EXPLORING THE TOOLS THAT UNLEASH HUMAN POTENTIAL
Episode 7 of The Grit Theory.
Today we get to sit down with Lindsey Mayo and discuss the greater effects of these challenges on the Mayo home. Why she decided to pick up the challenge when Jon failed, and how she engages with the unending trials and difficulties that life presents all while raising 4 wild boys (Also the 100 Day Challenge as discussed in episode 4 is FINISHED!).
Highlights include:
Leading with love
** A NOTE FROM JON:
“When I heard about an old man who introduced the woman he was with as, “the woman who walks besides me,” that statement had no trace of possessiveness or ownership in it; she wasn’t “his” anything. I finally understood the quote “love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Lindsey, thank you for Co-Journeying through this wild adventure we call life.
-Jon
Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!
Also, check out Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be waymakers HERE.
Do you want to learn more? Check out:
The Book: Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be WayMakers.
The Podcast: “Be Relentless Podcast”
The Fuel: Sisu Stamina, Performance Evolved
Linktree: Here.
00;00;00;01 – 00;00;09;21
Aaron
Well, good morning, everybody. Welcome to our seventh episode of The Grip Theory. I am here joined with and I’m joined by John Mayo. Hello.
00;00;09;21 – 00;00;10;02
Jon
Good morning.
00;00;10;07 – 00;00;20;25
Aaron
And our special guest today is none other than the magnanimous, the infinitely patient and of course, pretty Lindsey Mayo grandmother.
00;00;21;27 – 00;00;23;10
Jon
She loves that. Yeah.
00;00;23;23 – 00;00;25;13
Aaron
We’re so glad you’re here today, Lindsay.
00;00;25;20 – 00;00;26;15
Lindsey Mayo
Thank you for having me.
00;00;26;29 – 00;00;27;28
Aaron
How we feeling?
00;00;28;16 – 00;00;35;06
Lindsey Mayo
I’m excited and nervous as you both are looking at me like you’re going to fire some questions away that I’m not willing to answer or ready to answer.
00;00;35;17 – 00;00;50;18
Aaron
Well, I just love that this is this is going to be my treat today, because if you if we do get you all, you know, crazy, I leave John. Yeah, it’s so he’s going to be cautious. I think he’ll be fine. Don’t worry about that.
00;00;50;23 – 00;00;54;11
Jon
I’ll be working outside after this.
00;00;54;22 – 00;01;12;29
Aaron
This is actually this episode, I think is going to be a real treat for everybody. It’s going to be encouraging for everybody here at the table and then everyone listening because we’re going to be talking about what happens when friendship happens, when friendship rises to the occasion. And this is kind of what we’re going to be talking about today.
00;01;13;09 – 00;01;36;22
Aaron
And I want that. Additionally, it’s in the context of marriage, which in my opinion, is the highest form of friendship in this life that we can we can ever hope to see. And when it’s done right, what a beautiful friendship can be inside of a marriage. So we’re going to talk about this kind of part two to our winner.
00;01;36;22 – 00;01;38;04
Aaron
555 episode.
00;01;38;18 – 00;01;42;12
Jon
Correct. So was that five? I think. Okay. I think was five.
00;01;42;14 – 00;01;46;12
Aaron
Okay, we’ll go with five. And so so if you hadn’t heard that it was.
00;01;46;12 – 00;01;46;21
Lindsey Mayo
Four.
00;01;47;02 – 00;01;49;29
Aaron
Before it. So glad it’ll be all right.
00;01;50;16 – 00;01;54;25
Jon
That’s okay. The dynamic is already here, so we’re like.
00;01;54;29 – 00;02;01;17
Aaron
We’re not going to be able to get away with this, like, this sort of loose facts or anything. And I was like, Nope.
00;02;02;00 – 00;02;04;13
Jon
It was more like forever.
00;02;04;17 – 00;02;10;17
Aaron
Check out four. And so you haven’t heard four. That would give you context for the winner.
00;02;10;17 – 00;02;11;09
Jon
55.
00;02;11;09 – 00;02;17;27
Aaron
Winner 55. Yeah. Okay. So I’m going to do this a little bit.
00;02;18;13 – 00;02;22;02
Jon
Yeah. You want to set it up and then maybe I’ll. I’ll a bit of context on that.
00;02;22;09 – 00;02;28;04
Aaron
Yeah, I want to. And I’m going to hand. Yeah, I, I didn’t live the story. Observed it. Yeah. So I want to.
00;02;28;07 – 00;02;29;09
Jon
So what did you observe?
00;02;30;16 – 00;02;50;01
Aaron
I, you know, first of all, just to back up, like when, when you just kind of willy nilly through air. And I think I’ll do a challenge when John says challenge doesn’t mean like, am I going to, you know, I’m going to limit my sugar intake or, you know, I’m going to do an extra push up or something.
00;02;50;01 – 00;03;11;28
Aaron
It’s it’s going to be something significant. And when you told me, you know, we just got off doing focus for 21 days and what, you weren’t a runner before anyway, really? You know. Yes. I’m running in your history years ago. Yes. But you’re like, yeah, I’m a run and you haven’t been running. Really? And you said 100 to 100 days in a row.
00;03;11;28 – 00;03;14;15
Aaron
And then I’m going to add lifting times.
00;03;14;28 – 00;03;15;24
Jon
To those men’s day.
00;03;16;03 – 00;03;27;06
Aaron
And I was I was like, John, 100 days. Are you in 21 and more than quadruple it. And that’s kind of how that conversation went. I was like, okay.
00;03;27;20 – 00;03;32;12
Jon
So as we’re running actually, I think we talked about this as we’re finishing up the 21 day challenge.
00;03;32;17 – 00;03;34;06
Aaron
That may have been when it was okay.
00;03;34;10 – 00;03;44;04
Jon
Yeah, right after Christmas. I think we’re going to start 100. Yeah, yeah. Because we also kicked that 100 days off with 21 days for drinking. Right. Which was quite an idea. Yeah.
00;03;44;13 – 00;04;11;29
Aaron
So it’s like all these, these challenges we know they’re hand-in-glove with all the other decisions we’ve got. So that’s how we like making them. We’re kind of breaking our minds because there’s so many difficulties you’re going to hit in life. And so if you train yourself to not say no to things or are also also open the idea that you can do more than you are doing right now.
00;04;12;18 – 00;04;28;02
Aaron
So you did that. You decided do it. Yes. Okay. So that’s what I observe. So I’m going to stop there. Okay. Okay. So why don’t you tell me? Yeah, it went from there. And I know either one or 55. Yes. I don’t want to be assured to try.
00;04;28;19 – 00;04;48;28
Jon
To build on the when or if it’s successful. After nearly 100 days. Consistency. The goal from the onset was consistency. Right. What happens if I’m just one routinely for a hundred days? We’ll become kind of looking back a lot, right? We in the winter of 55, we discuss about how often injury forced me to change the plan in pursuit of the goal.
00;04;49;09 – 00;05;21;18
Jon
Right. The goal inconsistency, the injury, meaning I kind continue running without risk of tearing both my Achilles tendons. So I had addressed right so we went into great depth there adjusted continue you know amped up my wake up time way earlier continued lifting and did a few other things to meet the same requirements of discipline. I went and it’s been awesome because secret series for during this challenge right that’s pretty cool and I feel like a different person kept building how I see the world.
00;05;21;18 – 00;05;51;22
Jon
So on those and it’s been wonderful and I’m already thinking through what the next challenges are going to be and what I want to gain from them. And I think one of the greatest goals was when you set a target being okay, adjusting the tactics or strategy to accomplish and state if necessary. Right? Because I started to lose sight of my goal and the challenge when I was running into physical limitations and we adjusted from that.
00;05;51;22 – 00;06;16;13
Jon
So the the thing though, outside of the personal benefits and in the joy of what’s occurred with all that, I think the thing that has affected me the most and is the cruelest thing and frankly like hit me on every level being was I read the synopsis of the under 55, which we read in the episode two months before I shared with anyone else.
00;06;17;19 – 00;06;41;03
Jon
Am I stupid to consider letting anyone know I wrote this, right? Yeah. And she sat behind me at my desk and I read it and she was stretching and she kept asking and she was like, okay, yeah, it’s good. We kind of talked about this, but what was really cool and the reason that I’m so thrilled to have her with us today is because she’s the the quiet hero in the background.
00;06;41;08 – 00;07;01;25
Jon
If that is ever moving and is a force to be reckoned with. And the reason our force and the reason our house is held together and the reason that we that huge foundational piece and how we practice marriage and she does these incredible things without any fanfare, without any request resolved and one such thing is she said, okay, she went downstairs.
