and you take a deep breath. Well, I’m not going to continue on some other pursuit that is now threatened by this, but I am going to take a deep breath and wait till I talk to the professionals. Right. And I’m going to now say, what’s the next step I can do to plan for this contingency?

00;26;14;29 – 00;26;30;29

Mostly Jon

I’m not going to worry about all the auxiliary things. I’m just going to bring it very close, very near to what I can effect today and begin working through those things. And in the second you tell yourself to shut up and it doesn’t matter that bad or this or this, it’s okay at the end of day simplification, right?

00;26;31;18 – 00;26;36;28

Mostly Jon

All right. That sucks. It’s going to cost money. You’re going to have to figure out how to source that.

00;26;37;13 – 00;26;54;21

Mostly Aaron

The key is the key is to not go one way or the other on the pendulum. Yeah, it is what it is. Correct? It’s not more than it is. It’s not less than it is. Like I know you’re not putting your head into the rock either. You have done this, you know, like, don’t do that. Don’t ignore it.

00;26;54;28 – 00;27;17;23

Mostly Aaron

Right. Yeah. But at the same time, don’t say, Oh, this is going to ruin my life. And yeah, it’s not. You’re going to freak unless you’re going to like, I don’t care how bad the situation is right now. You’re going to you’re still going to breathe. You’re still going to get through it. Right now. Don’t tell yourself that there’s no way out and there is a solution.

00;27;18;14 – 00;27;29;18

Mostly Aaron

You just got to open your eyes and look. And the reality is the the helicopter could fly over you while you’re drowning, but if you’re the woe is me, you won’t see the helicopter. Even, you know, you got to get out. You got to snap out of it.

00;27;30;08 – 00;27;52;05

Mostly Jon

Absolutely. And it’s kind of a shame restrictions issue because in episode eight with the Walkers, we were joking around about how there’s a bunch of people in the car and they were with Billy Walker’s dad and they’re all at this really long lines, like 5 minutes in the wet, still red and everyone’s got there’s a6a long line. And then Mr. Walker is like long wait.

00;27;52;19 – 00;28;15;17

Mostly Jon

Yeah. So that that’s it. It’s, that’s tongue in cheek and hilarious but it’s like, oh septic system needs repaired. Okay? It’s when you simplify things, it gives you a okay, it’s less scary. I’m not going to allow myself to turn this into a mountain. Even if it is, I’m going to figure out how to start climbing. You know, it’s like we have this problem.

00;28;15;17 – 00;28;23;21

Mostly Jon

So how the heck do we prepare for whatever the situation may be? Yes. What can we do to because it’s a mindset, right? How do you foster it?

00;28;23;26 – 00;28;50;29

Mostly Aaron

Well, I see first of all, the bison to me is a great word picture. I hear these guys like you see bison, they hang out herds. That’s what like if you see one alone and there’s none for miles or something from go that’s in trouble, There’s yes, something. So I think, first of all, is surrounding yourself not with just not we’re just other bodies around you, but bison.

00;28;51;20 – 00;29;19;03

Mostly Aaron

Bison, all animals, cows. And I don’t say that to me like a boy. People don’t think like you always. There’s just going to be situations where family is a great example. We don’t know that anybody in the family is moving the same way as a herd. I’m talking about choosing the people that are going to go through this because what you don’t need in the stone comes is a bunch of people running around panicking or have a tendency to do so.

00;29;20;15 – 00;29;27;17

Mostly Aaron

All of our friends. And sometimes there’s a gravitational pull to it. We all agree that when storms come, this is what we’re going to go into.

00;29;28;03 – 00;29;50;23

Mostly Jon

But that’s beautiful because the base you’re talking about, your baseline character that’s being fostered and grown, you have to be selective of your inner circle. You have to be because you’re going to have days where it’s rough. I’m going to beige birch rough. That’s the point of being friends with each other because our baseline character is strength, you know, that’s the goal and that’s what we’re working to foster character, these different things.

00;29;51;05 – 00;30;15;02

Mostly Jon

So if you’re hitting adversity, I’ve got your back. Yeah. And vice versa, right? When your inner circle works to foster positive attributes, Yes. Then when there is weakness and it will come, or when the storm or when the wolves or the problems come and threaten, you’re not alone in facing them. And we’re you may come up short. Thank God you have a good inner circle where I hope you do right.

00;30;15;12 – 00;30;42;25

Mostly Jon

And it if you don’t mind that there’s another analogy I can play with for a second. It’s really fun. You said if the bison’s out by itself, it’s in trouble. There’s this lie especially, well, in whatever circles it’s prevalent of like this helpful mindset, right? Like being a football field, lone wolf. It’s like they’re losers. So in the eighties, there’s a bunch of studies and they actually learned that the lone wolf is a wolf in crisis.

00;30;42;25 – 00;31;12;09

Mostly Jon

They’re they’re typically young and looking for a pack to establish or old and kicked out to die like. All right, you’re not carrying your weight or you’re causing too many problems. Get out of here. And so that that creature is in crisis. It’s not in a good place when it’s alone. The alpha wolf is in a pair with its partner, and they lead the pack as a as as largely an extended family unit.

00;31;12;09 – 00;31;38;07

Mostly Jon

Between that partnership of the the height, the top of the hierarchy, male and female. So it’s really an alpha pair. You have the alpha male and female that are completely sync and they lead this family and of wolves right together. And so it just it’s a complete and that’s what was discovered this study starting in the eighties actually called wolves ago are perceptions is wrong it’s not the alpha wolf that’s this big bad, crazy scary thing You’re wrong.

00;31;38;28 – 00;32;06;17

Mostly Jon

You’re in trouble by yourself. But if you surround yourself and you create that tight inner circle of people pursuing a similar ideal can encourage one another in pursuit of that ideal, then you have strengths, you have balance. You have all these actions like these positive things that come. And I love it because it’s also such an attack on selfishness or justification of like why I’m this way or whatever.

00;32;07;26 – 00;32;31;21

Mostly Jon

And it’s slightly tangential, but it’s directly related because you can’t be that guy out by yourself and not be in some level of crisis. And and if you’re hardened to the point where you don’t see the danger you’re in, that’s where when the weather gets rough, you’re going to start to realize really quickly, oh, I’m not in the best place, because when I fall down, who’s going to help me out?

00;32;32;20 – 00;32;34;07

Mostly Aaron

No, that’s right.

00;32;34;07 – 00;32;34;15

Mostly Jon

Right.

00;32;34;29 – 00;33;03;16

Mostly Aaron

You’re also really exposed to being a victim. Yeah. I mean, there’s there are predators out there, like in addition to storms. Are those that will that do want to take you out in this life, you know, 100%. And so I’ll tell you what, the best way to fend off of those up front next to you. I mean, that’s yeah, that’s how you survive that so that the bison get that as big as they are.

00;33;04;01 – 00;33;08;24

Mostly Aaron

If you’ve ever been around bison like they don’t like, you can drive your car up to one and it is like.

00;33;09;01 – 00;33;10;00

Mostly Jon

Melt over your car.

00;33;11;15 – 00;33;23;08

Mostly Aaron

That’s right. Yeah. Yeah. If they feel a challenge of this out of this trash. So they’re tough, but they’re not so tough as to think they can go it alone either way.

