EXPLORING THE TOOLS THAT UNLEASH HUMAN POTENTIAL
Episode 5 of The Grit Theory.
In episode 5 we sit down with Kyle, an active duty soldier and long time friend to Jon. This jovial conversation covers:
– Cultivating success through failure.
– The power of self reflection.
– Embracing limitations to plan beyond them.
– The role humility plays in self acceptance.
– The no quit mindset.
– Why to keep going, period.
– The importance of perspective.
– Continue the journey, relevance over resume.
Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!
Also, check out Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be waymakers HERE.
Do you want to learn more? Check out:
The Book: Be Relentless: If the obstacle is the way, then we must be WayMakers.
The Podcast: “Be Relentless Podcast”
The Fuel: Sisu Stamina, Performance Evolved
Linktree: Here.
08;06;39;13 – 08;06;22;10
Jon
All right. Hello, everyone, this is Jon Mayo, as always, joined with the great Aaron Robinson and and today we have the fortune of sitting down with Kyle, who has ran up here from Texas and jokingly flew in a plane like a normal human being.
08;06;22;09 – 08;06;15;14
Aaron
And we brought you a present today, Kyle. All right. With a blizzard. You’re welcome. Precisely.
08;06;15;13 – 08;06;11;22
Kyle
Thanks. I made a deal with Mother Nature. Let him get here.
08;06;11;16 – 08;06;10;10
Jon
But then don’t let him leave.
08;06;10;08 – 08;06;09;16
Aaron
Yes.
08;06;09;09 – 08;06;06;08
Jon
And looking outside, she’s holding up her end of the bargain.
08;06;05;22 – 08;06;02;07
Kyle
Right? Yeah. Texas had a lot of snow, and in some cases they.
08;06;01;29 – 08;06;01;00
Jon
Have snow in Texas.
08;06;00;24 – 08;05;57;16
Kyle
We did this year. Really? Were you guys.
08;05;57;16 – 08;05;56;27
Jon
Ready for it?
08;05;55;15 – 08;05;51;23
Kyle
No. All right.
08;05;49;27 – 08;05;42;03
Aaron
So what shocked cowboys? Yeah. Yeah, this is 11.
08;05;42;02 – 08;05;30;11
Jon
We are grateful because there are some concern. You’re not being able to make it in with the weather and everything, and we do get to have this conversation. So broad, broad scope of what to expect. Right. Especially for you, because you’re like, what the heck is this?
08;05;29;14 – 08;05;05;29
Jon
As a we, for the most part, is will continue this interior, right? We’ll try and give you a clean handoff where you can start the dance for us conversationally from how. You crafted success through some pretty tough failures you faced, and then you can expect the plane to begin landing.
08;05;05;21 – 08;04;57;28
Jon
Well, thank you. And start summarizing, and that’s where we can get our final moments in the conversation. Until that natural closing, we’ll close it out. How’s that sound?
08;04;57;08 – 08;04;55;24
Kyle
Sounds good. Thank you for having me.
08;04;55;19 – 08;04;39;19
Aaron
I like that. Thanks. And thanks for coming with failure because just looking at you, you’re a slightly intimidating looking person. And I’m just glad that you just are going to show me that you have some weakness and we’re going to we’re going to take advantage of all that today.
08;04;38;29 – 08;04;38;04
Aaron
So once you learn.
08;04;37;20 – 08;04;36;17
Kyle
How to do or this.
08;04;36;04 – 08;04;33;07
Jon
I know that’s actually the first I’ve heard it to. Is it the overalls?
08;04;32;27 – 08;04;25;17
Aaron
It’s yeah, it’s the car, not your body. All right. It’s not that dad.
08;04;25;17 – 08;04;17;17
Jon
But this is a this is an American warrior. He’s fine tuned for destruction and.
08;04;17;06 – 08;04;15;11
Aaron
Stuff like that. And I get it.
08;04;13;12 – 08;04;12;28
Kyle
Well, thank you.
08;04;12;05 – 08;04;10;14
Jon
I’m glad that we get it open today.
08;04;09;21 – 08;04;07;22
Kyle
Our guest? Yeah, this is fun.
08;04;07;02 – 08;04;05;27
Jon
I know I will pay for this.
08;04;05;23 – 08;04;02;19
Aaron
Oh yeah, I so. Yeah, I’m leaving now.
08;04;02;18 – 08;04;01;03
Kyle
Yeah, so.
08;03;59;13 – 08;03;49;02
Aaron
So I’m like kind of on the back seat here of two buddies here, because Jon Kyle, you guys have known each other for a number of years. How many? How many? How long is.
08;03;49;02 – 08;03;41;20
Kyle
It about 15 right or 16 something. I mentioned that this is 2015.
08;03;41;20 – 08;03;40;00
Jon
We’ve not been buddies for 15 years.
08;03;39;28 – 08;03;36;04
Kyle
That’s right. Yeah, 2015. So but six years now.
08;03;36;04 – 08;03;35;03
Jon
Public math is really.
08;03;34;20 – 08;03;32;18
Kyle
Yeah, that’s another thing everyone do.
08;03;32;11 – 08;03;26;23
Aaron
I am concerned there’s going to be a lot of winking and inside language that I’m just going to be like, Wow, when I was on, you.
08;03;26;10 – 08;03;25;10
Jon
Know, more than you had.
08;03;25;10 – 08;03;08;25
Aaron
With Rob. So you guys have known each other for a bit, and Kyle is a gracious enough to stop by our studio here to record some of what you guys learned to get some together and now also individually on what your journey has been to.
08;03;08;25 – 08;03;02;10
Aaron
So this will be fun for me to kind of sit backseat, but also ask them questions so you guys know.
08;03;00;20 – 08;02;58;17
Kyle
So I’ll try and answer.
08;02;58;12 – 08;02;50;03
Aaron
All right. Are you all right? You just make a salad me, and then I’ll know about it. But it sounds.
08;02;49;22 – 08;02;25;23
Kyle
As the jury in the book. So given the given the promise of grit. Right? I’ll say that we take it as far as the obvious, you know, the whole life story and given the context. But a big life lesson for me has been from going from the top right, always being bad guys up front to then being
08;02;25;23 – 08;02;11;14
Kyle
among other great people, men and women, where now you have to. It’s a battle internal. Like How do I get out of my own head and still tell myself I’m good and good enough when I’m middle back now?
08;02;11;09 – 08;02;10;16
Kyle
And sometimes it.
08;02;10;01 – 08;01;57;02
Jon
Is, so that can give a little bit of context as to what where were you the top and where are you now that you’re finding that you’re in a new level of players, that you’re no longer in the top and you’re adjusting with that?
08;01;56;20 – 08;01;37;25
Kyle
Yeah. OK, so you know, growing up, you know, getting a you know, it’s also. People can think that they’re on top of it, it’s all it’s all based on how you perceive yourself, right? But you always want to if you’re competitive nature, you always want to see that you are the best, you are out there and then
08;01;37;25 – 08;01;11;14
Kyle
you attack those, those opportunities. Growing up, playing soccer, did that got what I thought was pretty far an algorithm that was not far enough to obviously do that outside of just you graduate high school and stuff. But then during that, I learned a lot and knew what I wanted to take specifically in the military where I had
08;01;11;14 – 08;00;56;19
Kyle
enlisted. Grown up listening to World War two stories, then gone and wherever we go, try it out in the woods. Living off Lambert a week or so is a lot of fun. It’s just kind of a different mindset.
08;00;56;01 – 08;00;34;17
Kyle
And then from there, when I was enlisted, always top 80 saw performance space was always really good. I was on track to one where I had had contracts right in front of me to go to Tier one schools and attempt to get a Tier one units that 17 or 18 years old.
08;00;34;16 – 08;00;30;27
Aaron
That’s a good thing. I said, Yeah, okay, I’m just the token civilian here.
08;00;29;23 – 08;00;05;04
Kyle
So it’s like your your, your, your sock. So your Special Operations Command, which includes Marine Corps, you have your mask and then Ranger Battalion, SAS Navy said, Oh, that’s right, that’s all the different branches have. There’s an even Air Force has the controller in place, right?