00;07;02;05 – 00;07;15;16
Jon
I’m like, okay, I start working again. 45 minutes later, she changed and done. The first 45 five ks that she would do to ensure that the running portion of the challenge 15 despite my inability.
00;07;16;18 – 00;07;29;24
Aaron
And Lindsey didn’t have a vote on the front, I’m curiously like, how did that go? And when he told you I’m a 208 challenge before it got started, we just kind of like, Roll your eyes on him, goes down again or.
00;07;30;03 – 00;07;53;07
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah, basically, yeah. So you’re just kind of roll with it when he goes, We’re going to go do this. You look at him go, How much money is this going to cost us? And then you say, okay, what’s the time commitment and can we physically do it right? And then you go, okay, cool. It’s like, Wait. And then he was running saying, Get out of the military.
00;07;53;20 – 00;08;15;02
Lindsey Mayo
He called me up like, we’ve not talked for days. And he goes, I’ve been thinking this, but I’m not sure. Maybe we need to pursue something different. And I go, What? What happens if you leave? He’s like, Was that a choice? I was like, Yeah, so we’ll figure it out, huh? He’s like, Wait, you think it’s okay for me to get out of the military?
00;08;15;06 – 00;08;23;09
Lindsey Mayo
I was like, Absolutely. Is it? I will support you in anything that you want to do? Yeah, I have always done that. I’ve always held true to that. I mean.
00;08;24;03 – 00;08;43;22
Jon
And a real quick piece of context, that is the thing that’s really important from the military community is unless you’re on the rocks, like heavily on the rocks and like your partner is saying, like you need to get out or I’m going, which that does happen. Most people are like, You are getting out or you get out. It’s scary.
00;08;44;05 – 00;08;59;19
Jon
Yeah, How Where’s our home? How are we going to eat right? Like the military people do an alternative for the most part, and going through the deal to figure out how are we going to be okay on the other side. Yeah, it’s a scary thing. So when you have brand new twins.
00;09;00;05 – 00;09;01;18
Lindsey Mayo
And he was at the height of his career.
00;09;01;27 – 00;09;04;23
Jon
Well, I was good. And the.
00;09;04;25 – 00;09;05;11
Aaron
Reason.
00;09;05;15 – 00;09;05;25
Jon
He was.
00;09;05;25 – 00;09;06;06
Lindsey Mayo
Doing.
00;09;06;06 – 00;09;06;24
Aaron
Well, yeah.
00;09;06;24 – 00;09;07;06
Lindsey Mayo
He’s doing.
00;09;07;06 – 00;09;32;00
Jon
Very well. I was positioned to continue climbing very well. And so so to say, hey, let’s drop into complete uncertainty with no idea what to do with any twins and a bunch of kids and having no idea what the next steps are. That’s where it’s so incredible to hear that. Okay, let’s figure it out. Explain it, because it’s not like echo climbing Mount Everest.
00;09;32;25 – 00;09;34;16
Jon
We don’t know where we live, but we’ll figure it out.
00;09;34;26 – 00;09;55;25
Aaron
So you guys, it seems to me and this is part of like when you’re doing a challenge and we’ve talked about this before, that don’t assume that whatever challenge you’re having is a solo thing. The people around you who love you are absolutely to be a part of it, whether they had a vote or not. So why not just have the conversation as it’s ultimately going to happen?
00;09;56;07 – 00;10;10;03
Aaron
Is this better? If you could be included in it? So you guys actually did talk and and you’re just you know, sometimes you just kind of accept each other for what we are and also talk through it so you understand it. So you’ve had a history of this?
00;10;10;08 – 00;10;11;09
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah, very much so.
00;10;12;04 – 00;10;37;23
Aaron
And yeah, it’s fun and it’s so I wanted to say to like this is radio podcast, it’s like you can’t see anything. But Lindsey is smaller in stature, right? Many of our listeners know who you are and, and love you And she, she’s if you wouldn’t assume like she’s like this really strong willed, tough person. I mean, you have bad hair.
00;10;37;23 – 00;10;39;08
Aaron
I mean, there’s that little warning.
00;10;39;16 – 00;10;43;20
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah I I’m a slit shorter and £100 lighter than Yes.
00;10;43;24 – 00;11;12;06
Aaron
Yes yeah so you know, you could probably just sink into that personality. And I guess I’m just a small little girl, that kind of thing. But you but you if you believe in yourself, you have a strong confidence, right. And chance like you Don’t me. And so you’re not you’re not like you’re not unaware of what it is to decide to do things that are difficult or or decide to make your way happen.
00;11;12;20 – 00;11;19;03
Lindsey Mayo
Right? Yeah. I was pretty much done that my entire life. Yeah. So are you always been small?
00;11;19;03 – 00;11;21;04
Aaron
Where are you in the birth order? I’m just curious. I’m a.
00;11;21;04 – 00;11;21;26
Lindsey Mayo
Middle child.
00;11;22;02 – 00;11;24;11
Aaron
Oh, okay. All right. So not.
00;11;24;11 – 00;11;24;27
Lindsey Mayo
Your typical.
00;11;24;27 – 00;11;51;29
Aaron
Middle. As I say. You have a little bit or none of them at all. Isn’t that, like, kind of a pleaser? And it’s very much set up. Yeah. You still have that? Yeah. So here we are, John. This is this is a great opportunity inside of a marriage that you’ve you came to failure and you couldn’t run anymore because I did 55 and your thought was, okay, just changes.
00;11;52;02 – 00;12;10;15
Aaron
I’m alone in this sense on some level, like no one’s really paying attention to kind of fix or to get things to the next level. This is my decision. I’m going to own it. But you didn’t know in the background that Lindsey had decided, all right, one day change is going to happen. You know, 35 years is just a reroute.
00;12;11;13 – 00;12;14;16
Aaron
And so what did you pick up there, Lindsey? Kind of what was your thinking there?
00;12;15;01 – 00;12;38;13
Lindsey Mayo
So I was stretching. I mean, just on a really intense workout while he was reading, you know, 55. And I think the thing that hit me the most was the part where he says that he is mortal and I mean, like, that’s one of those things where we’re all mortal, but we don’t think about that a lot. We don’t really understand that our bodies fail us day in and day out.
00;12;38;27 – 00;13;06;02
Lindsey Mayo
People develop cancer, they break bones. I mean, your children can fall off of something and you’re going to be here and it happens day in and day out. And we genuinely don’t grasp that concept that we are mortal beings, that our next breath is not guaranteed, Our next day is not guaranteed. And for me to hear that, it was like, Wow, I’m not mortal, but I am mortal.
00;13;06;02 – 00;13;26;19
Lindsey Mayo
But at the same time it was me thinking and looking at him going, I know how much this challenge meant to him. I know what this hundred days was because he’s been doing the 21 days challenge and it for him, it’s not just the physical. The physical is where he gets to escape. And in his mind he thinks through things.
00;13;27;02 – 00;13;48;07
Lindsey Mayo
And that’s what running was for me. Any time our marriage has gotten really difficult, he’ll come home and I’ll say, Kids are in bed. I’m going to run and I will all go and I’ll run a mile if that’s what it is or whatever. And so I went and I here I will, I can run outside, but I have four small humans.
00;13;48;07 – 00;14;08;25
Lindsey Mayo
So I’ve been running on the treadmill for 45 days, just staring at a well. At first it was in the basement, which was really rough, and then we moved it upstairs. So that’s really helpful. I kind of get some of the wind up, but because of the placement where I’m staring at a wall and running on the treadmill, it takes a whole separate type of discipline in general.
00;14;09;06 – 00;14;16;15
Lindsey Mayo
But my perspective was I want to be able to pick up where he is not able to continue.
00;14;16;23 – 00;14;16;27
Jon
It.
00;14;17;03 – 00;14;36;23
Lindsey Mayo
And to show him that it’s not just him who does something. The challenge is like you’re saying, this isn’t so low to prove that. Not even just prove to him, but to kind of walk alongside him and say, I’m your wife and I’ve got this for you, and kind of just can’t walk through that.
00;14;37;03 – 00;15;01;02
Aaron
So do you see this that just speaking to the ladies out there? I’m just I’m wondering because my wife has told me this, too, There’s there’s a kind of a heart of a wife, and she wants to know, like, where are those gaps that her husband has because she really wants to help. But guys are are so stinkin proud of the time.
00;15;01;12 – 00;15;07;04
Aaron
We’d rather just hide it or deal with that ourselves. Or they’re not aware or they’re not aware. Yeah. Yeah.