00;33;23;08 – 00;33;45;02

Mostly Jon

Yeah. Because if they’re alone, like that, pack of wolves will eat them. You know? Yeah, it’s interesting, because this is such a communal thing, and I think we keep coming back to that. This mindset is communal and I think I think it’s because we are the culmination of what we do. Yeah, right. Which even furthers the culmination of how we think or what we allow ourselves to think, right?

00;33;45;10 – 00;34;12;11

Mostly Jon

So like when talking about preparation, if I did like I’ll just throw out three really high level thoughts on it and like, let’s look at that for a second. So when I look at preparation, I’m thinking, okay, who am I surrounding myself with? What types of thought patterns in my life and myself, and what am I doing holistically or physically to kind of gird myself up for the next challenge?

00;34;12;26 – 00;34;30;14

Mostly Jon

You know, like, how am I how am I preparing for the next challenge, right? So it’s like the date, like when the sun shining, the food is plentiful, there’s no problems, there’s money in the bank. I’m not in a fight with anyone. There’s no foe on the horizon. How am I preparing for the next thing? What types of patterns of thought am I going through?

00;34;30;21 – 00;34;32;07

Mostly Jon

Who am I spending the sunny days with?

00;34;33;03 – 00;34;58;07

Mostly Aaron

You know. Good. Yeah. It’s not it’s not taking advantage of or taking for granted the sunny days. That’s a reason that there to me, if you have a sunny day, maybe it’s a gift to prepare for something that’s coming and then not to be so not to be like so pessimistic about tomorrow. I’m not saying that at all.

00;34;58;26 – 00;35;30;17

Mostly Aaron

I just think I think honestly, these terms are gifts that to me the mentality is a shift from storms being this terrible thing. I think storms are testers. MM I’ve heard I’ve heard it said that it’s the faces are created in the storm. It’s, it’s shown. Yeah. And to me if a storm comes and you have prepared for that storm it just kind of shows, hey this is what you’re made of and this is what you’re not made of.

00;35;30;27 – 00;35;39;19

Mostly Aaron

So sometimes a storm can just create like like a vacancy that you need to fill. Wow. I mean, I was not ready for that. I think that really got a hold of me.

00;35;39;20 – 00;35;41;24

Mostly Jon

Good. What are you going to do? You know, that type of thing?

00;35;41;28 – 00;36;00;21

Mostly Aaron

Yeah, absolutely. And the storm will eventually pass and then you can kind of assess the damages and go. And I was not the foundation for that house is not as good as I thought. You know, things got torn off there. So. Okay. All right. Well, when that happened again.

00;36;00;21 – 00;36;17;02

Mostly Jon

It is funny because if I just had this kind of human side, it’s like, what if it doesn’t go away? Suddenly you die. So assuming you sought you or your life, you have hope to be able to affect these things. Right? And if you don’t answer, it’s too late. You’re fine. It’s not your problem anymore.

00;36;18;07 – 00;36;35;23

Mostly Aaron

But so using the sunny day. Yeah. To to prepare that mentality to get get things in order more in order than they need to be. Yep. Not letting comfort let you swing back the other way and get weaker rather gird, which you already know.

00;36;36;01 – 00;36;55;18

Mostly Jon

Think of how foolish it is. Like if you learn something like let’s say you don’t have a savings account at all, right? And then your tires get blown out. Yeah. And now you can’t pay for new tires, right? As an assumptive metaphor, you work out, you get through it, you finally get the tires, whatever. You’re back on track.

00;36;56;01 – 00;37;03;14

Mostly Jon

How foolish is it to then not take anything from what you just learned to prepare for a few times?

00;37;03;25 – 00;37;04;14

Mostly Aaron

Right. Right.

00;37;04;26 – 00;37;09;20

Mostly Jon

So it’s like, okay, think that’s behind me. All right. Hey, did you start saying stop? Nope.

00;37;09;20 – 00;37;10;08

Mostly Aaron

Okay.

00;37;10;28 – 00;37;12;02

Mostly Jon

Glad you learned something there.

00;37;12;09 – 00;37;19;15

Mostly Aaron

But it’s it’s like driving. Driving weeks on a donut. Yeah. You know, you got to love it. That was a Band-Aid.

00;37;20;22 – 00;37;21;10

Mostly Jon

So Band-Aid.

00;37;21;21 – 00;37;22;14

Mostly Aaron

Not a solution.

00;37;22;14 – 00;37;41;23

Mostly Jon

It’s fraying. And it’s funny because you talked about how the storms are a good thing. And I think that’s true because it’s like, why is the Don beautiful? Because it just was dark. You know, why is spring such a time of joy for people? Because they just weathered winter. Yes. You know, if you’re hungry, food tastes a lot better than if you just stay.

00;37;41;29 – 00;38;02;01

Mostly Jon

Right. You know, we’re we’re meant to go through these cycles and seasons. I think. Yeah. And and that’s where it’s like, yeah, the adversity can make you stronger. And I think that concept is integral to what we’re talking about with for a lot of people, it’s like, Yeah, I welcome the next storm. Why the heck do you welcome a problem into your life?

00;38;02;11 – 00;38;19;17

Mostly Jon

Well, of course I don’t want it, but I’m throwing everything I got being prepared for. So when it comes, I’m going to learn and test that preparation. And the other thing, because you’re like, Oh, don’t be overly pessimistic. And I agree. We can enjoy the weather, we can enjoy the positive parts of life. We can have peace and contentment in them.

00;38;19;27 – 00;38;31;09

Mostly Jon

But it’s really a matter of while you’re having peace and contentment, don’t forget the lessons you learned. If we if we can apply them and if we can put them into practice, then we can even find contentment in the rough spots of.

00;38;31;09 – 00;38;32;15

Mostly Aaron

Life on some.

00;38;32;15 – 00;38;35;25

Mostly Jon

Level. Yeah. You know, and it’s a more even felt content.

00;38;35;25 – 00;39;02;23

Mostly Aaron

It is. That’s right. It makes both the sunny day and the start better because the sunny days, it’s tempered with the sober judgment as this is a gift like this isn’t normal to have sunny days all the time. You know, I’m talking about the perfect situation. As you say, everything’s in order. You know, that’s important. But if if I think that’s normal, like I say, this is what I am deserved, I guess.

00;39;03;07 – 00;39;03;13

Mostly Aaron

Yeah.

00;39;03;13 – 00;39;03;20

Mostly Jon

I’m like.

00;39;04;04 – 00;39;07;19

Mostly Aaron

Yeah, you title entitled? Yeah, like, of course Sunny Day.

00;39;07;19 – 00;39;10;07

Mostly Jon

Because I deserve a sun.

00;39;10;07 – 00;39;16;14

Mostly Aaron

I deserve these sunny days. You don’t deserve any. Yeah you just get what you get you know and and don’t.

00;39;16;14 – 00;39;16;22

Mostly Jon

Picture.

00;39;16;22 – 00;39;29;15

Mostly Aaron

Fit Yeah that’s you dad stock here man All the things he said he wouldn’t say whether when her dad didn’t do it right but that sunny the sunny days like this you get this and enjoy.

00;39;29;15 – 00;39;30;07

Mostly Jon

It it’s a gift.