08;00;05;01 – 08;00;04;22
Kyle
Okay.
08;00;03;09 – 08;00;00;01
Aaron
So these are like elite unit opportunities. Right, right.
09;59;59;27 – 09;59;43;09
Kyle
And it’s it’s humbling, actually. When you first get it, you’re like, Oh, OK. But then you have the realization, OK, you have good enough and everyone else is going. So fast forward got opportunity to to try out for one itself.
09;59;43;09 – 09;59;29;25
Kyle
The first time I went in with the mindset of, Oh good, I forgot it. It’s OK. I’ve been at the top here the entire time. Ratings always good. And then I break myself on day six.
09;59;27;15 – 09;59;23;09
Aaron
You know, right away. You know, any, you know, this part of the story.
09;59;21;02 – 09;59;04;07
Kyle
And but you just kept going. And then by day eight, so I ruptured by left Achilles, by day six and then by day a miraculously sliding fee. But I was determined, not quick. That you’re going to have to pull me off this horse.
09;59;04;06 – 09;58;49;05
Kyle
So why? Why? Again, I think it’s just on mindset of how you grow up. You know, for me, it was, I’m going to go do it and I want to do it. I want to stick to that. No matter the hardship, the pain you learn from that.
09;58;48;07 – 09;58;30;05
Kyle
And at that time, it was also interesting to know. I wanted to know how far I could take myself like I know my body and broke it. But how far can my mind go now? You know, this is a there’s a Tier one trial, so if my mind breaks, then I’m done.
09;58;29;08 – 09;58;12;00
Kyle
And that’s when you throw in the towel. But growing up in that, in that mindset, you don’t stop. You don’t quit, especially when it’s something that you want. Then you look at, OK, my body may be broken. I push you mentally right?
09;58;11;20 – 09;57;53;14
Kyle
You because that’s that’s really, in my opinion, the difference between professional athletes and college athletes and then just athletes, right? As they’re pushing their mental state to a whole nother level. They can always get bigger, stronger, faster. And you just have someone to help you reach similar setting up.
09;57;53;14 – 09;57;46;07
Kyle
You have whatever else it’s legal to help you, but that mental state at that point. And I think that’s the big difference.
09;57;46;07 – 09;57;40;22
Aaron
Is your body is following your mind at this point. You know, you just decided I’m going to do this right.
09;57;40;01 – 09;57;28;13
Kyle
Because there’s portions of it where, you know, test you like. They know you’re broken and they’ll go faster just to see if you have the fortitude to keep up. Because if you fall back too far, it get strong in.
09;57;28;13 – 09;57;27;14
Jon
Back of the truck means you’re.
09;57;27;14 – 09;57;18;03
Kyle
Out, right? Like literally in the back of your pack in and go, Yeah, you’re your metaphorical capacity.
09;57;17;21 – 09;57;15;25
Jon
In the back of that truck means you’re out of the.
09;57;15;15 – 09;57;14;00
Kyle
Yeah, you’re out of the program. Yep.
09;57;13;06 – 09;57;08;08
Jon
Yeah. Quick question for clarity. So this is Trout’s around one when you were enlisted?
09;57;07;22 – 09;57;06;13
Kyle
No, this is as an officer.
09;57;06;11 – 09;56;52;12
Jon
OK, so just a quick jump. So you were receiving this information? You ultimately decided to accept an opportunity to pursue your commission as an officer and you became an officer in regular active army.
09;56;52;11 – 09;56;51;29
Kyle
Correct.
09;56;51;18 – 09;56;42;08
Jon
And then what you’re talking about now is you were given the opportunity again and you pursued it as an officer for these top tier programs.
09;56;42;02 – 09;56;41;01
Kyle
Absolutely, yes. OK.
09;56;40;23 – 09;56;33;25
Jon
And that’s where we are now with the ruptured right Achilles, and you’re trying not to get run over by TRICARE.
09;56;31;12 – 09;56;30;28
Kyle
Yes.
09;56;29;28 – 09;56;12;29
Aaron
Kind of looking at you, there’s this weird dichotomy of a because I’m like, OK, you are probably at this crazy guy that you know, you’re doing top tier stuff and you’re and you’re really pushing yourself. You probably could kill me right now if I said the wrong thing.
09;56;12;19 – 09;56;02;17
Aaron
But here you are. Now I’m just looking at you. If you were in studio with us right now because like a smile in his eyes, he was like, he’s just like a kind soul. And yet I could. I could.
09;56;02;03 – 09;55;58;08
Aaron
But I’m convinced that you blown some things up a few times.
09;55;57;23 – 09;55;57;10
Kyle
Not to.
09;55;57;10 – 09;55;54;20
Jon
Mention just casually rocking the.
09;55;54;20 – 09;55;49;00
Kyle
Overalls rocket. Yeah, yeah.
09;55;48;14 – 09;55;39;15
Aaron
I I just I didn’t want to add that brevity before you started talking about what creative things you do. You’re just you’re very unassuming.
09;55;38;18 – 09;55;27;21
Jon
Well, and you know, I think a fun thing to play with that, Aaron, and this is really cool. I think this is more the norm when you see the pompous guys right or the guys who are really loud about it.
09;55;26;22 – 09;55;06;07
Jon
They’re all steam nearby, typically, right. The throughout these top tier communities and throughout the high performers in most organizations, there’s a steadiness and calm to them, and they’re typically very jovial. Likable. Right? And to me, that’s a great indicator when I see someone who’s like big and acting tough and being loud.
09;55;05;22 – 09;54;48;13
Jon
I just think being laser, yeah, what a loser. But when when you have the dude who’s very comfortable with themselves clearly cast it laid back having fun. That’s that, I think is one of the trademarks of, OK, we’re dealing with a consummate professional here who’s skilled in their craft.
09;54;48;12 – 09;54;32;13
Aaron
That’s a great character trait. And that’s what I’m calling it out of you because. I so appreciate someone who doesn’t have to give me that resume. You know, like we’re asking you your story, but I doubt that you’d force it into a conversation at dinner with people.
09;54;32;13 – 09;54;18;20
Aaron
Hey, did you know? Right? You know, you just have a there’s a there’s an inner confidence and part of your story is deciding, Hey, this is this is for me. I wanted to push my mind. You haven’t said yes.
09;54;18;10 – 09;54;06;18
Aaron
I wanted to be the best at this and get a magazine or whatever attention you were. Just like me is is wondering if I can do better. I can push it harder.
09;54;06;00 – 09;54;00;25
Jon
And that’s a great transition back to their accelerating the truck and the pace.
09;54;00;10 – 09;53;58;21
Kyle
And you have ruptured Achilles tendon.
09;53;58;08 – 09;53;57;06
Aaron
They know you got married.
09;53;56;28 – 09;53;56;15
Kyle
All right.
09;53;55;00 – 09;53;48;03
Jon
Thank you for letting us add a little bit of context there for everyone listening. But now you’re hearing the engine rev up in your I don’t want to be squished.
09;53;47;18 – 09;53;46;25
Aaron
So what’s.
09;53;46;25 – 09;53;19;24
Kyle
Next? Well, so you keep going through that. There’s there’s there’s portions through it that they break up into in sections, basically. And so different sections have different. Then they shoot for different outcomes. And so following it to the final portion, which is of unknown distance of a war Iraq, you have a pack in your back.
09;53;18;07 – 09;53;15;04
Kyle
They give you a set way and you just.
09;53;14;26 – 09;53;13;21
Jon
Go in what is that way?
09;53;12;16 – 09;52;58;11
Kyle
Usually between 40 to 50, depending on their you, they’ll give you a baseline, but you don’t trust the scale that they give out a little bit more. But you never know like. I wonder if that’s actually £5 off.
09;52;58;01 – 09;52;56;22
Jon
So or 15?
09;52;54;06 – 09;52;38;11
Kyle
So you just you, you put weight in and and you just walk. And for me, I was. I was dead last. And again, coming from someone who does not know what that feels like. I’m seeing everyone else just go.