00;15;07;11 – 00;15;31;25
Lindsey Mayo
And that’s communication is really a big thing. And I do I enjoy running. I really love running. I’m not necessarily the fastest or the best at it, but I will go distance. I love signing up for like 500 runs and things like that. Actually, after our podcast, I plan on going to run anywhere between 6 to 12 miles today and we’ll see how I’m.
00;15;32;23 – 00;15;33;01
Aaron
Not.
00;15;33;01 – 00;15;33;19
Jon
On the treadmill.
00;15;33;19 – 00;15;49;26
Lindsey Mayo
No, not on the treadmill. But I, I think if you don’t allow your partner in to the areas that you’re struggling, it could be their strengths. And you will never know that if you don’t invite them in.
00;15;50;13 – 00;16;01;05
Aaron
That is such a great that’s a great statement right there that you’ll never know where the strengths of the partner may arise out of just being humble about.
00;16;01;29 – 00;16;02;15
Jon
Whether.
00;16;02;20 – 00;16;21;21
Aaron
The person fell really or has failure, whether it be secret or blatant. I’ve you know, I’ve noticed, too, oftentimes a failure as a husband is more blatant than we realize. We just we just need to have the courage to call it out. And it’s amazing how in a marriage that could be a real opportunity.
00;16;22;00 – 00;16;22;09
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah.
00;16;22;25 – 00;16;25;08
Aaron
So when she’s a bit.
00;16;25;08 – 00;16;27;08
Jon
Angry with me, too, leading up to that.
00;16;27;08 – 00;16;28;00
Lindsey Mayo
Day.
00;16;28;00 – 00;16;48;07
Jon
Because she’s like, Why are you doing this? I want to take you from a separate, you know, So like, it was evident, it was part of it. And I don’t think I’m aware of how much these things. I think only affects me, affects my family and affects my my bride and my friends and everything else. Like, it’s hard to say, oh, I’m waking up at 430 and working out who’s it touching?
00;16;48;07 – 00;16;52;09
Jon
It was sweet, you know, but it has effects. And when you’re.
00;16;52;09 – 00;16;52;19
Aaron
Limping.
00;16;52;19 – 00;17;19;25
Jon
Across the room, of course your wife is gone. That part kind of got her. Yeah, that’s it. It’s interesting that to your point, though, Aaron and for you started when you’re looking at if you don’t know your feelings. Those may be my strengths or I may have the strength to cover that. Right. Or we may find a solution that mitigates that altogether, because I think that’s true in any partnership.
00;17;19;25 – 00;17;50;24
Jon
But the initial seeds of destruction and diminishing of a relationship or partnership that has a goal in mind, right, is assumptions and lack of communication. Right. If if you start if you put in some form of ability to call out assumptions and confirm or deny them good or bad and communicate it to states clearly, it’s so empowering. I mean, you and I just did that for one of the pursuits work in my cage.
00;17;50;24 – 00;18;09;05
Jon
We both want the same things and we see this relationship the same way. And guess what the assumptions were? Yes, but we confirmed they were. Yes. And the confirmation is what gives us the faith that if you attribute some turbulence or you hit a failure in a struggle, it’s like we want the same things. We just see a partner to get stronger.
00;18;09;17 – 00;18;24;14
Jon
And whether that is building a business or something like that, or whether it’s a marriage and raising children, you know, like having those touch points is so incredibly critical.
00;18;24;14 – 00;18;44;16
Aaron
It’s a beautiful thing if you allow that to happen. I notice marriage is the highest level of this, but even in our friendships, like if you go around and you think about who do you chosen to spend the most time as or who you most admire, there’s probably something in them that they’re strong that you’re not. And it’s fascinating to you and admirable to them.
00;18;44;22 – 00;19;09;21
Aaron
I do think that that is such a cool whatever it could be talent, it could be a mindset or how they think of things or process and you just want to kind of observe almost an inside of a marriage. We have this great ability to exercise for each other, those things that we’re good at. And so here you are.
00;19;09;23 – 00;19;24;08
Aaron
This, this decision that you like to run that same time, that was his thing. And now you’re going to be on his terms because he set the challenge up from something. You’ve adopted it. Yes. As your own saying Yeah.
00;19;24;13 – 00;19;51;29
Lindsey Mayo
And about I think it was day five, I slipped and fell on ice and I wrecked my lower back, hurt my leg skied that my entire elbow. And I hadn’t run yet. I could barely walk. I was absolutely miserable. And so I went and I did what I had to do. And then I came back home, picked up the boys and everything, and I had to shuffle it on the track.
00;19;51;29 – 00;19;56;01
Lindsey Mayo
Or 3.2 to 3.1 wasn’t enough.
00;19;56;19 – 00;20;03;27
Aaron
That’s the thing John did set out. It’s not a fight. It was a little bit more than a fight because that’s a I don’t know why you why did you do that?
00;20;04;08 – 00;20;06;25
Lindsey Mayo
So I ran to the church up the street. It was a landmark.
00;20;06;25 – 00;20;09;24
Jon
Well, mentally, though, because there was another one, there was a sign, a step.
00;20;10;21 – 00;20;19;28
Aaron
Yeah, I ran that. And that’s and I told him very early when we did the 21, it’s like this is actually where we’re supposed to turn around, John, you know, let’s go to there.
00;20;20;24 – 00;20;48;14
Jon
Well, anything you do in life and my belief is if you do something, give an extra present, whatever extra wrap. So it’s a5k. No, it’s it’s about initiative D, £10,000. You do at least £10,000. Right. That you would do as I did another one. Whatever the challenges, whatever life is, if you can finish it, that’s my goal. So now Lindsay has to deal with that mentality.
00;20;48;14 – 00;20;48;28
Aaron
Thank you.
00;20;49;13 – 00;20;50;12
Lindsey Mayo
Always.
00;20;50;12 – 00;20;57;17
Aaron
Always. That’s normal. Once a year and like any day. What about the next day? Like to me, did you feel a little better or.
00;20;58;04 – 00;21;17;24
Lindsey Mayo
You know what? I didn’t feel that probably for a week, week and a half. And so I walked probably from about four or five days, I think. So it was a little faster pace of a walk, but I couldn’t run. I was extremely okay. I’m sure I raised something like my tailbone, so.
00;21;17;24 – 00;21;19;22
Aaron
When I quit and that’s John’s thing, right?
00;21;19;22 – 00;21;40;07
Lindsey Mayo
Like because I knew because the day that I fell, he goes, Well, I’ll walk it. I go, No, you won’t. I said, You you physically cannot. You will enjoy yourself more. You just know I’ll do it. I said. I looked at him and I said, I told you, run, walk or crawl. I will do the challenge for you.
00;21;40;24 – 00;21;47;07
Lindsey Mayo
And he goes, okay, but I can do it. And I said, No, I’m not going to allow you to injure yourself more.
00;21;47;18 – 00;21;49;22
Aaron
So compassion was driving him right.
00;21;49;22 – 00;22;15;09
Lindsey Mayo
And this is one of the first times that he’s ever really been injured sustainably for more than maybe a week, two weeks max. So this is still something that he’s he’s healing through it, but he still has to watch what he’s doing currently because his tendons have not fully healed. So there have been many a days where I just have felt absolutely miserable or I’m tired and I didn’t want to do it.
00;22;15;09 – 00;22;29;11
Lindsey Mayo
We built the pool last weekend for a good example, and I was inside and I’ve been doing a bunch of stuff in the house, went outside, help to build the weight, something else that you have to do. But the boy’s down. It’s 830 at night. I still have it.
00;22;29;23 – 00;22;32;23
Jon
And I forgot to lift it. So.
00;22;32;27 – 00;22;37;11
Lindsey Mayo
So I looked at him. So I’ll see you at about 10:00. 10:00.
00;22;37;26 – 00;22;40;06
Aaron
So I was like, Oh, I got to do it. I forgot.
00;22;40;13 – 00;22;43;16
Lindsey Mayo
And it was the fastest time. I ran on the treadmill.
00;22;44;05 – 00;22;44;25
Jon
To crash it.
00;22;45;17 – 00;23;04;25
Aaron
I did. Is that later when we were doing the before the winner of five and then the 21, this is like it was really cold. I think it was starting to snow really bad and it was several days over. Like, you should not be doing this, but it was amazing. I got some of the best times. So I was running at night because that was the only time I could do it that day because it was gone.
00;23;06;04 – 00;23;10;27
Aaron
And you just it’s almost like the difficult drugs that much more. It makes you more focus.
00;23;11;06 – 00;23;16;01
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah, to get through it. It helps. And I also started watching a lot of those movies.