00;39;30;10 – 00;39;42;19

Mostly Aaron

It’s absolutely gifts And then when the storm comes, it’s it’s not it’s not terrible. Woe is me. It’s just another day. Well, sometimes it sucks to walk through it.

00;39;42;20 – 00;40;05;29

Mostly Jon

I think that’s 100% true. But also that’s the gift of a mature mindset in this concept, right? Because I think that’s something you can look forward to. Like, if this is just advice, hearing this, I’m just like, Nope, don’t agree. Think you’re crazy. It’s it’s because I’ve not seen the truth of it yet. Right. And that does come with evidence of it.

00;40;06;09 – 00;40;23;06

Mostly Jon

And that’s where it’s like, okay, well, yeah, if you’re just being thrashed right now and you don’t have this resilience, you’re not doing anything in your life to prepare for when things aren’t peachy keen, then it’s going to be hard to hear this. But, but the truth of the matter is, what can you do to start grieving this situation through?

00;40;23;06 – 00;40;44;26

Mostly Jon

Can you walk with that will actually help you walk through to not just encourage you to keep throwing your life away or like being the victim, Right. Or trying to avoid the adversity and trust from those who walked before you. And this is the power of having mentors, which is a separate context wherever you are in life, that it will get better if you keep pushing it.

00;40;45;00 – 00;41;03;16

Mostly Jon

The only way that you can guarantee that it’s going to get better is if you like. The only way that I think you can influence if it’s going to get better is by pushing it. Otherwise, you can’t guarantee that it’s going to go away. If you keep running from it, it may last until you don’t. If you keep avoiding it.

00;41;03;22 – 00;41;26;15

Mostly Aaron

It’s going to sometimes if you haven’t prepared well, this is going to really, really suck more than it needed to be. But hey, you’re okay. So you’re here. You didn’t prepare. It’s obvious. What’s the fastest way through it? Push through it, and the first thing you have to do is really embrace the reality of suffering. Don’t avoided the shadow of the rock and make it more than it is.

00;41;26;15 – 00;41;31;18

Mostly Aaron

You just kind of go like, this is really hard, but it will end and has a finish line.

00;41;32;15 – 00;41;50;18

Mostly Jon

And it will end. And looking at like the preparation, how do you like, let’s say I’m sitting here, it’s like I want to be look at the bison, the cow. I want to kill the cow, feed the bison. Right. Like in myself, right, Right. Like every chance I smell that cow type of side of like, I’m going to run from this.

00;41;50;18 – 00;42;08;25

Mostly Jon

I want to avoid it. I want to kill that. And that happens all the time. It’s so easy with like instant messenger and remote working on these things. You’re in some sort of a confrontation. You get the message that I’m just going to wait for 3 seconds, no snap, right to it, respond right. Like snap, right to it, read it, and then think about your response.

00;42;08;25 – 00;42;28;10

Mostly Jon

If you take time, take time after you’ve read it, don’t take time anticipating what you’re going to read. Right. And so it’s it’s kind of like even in preparation comes in the microscope. Right. And in the small things, if you’re like avoiding it comes in. I’m going to do the best I can to deliberately jump into that. Right?

00;42;28;20 – 00;42;52;04

Mostly Jon

It comes so like, that’s one way I think you prepare. It’s like, don’t underplay adversity either. And justify putting it off, tackling it immediately so that you can condition the response in the small things to be better prepared to act the same in a big. There’s this concept in the military or I’ve heard in the military. I think it’s big in sports too.

00;42;52;04 – 00;43;30;27

Mostly Jon

I don’t follow sports as much, but that when you hit like when a plan hits combat first contact or like when players hit the field, right, they will immediately like when they’re system gets tested beyond what they’re typically comfortable with, they will immediately revert to their lowest level of training and equipping. So it’s like if you’re not equipping yourself in those micro things, the messages or the small stuff or the confronting yourself and the inappropriate thoughts that are detracting from me becoming better then, how do you expect to properly respond to a foe across the table or in life event?

00;43;31;12 – 00;43;56;28

Mostly Aaron

You know, it’s so funny how the fundamentals serve you that you may you may have a lesser or you may have a lesser style, but the fundamentals will protect you if you get them really strong. Yeah, you have. But it comes from really looking back at a time when you failed and you have to you have to agree that that was not good.

00;43;57;20 – 00;44;00;05

Mostly Jon

That is true. You have to call it what it is, right.

00;44;00;11 – 00;44;19;01

Mostly Aaron

All the way. I like to paint it with a different light like I was a victim or that was a weird thing that happened or was a fluke. It was a fluke. I would rather I would rather look back and go, Man, I don’t ever want to feel like that. I don’t ever want to feel like that again.

00;44;20;09 – 00;44;24;05

Mostly Aaron

That that was not okay. What am I going to do to not do that?

00;44;24;19 – 00;44;25;27

Mostly Jon

That takes courage, though.

00;44;26;03 – 00;44;26;20

Mostly Aaron

It does make.

00;44;26;25 – 00;44;43;04

Mostly Jon

You have to make a judgment. Call like that was bad, right? That was not good, right? No. Right. That can be true if you’re hanging out. That’s scary. Yeah, right. That can be true of circumstances that you’ve taken for granted. Are it that scary? What are the implications when you own that?

00;44;43;04 – 00;44;48;21

Mostly Aaron

Exactly. You know, it it makes it a lot easier to make the next decision on what you’re going to do about it. Yeah.

00;44;49;04 – 00;45;09;25

Mostly Jon

But it’s also scary because if you’re bound up in something and you know it’s bad and you justify it or you’re like, Yeah, I know it’s bad, but you don’t acknowledge what that means, right? If something’s bad, you ought to stop it. If it’s not good, you ought to change the circumstances. You to work for solution to make it better.

00;45;10;06 – 00;45;30;16

Mostly Jon

Right? And I love what you said. You have to own that. It’s not good. That is such a crazy thought, though. And I do think it’s pretty countercultural because what if that means you need to find a new job? Or what if that means you need to stop dating someone or you need to limit your time spent with a friend you’ve had for a while because you’re not good for each other despite enjoying each other’s company.

00;45;31;03 – 00;45;45;02

Mostly Jon

You know? Or you need to stop some personally. Like that realization. How much easier is it just to live in denial and think, Oh, this is how it is, or this problem will pass or this is someone else’s problem, not mine? You know, it’s wild.

00;45;45;02 – 00;46;06;26

Mostly Aaron

When you take like this kind of you give yourself your own kind of physical. Yeah. And go, all right, that we can happen. How do I feel spiritually? Physically, Yeah. How did that how the goals I set for myself. Did that help? It didn’t hurt it. This is a you in the mirror conversation.

00;46;06;26 – 00;46;07;11

Mostly Jon

It is.

00;46;07;11 – 00;46;31;04

Mostly Aaron

Great. It’s not a it’s not you having to pander to a crowd. It’s like, what do you want? I mean, look in the mirror right now and go, is this is are these decisions helping me right now in life? Yeah. I mean, even making my own store that I need to push out of this and they ask the hard questions, make the hard decisions so I can get through this.

00;46;31;04 – 00;46;35;08

Mostly Aaron

Really not good. Such a good season faster.