09;52;37;26 – 09;52;21;19
Kyle
But by that point, I broke it down to the point of. OK. I said to myself, I couldn’t care this for me, I don’t know anything in here. And so you’re you’re just going to go through the night.
09;52;21;15 – 09;52;08;06
Kyle
You do whatever the medical drug was right behind me and they they just didn’t. They didn’t. Like, whenever I would start, they would stop. I was here, the door, open behind it.
09;52;06;23 – 09;52;03;01
Aaron
Yeah, that’s that’s what you look like. Well, they.
09;52;03;01 – 09;52;00;02
Kyle
Also will encourage you to do it. They’ll say.
09;52;00;02 – 09;51;56;27
Jon
Hey, it’s cold in your tired and it’s a coffee in the back of the.
09;51;56;27 – 09;51;43;05
Kyle
Truck that you want to about for some of this one. They’re actually really good about that, though in the beginning. But at this point, they’re just like the systems there where it’ll break it down enough without having to say a word.
09;51;39;12 – 09;51;25;00
Kyle
But yes, and so on. Yeah, but yeah. And so finally, another truck comes from the direction of what’s going on now. Don’t worry about it. You read the CBO and the guy’s like, Look, we got to pack all this up.
09;51;24;14 – 09;51;05;14
Kyle
I was like, So pack it up, keep walking over. And he’s like, No, we can’t have anyone on track while you’re doing this. So basically had a conversation with them. And as I’m still hobbling along because I didn’t want to misstep because of I had stopped, I was going to fall over as bad.
09;51;05;12 – 09;50;52;24
Kyle
They would just come in just so I went in and I’m chugging along and doing about the same pace as what we were doing with the the.
09;50;52;08 – 09;50;50;26
Jon
The yoke of this water.
09;50;50;26 – 09;50;50;02
Kyle
Here this morning.
09;50;50;01 – 09;50;48;17
Jon
You know, the sort of stabilizers?
09;50;48;15 – 09;50;46;15
Kyle
Yeah, that’s what we.
09;50;46;15 – 09;50;36;00
Jon
Did the hearing this morning with the artillery rounds on the ropes. So it’s swinging all over. And it it came a little bit by surprise on how much it would stabilize it.
09;50;35;27 – 09;50;16;11
Aaron
Yeah. So it’s as for those yo yo kids. So it’s Olympic bar across your shoulders, and Jon has, for whatever reason, decided to pass the best in these artillery rounds that are as we wait them, they’re really 83, £83 each.
09;50;15;03 – 09;50;11;23
Aaron
Hanging by a rope on each side of this thing while you walk, right?
09;50;11;14 – 09;50;08;08
Kyle
Anthony. Yeah, yeah, that’s what it felt like.
09;50;08;04 – 09;50;06;16
Aaron
And this is about me.
09;50;06;01 – 09;49;59;20
Kyle
No, no. Actually, I took the first step. I was like, Whoa, whoa, this is this is not good.
09;49;59;19 – 09;49;56;09
Jon
I’m not watching his face. I saw the realization that.
09;49;56;09 – 09;49;46;01
Kyle
A mistake may have been, you know, I just want more weight on. I was like and I kept the weight up had, Oh yeah, I probably have gone through your car.
09;49;43;21 – 09;49;36;16
Jon
Which would have really been unfortunate. So you’re walking along essentially with giraffe legs? Yes, is what that illustration means.
09;49;36;15 – 09;49;27;02
Kyle
Yes, I’ve even already faced by a couple of times had to use a rifle like paper. So it was, yeah, it was a fun time. So the guy.
09;49;26;23 – 09;49;22;23
Aaron
At the end of yourself really had a year. Yeah. Anything you can do to try to.
09;49;22;20 – 09;49;21;09
Kyle
Correct it’s all mental illness.
09;49;21;02 – 09;49;20;21
Aaron
Right?
09;49;19;18 – 09;49;03;05
Kyle
And the guy comes up and he’s like a rookie golf course. And I was like, Well, show me the medical paperwork and come back. And so he drives off. I’m starting my trek up this hill, and I make it probably to me it felt like it was a mile.
09;49;02;25 – 09;49;00;21
Kyle
That’s probably about five feet. Oh.
09;48;59;24 – 09;48;48;14
Jon
And to be fair, because this is important. I don’t want to walk past it too quickly. You needing the medical paper is because you know that even though you’re still going, you’ve not met the standard for the events, but you’ve not quit.
09;48;48;01 – 09;48;44;16
Jon
Correct. So you’re saying before I take this knee, you proved to me, I can come back.
09;48;44;15 – 09;48;26;08
Kyle
Exactly. Yeah, that’s what that was about. I wanted to make sure that I got another opportunity because you hear a lot of people in the medical jobs and they don’t come back. But to me, I was like, If I’m going to get beat by this course, I’m going to face it head on again.
09;48;26;02 – 09;48;15;24
Kyle
And now I’m going to humble myself, which was done by day one. So I’m going to hold myself and train up to come back and be it.
09;48;14;29 – 09;47;59;17
Aaron
So that right there. Why? Like, you know how hard it is and you Premiere that decision when you’re still in pain, I assume, right? Because you’re telling them this. So, you know, eyes wide open at this point, you didn’t know that prior to this course, but you know it will break you.
09;47;59;06 – 09;47;54;12
Aaron
Yes. And you said, I need to come back and beat this thing right back.
09;47;53;14 – 09;47;35;00
Kyle
You know, competitive. If it’s a monopoly or something like this, that’s Premiere, Janey. I want to be competitive at it. And again, it goes into that mindset and you’ve got to put yourself in it. And you know, we talk about mindset a lot, especially in, you know, a lot of work work on this and even in just
09;47;34;25 – 09;47;17;10
Kyle
normal soldiers, when they go through basic training, talk about mindset, bigotry, it say the big thing is that you don’t always have to stay in that mindset 24-7. It’s turning it on and off and learning how to analyze on certain emotions during an event.
09;47;16;20 – 09;47;01;15
Kyle
And in this case, the conversation came into that that desire to just drop back, you know, you had to push that to the side. You had to know how hard to turn it on if you didn’t want to stay in that state, either the entire time because they can let you down.
09;47;01;12 – 09;46;44;04
Aaron
We’ve talked prior episodes about all the things you consider during that when it comes on the table that you could quit, right? And then there’s certain things you say to give yourself an outlet. You could drop to Sacramento, right?
09;46;43;19 – 09;46;41;00
Aaron
And you could get on that metric or whatever, right?
09;46;41;00 – 09;46;40;21
Kyle
Really.
09;46;40;21 – 09;46;27;25
Aaron
So it’s there is a present right, is it? Well, I noticed in that because that that ethic levels the playing field for everybody, because people think if you are thinking like that, then you’re just not going to be a winner.
09;46;27;14 – 09;46;23;01
Aaron
But the winners have the same exact voices in their head to just handle it differently.
09;46;22;24 – 09;46;02;15
Kyle
Right? There’s actually there’s another podcast called Happy. And so it’s this course that I really thought he would like. Yale, where is the science of happiness? And this instructor talks about how golfers and Olympic athletes, they go through that same emotion.
09;46;00;18 – 09;45;45;09
Kyle
They’ll dog themselves a golfer or go up to a hole on Xbox. And he’s like. I’m here on this whole always mess up my shot, and it takes their caddy to be that voice of like, no man. That was last time.
09;45;45;07 – 09;45;27;00
Kyle
It’s a man, you know, and going through their motions of how to block certain negative thoughts that can then ultimately make it or you ruin a shot, right? It’s the same concept. Just. You know, different body, different, it’s all the same elements of the package.
09;45;25;24 – 09;45;09;16
Kyle
So it’s interesting because it is really a big thing and actually speaking with the army and military as a whole has looked into this where now they have programs and people on bases that go train, how to think through events and stressors and stuff.
09;45;09;15 – 09;44;58;14
Kyle
So it’s a it’s a thing where it actually for better performance. You just don’t know how to get through it so that it doesn’t happen. You know how to get through it.