00;23;17;08 – 00;23;24;27
Jon
They were keeping it real here once. Are Netflix movies while running, has it become an escape for her to sit at? Helps you, Sam, help you?
00;23;24;27 – 00;23;31;20
Lindsey Mayo
Because running on the treadmill, I think the whole separate type of mental fortitude to run 3.22 miles on the treadmill.
00;23;32;10 – 00;23;50;25
Aaron
There’s a I tremendous boredom. Yeah, sometimes it’s funny. It’s like we talk about difficulty and sometimes there’s like, there’s an unnecessary difficulty. Sometimes there’s unnecessary difficulty, like having to start on the treadmill. You don’t have to do that. That way. You could just change it up.
00;23;51;05 – 00;23;51;12
Lindsey Mayo
Right?
00;23;51;19 – 00;24;14;10
Aaron
You know, whatever. Whatever that thing is, just make it easier for yourself to give yourself a process to stay consistent. As we talked about on a diet. Don’t keep Doritos in the pantry. Keep them at the store right now. If you want to consistently stay at something, it’s like, okay, what does that environment look like? Plan that out and then execute it.
00;24;15;02 – 00;24;18;17
Aaron
You know, I hope that consistency with that.
00;24;18;17 – 00;24;26;07
Jon
So I’d like to dig deeper past the challenge because you know, it’s cool. Stone going, thank you for.
00;24;26;07 – 00;24;27;11
Aaron
Doing the work that was done.
00;24;28;00 – 00;24;28;16
Jon
Wednesday.
00;24;28;23 – 00;24;29;13
Aaron
So I finished.
00;24;29;13 – 00;24;32;11
Lindsey Mayo
Thursday. Yesterday was the only dance at Impromptu.
00;24;33;13 – 00;24;34;27
Jon
So we finished that song.
00;24;34;27 – 00;24;36;20
Lindsey Mayo
I’m going to go run like six months ago.
00;24;37;13 – 00;25;03;03
Jon
By the way. The purpose of these challenges is to change lifestyle, right? So your incremental mental shifts to the challenges and then it works like I slept in this morning till 630. In there you have lost 2 hours of my day sleeping till 630. What am I doing? But that’s a point, right? She she ran for 45 days and she’s like, my mistake that I’m doing again.
00;25;03;03 – 00;25;25;26
Jon
It’s lifestyle change. That’s the tool of consistency, right? And it’s fun. You know, there’s a lot of people will think I’ve done 20,000 times a day. And so there’s a lot of people who could run a marathon a day. And so right. And I had an injury, you know, not had to address it. And that’s fine. You know, that we we can’t compare ourselves to or someone else’s today.
00;25;25;26 – 00;25;50;15
Jon
We have to compare ourselves to the we were yesterday and who we want to be on tomorrow. Right. And but you know, there’s value in that. But well, what I think affected me the most and what I want to dig into more is kind of some of Lindsay’s character. And because it was the symbolism of the run and what it meant for her to choose to pick that up.
00;25;50;26 – 00;26;12;00
Jon
And what I knew her intent was in doing it, that was powerful. But the fact that she ran, who cares, right? I mean, I care about like, okay, it was what she was stating through the action that was really cool in our partnership year.
00;26;13;08 – 00;26;33;10
Aaron
Did you think that was going to happen, that this would affect. Yeah, because this thing I got to find John is telling me how impressed he was by like, legit like, this is incredible that she’s doing this for me. And, and I was like, John, you are welcome to have a life like that. We had decided that you better be thinking.
00;26;33;10 – 00;26;35;02
Jon
God, how did you get so lucky?
00;26;36;17 – 00;26;38;02
Lindsey Mayo
Because that’s a whole different story.
00;26;38;16 – 00;27;03;16
Aaron
And we’re in. I know how you care, so I know maybe I’ll ladies listen to this. And I was like, Well, is that the expectation? All life? That’s like, that’s a personal decision, right? You decided this room. You. That’s right. That’s setting some standard for all wives everywhere to do this because men start lots of dumb ideas and don’t finish on it’s not their wives responsibility to finish it.
00;27;03;25 – 00;27;05;03
Aaron
But you decided to do that.
00;27;07;09 – 00;27;08;14
Jon
Digging back into the why? Yeah.
00;27;09;00 – 00;27;10;15
Aaron
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00;27;10;26 – 00;27;25;29
Lindsey Mayo
What I think more than anything, like I said, a mortal thing. Like I’ve seen Jonathan being moral in general, but I’ve never seen him go through such excruciating pain.
00;27;26;08 – 00;27;26;15
Jon
Right.
00;27;27;06 – 00;27;54;14
Lindsey Mayo
I’ve not seen him have to physically quit or especially with fitness, like everybody who sees him just automatically starts thinking this this guy’s huge. Like what you do. Oh, I have all sorts of people you’re shaking your head, or even with the podcast are like, Oh, is it about fitness? Marcus Is he coaching? Like, I can do that.
00;27;55;00 – 00;28;14;26
Lindsey Mayo
But for me, he’s never failed in that area. When we used to live in California, the man was crazy and he’d run in 110 degree weather to the point where he was almost passing out on the side of the road because he forgot to bring water. So it’s like, but he wouldn’t quit. He still finished the rest of the way home.
00;28;15;10 – 00;28;34;26
Lindsey Mayo
I mean, the amount of mental fortitude that he has to push through physical ailments is incredible. And I think it sets a standard not just for him, but for our boys and for those who are around him, like, if you know, you’re coming to work out with Jonathan, you know you’re in for it.
00;28;35;16 – 00;28;35;23
Aaron
Yeah.
00;28;37;18 – 00;28;45;10
Lindsey Mayo
Like there have been people who are like, Oh, I want to come work out with him and I will look at them and I will say, No, yeah, you shouldn’t do that.
00;28;46;07 – 00;28;50;15
Aaron
Yeah. John this is one example. This is yesterday.
00;28;51;27 – 00;28;53;19
Jon
Got done and there were two.
00;28;53;19 – 00;28;57;12
Aaron
Towels sitting on the floor. I was like, That’s where I was.
00;28;57;23 – 00;29;01;00
Jon
We’re not sweating that much.
00;29;01;00 – 00;29;16;26
Aaron
It’s 30 degrees out. The sweat, the freezing rain doesn’t stick around too long and he just they just fill the pool, which is outside in 30 degree weather.
00;29;17;04 – 00;29;19;05
Jon
I don’t trust that they’re not a thermometer at all.
00;29;19;05 – 00;29;39;00
Aaron
It’s said 46. I’m sure it was like I can’t believe it’s warmer than ambient temperature. It’s got to be wrong. And the to the pool we went and all you said was two or 3 minutes. That was your question. There wasn’t even a question that it wasn’t a question of like, Hey, do you want to do this? Like, I don’t remember.
00;29;39;00 – 00;29;41;25
Aaron
I don’t remember being asked what my opinion is.
00;29;42;15 – 00;29;43;19
Lindsey Mayo
It was an expectation.
00;29;45;05 – 00;30;02;29
Jon
To finish up. We’re on the service and we’ve been doing polls at this point like heavyweight holds instead of positions. There’s like, okay, I’ll set the timer. And he was like, Start walking back to the bag. It’s like, No, Aaron in the pool. Wait, wait. You’re you’re joking.
00;30;04;17 – 00;30;15;03
Aaron
And that’s for you. It’s fun. It’s like it’s a challenge and it’s not something you’re used to doing either. And it was, Yeah, having a friend like John.
00;30;15;20 – 00;30;16;15
Jon
I can’t imagine being.
00;30;17;11 – 00;30;22;26
Aaron
Lindsey all the time. Like, I could leave you here.
00;30;22;26 – 00;30;24;18
Lindsey Mayo
I did it just as much as he does. So.
00;30;24;19 – 00;30;25;19
Aaron
So you’re tough.
00;30;25;24 – 00;30;29;09
Lindsey Mayo
Go campaign to get away.
00;30;31;01 – 00;30;37;13
Aaron
With what did you. So getting through that, though, were you surprised that you could do that or just you knew.
00;30;37;14 – 00;30;38;02
Lindsey Mayo
So right.
00;30;38;06 – 00;30;40;18
Aaron
To do 45 days straight?
00;30;40;18 – 00;30;56;19
Lindsey Mayo
No, doesn’t necessarily surprise it. I love to run. And if I could run daily, I absolutely would. And prove that I can swim five days. But it’s more the time commitment and it’s than the mental. Like I have to fit this into my day.
00;30;56;22 – 00;30;59;10
Aaron
That’s my point is you had so many hours.