00;46;35;19 – 00;46;55;21

Mostly Jon

But it’s personal before it’s relational. Like how can I lead my family if I haven’t screwed myself up? Right? You know, like my wife is in trouble if she’s relying on me for anything, anything and I’m a mess, she’s in trouble, right? I can’t. And I can’t help her out of a situation she’s working in, if I’m honest.

00;46;55;26 – 00;47;19;18

Mostly Jon

Right. So it’s like, I just love what you say If you broke the mirror. Don’t have them get one because you have to look into this. This starts with the person personal. And like once you put yourself as much in order and you set your trajectory at an ideal, that’s difficult to obtain and you’re working towards that, then you’re best positioned, not well-positioned but best position possible for your circumstances to help someone else that’s near you.

00;47;19;22 – 00;47;24;17

Mostly Jon

Yeah, you know, but until then, it’s like the blind leading the blind or the drowning saying it’s drowning. It’s a good luck, man.

00;47;24;25 – 00;47;33;10

Mostly Aaron

Yeah, that’s rough. Yeah. Don’t. Don’t head it. Don’t hang out in the. I don’t know what the military term is that the med tent or you guys can’t win. Yeah.

00;47;33;18 – 00;47;35;16

Mostly Jon

Don’t. Don’t hang on. How about on the sidelines?

00;47;35;16 – 00;47;40;24

Mostly Aaron

Right. The sidelines. Yeah. You know, if you’re injured, it’s not. That’s not a permanent situation. You never.

00;47;41;04 – 00;47;41;22

Mostly Jon

Get rid of the bunny.

00;47;41;22 – 00;47;52;06

Mostly Aaron

Slippers. Yeah, know slippers. It’s the epitome of the slight chill they get every day mentality like.

00;47;52;07 – 00;48;18;20

Mostly Jon

And think about that. Okay. I want to embrace the, the tackling the problems mindsets like, well, how do you prepare? Well, if food’s a problem and you know, winter’s coming, how do you prepare? You plant your your crops in the harvest and the spring and you hunt as much as possible. Right. And it’s like, okay, if I know that some problems are going to strike and my car is going to need repaired or there’s going to be repair in the home or medical bill or something, how do you prepare for that?

00;48;18;20 – 00;48;55;07

Mostly Jon

You get some money in the bank, you know, how do you prepare just holistically to the best of your ability for all these things? I think you sharpen your mind and strengthen your body. You Know those are great analogies to look at for the concept of, well, how do I strengthen my body and sharpen my mind? I think, oh, simply put, I think that putting yourself in physical adversity, like whatever that is, walking, running, lifting sports, anything hiking, putting yourself, forcing yourself into the circumstances helps build that store of resilience in the mind.

00;48;55;07 – 00;49;01;13

Mostly Jon

It’s like reading, charging your own assumptions and who you surround yourself with. Yes, you know, that’s my thought. What do you think?

00;49;01;14 – 00;49;34;19

Mostly Aaron

I think I think it’s it’s amazing how some how you can change when you look at the reality situation, how you can make actually you can actually make things harder to get a better result. I’m thinking right away of like the single mom, like shout out to single moms out there that when they’re faced with this very difficult situation, some loser boyfriend or whatever took off and he chose the easy route to go and make even worse decisions, whatever that the mom dad assessing the situation.

00;49;34;19 – 00;49;55;18

Mostly Aaron

This sucks. I’m already having a living a hard life now I’m going to go to school, become a nurse for whatever those those decisions, like I’m going to go to work and go to school, which is even harder because I want to get out of this situation and then have it have a better rhythm. I think that’s incredible to me that women out there can dig deep.

00;49;55;24 – 00;50;00;09

Mostly Aaron

I know men do it, too. And this is this is a situation in my mind that happens all the time.

00;50;00;20 – 00;50;21;26

Mostly Jon

We’re also we’re often confronted with a case that’s I think I can think of a handful of like exactly the prototype you just discussed. You know, it’s like whatever the circumstance. Absolutely. But and that to me is like when when it hits the fan really bad and you no longer can hide behind a lie that things are going to go away.

00;50;22;00 – 00;50;39;24

Mostly Jon

Right? You can no longer hide behind the whatever. That’s when you’re confronted with that big choice. And not everyone makes the choice to push it. That’s right. And you see that, too. So, you know, it’s like a Cuda. It’s like if your world just fell apart, your spouse died or left you and you’re left with a mess to clean up, you have a choice.

00;50;40;15 – 00;51;02;06

Mostly Jon

And there’s those that you just described who push in and figure out, how do I make this better for myself and for my children? And then there’s those who don’t, and we don’t talk about them because they’re stories of despair and heartbreak. Right. That end very, very badly. Right. And it goes back to yeah, when the world’s falling apart around you and you’re not prepared, that’s where you have the choice in that.

00;51;02;06 – 00;51;20;29

Mostly Jon

There’s so much hope in that sense. There’s this there’s this lady who was at a party and she was talking to a psychiatrist at the party and she’s like, All right, I have a question for you. Okay. So what is it? And he’s like, Please tell me that there’s something wrong here. She had been sharing this struggle. She’s going to say, please tell me there’s something wrong with me.

00;51;22;00 – 00;51;44;03

Mostly Jon

Why do you want to know that wrong with you? And she’s like, Because if something’s wrong with me, I can work to fix it. If this is just how the world is, then there’s no point in living. And it was so interesting to hear that story because it’s to me, it’s antithetical to the lie of domestication, security being, taking care of being a victim.

00;51;44;15 – 00;52;09;26

Mostly Jon

Right. It directly stabs it in the heart. Because if you choose the more dangerous freedom and choose ownership. Right. And here, like freedom is ownership of circumstances and working for solution domestication is avoidance of problems in that victimhood mentality, right? If you choose ownership mentality, there’s good news for you. There’s a way to potentially fix it. If you’re a victim, you’re at the whims of everything around you.

00;52;10;07 – 00;52;11;20

Mostly Jon

There’s no fixing it. What’s the point?

00;52;12;04 – 00;52;22;25

Mostly Aaron

I don’t know how long that storms in the last victim. You could As far as I know, you’re walking with it and it could for as long as it goes. Yeah. Yeah.

00;52;23;05 – 00;52;38;00

Mostly Jon

And just like with the bison cows, more cows die walking with the storm than bison do walking through it. So it’s like there’s no guarantee that it’s going to pass and you’re going to be okay, you know, like you could be killed by this or it could ruin you.

00;52;38;11 – 00;52;58;14

Mostly Aaron

Part of part of it, too. And I want to make. Sure. I don’t miss this. I’m looking at my my wife’s in my head right now. She’s saying they’re being more compassionate. And I’m thinking this storm to say, you know, when you walk to the storm, I’m not talking about someone who’s just like, you know, just gritting their teeth and just walking through.

00;52;58;15 – 00;53;22;16

Mostly Aaron

I’m talking about sometimes the work of walking through a storm is sitting down and crying with somebody like, yeah, that’s right. Yeah, it really sucks. And anybody come over like, I’m just gonna sit with you right now. I’m here. That’s the work. I’m walking to the storm. It’s not always like lifting the weight and carrying it similar. Oftentimes it’s really being really honest about where you’re at.