09;44;57;26 – 09;44;41;09
Aaron
Is that happening prior to the event as well? I mean, I’m thinking, Yes, you’re right. We had this report prior to you, OK? It’s like you almost had to say, I know there’s many parts of us want to quit Zalman address that before I even get into it.
09;44;41;08 – 09;44;38;24
Aaron
And it’s sort of like that. Or how do you do it? Yeah.
09;44;38;15 – 09;44;23;20
Kyle
Well, so again, it’s like being humble beforehand. I was like, Oh, it’ll be fine. Yeah, OK, whatever they throw at me, I’m OK. If you can’t smoke a relic, you know it’ll be fine. And then I got there.
09;44;23;11 – 09;44;07;27
Kyle
It was a gut shot. It was a gut check, you know, and they know that realizing I didn’t prep my body from the time I was 18 and doing this business because I had broken myself, I had never worry about stretching.
09;44;07;27 – 09;43;54;02
Kyle
I never worry about doing the right thing. You know, after before I was going out, every time I didn’t hear what you feel invincible, which I’m sure everyone goes through when you’re younger. And it was a gut shot on all levels.
09;43;53;29 – 09;43;31;28
Kyle
Yeah. And then. After that gut check, that’s when you’re thinking through, OK. I really struggle with this, how do I build upon that on top of recovering to? So back to or talking to the guy who brought back the paper metal rock in the back of the faces of ever jumped in and truck before?
09;43;29;09 – 09;43;15;03
Kyle
And they were very able to give me some, some medical attention and some, like ibuprofen still better, which I’m sure worked. Oh, did great. That’s good, because that didn’t have anything.
09;43;14;23 – 09;43;11;11
Jon
Else on your body. So baseline, correct? It actually was effective.
09;43;11;02 – 09;43;00;20
Kyle
Yes. There’s no stimulants at any point unless you have like coffee from from whatever channel that if there’s no pills.
09;43;00;20 – 09;42;45;24
Aaron
Or you’re so when you’re broken. I think this is maybe the gift of brokenness is that there is no longer an excuse argument with yourself about the bad behaviors that you’re doing that will take you away from top performance.
09;42;45;09 – 09;42;30;13
Kyle
Right? Well, I think it’s more of a reflection. Yeah. You know, you’re like, man, if only I had run before, if only I had not procrastinated when we were, you know, out about. I think I think it’s more reflection.
09;42;30;04 – 09;42;24;18
Kyle
Yeah, the demons aren’t. You shouldn’t take off like there’s something really powerful to that, though.
09;42;24;04 – 09;42;10;12
Jon
When you’re living intentionally, when you’re developing the mindset of I’m going to rise despite this adversity. In that choice, it’s the choice to engage with the problem. You stop avoiding it and you start fighting through it.
09;42;10;09 – 09;42;09;23
Aaron
Yeah, right.
09;42;09;21 – 09;42;08;29
Jon
And that’s important.
09;42;08;16 – 09;41;46;29
Kyle
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because if you don’t, then I mean. My opinion, if you don’t, you’re not going to ever see that anything that’s hard, which as we know the things that are hard, are usually more rewarding. Even as simple as raising a family, right, that’s harder and you’re not going to succeed if you just throw your hands
09;41;46;29 – 09;41;40;02
Kyle
up, you know, taking care of the farm. That’s a lot of work. You just got their hands up like, Oh.
09;41;39;09 – 09;41;34;10
Aaron
I heard the hard day right here.
09;41;34;04 – 09;41;18;13
Kyle
Know grown up in a farmland that they never took a day off and those were some hard working people. And even if they were sick or whatever the weather was, they were out doing, it didn’t matter. And so I think there’s something to be said for that.
09;41;18;00 – 09;41;08;04
Kyle
You have to be able to know how to push through. Yeah. And I think we all do it. But to a certain degree, not everyone’s put in a position where they have to in that drastic build up, right?
09;41;08;03 – 09;40;56;07
Kyle
But we all find those challenges that make us make that decision. Do I turn right or left right takes when the hard path, but is a more rewarding left says, Hey man, just let it go and we find.
09;40;55;28 – 09;40;50;12
Aaron
You know, and most likely achieve it. But is that worth achieving?
09;40;50;01 – 09;40;49;19
Kyle
Is that.
09;40;49;10 – 09;40;49;04
Aaron
Right?
09;40;49;00 – 09;40;31;12
Jon
Yeah. And if you’re the sum of your choices, then this all adds up and puts more capital in the tank on what you can say yes to as far as the hard tests are concerned. So I absolutely on the small things, you know, whatever they may be saying no to dessert or whatever the case may be, where
09;40;31;12 – 09;40;19;28
Jon
it’s like, I’m going to choose the slight, small, hard over the easier, right? You know, those invest capital in what you have to be able to say. Now I’m going to wake up early are not going to do this now.
09;40;19;28 – 09;40;12;23
Jon
I’m going to read this book that I need to to sharpen my mind or put myself in this community to grow in this aspect, right?
09;40;11;23 – 09;39;57;21
Aaron
So it’s the same. It’s the same kind of feeling I feel like like if you’re afraid of crowded race, but you’ve also challenged yourself and it can be physical, it could be it could be something you had to forgive in a friend or slightly.
09;39;57;15 – 09;39;42;22
Aaron
It’s the same kind of difficulty, the same kind of mental fight you have. And so it feels familiar. So if you do it enough times, it’s like, I know this muscle. It doesn’t matter what difficulty it is, it’s the same kind of rhythm.
09;39;42;10 – 09;39;20;29
Kyle
Right. And and also, Jonson, you said, like, I remember us having the conversations when you’re out working together. And we talked about my first experience straight out of officer training, how like two weeks later went downrange and had this bandage combined examiner.
09;39;20;23 – 09;39;19;12
Jon
And downrange means deployed.
09;39;19;06 – 09;39;18;09
Kyle
Yes. Yes.
09;39;17;09 – 09;39;16;06
Aaron
I did not know that. Thank you.
09;39;15;29 – 09;39;14;15
Kyle
Yeah. Well.
09;39;13;19 – 09;39;12;16
Jon
That’s what we’re all just bouncing.
09;39;11;29 – 09;38;55;06
Kyle
Right? So you get deployed and had this huge joint mission where we brought in different air platforms combined with artillery. And I’m fresh out of the course and they say, here you get your school or radios.
09;38;55;04 – 09;38;53;29
Jon
Integrate these fires.
09;38;53;28 – 09;38;42;09
Kyle
Yes. And it’s you’re bringing in, you know, bombers, F-18s patches all the way down to your maneuvers, higher premiums, tanks.
09;38;42;06 – 09;38;37;12
Aaron
Above your ear. So this is harder than you than you’re qualified to be, right?
09;38;37;11 – 09;38;36;22
Kyle
I mean.
09;38;36;16 – 09;38;35;11
Jon
Qualification is at.
09;38;35;11 – 09;38;35;00
Aaron
Least.
09;38;33;03 – 09;38;09;17
Kyle
Supposed to be qualified and certified after the course, but your stress level is off the roof because there’s no room for error. And if you do, someone could seriously be injured or worse. Right? And because of that, like I was stress, but after that, everything else seemed easy.
09;38;08;25 – 09;37;55;28
Kyle
You know, you get you come down from it, you come down from that high and the stress level and you start to get your repetitions in. But then afterwards you’re like, OK, another another thing comes up that’s simple.
09;37;55;21 – 09;37;35;02
Kyle
It’s just one artillery mission that’s not viable on their platforms, and I’m only coordinated with one person. It’s it’s easy. And so but people that are just coming here, that’s stressful. And so it’s interesting that, you know, as you said, take that experience and now you’re you kind of callous your your soul or are you going to
09;37;35;02 – 09;37;27;15
Kyle
call your mind like, OK, well, that was that was harder than this. And I, I completed it, actually. All right.
09;37;27;07 – 09;37;12;21
Aaron
But that’s the whole. And that’s an old like exercise in baseball. I think about that swinging three bats or they put the weighted thing on there, and they do that because it makes the at bat relatively easy. Like, I just.