00;30;59;10 – 00;31;23;01
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah. So there were days that I woke up. Yeah, like 5 a.m. and I would run. Right? I drink my coffee for the first couple of minutes as I’m walking, and I still did a couple different types. But then there were days where I would run in the middle of the day or night or he’d be done with work and I feel like dinner’s on the table.
00;31;23;01 – 00;31;33;17
Lindsey Mayo
I’ll be out when I’m done running. Like I know what the rest of our evening looks like. I got to get this done. And so I would go running fast as I could, basically.
00;31;33;21 – 00;31;38;20
Aaron
So Lindsey, I could give you the reasons why you should quit on this.
00;31;38;20 – 00;31;39;16
Lindsey Mayo
I had many of them.
00;31;39;16 – 00;32;04;11
Aaron
Yes. Like you do for small children, right? You you volunteer and you do different things. You’re the one that takes the kids in school. You’re you’re the one taking care of most of what she has service to. But primarily you have all this responsibility to all that you can say, Oh, I’m super busy. Like by any standards, I’m stacked as far as my schedule goes, right?
00;32;04;19 – 00;32;10;17
Aaron
And that you it’s like you didn’t acknowledge that that is a reason to quit.
00;32;11;13 – 00;32;29;27
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah, it wasn’t it wasn’t a thought in my mind. Even the day that I fell on ice. I’m not a big crier for pain. And I was full blown in tears. I shuffle, wash back and grab some rocks and told him I fell on ice. I love you. Have a good day. More right now, guys in the car.
00;32;30;00 – 00;32;36;03
Jon
Don’t ask me. I just wanted to. I did walk back out to the car.
00;32;36;03 – 00;32;58;02
Lindsey Mayo
So, I mean, it was for me, it was just that I get to pick up where he left off. And it’s it goes back to that being open and honest. And it’s it’s sharing your load and it’s a baton race. This life isn’t a sprint.
00;32;58;26 – 00;32;59;10
Jon
That’s right.
00;32;59;25 – 00;33;27;15
Lindsey Mayo
And it’s unfair in a marriage to have him feel like he has to hold all these things or for me to have to hold all these things. Right. When you start to get into the nitty gritty of those things and go, I really need you to take this off my plate for a little bit. Are you willing are you able can you finish it through?
00;33;28;05 – 00;33;54;21
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah, you know, and you have to ask those questions. He didn’t necessarily ask that question. He was just like, what? I’m going to have to just, you know, change my my standpoint. But he didn’t want to change his standpoint. And I saw that he was physically unable to continue. And I knew how much this challenge meant to him, whether he’ll admit it or not.
00;33;54;24 – 00;34;28;21
Lindsey Mayo
I mean, it it changed these challenges have changed. His thinking have changed the outcome of our our marriage and the way that he looks at the boys, the way he interacts with them. But I think even more on just sharing his his world. It shows the boys that when one person fails, there is at least somebody else who lovingly cares for you who can pick up where you left off, help pick up some of the pieces and continue on.
00;34;28;29 – 00;34;51;25
Lindsey Mayo
That’s right. It’s the whole like don’t cry over. No, it can be cleaned up. And if you get another and it doesn’t, you know, and for me to be able to say, hey, I’ll finish this out for you. And every day I text him a picture and I watch. Some days were way slow, and other days we’re really fast.
00;34;53;02 – 00;35;01;16
Lindsey Mayo
Some days my heart rate was through the roof, and most days and other days I was okay.
00;35;02;12 – 00;35;02;16
Jon
Like.
00;35;03;06 – 00;35;08;26
Aaron
What does that do to you? That’s a just observer.
00;35;08;26 – 00;35;36;01
Jon
Well, I feel like the physicality of this is so not the target, right? As an observer, it was the embodiment of if you want to go far, go together, right? If you want to go fast, go alone, or you know where one man may like, one person may fall down. If we go to them, they’re in trouble if they’re by themselves.
00;35;36;17 – 00;36;05;27
Jon
But if they have some with them, they can get back up. Right. So is this embodiment of that of where I didn’t ask her to do run. I didn’t think about the potential. Someone else continue to run as a person. You just target the gun and the suit. What what affected me was the symbolism or the story. The metaphor it represented in how we have been with each other for a marriage and what we want to continue to foster and create.
00;36;06;06 – 00;36;27;03
Jon
It’s it’s part of the piece. You know, I talk a lot about there’s about 90% myself. I want to burn off, get rid of destroy. You know, I want to focus on that’s part of the 10% of our marriage. I want to pull out and keep growing. Right. And so it affected me deeply. I’m, I think, a holistic right.
00;36;27;15 – 00;36;52;01
Jon
And what I’m interested in and should encourage, it’s motivates like, wow. Like why is she giving that right? She’s staying busy. You know, our four young children are, you know, twin four year olds to a seven year old boy. They’re all American hot blooded lands. Right. They they go out shirtless. What happens on the walls when they hear something funny?
00;36;52;11 – 00;37;12;12
Jon
They’re shooting. They’re bows and arrows. They’re wreaking havoc on communities. He travels. They don’t stop. To quote one of my buddies, he said waking up in the house is not a seat for the same party. And you see Lindsay come out and start peacefully drinking coffee and talking with people as if everything’s completely normal in a war zone is weird and scary.
00;37;12;26 – 00;37;34;07
Jon
And so like to hear that, you know, I hope that today we can also I want to pull more and more out of you. Well, because there’s there’s thoughts here. And like one of our friends, I won’t name him here. He’s like, oh, please take advantage of this opportunity. Her. I want to understand her thought process. Nervous. I don’t know how she doesn’t I don’t know why she does.
00;37;34;09 – 00;38;04;15
Jon
And it is the holistic view of what you do with the kids and everything else. In Real quick, as we circle to that, you mentioned you were talking about the effects that these challenges have had on our family that I’ve been doing in what I heard in that is that you saw value and what those effects were outside of myself, how they were affecting your as an eyes relationship, how they’re affecting the relationship with the boys.
00;38;04;15 – 00;38;09;16
Jon
And it sounds like you wanted to preserve that in part by continuing this. Is that fair?
00;38;09;24 – 00;38;10;06
Lindsey Mayo
Yes.
00;38;10;13 – 00;38;15;12
Jon
Okay. What are those effects? Selfish question.
00;38;15;12 – 00;38;51;28
Lindsey Mayo
I think some of the effects that I’ve seen, especially in the boys, are they have two parents who rarely say no to opportunity. And the challenges have just become part of what we’re doing, whether it’s just you or the boys come out in the morning and it’s with you because they see you striving for excellence and somehow inside them they want to do that and they see you setting that example and they want to do that with you.
00;38;52;02 – 00;39;24;06
Lindsey Mayo
Like our oldest grand five came with you and that’s the first time he’s ever done it. And he’s never been more proud. And I think that that’s something that’s interesting, too, because when they understand that we are their encouragement through the process, they they have someone who’s always backing them. It puffs them up with pride to understand that you and I are willing to go the distance with them and they’re little.
00;39;24;06 – 00;39;45;04
Lindsey Mayo
So obviously they can understand what they can understand that they see that in you and me. I mean, I sat while I was running on the treadmill one day and our oldest was reading books to me because he needed to get his reading. And that’s real rough because when you’re teaching a child to read and you’re trying to focus on learning, it’s hard.
00;39;45;04 – 00;39;52;17
Lindsey Mayo
But he loved it and he was just like, okay, Mom’s in here. I’ll just be in here with her. And it was just part of our day.
00;39;53;13 – 00;40;18;25
Aaron
And feels familiar. I mean, what you’re doing in teaching and training the kids translates from your personal decisions to challenge yourself and push through it. It’s kind of the same kind of governor that hits like when we have to go the distance. Like you said, it’s your kids. It feels the same as when you go to the distance at 930 at night, you’re on it or something.
00;40;18;25 – 00;40;31;23
Aaron
It’s like, okay, well, I don’t want to do this right now, but I’m going to push it because it’s that’s what you do, All right? Over exercise that muscle of, I don’t want to do this. I’m going to do it right.
00;40;31;23 – 00;40;34;25
Lindsey Mayo
John And I mentioned.
00;40;37;00 – 00;40;58;08
Jon
The example to the children. And I’m curious if there’s just more there and if there’s not that fine example to is a great aspect of that. So, yes, you did answer the question. I just want to dig a little bit, see if there’s anything Astroturf, because you’re right and you do see a difference in the kids. I mean, if we are what we do, if we are who we pretend to be, we are what we do.