00;53;23;07 – 00;53;49;10

Mostly Aaron

Stopping, assessing. I just thought to myself, Do I need a rest right now? I can’t run the muscles for it. It’s like, All right, resting is your job right now. You need to get your heart, your mind back so you walk through. But we’re not giving up on walking through it. We’re just. We’re just making intentional decisions right now so that you can make it through this whole.

00;53;49;10 – 00;54;22;12

Mostly Jon

What a great counterbalance, man. Because it does it does get pretty calloused and matter of fact, pretty quickly. But you’re right, like the human element of it, going back to like the Neil thing, maybe the best thing you can do is just get some food in your body. You know, if it’s beaten you up so bad, maybe you just can’t climb under a rock in like or under a bush and just sleep for in some shelter, get some shelter, recuperate, like take that tactical pause, take that moment to gird up whatever resources are available to you to recharge a little bit.

00;54;22;12 – 00;54;22;21

Mostly Aaron

Yes.

00;54;23;13 – 00;54;49;24

Mostly Jon

The difference there is you’re not assuming the problem is going to go away. The difference here is you’re doing what’s actually necessary to get whatever you can in your grasp to begin moving forward again and solving the thing in. You’re right, that could just be mourning through despair for a little bit and allowing yourself to grieve so that you can remove that weight off yourself and then have a better chance of moving forward.

00;54;49;24 – 00;54;58;16

Mostly Jon

Because if you’re carrying £100 and trying to weather the storm, it’s a lot harder. So I’d like to your point, maybe you just have to sit and cry. Yes. Maybe you just have to.

00;54;59;05 – 00;55;01;16

Mostly Aaron

Feel the loss of whatever it was. Yeah.

00;55;01;17 – 00;55;08;08

Mostly Jon

But grieve it. Yeah. And then when you get back up, say, I’m not going to carry this because I have to solve something and I have to fix it.

00;55;08;13 – 00;55;21;18

Mostly Aaron

That to me is more that to me is very much like mentality. I don’t want to discount that because I think the car mentality is keep on going and if you’ve ever been too tired and you’ve been doing some tasks to start dropping tools, you just everything.

00;55;21;18 – 00;55;22;10

Mostly Jon

Enjoy yourself.

00;55;22;10 – 00;55;48;07

Mostly Aaron

And do everything is that’s easy is actually very difficult because you’re just tired, you know, sometimes you just need to call it like, I’m going to rest tomorrow and be fresh. We’ve all had to make that decision. Hopefully, you know, you’ve got to be wise and go home and take it. I’m going to take this on tomorrow and it’s way better, you know, But cows like going to just don’t think the zombie get through this.

00;55;48;14 – 00;55;55;10

Mostly Aaron

That’s the right thing to do. I would beg to differ. I don’t think you’re I don’t think you’re being is intentional. You need to be.

00;55;55;22 – 00;56;19;00

Mostly Jon

Yeah you’re it’s it’s being in touch with the reality of your situation. Right. To me, it just goes back to you. If you’re truly owning the circumstances, you’re in and the reality of it, then you’ll realize I maybe can’t take another step right now. And that comes back to the compassion piece of what do I need to do to get the strength to start walking again and to own it?

00;56;19;00 – 00;56;36;24

Mostly Jon

And that’s a very fair, very real thing, depending on what you’re walking through and, you know, on the human level, experts say force a meal, you know, get something in your body, force rash and can’t sleep. Just put yourself in a peaceful situation to at least do the best you can at recuperation for a bit. You know.

00;56;36;28 – 00;56;38;01

Mostly Aaron

Take a nap outside.

00;56;38;04 – 00;56;55;11

Mostly Jon

Take a walk, whatever that may be. You know, if you have it, like get a hug. You know, if you can’t get a hug, do whatever whatever it is that you’re like, this is the most important thing that in my mind is embracing the problem. It is pushing it because those are realities that you feel.

00;56;56;07 – 00;57;13;24

Mostly Aaron

Like John is you. You texted me and say, Hey, can we do lunch this week? And I might go, Hey, I’m busy, but if you text me, said I need a lunch this week, then I’d be like, This is a priority. Like, if I could. It’s easier to just encourage, like, Look.

00;57;14;18 – 00;57;15;07

Mostly Jon

I’m in trouble.

00;57;15;11 – 00;57;32;09

Mostly Aaron

I’m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just be just for just one second. All I need is like, 5 seconds of courage or of bravery just to be like. I need to have coffee sent. Yeah. With that person that you need to deal with. Right?

00;57;32;09 – 00;57;51;29

Mostly Jon

And it’s interesting, too, because that’s such a good point. Because you can’t assume that people are in your beck and call. So it’s like you need support and you’re like, I’m so alone and say, Hey, Erin, can we have lunch? Just freaking out. God, this week’s not getting in. And then I’m like, Was me? No one’s here for me.

00;57;52;11 – 00;57;53;00

Mostly Aaron

Yeah, yeah.

00;57;53;08 – 00;57;55;01

Mostly Jon

Yeah, yeah. Guy doesn’t care.

00;57;55;02 – 00;57;56;00

Mostly Aaron

The world doesn’t care.

00;57;56;08 – 00;58;19;13

Mostly Jon

The world. I’m so loved. It’s like, Well, you didn’t really give your body much of a chance to understand your circumstances, man. Like, if it’s like I. I know. Like, if I ask him, you’re like, no. This week’s magic, All right? I really need lunch or something. Yeah. And then we make that happen and say, Well, it’s kind of incumbent on to ask her if they have a need to make the need known.

00;58;20;13 – 00;58;38;04

Mostly Jon

And then, like, if no one responds to it, it could be one of two things. Either A you’ve abused that through the relationships for so long that there’s you don’t have any equity in the relationship and you’ve kind of put yourself in a bad situation, or B, maybe that person shouldn’t be part of your inner circle sister Yeah.

00;58;39;00 – 00;58;46;26

Mostly Aaron

Yeah. And when a friend’s isn’t available, I might just turn to a good book, you know, some good other voices. I mean, we can borrow friendships.

00;58;46;26 – 00;58;47;22

Mostly Jon

Fresh perspective.

00;58;47;22 – 00;58;56;17

Mostly Aaron

Right? Yeah, that that’s a great way to. To keep going through it. Like, I can’t. I don’t understand what to do next. Their voices. So many women have excuse.

00;58;56;17 – 00;59;23;11

Mostly Jon

Motivational videos and anything. It’s like, yeah, let’s not drown or depression with sad music, you know, like it’s not just do and watch depressing music. It’s like if I’m depressed, what level of industrial optimism can I stomach? Let’s find that and absorb it. Right? Exactly. Even if it makes me angry, hearing it like, let’s let’s put some positive counterbalance in my mind right now, you know?

00;59;23;12 – 00;59;26;02

Mostly Aaron

Oh, goodness, that’s awesome. Rock or something.

00;59;26;05 – 00;59;26;09

Mostly Jon

Yeah.

00;59;26;12 – 00;59;53;21

Mostly Aaron

Anything spark that fire. But yeah, go ahead. I’m sorry. No. What were you going to say? Well, I was going to move to just another section. Yeah. I don’t want to forget about. Please do for me. Yeah, absolutely. So the last lesson to my mind is, is one thing I think is really helpful, at least in the work world, is to give yourself a finish line for something if you can.