09;37;12;13 – 09;37;00;09
Aaron
And it’s weird how it’s it’s it’s the same that you didn’t swinging your whole career. Right? But but just by adding a little bit more difficulty now you. Are able to do those other things relatively easily. Right?
09;37;00;04 – 09;36;41;05
Jon
Yeah, and that’s why fitness keeps coming up in this conversation. Like in the different conversations you’ve had throughout the podcast, it’s not a fitness platform, but the reason fitness is a tool that’s integral to stretching yourself into a situation that makes regular life and other things easier, right?
09;36;40;26 – 09;36;22;09
Jon
Just like integrating five different layers of fire onto your target set makes using any one or combination thereof much easier and same if you’re trying to close on four houses at once in a real estate agent, and then you have to be one where I could make it so simple, it’s all perspective, right?
09;36;22;09 – 09;36;21;29
Kyle
Right?
09;36;21;25 – 09;36;06;23
Aaron
So it’s so if I were to do the kind of bite size. Lesson, kids, if you want to get good at something, do it way harder than you’ve ever done is correct. Then come back and tell me if you got stronger.
09;36;06;08 – 09;35;47;11
Kyle
Right, exactly. And yeah, and so like the second time I went back, I knew what I had to do. So as you had, you had answers to the test, but I knew what I had to do. And so while recovering, I was like, OK, I don’t even recover health.
09;35;47;09 – 09;35;30;08
Kyle
But also I need to make this harder so that we won’t. I go? And he did any drop of £50 instead of 40 because I know that when I go back, it’s going to be for me. Yeah. So I kind of had to answer the test, but I knew that had to make it ourselves and it came
09;35;30;08 – 09;35;16;24
Kyle
time to do it. The stress wasn’t there. I can actually focus on the task instead of worrying about what I’m going to think is hard or going through my head and have to tell myself it’s not bad. It’s not that it’s OK.
09;35;16;00 – 09;35;10;22
Kyle
I’m past that now. I already know it’s OK. He’s already done it in a horror crash.
09;35;10;20 – 09;35;07;22
Aaron
I won’t die. Right, that’s good.
09;35;07;16 – 09;35;06;17
Kyle
Or it’s less likely.
09;35;06;15 – 09;35;05;03
Aaron
That it’s not.
09;35;05;02 – 09;34;45;21
Kyle
Quite so. Then he moves on. OK, well, so real. You know, real. Good to pack it right? Yeah. You know what’s not real? What’s this? You know? OK, I just want to be better in the pack and get there, and you can actually plan out your your event because I made it harder on myself during training.
09;34;45;07 – 09;34;44;25
Aaron
That’s good.
09;34;44;18 – 09;34;41;24
Kyle
So it was it shifts your focus.
09;34;41;14 – 09;34;28;08
Jon
There’s this. There’s this saying that a gallon of sweat will save an ounce of blood. I get that right. If I could put you did that. The idea is to train harder than you expect the worst case scenario to be right.
09;34;27;26 – 09;34;27;13
Jon
And you’ll.
09;34;27;13 – 09;34;25;29
Kyle
Get there. Yeah, I like that.
09;34;25;20 – 09;34;10;01
Jon
And I want to put on a thread from the conversation you and I were having this morning, Kyle, where it just so happens that the injury you had with your Achilles is the same when I can both of mine from the challenge I’ve been doing, or they’re all torn up, so you’re able to show me some movements
09;34;10;01 – 09;33;58;16
Jon
to further help that. So thank you. But you made a comments like when it gets bad and you face the injury and the pains there, the last thing you can afford to do is stop, because if you stop, you’re screwed.
09;33;58;16 – 09;33;53;05
Jon
You have to keep moving, adjust and push through intelligently to heal.
09;33;52;29 – 09;33;52;19
Kyle
Correct.
09;33;52;09 – 09;33;49;28
Jon
Can you speak to that a little bit? Yeah.
09;33;49;10 – 09;33;28;00
Kyle
So I mean, and you take this in a metaphorical phase or here, everyone. And actually, it goes both. But just like your Achilles. So let’s just take that. So if you stop that muscle tighten up and all of a sudden position that it’s in and how do we stop, we stop by sitting down.
09;33;27;23 – 09;33;10;07
Kyle
Right, we’re not going to be standing up for U.S.A. now. We’re going to sit down and our muscles going to tighten and that position was sitting. And the Achilles is not just one single muscle, right? It’s your feet, it’s your calves, it’s your hips and your shoulders.
09;33;09;26 – 09;32;51;24
Kyle
It is a comfort to the rest of your body. And so when you stop now? You’ve let it relax into a position when you put stress. It has more possibility of terror and then even more pain because now you have to re stretch their muscle.
09;32;50;23 – 09;32;32;23
Kyle
So you continuously work. It just not necessarily the capacity of like, you’re going to break it again, but you continue to move, continue to walk that way. Now the muscle stays and say that’s supposed to be in, you know, extended.
09;32;32;23 – 09;32;20;09
Kyle
And then also it becomes more flexible because when you made those chairs, it’s now rebuilding and you want to make those chairs as it should be. So it’s not just think of counting. one physician has make it harder.
09;32;20;00 – 09;32;05;26
Kyle
They’re even worse. Flexible. Same. The same goes with really any other things that we have going on. Like if you just stop, you know, take it to the metaphorical phase right now. You just stop that. Now you’ve made it easy.
09;32;05;25 – 09;32;01;06
Kyle
That’s the that’s how you are growing that muscle. That’s how you’re growing at this. As result.
09;32;01;02 – 09;31;46;21
Aaron
I would say weak mindedness causes us to swing the other way. Real hard. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, it’s just like, OK, like, let’s get to inside a fitness thing and say, it’s like trust. Someone breaks trust with you, right?
09;31;46;20 – 09;31;31;09
Aaron
I’ll never trust anyone ever again is normally where we go. Mike, well, that that is going to cause a lot of pain down the road that you think that way versus like, well, maybe I just can’t trust big right now.
09;31;31;09 – 09;31;15;02
Aaron
You know, I got right and trust with somebody with, you know, just the little things, right? So keeping that movement is kind of the principle here, right? Right? Absolutely. They don’t stop move how you can in a safe way until you get healed.
09;31;15;01 – 09;31;01;14
Jon
You keep adjusting the plan in the pursuit of the goal. Yes, right. Yeah. You can’t quit the plan. Yeah, you have to adjust it to keep going forward and really neatly. This is like the old adage if you fall off the horse, you have to get back on it.
09;31;01;11 – 09;30;59;23
Kyle
Totally right away. Absolutely.
09;30;59;23 – 09;30;55;26
Aaron
Yes, it’s too toxic to stop. Yeah, absolutely.
09;30;55;01 – 09;30;40;16
Kyle
You know, in the case of physical injuries, you know, it shows it’s pretty good. If you just stop, it’s only for longer and take more effort. It’s going to be harder to get through. If you continue moving forward, then do it in a safe way.
09;30;40;13 – 09;30;26;21
Kyle
Maybe you’re not, you know, running 25 miles a week now, maybe just bring it down to two miles a week, just slow enough just to keep it going. And that’s after certain days you work back up to that level.
09;30;26;06 – 09;30;02;14
Kyle
Another example this is actually my uncle had a heart heart transplant, and so he was a marathon growing up. I mean, since he was younger, he had been invited to Boston Marathon multiple times. You’d run it, they actually some of the books he ran with some of the guys you run to write the running distance book’s names
09;30;02;14 – 09;29;47;10
Kyle
are leaving right now. So you grew up doing that and the heart transplant, they were like, Hey, you’re not going to be able to ride for a while or if ever again, you didn’t like that answer. So he started walking.
09;29;46;24 – 09;29;31;26
Kyle
And, you know, from going someone that runs 26 miles, like, it’s nothing walking a mile, it’s difficult. But he didn’t let that, you know, face he would walk a mile and that he’d built it up to my own half and so on and so forth.