00;40;58;21 – 00;41;20;23
Jon
We are the resulting action. Perhaps, however you want to say it, children will learn and adopt or reject what their influences are. Right? So the example piece makes sense to me. Was there anything was there a cheat? I guess my question once again is a selfish question, but hey, we’re having some genuine conversation here, which is our goal.
00;41;21;28 – 00;41;29;06
Jon
Did the way I interact with you were them change or is it just the example? He’s not interested in me, but.
00;41;30;05 – 00;42;02;29
Lindsey Mayo
I think the whole violence, the 90% keep the 10%. You’ve been pursuing that for quite some time. I think with the challenges, it’s absolutely marked goal a lot easier for you instead of just kind of going through like, I heard this, now I’m going to restructure this part of my work, but the challenges have kept me consistent for this amount of time and it has caused you to pause in your reactions.
00;42;02;29 – 00;42;28;27
Lindsey Mayo
It’s caused you to kind of be more thoughtful in the way that you interact with us, especially since I started to run. I think not necessarily seeing you and I as equal physically because we are nowhere near that. But I think it was enough in you to be like, I know she’s got me. Like, that’s at least what I saw from it.
00;42;29;07 – 00;42;41;19
Lindsey Mayo
I saw you kind of shift in the mentality of I’m doing all these things for our family and she’s willing to step into my realm, into my world and help me out.
00;42;42;18 – 00;42;58;05
Aaron
And does it make you kind of up your game when you observe? Or is it like it to what you said, son, about the run? That’s what it means. Oh, yeah. And what that meant to you caused you to react.
00;42;58;16 – 00;42;58;27
Jon
Yes.
00;42;59;07 – 00;43;00;10
Aaron
In a positive way.
00;43;01;04 – 00;43;04;01
Jon
Catalyst. Support. Catalyst. Yeah. I mean.
00;43;04;10 – 00;43;09;28
Aaron
It almost made it easier to want to respond to him, to think about it, just observing it.
00;43;10;13 – 00;43;47;12
Jon
It further distances the ability to choose that you zero right to go to friends and avoiding the pursuit to avoid pain is an exercise in its right. But but it’s true. And you know you’re just playing with freedom. And that’s especially true, right? If you’re disappointed, if you haven’t, you know, there’s this concept called See You, which is finished with universal human trait to encourage and foster strength, tenacity indomitable ability, grit, perseverance.
00;43;47;12 – 00;44;07;20
Jon
Right. And we are healthy. We build ourselves to be, you know, yet the old adage are with me right? You Twinkies, you’re going to probably look like a 20. Right. But if if you eat well, you’ll probably be a significant batch healthier and yeah it’s also true what you do so her doing that too. It’s like pouring not lighter fluid.
00;44;07;21 – 00;44;13;07
Jon
So lighter fluid just burns up so fast. It’s just adding fuel to the fire. Now in.
00;44;13;13 – 00;44;13;28
Aaron
Oil.
00;44;14;03 – 00;44;36;14
Jon
Just less that less burns. Yeah. And to answer your question specifically, what happened when I saw it was actually insight, because sometimes it feels lonely through business literature. Now I have a full time job. We have a hobby ranch. Well, I should say this. We have three business ventures, you know, a beautiful sun job. We have the ranch, we have four sons to raise, and we’re very intentional time spent.
00;44;36;14 – 00;45;07;06
Jon
We have relationships to foster, right? And it’s like, well, why the heck am I doing all this? I could cut out all three ventures. I could simplify the ranch and just have my 9 to 5 in 96 and eight or whatever and the kids. And it’s because I think that we both believe that we can inspire something and foster in them to go further and we can write into each other and into each other and encourage our relationship.
00;45;08;04 – 00;45;32;13
Jon
And I think our mutual goal I know for a fact that we talked about and written it down to find it and continue to look after it is our goal is to position our children and equip them for the road in such a way that they’re ready to push into the storm and push through adversity and they see it and they incite it with a smile and chuckle and the rest.
00;45;32;24 – 00;45;56;29
Jon
And the reason they do this, because they have a vision for what they want to pursue as their ideal, their world that exceeds where we can even imagine. Right. And we’re so we’re not I don’t want, by God out donate everything we ever create those kids so but we’re trying to foster young men right And and what I’m hearing and to answer your question here and especially Christmas is that.
00;45;56;29 – 00;46;00;06
Jon
Well, it certainly is. Yes.
00;46;00;06 – 00;46;02;02
Aaron
You get to talk to her.
00;46;02;02 – 00;46;27;00
Jon
Doing that, though, absolutely inspired me. If there was any question quit or I’m going to start taking a slacker easier path where I’m going to be to pursue these things that fight flames of passion to my with my family. That absolutely did it because it fortified it. Hey what you’re doing is appreciated even though we are sacrificing time because we invest both the time we do that, keep up, sacrifice that.
00;46;27;09 – 00;46;51;00
Aaron
That that is to me, that’s so opposite of how it should be. But you have you’ve affected change and each other by sacrificing something. So you give up something and it and it’s traded way up because it’s affected you. She’s made this and you may not even realize that was going to happen. I doubt you even thought that as a motivator, but it was something you got.
00;46;51;00 – 00;47;00;24
Aaron
Yes. Yeah. I mean, because if I were you, I’d be, like, hanging over him for the rest of my life. The next time he doesn’t take out the trash. Hey, you remember I.
00;47;01;29 – 00;47;04;00
Jon
Have to run by five K now? Yeah.
00;47;04;28 – 00;47;09;16
Aaron
I think I could use a backrub. I mean, but if you’re too busy and I was too busy.
00;47;10;12 – 00;47;10;17
Jon
But.
00;47;10;24 – 00;47;13;16
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah, I’ve never really thought about that.
00;47;14;28 – 00;47;18;09
Aaron
And I’m able friends, you know.
00;47;18;27 – 00;47;22;03
Jon
3 minutes in the pawn shop.
00;47;22;03 – 00;47;33;14
Aaron
But you, you have, you, you did it. You were one of it. That’s, I assume the front end because, see, remote is really it was a motivation of love and compassion.
00;47;33;26 – 00;47;54;16
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah. There was, it was more of that. I didn’t want to see them suffer. I didn’t want to see him in pain. And I knew I could run. I knew it would tax me a lot more to attempt to pick up his £10,000 a We might have to do like £1 every minute for the next like 10 hours or something ridiculous.
00;47;54;16 – 00;48;15;21
Lindsey Mayo
But running, I was like, No, I can do that. Yeah, I guess finally something that I got to be able to do with him because on the physical aspect of things, he doesn’t work out with me. He’s never once allowed me to work out with him. But it’s just because we we get mad at each other. It just doesn’t work.
00;48;15;21 – 00;48;18;12
Lindsey Mayo
Well, it just it doesn’t it doesn’t go well.
00;48;18;13 – 00;48;20;27
Aaron
You’re not always going to be at the same pace in the same space.
00;48;20;27 – 00;48;42;20
Lindsey Mayo
And that’s exactly that’s what I was saying. Like the baton thing is such a beautiful imagery because, yeah, you got to hand it off. And he didn’t know he was having a lot of what I stem from and what I really put in to you. Like what is the parting things that I want to leave with my boys if I were to die tomorrow?
00;48;42;20 – 00;49;26;14
Lindsey Mayo
Or the job is that our family does hospitality well, that we serve others with the finest China, with the best that we have, that you always feel welcome here at any hour of the day. And if you just need to call up and talk to somebody, you’ll hear chaos in the background. But we’re here for you. And that’s what I wanted to bring that much more into our relationship, not just that we pour out into other people and into our own children, but it’s kind of fun because it’s something that other people get to actually witness that him and I are pouring into each other just as much as we are pouring out into other
00;49;26;14 – 00;49;26;28
Lindsey Mayo
people.
00;49;27;00 – 00;49;38;18
Aaron
And it’s so good. And there’s not there’s not some big gap. People have to connect like they’re hypocrites like each other, like everybody else. It’s temporary, genuine, right. It starts here.
00;49;39;02 – 00;49;51;08
Jon
All training each other. One thing that I think is also true of our relationship, which is a factor that helps us, right? Because we have a whole mountain to work, right?
00;49;51;21 – 00;49;52;27
Lindsey Mayo
You don’t want to. By no means.
00;49;53;18 – 00;50;14;23
Jon
I want to paint the picture correctly. We have tons of struggles and we consistently are working friction, and I think that is true of every marriage, you know, at least so. So I just want to make sure we’re engaging in picture like marriages in our relationship. It’s hard. Life is hard, parenting is bloody hell, and we’re making the best of it, Right.