00;59;54;03 – 01;00;21;08

Mostly Aaron

Okay, So I hear it’s it’s like the American way to brag about how busy is actually is number one way to know if you guys are struggling. I’m busy busy breathing I 3 minutes like you. You’re alive, you’re busy. Whatever. I would I would say challenge busy with being more intentional about why you’re busy and how you’re pushing through things.

01;00;21;08 – 01;00;44;07

Mostly Aaron

And if you really want to accomplish something that’s big and something that you haven’t done before, give yourself a reward and a finish line. So let’s say, for example, I want to get a sales goal or something like that. That’s like, All right, this is what I do. It’s going to suck. It’s going to be more hours, it’s going to be more intentionality, going to do things that are comfortable, that are not normally done.

01;00;44;10 – 01;01;04;14

Mostly Aaron

I know they’re uncomfortable because I haven’t been doing them. Otherwise I’d be at this level, right? Yeah. But I can’t build run like that forever. I can’t create a difficult situation like that without some kind of I’m going to do it for this long or these other words. I’m going to have a long way. I would call those sort of breaths.

01;01;04;23 – 01;01;05;00

Mostly Aaron

Yeah.

01;01;05;13 – 01;01;06;05

Mostly Jon

They’re restful.

01;01;06;17 – 01;01;26;22

Mostly Aaron

Yeah, exactly. And so to me, the the start my favorite stones, the ones you make for yourself, the ones that are going to test you. Yeah. You know, like, I’m like I’m an intentionally putting this in my life. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m going to be friends with John that.

01;01;27;21 – 01;01;28;11

Mostly Jon

Caught me off guard.

01;01;30;02 – 01;01;52;03

Mostly Aaron

Yes, it is. So I know this is going to have consequence, right? Yeah, positive consequence. But it’ll be consequence as as we go on that journey, though, there has to be some high fives along the way. Yeah. So, hey, great job. You hit this benchmark. Those kind of things. Plan vacations with your family, plan outings with your friends.

01;01;52;18 – 01;01;58;27

Mostly Aaron

It’ll make that week so much more intentional. When you got to Saturday, you know you’re going on a fishing trip or whatever.

01;01;58;27 – 01;02;20;15

Mostly Jon

And if you’re alone, plan something that you enjoy that, especially if it can put you in connection with someone else. Yeah, right. I got someone move recently and they’re like, I don’t know, friendship never moved them alone and they’re just like, Go. And they’re not going anywhere in there I can’t find. It’s impossible, my friends, When have you left your house?

01;02;21;09 – 01;02;43;28

Mostly Jon

Like, have, you know. Okay, like to your point, if you’re going through that thing, it’s like, well, what do you love doing? I love bingo or checkers or pottery, whatever. Yeah. Find a group that does that and just build up the courage to reward yourself, to go make pottery. You may not meet anyone to start building that relationship if you’re alone, but you at least get to make a piece of pottery.

01;02;43;28 – 01;03;09;13

Mostly Jon

Love. That’s your passion, right? And if you keep showing up, you’re going to start building relationships in that place. And I love what you’re saying about you can’t just go on forever. It’s like, are you busy for the sake of busyness? Are you busy for the sake of engaging in value added efforts? Right? I saw this post on Facebook and it was like calling people out.

01;03;09;13 – 01;03;35;14

Mostly Jon

It’s like, Hey, can we stop wearing busyness and burn out as badges of honor? It’s hurting people, right? And it is it’s it’s not healthy. And it’s like, well, I’m somebody like you and I both are very industrious. We spend a lot of time doing a lot of things, but some of those tasks. Right. And we will go into this now, maybe later, but it’s like you can rest while doing something if you’re switching the venue up enough, right?

01;03;35;14 – 01;03;53;11

Mostly Jon

But if you work on a computer all day, you can it can be restful and life giving to do leather work, your woodworking or whatever. So it’s like you can that that’s one aspect. But the other thing too is like there’s no pride or honor or fun in putting in 12 hour days for nothing, you know, 15 hour days.

01;03;53;12 – 01;04;05;08

Mostly Jon

It cares for nothing. Look, no one cares. You will die. No one will remember it. It’s it’s not a badge of honor. The fruit of the tree. Right? What you produce is the badge of value.

01;04;05;11 – 01;04;05;21

Mostly Aaron

Yes.

01;04;05;24 – 01;04;08;05

Mostly Jon

You know, not the effort that’s put into it. Right.

01;04;08;05 – 01;04;34;17

Mostly Aaron

Because this to me, when you say they’re busy, it’s like. It’s like bragging. You’re in the store. Yeah, I’m here. Yeah. Yeah. I thought the goal was to get through this. Yeah, right. So, like, I would rather hear. Actually, I’ve been working on this project. Greg said I’m writing this book or whatever it is, or just getting through a work week and I’m trying to hit single or something like, Yeah, I’m busy doing this, but I’m, I think I’m about there.

01;04;34;18 – 01;04;55;13

Mostly Aaron

I had these are the things I’ve accomplished along the way and this is what I’m going to do just to reward myself. That’s a way more fun to talk about. Whatever. Yeah, it’s like, don’t brag about I’m in the storm. It’s like, Hey, I want to I want to brag about what the storm is making me become. How what’s what’s happening as I walk through this.

01;04;55;13 – 01;04;59;28

Mostly Aaron

Who, who, what I’m. What I’m finding out about myself. Yep. Walking through this.

01;05;00;06 – 01;05;17;08

Mostly Jon

In a fun, tongue in cheek analogy, right? Is you and I don’t focus on the time we put into creating this podcast. We know that and we know you don’t care. I don’t like we care because we’re spending the time. But like that is not a central thought and either or what we’re focusing on is the value of the conversation.

01;05;17;19 – 01;05;23;20

Mostly Jon

How it’s making us better, and the really cool conversations it’s sparking with people who listen to it.

01;05;23;20 – 01;05;24;05

Mostly Aaron

Absolutely.

01;05;24;09 – 01;05;33;08

Mostly Jon

You know, they don’t care how much work we put into it. They care about with the conversation. They’re not just like you and me. Yeah. And that is really smart, profitable.

01;05;33;10 – 01;05;34;26

Mostly Aaron

They have no goodwill. So where’s my thought?

01;05;35;07 – 01;05;39;08

Mostly Jon

Should I have listened to you know, it’s 100%. Yeah.

01;05;39;15 – 01;06;06;21

Mostly Aaron

Yeah. So let’s instead of like, I want to temper that walking through the storm, it it’s not just like us being tough. It’s, it’s more it’s sort of like this rhythm of life, right? There are storms and then there’s the calm. What happens This storm and that calm can feel as good as you understood how bad the storm was and then what you didn’t what you found out about yourself.

01;06;06;21 – 01;06;28;09

Mostly Aaron

Now, what are you going to do about what you learned to the storm? Well, let’s let’s have a different mentality about it. Like if there’s something that is very challenging to do, but you need to do it, just just go just to really realize this is going to be hard. But I know that it’s going to change me in some way.