09;29;31;06 – 09;29;13;25
Kyle
There’s actually a newspaper clipping on him where he six months later ran slash walk the Peachtree Road race, which is a 6.2 mile race. And then now, I mean, he’s back to running and he just comes back to me.
09;29;13;18 – 09;28;56;19
Kyle
You can’t stop like he had multiple reasons and excuses that you get upset. But he knew that where he wanted to be, he knew what he wanted to do. They knew that you just can’t just sit down and wait because it’s not going to get better.
09;28;56;00 – 09;28;47;01
Aaron
And so that’s that’s like a statement. But I think for some of what you just said, if you start, it’s not going to just get better.
09;28;47;00 – 09;28;26;16
Kyle
Yeah, right. And I know, yeah, it is a good thing, but then I will go into that mindset and it’s like, it’s very easy to do. And I’ve been fortunate enough to where I’ve had people around me that I’ve had situations like that, you know, my uncle by train through the or to run up with his stories
09;28;25;25 – 09;28;00;24
Kyle
. There were multiple instances of that happen. And then just people that we work with and friends that we meet, there’s always something. I do think that there is a danger zone with that. And my my take on that is if it is the humility part of understanding that people also have different actions in their lives, that that
09;28;00;24 – 09;27;41;01
Kyle
is a breaking point for them. So it’s very easy, like, oh, that’s like you got done doing a marathon. You know, I that’s not hard. You should be able to run to, you know, bringing it back up to the light me like, OK, Bernie, this is how I purchased Denver, my fitness level.
09;27;41;00 – 09;27;26;18
Kyle
I want exercise and up. Mental breaking point is how it works. But for someone else, you know, that’s not the case. And and sometimes that’s a hard thing with my wife that’s somehow going to remember home that she stressed out.
09;27;26;11 – 09;27;23;00
Kyle
Guess that’s just what? You guys do that a lot. All right.
09;27;22;09 – 09;27;14;26
Aaron
David, back to us. Correct? I think that’s our pushing a baby together. It’s all. It’s all relative.
09;27;13;00 – 09;27;06;02
Kyle
But you have to come back and look, you know what? For her, that’s right. That’s. I just had to go through some of the same things.
09;27;06;02 – 09;27;02;02
Aaron
We’ve talked about that before. Jon Elway like equal effort, not equal weight.
09;27;01;14 – 09;26;45;19
Jon
It’s critical and it goes back to what you can draw noted. I think there’s a difference between what you draw motivation from versus what you compare yourself to. I can draw motivation from someone like campaigns who runs a marathon a day, but campaigns I am not.
09;26;45;02 – 09;26;43;10
Aaron
So I need to compare.
09;26;42;25 – 09;26;24;23
Jon
Yeah, and I need to compare myself to who I am yesterday in whatever in pursuit of whatever ultimate ideals of pursuit. So. To see if some of the things I’m picking up from the conversation we’re having is you’re standing on the shoulders of giants and you’re supported and held up by the example of friends.
09;26;24;02 – 09;26;07;15
Jon
And you know, you can’t quit, you know, you wouldn’t quit. So you’re adapting the plan to pursue acceptance into these type two communities in the military to continue service. You have all the excuse in the world to leave.
09;26;07;04 – 09;25;55;11
Jon
If you leave, you’re still in active duty commission officer. You still pay. You should have a great job. He still holds benefits. All the things that you may want the lifestyle still there, but you just would have to live with the fact that you quit.
09;25;54;23 – 09;25;43;14
Jon
So you negotiate. I’ve not quit. Give me the medical waiver because I’ve not finished because of this injury. And I will get off the course. You don’t let them get you off course to have it.
09;25;43;00 – 09;25;42;13
Kyle
Exactly.
09;25;42;02 – 09;25;24;21
Jon
You go back. Yeah, you go back to the Forge every which is what we call it, the clinical lab. You go back to the forge and you re hammer out a plan to make to rebuild yourself. Now, with a good, solid streak of humility running through that blade, yes.
09;25;24;13 – 09;25;22;08
Aaron
And yet.
09;25;22;04 – 09;25;20;02
Jon
You’re reengaging because.
09;25;20;02 – 09;25;11;29
Aaron
She’s a new blade, really? I mean, you’re you’re you’re not going to approach it the same way. You know, you have to get some you got to do some.
09;25;11;29 – 09;24;52;10
Kyle
Work, right? And you know, it’s I’m actually really happy that I went after that when I did, but I didn’t do when I was 18 or 19 because I honestly would not have had the maturity. Looking at that right, I would have made an excuse of, Oh, well, it’s this person’s honor.
09;24;52;02 – 09;24;35;15
Kyle
So it’s not my family standing. Yeah, I just would not have had that. I know that that was because of my mind. It was a it’s heavy push harder. You know, I give heart and break through that that whole instead of stepping back.
09;24;35;15 – 09;24;20;13
Kyle
And it is difficult. How can I make this easier now? How can I prepare for this if this is my goal? And so I’m actually really fortunate to have gone through a lot of it. And so I did end up going back.
09;24;18;04 – 09;23;59;04
Kyle
And I didn’t I didn’t make it, that’s what made it all the way through which I was okay with, because at that point it was not me saying I’m not. I went back, I. Performed better than I had the first time in my game for that was I didn’t get injured, I made it through every day.
09;23;58;18 – 09;23;43;07
Kyle
I never got asked to leave. You made the gains that I had to make it over to the end. And was it, you know, a hard pill to swallow when they said, Hey, you just we’re looking for? Yes, but I also get all that.
09;23;43;07 – 09;23;33;12
Kyle
I’d I’d say, You know what? I came back to this and made it all the way through. I did what I had to do leading up to this and learned a lot about myself and what I have to do.
09;23;31;15 – 09;23;10;15
Kyle
And then from there. I was told I was told that from somewhere else, just not what I look for for that point. And that’s where is it? OK, that’s fine. You know that I’m OK with that. I’m at ease with that because now I take that mindset and I take that what I’ve learned in that peak that
09;23;10;15 – 09;22;52;17
Kyle
my body was there, and now I start to sharpen that, Lily. You know, you’re always continually, you’re always sharpening. Or I should say it proves that that’s all right. You’re always improving because I knew that some time in other events that come up and I need to be ready.
09;22;51;11 – 09;22;37;11
Kyle
And hell, when that happens, I just find myself getting really nervous. Oh no, it isn’t to say I got to make it a lot harder. And so now it’s it’s trying to figure out how to roll back and re approach the, you know what I want because.
09;22;35;27 – 09;22;23;01
Kyle
I can’t just go head on anymore. I never have prior injuries. I know that I have a different way to look at things now. It’s hard to really plan. And besides just breaking myself before I go to trial.
09;22;22;11 – 09;22;08;20
Jon
And what’s really cool and we’ll keep this high level. But with the lessons learned there and that approach, right? This story is very current because like you learned, there’s lessons of the past couple of years, but you’re still.
09;22;06;25 – 09;21;52;13
Jon
In the same arena, and that has opened up opportunities that you would have lost had you been accepted there, that you’re now right when you’re talking about, I need a plan that potentially could make it harder than X, Y and Z.
09;21;52;05 – 09;21;42;06
Jon
You’re actually doing that right now with a subset of opportunities that will leave it there, that are pretty Neato, you know? Right. And it’s exciting.
09;21;41;29 – 09;21;41;12
Kyle
It is.
09;21;40;17 – 09;21;37;14
Jon
So it’s an ongoing story. Absolutely. The journey continues.
09;21;36;23 – 09;21;22;22
Kyle
You know, I mean, to be honest, even when I leave here, I’ll continue. But just because, you know, I don’t think, like once you’re in that mindset, you learn how to do that. And now you’re you’re doing that towards everything.
09;21;22;14 – 09;21;09;26
Kyle
Yeah. And and people always talk about when they get out of the country, like one of the hardest things is realizing you don’t have that structure and support that you don’t have. And that’s where it comes in to play it.
09;21;08;25 – 09;20;57;16
Kyle
Like one of the things that I like to see my soldiers or people who are getting out is I say, OK, Premiere plan not not to try and talk to you because this is what you want to do it.