00;50;14;23 – 00;50;50;11
Jon
And and creating paradise in it. But the the factor that I really appreciate in the hospitality that is and how Lindsay and I work as a team is, I think we’re very complementary to each other through adversity and it’s through a very like we’re naturally complementary to each other and that’s one face court, but the other face is very comfortable turning the temperature up to a thousand and just crashing through things and disagreeing with each other and having those statements and the boys witness that.
00;50;50;23 – 00;51;12;26
Jon
And we unfortunately witness that because we’re participants in it. And but it’s good because it’s a motivation. So it matters. Right? You and I talked about how it’s equal effort, not outcome. And we come together with that effort. And the intent is we are closer, we’re stronger, we’re healthier, knowing that it’s okay for us to work through the friction and stuff.
00;51;12;26 – 00;51;28;00
Jon
And I mean, this is just the first time that in a physical challenge where we’re doing some project on the property, we were throwing both of our bodies at a metaphorical challenge to further ourselves in our relationship.
00;51;28;00 – 00;51;29;15
Aaron
And we let each other into that.
00;51;30;05 – 00;51;32;28
Jon
Journey.
00;51;32;28 – 00;51;49;22
Aaron
Yeah, I, I just love how that is, how they kind of came together at the end of it. Is that what response? Because you have to just fall more in love with the other person when that happens, you know, And this is just one of many.
00;51;50;04 – 00;52;07;04
Jon
You know, the next 50 years you’ll be together, whatever. Actually, I don’t know how similar is it. More is me, more what what else can what else you think about when what happens?
00;52;07;14 – 00;52;25;14
Aaron
I wonder. Can I ask one question? This is just like to me there’s somebody you listen to. Girl guy, does it matter? And they’re just like they’re hitting a wall and they they feel like maybe they’re even failing at what they’re doing right now. Like, even just being.
00;52;25;14 – 00;52;26;16
Jon
A mom right now is.
00;52;26;20 – 00;52;37;29
Aaron
The most difficult thing in the world. Even just dealing with the job. I don’t do this anymore. Or there’s some like while they’ve been hitting on some goals that they want to read or write.
00;52;38;14 – 00;52;38;29
Jon
Or.
00;52;40;07 – 00;52;54;22
Aaron
Something they want to pick up again. Like, what could you say to that person who is just really struggling with trying to manage where they’re at now or where they want to be?
00;52;54;22 – 00;53;24;18
Lindsey Mayo
I’ve always said sink or swim. I’ll always choose to swim. And when you feel like you’re starting to sink. The biggest thing that you can do is to attempt to calm yourself, because when you start to panic, you start to drown. And when you’re starting to go into hardship, when you’re starting to go into failure, you feel like there’s absolutely zero time left in your day.
00;53;26;19 – 00;53;55;06
Lindsey Mayo
All you have to do is take one step in the direction. Yeah, but you’re back next year and I stand pages. Doesn’t have to be the chapter. Just start like you were saying, exercising that muscle just a little bit. Parenting is a whole separate thing. It’s hard to define struggling, but if you want to spend more time with your kids, put your phone on silent or turn it off on Sundays.
00;53;55;06 – 00;54;19;06
Lindsey Mayo
For the most part, we haven’t done this a little bit. But about a year ago, every Sunday after church Jonathan and I would turn our phones off the rest of the day, I’d say, Y’all know where I live. If you need me, come over. And we wouldn’t turn back on some of because you can’t be intentional. If you’re distracted, you can run on a treadmill.
00;54;19;18 – 00;54;41;14
Lindsey Mayo
If you take one step off to the right because that’s all you have to be focused and that’s hard. It’s hard if you’re in a job that is hard, if you are parents and you feel like your family, but you can’t you cannot compare yourself to the person next to you. Because if I try to compare myself to Jonathan, well, I am ashamed of a person because I’m a real little.
00;54;41;14 – 00;54;43;05
Lindsey Mayo
I can do things that you can do.
00;54;43;08 – 00;54;46;12
Aaron
And mothers never comparing themselves to other mothers, right?
00;54;46;22 – 00;55;05;03
Lindsey Mayo
You should. And everybody always does. Because if a person Instagram and Facebook, things look amazing and it’s not fair, it’s not. I would just you know, you have to you have to choose to try not to mentally look at those things.
00;55;05;03 – 00;55;28;09
Aaron
I saw that some I saw a movie that encapsulated this for me. They were looking through a photo album and that one person saying, Wow, you guys are like an incredible life. And it’s like, these are the pictures. It’s like the real lives happened between between these pictures. Yeah, that’s those are the stories. That’s the grit. And everyone is common in that difficulty.
00;55;28;15 – 00;55;51;01
Lindsey Mayo
You don’t really don’t post the the moments that you’re mad at each other. Someone touched the full hose and is broken down on your face, off at your kids. And you’re like, Why did you do that? I’m not going to post that because then people are like, Oh, well, this, that and the other. Now you post that the poll was successfully built, there’s all sorts we got it wrong.
00;55;51;01 – 00;56;04;25
Lindsey Mayo
You’re going to undo all of it and redo it. But it’s just it’s how do you approach those failures? How do you approach building the forum? Well, okay, start over.
00;56;05;03 – 00;56;08;02
Jon
What a wonderful lecture on a problem set to work.
00;56;08;03 – 00;56;28;16
Lindsey Mayo
Do you mean just in general, like, okay, so you you built something wrong in dinner. You made it incorrectly. I have chicken nuggets. Everybody’s going to eat their food. It may not be a five course meal, but there’s something on the table. You’ve given something of yourself in return for someone else to have less time.
00;56;29;00 – 00;56;43;11
Jon
That’s good. When you’re facing a failure, that’s less fine, right? Like dinner was terrible, which is very rare. And also quite shout out because I have a lot of friends who appreciate this. You first. There’s children listening to this.
00;56;43;27 – 00;56;47;17
Lindsey Mayo
So I didn’t like what I say.
00;56;47;18 – 00;56;50;21
Aaron
Peer and oh my God, there.
00;56;50;22 – 00;56;51;11
Lindsey Mayo
Is.
00;56;52;20 – 00;56;52;23
Aaron
A.
00;56;52;23 – 00;57;10;03
Jon
Reason that this is funny and for the more intimate for those in the audience who are at this house or have been a lot, you’ll know she helps enforce the language standards in our home. So that’s just really fun. Thank you for allowing me to that. Okay. Okay. Yeah, She’s on there, right? Yes.
00;57;10;16 – 00;57;14;14
Aaron
Yes. But she said she did it for a good 15, so she was.
00;57;14;14 – 00;57;37;29
Jon
Waiting 3 minutes, but it could be right back to it. When you’re looking at less of a when you’re looking at a failure, that is less fun. Right. Like you feel terrible dinner was terrible. Okay. That happened maybe once the last eight years, but we’re past this finite issue, right? So it’s more systemic. But let’s say parenting. I feel like I’m failing as a mother, right?
00;57;38;03 – 00;57;41;28
Jon
Or I feel like I’m failing as a wife, which I don’t know if you’ve ever felt that way. I think you.
00;57;41;28 – 00;57;43;10
Aaron
Have. But this an attack on you, then.
00;57;43;16 – 00;57;59;12
Jon
It’s it’s going to win. And that’s why the challenge for me was struggling. And what I had to work through was I felt like I was failing in identity, not in action. And that’s what I had to reconcile. Right. And those are those big moments are how you define your set.
00;57;59;12 – 00;58;02;19
Aaron
My clear in my mind. Do I not finish things?
00;58;02;19 – 00;58;16;09
Jon
Correct. Yeah. So so my question is, when you take this mentality and you apply it to something bigger, I’m quitting. I feel like I’m failing as a mother. What are you doing?
00;58;16;09 – 00;58;54;22
Lindsey Mayo
Do you ever feel that way? I constantly feel like I don’t tell you anything continually. And that’s because in my head I’ve set certain standards that are unreachable. And there are plenty of times in parenting that I feel like I’m not making the right choice. That this is going to be a failure, that this isn’t going to work out, that we should have just stayed with The other option and the way to push through is to you have to try.
00;58;55;13 – 00;59;21;12
Lindsey Mayo
And if you’re not, if you’re so paralyzed to the point where you’re not even willing to put in the effort, then you’re choosing to sit out. And currently I get the best front row seat to watching the boys grow and I’m not going to make every right decision, but I’m going to put the evidence and the research into finding out what the best decision is going to be.
00;59;21;23 – 00;59;29;08
Lindsey Mayo
And I’m going to attempt to make the most of what I have in front of me and give that back to them.
00;59;29;19 – 00;59;29;29
Jon
Now.