01;06;28;19 – 01;06;52;21

Mostly Jon

And I think that brings us to a really good final preparation for rain. Make a plan or a system you can follow for when adversity strikes me, right? Yes. The whole you revert to your baseline, your most basic level of training and confidence. Well, how do you improve that? You have a plan and you practice it, you make it happen.

01;06;53;05 – 01;07;10;16

Mostly Jon

But like if you go into negotiations, have no goal. It’s just like I just want it cheap, less. I just want cheaper, right? Never clean your clock. If you put some preparation in like kind of the steps you want to carry through what your left and right limits that you’ve defined for yourself are like, I won’t go below this or above that, or I’ll walk whatever.

01;07;10;16 – 01;07;29;03

Mostly Jon

You’re so much better equipped. So it’s kind of the same. Like the next time I just get hit by something and I’m flustered, I don’t know what to do. And I’m sitting there the second I connect the dots that I’m in that circumstance, I’m going to go for a walk right this second. I know I’m overwhelmed. The second I make the realization this can take time, I’m going to go for a walk.

01;07;29;22 – 01;07;34;28

Mostly Aaron

Really, But really say and I guess the third second, the three second rule.

01;07;34;28 – 01;07;43;03

Mostly Jon

Yeah, that. What what would you say? I think what he said was if you’re going to respondent 2 seconds, what would you say if you waited till a third.

01;07;43;03 – 01;07;46;16

Mostly Aaron

So Exactly. And it was a great baseline for Yeah, that’s a check.

01;07;47;29 – 01;08;05;06

Mostly Jon

I’m angry. I’m going to give myself an extra few seconds. Am I responding from emotion or for the best interest of the circumstances and that I’m involved in? Yes, what a brilliant way to look at it. Right. Because it’s like I’m overwhelmed. The world’s following around me. It’s ending. I’m going to go for a walk outside. You know, it’s probably not.

01;08;05;19 – 01;08;22;25

Mostly Jon

But even it feels like I’m just going to go for a walk. And if I get back, I’m still spiraling my plans to eat something, even if I’m sick to my stomach, even if it’s an ice cream sundae, if I can get it in my body, I’ll get it in my body. Right. And it’s like maybe that’s basically to build that plan, you know, like I’m going to go for that long.

01;08;23;06 – 01;08;39;29

Mostly Jon

And then when I get back from that walk, I’m going to write down the problem, you know, whatever that could be. If you set up just one or two steps to help engage with it, that can change how you engage with it in the future. Maybe have to change your plan for something that works better. At least you’re cooking something you know you can do.

01;08;39;29 – 01;08;56;19

Mostly Jon

It’s like, how much more how much better do you feel if it’s like you’re lost, you’re overwhelmed, you have nothing to eat, you have no idea what to do next. And now you’re lost and you’re over on the you know, the next step is to go for a walk. Completely unrelated, but gives you agency, it gives you ownership.

01;08;56;19 – 01;08;58;15

Mostly Jon

It gives you the ability to begin taking control.

01;08;58;15 – 01;09;23;02

Mostly Aaron

Absolutely. That’s that is great, John, because then you get used to you get used to how strong feels in kind of go, oh, okay, okay. This is familiar to me. I know what difficulty feels like. I need to start okay, now. And you start checking the light, the dashboard. My doing okay now. Okay, here’s my contingencies. Here’s what happens when I start running out of breath.

01;09;24;04 – 01;09;31;24

Mostly Jon

But temporary here. All right. I may need some temperance or some added context to help me out. Everyone to go now.

01;09;33;00 – 01;09;34;09

Mostly Aaron

Well, out of bounds. John’s. Yeah.

01;09;34;10 – 01;09;53;24

Mostly Jon

Stop now. Please stop. What happens when the worst happens, Right? So, like, I spent. I don’t dwell on this does not concern me, but I spend some time intentionally on a rhythmic basis that I’ve set up for myself, getting my mind up for what if the worst possible thing that I could imagine happens to me happened, right? That’s not me going.

01;09;54;12 – 01;09;58;07

Mostly Jon

That’s not me becoming crippled. Right? Those would be bad things going to have an idea of like, how do.

01;09;58;24 – 01;09;59;09

Mostly Aaron

You manage.

01;09;59;15 – 01;10;03;05

Mostly Jon

Things? But what do you Yeah, what do you value most? So for me, it’s like my wife and children.

01;10;03;05 – 01;10;03;16

Mostly Aaron

Yes.

01;10;03;25 – 01;10;27;05

Mostly Jon

So like what? And I don’t like I said, I don’t want say I don’t do it often, but it’s good to just put those what are my first steps? If everything is destroyed, what would I do if an officer showed up at the door and is like, I have terrible news for you? Everyone was just lost in a car crash, you know, or get that call or something.

01;10;27;05 – 01;10;52;20

Mostly Jon

What am I going to do? I’m not going to do I’m not going to be capable of doing anything industrious. So the plan I’ve created, if, God forbid, something like that should ever happen to me, is I’m going to just force myself to start dialing whoever is geographically closest to me because I, I know I won’t be able to trust myself in that circumstance because I’m going to be completely bereft in shock.

01;10;52;22 – 01;10;54;24

Mostly Aaron

You’ll have no muscle in by somebody else.

01;10;54;29 – 01;11;12;23

Mostly Jon

And by continuing to make that be my first step, I’m conditioned myself to hopefully, if God forbid, that would happen, I just do it without thinking right. And then in the second, the rest of the plan is just to not break protocol. And what do I mean by that? If that were to happen, I’d call somebody immediately. My father, my friend, my whoever.

01;11;14;17 – 01;11;36;17

Mostly Jon

I just call him back. This is what just happened. Click that, you know, That’s all I could probably say, right? Everyone’s going to click like, you know, and then I would do my best to still work out to whatever my morning, my daily rhythm is. I just try to keep moving right in because that’s all you can do.

01;11;36;17 – 01;12;00;17

Mostly Jon

Because I like, I’d have to tend the animals that have to do these other things. So my plan, if something, God forbid, like that would happen, is you’re right down the street, me a call, this is what happen. And then I would, to the best of my ability, continue following the routine of what my normal life is. That’s not affected by that loss because I know I’m going to just be a zombie and broken, right.

01;12;00;23 – 01;12;26;18

Mostly Jon

Because the worst thing just happened and it’s going to take time to recover through that. But I also know that the only way to even hope of recovering on any level is by not stopping and drowning in a bottle or killing myself or ceasing, but by continuing forward in whatever capacity is possible. You should kind of, you know, it’s kind of dark, but like if you just set up that, it’s like, okay, I know it’s going to break me.

01;12;26;18 – 01;12;45;21

Mostly Jon

I know it’s going to be shocking, but at least I have the the craziest idea of how not to just die on the spot or cease living. Yeah. You know, and and you’d have to I guess you’d have to think, too. Like, if that happened, you would have cause to continue living because, like, what would your spouse or kids want?

01;12;45;22 – 01;13;03;23

Mostly Jon

They’d want you to keep going, you know? So it’s a little bit dark, but it’s like if it if you create that plan to respond to whatever it is, whether it’s just going for the walk, right, I’m going to call and just start walking. Yeah, right. And just not that that’s my plan. That’s maybe that’s all the plan is, right?