09;20;57;00 – 09;20;45;00
Kyle
But I just want to make sure that you start to plan and understand that. But if you don’t get a gut feeling of it, sure of kind of nervousness, then I don’t think you can ever market there specific things.
09;20;44;28 – 09;20;44;19
Kyle
Well.
09;20;43;29 – 09;20;43;10
Aaron
So that’s a good thing.
09;20;43;00 – 09;20;28;08
Kyle
Yes, absolutely. Ben nervousness to me makes me. It is literally, you know that they say that your gut check it is your gut check, right? It is you saying, OK, this is not going to be easy and I should not go into it with the mindset.
09;20;28;08 – 09;20;27;23
Kyle
It’s going to be.
09;20;27;14 – 09;20;19;08
Aaron
So good that I like that. I think of like going into a speaking engagement that’s like everyone’s fear.
09;20;18;29 – 09;20;18;16
Kyle
Right?
09;20;18;06 – 09;20;03;28
Aaron
And then people say, I’m nervous when I do. So I know sounds like you’re going to be awesome because you’re you are fully engaged with the fact that you care about what you’re doing. Correct. It’s when you’re when it when you have no anxiety, you’re kind of dangerous, right?
09;20;03;27 – 09;19;57;06
Aaron
You know, you have to have the nerves kind of focus you. It sounds like, you know, your gut check is you say, absolutely. Yeah.
09;19;56;27 – 09;19;52;12
Kyle
Yeah. Yeah, you have that. It’s to me, you have to have it.
09;19;51;08 – 09;19;48;05
Aaron
But it’s uncomfortable. I I don’t like, yeah, more control.
09;19;48;00 – 09;19;31;07
Kyle
It’s once I think it was true this, but I think it was made that I never said it, that once, Eisenhower said. Once your solution that can be used for advice and it becomes easy, that’s when you stop being the leader.
09;19;30;05 – 09;19;12;17
Kyle
And I take that out as like, OK, once it stops being easy, you know, that’s that gut check once is familiar. Well, now you’ve got to. And the reason I said, this is now you’re you’re not really. Yes, you have systems or procedures that have you just kind of left them to do their own thing or to
09;19;12;17 – 09;19;12;02
Kyle
continue.
09;19;11;16 – 09;19;07;18
Jon
You’ve become complacent, correct? You’re not continuing to pursue improvement.
09;19;07;15 – 09;18;58;02
Kyle
Exactly, exactly. And push those men and women to their better selves, right? And learn about that. And what are the next step?
09;18;57;23 – 09;18;47;24
Jon
Well, in my opinion, that is because the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree. So if you’re not pushing yourself to be better? Yes. And I’d love to meet the man that does not need to improve or the girl.
09;18;46;21 – 09;18;43;10
Jon
I am perfecting. Once again, we have a.
09;18;43;10 – 09;18;41;15
Kyle
Seat for you at the table with that theory, please, for.
09;18;38;20 – 09;18;25;19
Jon
These perfect people, right? And to say, show me the perfect organization doesn’t exist. So there’s always room for improvement. But if the if the leader is not first improving themselves, then why would they improve the organization? Right? You know, it stems from that.
09;18;25;13 – 09;18;08;09
Jon
Yeah, and that’s a mindset going back to. I think there’s maybe 10% of myself that’s worth keeping my life goal chop off, burn off the rest and bring forth the 10% value until it’s all that’s left right. I won’t accomplish that, but I can get a lot closer if that’s me.
09;18;07;23 – 09;18;04;13
Jon
And it’s the same with the organization you’re leading and these other things we’re talking about.
09;18;04;08 – 09;17;43;05
Kyle
Absolutely. Yeah. And it’s made of it’s made of men and women who have that mindset, you know, at that competition with themselves, right? And and always trying to better themselves and. Honestly, had that realization of, OK, what can I do, what can I effect, should I get mad about things that can affect?
09;17;43;00 – 09;17;24;23
Kyle
No, because now I just wasted energy. And when you’re surrounded by that, it’s it’s a whole other level. It’s amazing, you see. And it’s actually kind of funny because you find yourself having these conversations very stressful. Why are you are upset about this?
09;17;24;03 – 09;17;03;08
Kyle
Because in a normal environment of the military, this would be ten times worse. Or we wouldn’t even be thinking about something at this level. Why? Why? And so we actually step back. Sometimes it’s OK. Like we’re just pushing ourselves even more by thinking through whatever it is that we have to do.
09;17;02;18 – 09;16;49;23
Kyle
And it’s fine. It’s it’s very challenging day to day at the minimum that we’re with out and they challenge me every day. And when I find myself in ways that they quickly put me on back.
09;16;48;21 – 09;16;35;14
Jon
What’s nice is in the beginning, you’re talking about being a high performance organization, right? Right. Big fish and whatever size smaller pond. What the circles you’re finding yourself. And now going to some of those opportunities and cool things is you are now in a new pond.
09;16;35;02 – 09;16;30;08
Jon
Yes. Which is much not larger, but all the fish are a lot bigger, stronger and faster.
09;16;30;05 – 09;16;24;19
Kyle
Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, these are your trophy fish in the backyard and swimming pool.
09;16;24;15 – 09;16;23;09
Jon
Yeah, you’re not. You’re not getting.
09;16;23;09 – 09;16;22;21
Kyle
Away from them.
09;16;22;04 – 09;16;20;02
Jon
You’re either going to do well with them or die.
09;16;18;26 – 09;16;15;14
Aaron
You can’t wear your high school varsity jacket because.
09;16;15;07 – 09;16;14;05
Jon
No one cares.
09;16;14;05 – 09;16;10;19
Kyle
About what you did yesterday. And that’s actually true life, too.
09;16;10;06 – 09;15;58;27
Jon
It’s not just that where you’re at, like, like, I don’t think many people are impressed by what you did in high school college four, five years ago or last year. We care about what you’re doing today.
09;15;58;24 – 09;15;44;20
Kyle
Absolutely right. I think, you know, I think it’s healthy to be like, OK, that was a low back. And then you kind of assessed you like, OK, what risk it takes my body? What I take my mentality. What does it do socially for me, right?
09;15;43;14 – 09;15;37;28
Kyle
Because I very easily go back on college, you know, the scale for a test with 300.
09;15;37;10 – 09;15;36;04
Jon
Complete physical training.
09;15;35;28 – 09;15;35;14
Kyle
Physical.
09;15;35;04 – 09;15;33;23
Jon
I’m just letting people know, yeah, you get.
09;15;33;08 – 09;15;24;22
Kyle
The physical training test was 300. But then you had an extended scale. The my goal when I was in college was to get 400. I said I was three, 69.
09;15;24;20 – 09;15;21;22
Aaron
That’s a point score. Correct? Not your waiters.
09;15;21;11 – 09;15;19;14
Kyle
No, no. That is a has a point.
09;15;19;01 – 09;15;14;23
Jon
So is not the largest man’s 400.
09;15;14;22 – 09;15;04;19
Kyle
It’d be a lot to carry around. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, that was when I was running at a ten to mile doing 100 pushups, 90 sit ups.
09;15;04;10 – 09;15;03;00
Jon
And two minutes each two.
09;15;03;00 – 09;14;39;28
Kyle
Minutes each with some push ups and then two miles. And that was at 1110. And then I would go rocket, you know, three days. But I now look back like, yes, with every need. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but there is so much of a sacrifice and part of that is a sacrifice relationships.
09;14;39;16 – 09;14;25;02
Kyle
I ultimately broke my body because when I stopped doing it, my body was so tired all the time that I won’t do anything. And so I lost it and I did what I did now saying you shouldn’t do.
09;14;25;01 – 09;14;09;27
Kyle
I just sat there. I just said, All right, that’s all right. It wants is what I should do. You know, just go sit down. Instead of keeping up a portion of it, I just stopped. And I’ve never gone back to that stage.
09;14;09;16 – 09;14;08;04
Aaron
Well, that’s that’s a young you.