00;59;30;20 – 00;59;36;16
Aaron
You’ve touched on the picture, that honesty to a lot of women would say that I don’t think I’m doing anything here.
00;59;36;17 – 00;59;37;13
Jon
I’m stuck here.
00;59;38;07 – 00;59;42;07
Aaron
Which is such a lie. I mean, I’m going to be this.
00;59;42;07 – 00;59;42;14
Lindsey Mayo
No.
00;59;43;02 – 01;00;03;09
Aaron
It’s not. It’s not true. It’s really not. It’s demonstrably good. And to see the incredible work you’re doing, John, and spoken on list of things he admires about you, that’s sort of the strength isn’t going to matter sometimes to a lot of women are not self aware of how great you really are with how much damage they’re doing in a positive way.
01;00;03;09 – 01;00;23;18
Aaron
Like they’re really crushing it. And all we can do as husbands is just use our strength as we see this. And you please just borrow my sight for a minute, you know, See, you need to see yourself like I see you. So I’m glad you said it, because there’s a lot of there’s another lady out there. I think she’s not doing her thing.
01;00;23;29 – 01;00;50;01
Jon
That’s true. And, you know, we were talking in the beginning about marriage being like a high form of friendship. If we apply the same thought process to friendship, that’s more generic or like you and I are right, when we take the time to look at relationship with the same level of seriousness, it’s amazing the value that makes. Okay, let’s pause and make sure you’re okay.
01;00;50;01 – 01;01;13;14
Jon
Are we okay? Is this okay? You’re doing amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. That investment, that water in of the proverbial line from episode one or whatever it may be, is is crucial. Right? In giving that encouragement back and having those checks and challenging assumptions is critical. And that’s where you can call out the lie of I’m not adding value false, right?
01;01;13;20 – 01;01;39;14
Jon
It’s fair to feel that way, but let’s just take a minute to recharge and discuss and embrace the insurmountable value that you’re at. And I know I still want to be there, but let’s pause and speak some truth into existence over you, over our relationship, over whatever that relationship is. And I think there’s something really cool there. It’s not the social media of a thousand friends on Facebook.
01;01;39;14 – 01;01;42;26
Jon
It’s that my friends and I invest in these people.
01;01;43;05 – 01;02;04;03
Aaron
It’s it’s like, you know, you told me about like you were saying earlier today is like not to panic or lose yourself. I got to swim. Oh, my God. And I got to drown. Right? I just immediately thought of that cold pool. Can’t bring that back around. Yeah. Because when you get if you’ve ever done, like, cold water therapy, stuff like that was that was my first real experience of doing it.
01;02;04;11 – 01;02;13;16
Aaron
But how is it the first thing that happens when you get into that situation is it’s it’s very, very uncomfortable. And then what shocks.
01;02;13;16 – 01;02;14;09
Lindsey Mayo
Your system is.
01;02;14;21 – 01;02;31;08
Aaron
Yeah, you can feel it. And then and then you start to run out of breath, which is a strange thing because it’s sound like your lungs have shrunk or anything has been. But you convince yourself that like, this is a panic scenario and I need to and I’m gonna die. And it’s not true. You’re going to be fine.
01;02;31;08 – 01;02;52;13
Aaron
But the first thing you have to do is to tell and just we just we’ve got to get we got to get the breathing under control. You’re not dying. You know, this is like motherhood one on one, right? It’s like, Yeah, not dying. You’ve got to be okay. Yeah. And you’re. And you can live. You’re going to get through it just fine.
01;02;52;13 – 01;02;54;14
Aaron
And you’ll be surprised how strong we really are.
01;02;54;23 – 01;02;55;04
Lindsey Mayo
Right?
01;02;55;05 – 01;03;17;03
Jon
Yeah, Well, and to that, it’s incremental, right? Like before you and I ever done before, we ran through a list, right? Like, and there’s trust in each other to say, Hey, let’s go get the pool. The reason you didn’t say no I’m good is because there is some level of trust and confidence in our relationship and the experiences that a lot of students it’s been grown upon to try to sneak so many things.
01;03;17;05 – 01;03;19;18
Aaron
Right? Yeah. You have four kids. I’m sure you get it all the time. How do you.
01;03;19;18 – 01;03;21;19
Jon
Do it for kids? That’s crazy. She started with.
01;03;21;19 – 01;03;24;22
Aaron
One. Yeah. We want to get to get through it then.
01;03;24;26 – 01;03;26;11
Lindsey Mayo
Yeah, well, the twins gave us.
01;03;26;14 – 01;03;26;23
Aaron
Four.
01;03;28;07 – 01;03;30;01
Lindsey Mayo
Dollars for one right there.
01;03;30;04 – 01;03;31;27
Aaron
You doubled your output.
01;03;32;11 – 01;03;32;26
Lindsey Mayo
We did.
01;03;34;08 – 01;03;35;13
Jon
It myself. A concussion, right?
01;03;36;05 – 01;03;59;25
Aaron
Yeah. You just. We use that. Tosh gets us all the time. She’s just incredible moment. Like you. She’s just always having to recalculate and get stronger and is. It’s amazing to see. She’s so much better at so many things. And I just kind of watch and just try to encourage this. I don’t know how she’s doing it, but she’s but but when she’s asked questions like, how do you do for kids?
01;04;00;27 – 01;04;04;04
Aaron
It’s just you get muscles for I feel like.
01;04;04;14 – 01;04;09;08
Lindsey Mayo
How do you pick up £15 or how do you pick up like £150. Why do you have to start with.
01;04;09;17 – 01;04;09;29
Aaron
Yeah.
01;04;10;17 – 01;04;13;07
Lindsey Mayo
You start with one cup, maybe £5.
01;04;13;17 – 01;04;14;19
Jon
It’s all incremental, but.
01;04;14;19 – 01;04;34;25
Lindsey Mayo
It’s all you have to build it up on the last like yesterday. You don’t get to just go in the garage and go, I can pick up £150. I mean like Jeremiah can’t do that. He’s seven years old. And I told him to go pick up £150 because I think, Yeah, but if you also don’t try, you don’t know.
01;04;35;18 – 01;04;36;08
Aaron
That’s right.
01;04;37;07 – 01;04;54;29
Jon
And that’s we’re coming back to the comment you said a few minutes down is when you’re again, paralyzed by failure or fear or failure or when you don’t or you’re getting overwhelmed and sure, panic and you have to take a deep breath. You just take a step forward to what sounds like you came to a decision of do I take a step forward?
01;04;55;17 – 01;05;13;04
Jon
And then there is this realization that if I don’t take the step forward, then I’m going to be sitting on a bench and that’s the only way I can truly sit. And then the thought that came to my mind is sitting on a bench choosing not to engage, choosing not to take that step, choosing to become an uninvolved is the only way that you can truly fail.
01;05;13;23 – 01;05;24;12
Jon
So choosing not to engage right, choosing not to try is the only way that you’re going to ensure failure and that you’re on the bench now.
01;05;25;06 – 01;05;42;24
Aaron
Lindsay, that was such a great remark you made. Just you don’t know until you try and I don’t know if you surprised yourself at doing that. I mean, this sounds like you have so much grit anyway. You you have been doing this for a while. You know, you have the muscles for it. But I love that you did.
01;05;42;24 – 01;06;14;05
Aaron
You one adopted someone else’s challenge and to bring honor to them in love without without any thought of, you know, this is adding something for me. And then to you, I think you’ve been instructed your husband on what the friendship means to you inside of the marriage. And that’s affected him in a positive way. You get a lot of those benefits, which is which is a great little byproduct.
01;06;15;01 – 01;06;40;24
Aaron
But I, I think one of the big takeaways for me today is just that don’t be afraid to to step it up into something. You may surprise yourself. You may you may change someone else around you by deciding to challenge yourself that way. And also some of those sometimes it’s just looking around what other people might need assistance and I need.
01;06;40;25 – 01;07;03;25
Jon
To be the hero for them. Yeah, it’s it was definitely investment in the friendship portion of relationships, also the partnership, because you have a goal in mind of something we’re trying to build to and to have that type of proof of concept in action was a true gift. So thank you and thank you for joining us today.
01;07;05;04 – 01;07;14;14
Aaron
It’s getting romantically warm, so I’m going to leave. No, no, no. I’m glad you guys all joined us. Say it. Thank you so much for who you are. Yeah, you’re awesome.
01;07;15;28 – 01;07;16;21
Jon
Anything to part with.
01;07;17;12 – 01;07;18;00
Lindsey Mayo
That hard ten.
01;07;19;06 – 01;07;22;10
Jon
Always cool, I think everyone.