01;13;03;23 – 01;13;18;16

Mostly Jon

Initially, at least girds you with something that keeps some level of agency as the realization of the depths of the anguish begins to sink in. And it also gets you away from potential more dangerous, isolated positions.

01;13;18;25 – 01;13;25;23

Mostly Aaron

No, no. Let’s talk about having a flat tire. Yes, well, it really does. She gets the perspective, right? You know.

01;13;26;02 – 01;13;29;24

Mostly Jon

It does. And it’s all relative.

01;13;29;24 – 01;13;51;04

Mostly Aaron

So we have this, though, that does allow you to think, okay, what would I have to do in a situation where I had seen most conditioned to react in a positive manner? That is that is a preparation mindset because you absolutely know this is going to be crushing. What will you do, right?

01;13;51;04 – 01;13;55;21

Mostly Jon

Oh, infinity. Yeah, you’re gone. Everything’s okay. Like everything’s different now.

01;13;56;01 – 01;14;20;14

Mostly Aaron

But hey, I have a and then and the other satisfaction my 15 year old is learning how to drive and some right away thinking about things that go wrong. Yeah, that’s perspective. You know But rather than, you know, seed her with all these this is going to happen this I’m being negative rather I just want to prepare her for the night before she gets on to change a tire.

01;14;20;14 – 01;14;45;16

Mostly Aaron

Right? Yeah. So you got a date right now? She’s going to understand. I’ll tell her that. Expect that other people around her. Imagine this. But some people on the road don’t know how to drive very well, right? I assume that’s going to happen. You know, I don’t want to I don’t get mad about. It just know that, you know, I actually just assume people are bad drivers out there and it’s safer that when they when they when they cut me off.

01;14;46;27 – 01;14;48;03

Mostly Jon

And oftentimes we are this.

01;14;48;03 – 01;14;52;08

Mostly Aaron

Better than that guy. Right? Or it’s a friend like, oh.

01;14;53;04 – 01;14;58;02

Mostly Jon

Yeah, Oh, that was John. I just well, he did cut me off.

01;14;58;02 – 01;15;13;03

Mostly Aaron

So that’s, that’s. But to me, preparing your mind for difficulty, that will come back to me as a person that’s just more that’s I’m just used to it like you get used to. This is what this is what difficulty feels like. This is how we respond to it.

01;15;13;07 – 01;15;30;10

Mostly Jon

Well, and to that to make a good boundary on what I shared. There’s no value to go any further than I just explained in this conversation. Right? Like, okay, I go for walk in a call and ability or my dad or whoever, whoever’s close to whoever will show up and I’m going to walk, right? All right. That’s what I’ll do.

01;15;30;20 – 01;15;47;06

Mostly Jon

There’s no value in continuing to dwell on that worst case scenario. There’s no value in starting to fantasize about further steps, Right? That’s that’s where it gets really crazy and unhealthy. But just like that initial, I’m not going to go inside and drink or grab a gun. Right. Right. I’m going to go for a walk and call. Somebody cares.

01;15;48;18 – 01;16;06;11

Mostly Jon

And that’s the end of it. And the other thing, too, context like you did with the tire, it’s like if you if you take the courage to do basic exercise, how much easier is it now to tackle that? Okay, my daughter’s going to drive. I want her to know how to tire. This is so much better. This is so.

01;16;06;11 – 01;16;09;18

Mostly Jon

If it was painful to think about, then these other things.

01;16;09;20 – 01;16;31;14

Mostly Aaron

Break this family that we all do. And this is like working out or work stuff, education or anything. Yeah. Is it? Why am I changing a tire when I don’t need to change tire, correct? Well, because it’s going to happen. Yes. I just you got to you got to understand that this training is a gift. It is. The storm comes.

01;16;31;26 – 01;16;32;26

Mostly Aaron

You can be like, I got this.

01;16;32;26 – 01;16;36;04

Mostly Jon

Saving that thousand dollars or whatever is a gift from the tires.

01;16;37;01 – 01;16;37;08

Mostly Aaron

Or your.

01;16;37;08 – 01;16;38;25

Mostly Jon

Toilet needs fixed or whatever you can’t.

01;16;38;25 – 01;16;54;23

Mostly Aaron

Fix. You know how much of a box I don’t like in high school because my dad would do that. It didn’t happen to my car. I was a friends. That’s you’re the hero for today. So the preparation, changing the tire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it’s like it’s not always the storm. You get somebody else’s that you’re preparing for that, is it?

01;16;55;02 – 01;16;56;05

Mostly Aaron

That’s life worth living.

01;16;56;05 – 01;16;57;23

Mostly Jon

Well, and that’s back to the community piece, right?

01;16;57;23 – 01;16;58;01

Mostly Aaron

Right.

01;16;59;10 – 01;17;06;09

Mostly Jon

When you’re rocking community and you’re, you’re trying to build all that. Yeah. Well, you’re equipping yourself where you may never need for yourself.

01;17;06;17 – 01;17;06;29

Mostly Aaron

Right?

01;17;07;08 – 01;17;19;14

Mostly Jon

But what happens if what happens if your buddy gets notification of a divorce? Yeah, right. In your prepared to go for a anything. It’s like, hey brother, go for walking away. Right. They just got crushed. It’s not, you know.

01;17;20;10 – 01;17;22;13

Mostly Aaron

Borrow my contingency plan, borrow mine.

01;17;22;18 – 01;17;41;21

Mostly Jon

Get, borrow what I thought of and. We’ll get through this together. And that’s probably the last thought I have I’d like to to leave with is this is not the lone wolf thing. This is not the Lone Bison. Those guys die when the adversity strikes. If you’re a lone, get as quickly as you can to build a community, Right.

01;17;41;26 – 01;18;01;05

Mostly Jon

Keep surrounding yourself with those who do care. Because if you really think and look for it, there’s a good chance that someone does care that you can begin fostering that relationship with it, investing in it, building equity. And because, like you said, your body may not know how to change that tire, but if you do, you just took a tragedy for them that could keep them on the side of the road for hours.

01;18;01;16 – 01;18;13;16

Mostly Jon

And you made it a hiccup that took 15 minutes because you’re looking out for each other. And that’s where the value of and beauty of life comes in. Those with whom you surround and share life with, you know?

01;18;13;16 – 01;18;34;28

Mostly Aaron

Absolutely. I want let’s all think about how we could be bison and how we could be the type of person that prepares and is ready for and will instinctually walk through the storm together and then avoid that mentality and understand when it’s happening, even in the storm and acting like a Joe right now. Am I?

01;18;35;10 – 01;18;37;25

Mostly Jon

It’s hanging out. What would a visit to the.

01;18;37;25 – 01;18;39;19

Mostly Aaron

Bison for the bison do?

01;18;40;00 – 01;18;41;00

Mostly Jon

Let’s make bracelets.

01;18;41;00 – 01;19;09;11

Mostly Aaron

Yes, I know a leather guy. Yeah. So I. I think John got a great discussion. Yeah. Be enjoy that. The wild freedom that comes from being a bison. But the intentionality or rather being domesticated, predictable cow that does not really push back on that storm. Yeah.

01;19;09;15 – 01;19;11;08

Mostly Jon

Embrace life and live it fully, right?

01;19;11;12 – 01;19;11;29

Mostly Aaron

Absolutely.