09;14;07;23 – 09;14;07;02
Kyle
Yeah, absolutely.
09;14;07;02 – 09;13;54;25
Aaron
So that’s that’s sort of that’s sort of the joy of the journey to play. And if the story is only I was physically strong, right, and you didn’t grow mentally through it, then you know.
09;13;54;14 – 09;13;53;28
Kyle
Yeah, we’ll get.
09;13;53;27 – 09;13;44;13
Aaron
As well as a point now, I mean, how old you could be you because of what you’ve learned. And that’s kind of the that’s the goal. one can through that one.
09;13;44;02 – 09;13;32;07
Kyle
Yeah, I mean, it’s it’s kind of a person who when you do line patients, breaks rush, you know, and they’re stopping, you know, straight line, there’s a tree in the way and they could cut down. Right, right.
09;13;30;26 – 09;13;28;06
Jon
Instead of reading the the land for a more efficient route.
09;13;26;11 – 09;13;09;15
Kyle
So I just left your wallet alongside that road and not worry about any crosses and rivers and even meadow as low cut. Cool. You know, that’s right. When I was younger, I was younger. I just thought, OK, so let’s go that way if there’s a long way.
09;13;08;25 – 09;13;07;19
Kyle
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09;13;07;18 – 09;12;54;03
Aaron
You know, because you’re you’re so stinking, arrogant. And then when I do, then when I break through that, I’m going to tell everybody about it and write, and they will that you won’t tell about the story of how you were in the field position for two years.
09;12;53;16 – 09;12;53;09
Aaron
Yeah.
09;12;52;13 – 09;12;44;26
Kyle
Right. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I climb walls. Rush, took down trees and ran this did that.
09;12;44;22 – 09;12;23;25
Jon
There’s a quick opportunity for encouragement here that I think we need to capitalize on. You know, when you’re young, you have youthful ambitions. You and I think it’s such a shame that we don’t encourage. Those who are younger to spend that in pursuit of an ideal, instead, they just use it thrashing about like when you have an
09;12;23;25 – 09;12;11;16
Jon
ideal to throw that youthful vigor at yes, then you’re going to gain the lessons more intentionally. So like, how cool is it to if you have someone in your life or you are someone and this is a word of encouragement and you’re passionate?
09;12;11;11 – 09;11;53;20
Jon
Use that passion in pursuit of an ideal that is too big for you to accomplish. So that way it can become your teacher, right? And then on the other end of the spectrum, you have those who are not as young and they there’s like this disdain in calcification that comes into the conversation.
09;11;53;11 – 09;11;40;26
Jon
And you hear the second well, when I was young, you can stop the conversation right there. I know the spirit of the mindset I’m talking to, right? And there’s a reason why that doesn’t mix with the youthful figure of those who are young.
09;11;40;26 – 09;11;31;07
Jon
And so yes, it’s like, Well, you’ve already quit, you’ve already given up. I see the dust in calcium build up on you where you’re turning into petrifying stone. So why would I listen to you? And then they’re like, You’re just a cocky little kid.
09;11;30;24 – 09;11;19;04
Jon
It’s like, Well, what if? What if those with more experience were able to encourage those who were young and say, Hey, I see passion and fire in you and purpose, right? What are you using that for?
09;11;19;03 – 09;11;18;09
Aaron
Yeah, that’s good.
09;11;18;09 – 09;11;13;29
Jon
And what value does it bring? And then my last point on this and I’ll shut up.
09;11;13;17 – 09;11;11;22
Aaron
But there’s a.
09;11;11;22 – 09;11;04;19
Jon
Good dichotomy there. Right? But what happens when you then take that and apply it to yourself and you look in the mirror also? Yep, right? You know.
09;11;04;01 – 09;10;50;19
Aaron
There’s something the old phrase is use is wasted on the young and maybe youth as well. Why some young? Because you don’t have some good mentors given direction to that. You know, I know that’s a lot of what your job is to and right?
09;10;50;08 – 09;10;32;04
Aaron
Yeah. You know, our job is to say to say, Hey, I’m so much better than you say, Hey, you know, those same difficulties you’re going through. I’m very familiar with that, and I’m going to help fast track you through the difficulties so you don’t have to do the same dumb things I did.
09;10;31;12 – 09;10;18;26
Aaron
Yeah, I’ll help give you direction, proper direction. And I know young man that you have an ax in your hand and you can cut down on those five trees and teach you how to sharpen it first right to do it more, they can get through it, you know.
09;10;17;11 – 09;10;04;14
Jon
And it’s exciting because even that statement, which is really common, right? Youth is wasted, associate associated. It’s so broken. Like if you’re a good steward or you care about things, then you weren’t allowed to be wasted, right? You’d find a way to to foster that.
09;10;03;22 – 09;09;47;03
Jon
And I just was, you know, thinking about you talking to your older self, right? Because one of the things that’s central to the story you’re sharing is there’s a immense self-awareness, an immense amount of reflection. And through that, you go through the gatekeeper of humility to come out to learn, how am I going to trust myself?
09;09;46;17 – 09;09;32;16
Jon
And you’re not just there is that opportunity to look at it at a larger scale. But I think that’s one of the telltale signs of someone who’s going to have great intestinal fortitude. Intentional life and resilience is they’re going to have to have that significant amount of.
09;09;31;07 – 09;09;30;00
Jon
Self inquisitiveness.
09;09;29;20 – 09;09;13;21
Kyle
Evaluation of humility, and I would if I was there, you know, to me, humility is one of those the biggest just because if you can’t look in and say, OK, I was wrong, then you’re never going to start the process.
09;09;12;20 – 09;08;56;28
Kyle
You’re never going to take the time. Maybe I should self-reflective because without that humility, you’re not going to. You’re like, Oh, OK, I knew I was good. But we’re going to run on like that. To me, that is like the key component, and I think that applied with everything that’s going on where you’re lifting.
09;08;55;22 – 09;08;44;09
Kyle
I wanted to add the weights together through the years, but but now that this is over, you know what this looks like, and no, this feels like I need to just do that.
09;08;44;08 – 09;08;26;23
Aaron
I’ve learned this lesson before. I can tell you what I love about your story, too, is that you told the story today or you fell right? I think that’s where that’s notable. I really appreciate that because that’s so rare.
09;08;26;11 – 09;08;17;25
Aaron
Hey, tell me about a feat of strength. Oh yeah, I’ll tell you. But this is my favorite strong story is when I fell right one.
09;08;17;25 – 09;08;05;18
Jon
It’s really brilliant about that observation, Erin, is you’re walking through in walking towards immense victories right now, and you didn’t even bring that into the conversation. Yeah, for multiple reasons.
09;08;04;26 – 09;08;01;10
Aaron
It’s not where the learning is. That’s not where the story that you know.
09;08;01;06 – 09;07;49;02
Jon
It further heightens the compliment, right? It’s like you could have sat here and bragged about where you are now, what you’re doing now. All these things been said, you know, I’m going to share something that actually shaped me and created something of greater value.
09;07;48;25 – 09;07;42;06
Aaron
And I thank you for that. And I say failure with an asterisk, right? It’s just like you told the story.
09;07;38;29 – 09;07;38;11
Kyle
Of your life.
09;07;37;18 – 09;07;21;15
Aaron
I love I love the redemption part of it for you was really that I yeah, I didn’t pass. But this is what I learned from it, and that was a win. I actually did win. Yeah, absolutely. So that’s that’s really good.
09;07;21;14 – 09;07;08;19
Aaron
Thanks for sharing that, and I hope someone’s encouraged by that, too if you are hitting failure. That’s a good thing. You’re finding a threshold, you’re learning. And I hope that you press pause. Just like your story, go to the forge.
09;07;08;19 – 09;07;04;14
Aaron
As Jon likes to say, you know, like, what is it? I got to do different now? Right?
09;07;03;12 – 09;07;00;08
Kyle
Well, thank you. I mean, it’s an absolute.
09;06;59;05 – 09;06;54;24
Jon
Absolutely push into the fight. Don’t run from Trump. Carl, thank you for coming.
